


Life after Michael.

by NightOfFanfics



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Also Gentle dom Dean sometimes, But mostly Dom Castiel I've come to realise, Castiel's POV, Destiel - Freeform, Different POV's, Eventual Smut, Family Drama, Fluff, Gentle Dom Castiel, Grace - Freeform, Grace Kink, Light to mild angst, M/M, Oil Gland Kink, Wing Kink, Wing Oil
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2019-05-21 20:04:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 86,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14921975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightOfFanfics/pseuds/NightOfFanfics
Summary: Michael was expelled from Dean's body, but a sudden twist and turn shows that perhaps everything isn't as alright as everyone thought it was. Is it the calm before another storm? Or is it something entirely different?





	1. Making popcorn.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> I know that in general people don't like WIPs a lot, but if I at least try to do it like this, I'm hoping to get more motivated to continue on with the story. :)  
> I hope you like this first chapter and will stick around for more!
> 
> Much love <3

Life after Michael.

Chapter 1: Making popcorn.

Castiel sighed as he patiently popped popcorn for their weekly movie night. It wasn’t his favourite task, Dean insisted that stove top popcorn was the best, but Cas couldn’t stop flinching every time the popping started violently going off. But, it was what Dean wanted, so he didn’t even argue about it in the end.

After the deep sigh, a soft smile spread across the angel’s lips. There had been many movie nights recently, and very little hunting. Of course, Dean was on edge, always aching for the next hunt but… Castiel liked it this way. It was… Calm. They needed calm right now, whether Dean wanted to see it or not.

After the big fight with Michael, and eventually pushing the archangel out of Dean’s body, things had gotten quiet. Almost too quiet. Dean was… Fine. Or so he claimed. Castiel had on several occasions, with and without Sam’s help, tried to get Dean to speak about the experience. But the stubborn man always said he was ‘fine’ and that there was ‘nothing to talk about’. Castiel knew him like the back of his hand. It wasn’t /fine/ at all.

\---

Cas’ thoughts were quickly interrupted by the sudden violent popping, and he quickly got the oven mitts and the giant bowl that they used for the popcorn since Dean always insisted on the biggest batches. He was just about pouring out the popcorn into the bowl once he heard a loud yell from the living room.

“Castiel! Come quick!” Jack shouted and the urgency in his voice made Cas nearly drop the pot of popcorn. He tossed the oven mitts aside and rushed to the living room, seeing Dean collapsed on the floor and shaking violently.

“Dean!” Cas yelled and kneeled, taking him quickly in his arms to hold up his head. Sam came rushing to the living room as well, his eyes widening at the scene.

“Cas, what’s- what’s wrong with him?” Sam asked breathlessly and Castiel shook his head.

“I- I don’t know- I-” Castiel breathed, gently reaching to Dean’s eyes and prying one eyelid open, shocked to see bright blue eyes staring back at him, eyes filled with grace and panic. “Dean!” Cas shouted again, but knew in his heart that he wasn’t capable of answering back. Not in this state. He let go of Dean’s eyelids, in favour of just cradling in head in his hands tightly to keep it from hitting the floor. “Shhh… Dean…” Cas tried softly, and suddenly, the shaking stopped and Dean’s eyes closed.

By now, Sam had joined the three on the floor, kneeling, phone in hand even though he didn’t have the first clue who to call. Perhaps Rowena? No. But she had helped Dean before… But this was a matter of angels, not… Witchery. To their knowledge at least. Jack looked nervous. Even though him and Dean had had their differences, Dean almost felt like a second father to him, but he was too afraid to do anything, not trusting himself even though he was practically human now without his grace. No, it was best for him to sit and wait, and let Castiel handle the situation.

“Is… What’s happening Cas?” Sam said softly and Cas shook his head.

“I… I don’t know I wish I knew. It was almost as if there were some residual grace inside of him, trying to get out.” Castiel said and glanced up at Sam. Sam frowned.

“How is that possible? We expelled Michael. Together. All of us. It can’t be...” Sam said, not wanting to believe what Cas was saying. Cas sighed, checking Dean’s pulse. At least it was throbbing steadily against his gentle fingers.

“I think that-” Cas started but was interrupted by Dean taking a gasping breath, his eyes opening wide, trying to sit up quickly. Cas quickly wrapped his arms around him and hindered him from any sudden movements.

“Dean? Dean. Dean can you hear me? Dean?” Cas said firmly, unable to stop repeating Dean’s name over and over again. He just wanted to hear his voice, to hear that he was alright. Dean looked to the side and up at Cas, swallowing thickly over and over again. Cas smiled a little when he realised Dean’s eyes were back to normal. The beautiful green eyes he was used to see staring back at him.

“Wha- What happened- Why are you- Holding me tight-” Dean stuttered, his voice husky and frail. Castiel licked his lips nervously.

“You had some kind of seizure Dean, some sort of… Attack. We’re not quite sure what it was, how are you feeling?” Castiel asked quietly, trying to keep his voice calm. He had learned that to a human in panic, it is best to speak quietly and in a calm manner to in turn reassure them that they were going to be okay. Even though Cas himself was terrified on the inside, his heart still beating fast in his chest. Dean blinked a little and shrugged.

“I- I’m fine. A bit winded but, fine.” Dean said and Sam rolled his eyes with a huff.

“Dean you’ve got to stop this. You are not fine. What the hell? You scared the crap out of us!” Sam said angrily and Dean frowned a little. “You were shaking, barely breathing and your eyes were-” Cas interrupted Sam with a glare. Dean didn’t need to know that right now. But Dean had already heard too much.

“My eyes were what, Sam?” Dean questioned, trying to sit up a bit more, but it was difficult in Cas’ tight hold. Not that he minded… It made him calm and he could relax just a little, realising how tired his muscles felt. Must’ve been the so called ‘attack’ everyone said he had. He barely remembered anything from it himself. Sam looked away. “I uhm… Nothing.” He said and shook his head. Dean frowned deeper and turned to Cas, his eyes begging, trying to pull off his best puppy-eyed look.

“Cas? What happened?” Dean asked with a trembling voice and Cas sighed deeply. It was impossible to resist Dean when he looked at him like that. He always broke under that stupidly soft gaze of his.

“Your eyes they… They were bright blue, as if they were lighting up filled with grace.” Castiel explained and Dean instantly looked panicked.

“W-What? What do you mean /grace/? There shouldn’t be any in here!” Dean argued, pointing at his chest. “Mi-Michael is gone! He’s gone Cas! Not in here!” Dean started shouting, and Castiel saw something he hadn’t really seen so purely in Dean’s eyes before. Not since he pulled him out of hell. Fear. Dean truly felt fear. Cas shook his head, gently placing his fingers against Dean’s temple.

“Dean, it’s alright. Michael won’t come near you ever again. I promised you that when we expelled him from your body, and I’m still keeping my promise.” Castiel said with a low voice, his fingers still pressing gently against Dean’s temple as a soothing gesture. “Michael, is gone. This… Whatever happened to your body just now, it’s something else, and it’s something we’ll take care of. Just like any other thing we’ve been through. Alright?” Cas asked and looked back into Dean’s worried eyes. Dean nodded slightly.

“I… Alright. Alright Cas.” Dean agreed but didn’t make a move to leave Cas’ hold of him. He was terrified, and he knew Cas could tell. Damnit. Stupid angel with his stupid angel powers. But what Dean didn’t realise, was that his brother saw it just as well, and Sam hadn’t looked so defeated and worried in a long long time.

***


	2. Bedtime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a slightly more demure movie night, the boys are headed to bed. And the sleep is anything but peaceful...

2\. Bedtime

After a little moment, they had managed to move to the living room to watch the film. Dean was swept up in a blanket which Cas had insisted on, and he sat tiredly on the sofa. Cas sighed.

“Dean, we don’t have to do this. Perhaps you need some rest instead?” Castiel suggested but only got sad eyes in return from Dean.

“I’m… F-” Dean started to say the word ‘fine’ but Sam looked at him begrudgingly. Dean sighed. “I just want a moment to sit and calm down with everyone, okay Cas?” Dean asked and Castiel nodded.

“Of course.” Castiel responded, looking to the bowl on the coffee table that was half filled with the popcorn that he had managed to save from the kitchen. If Dean wanted everyone to sit down to a movie of his choice before bedtime, then Cas wasn’t going to disagree in the first place.

Jack had been awfully quiet too, and Castiel wondered what the boy was thinking. He looked worried, naturally, they all were but… There was something else. Perhaps his lack of grace was making him feel weak, making him feel like if only he’d had it, he could’ve helped Dean somehow.

***

“Alright Jack, bedtime.” Sam said once the first movie of the two Dean had chosen was over. Jack frowned. 

“I’m not sure I understand, or agree with these so called ‘bed times’.” Jack said and looked up at Sam. Sam sighed and patted his back.

“You’re not supposed to agree with them, you’re supposed to not like them. But, you’re a teenager and you should have some rules.” Sam said and Jack frowned deeper.

“Why are you forcing me to do something I shouldn’t enjoy?” Jack asked but got up from his seat. Sam smiled.

“Because that’s what being a human teenager is like.” Sam just said, even cracking a small smile from Dean. “Come on, we can watch the other movie tomorrow okay?” Sam said and Jack nodded.

“Good night Castiel, good night Dean.” Jack said as he walked past the sofa with Sam. Dean nodded.

“Night kid.” Dean said softly and Cas pressed out a smile at him.

“Good night Jack.” Cas said, his voice soft and reassuring, making Jack smile ever so slightly.

Once Sam and Jack was out of the room, Castiel turned to Dean. He could feel a sensation of want from the hunter, but he wasn’t sure what it was. It made him frown a little. In the past he had felt urges or wishes from Dean through their profound bond, but usually when he had acted upon them, things hadn’t turned out all that great. So instead, Castiel waited for Dean to speak up.

“I uh… I can’t believe I’m asking this…” Dean said and rubbed a hand over his face with a sigh. “Can you uh… Watch over me tonight? You know… In that creepy way in the corner or something? Like you used to do sometimes…” Dean murmured and Castiel instantly smiled.

“Of course, Dean. I actually wanted to suggest that myself, but knowing how against it you’ve been in the past, I wasn’t sure if I should’ve.” Castiel nodded and stood up, holding out a hand for Dean.

“Nah, I’m fine.” Dean said and held up a hand showing he didn’t need Cas’ help getting up. He slowly stood up on slightly trembling legs, but he made it up himself nonetheless. “Well usually when a dude wants to stare at you through the night it’s kinda like one of those creepy vamps from those chick flicks. Not really something you would agree to in a heartbeat huh?” Dean joked, and Castiel shook his head with a soft snort. Even though he could still feel Dean’s fear, the man still managed to crack a joke in the midst of it. He admired Dean for that. He had always admired him for that. “I’m going to brush my teeth, wait by my door okay?” Dean said and Castiel nodded, splitting up in the hallway as Dean walked to the bathroom and he walked to the door of Dean’s room.

Castiel waited patiently, but also with a worry stirring in his belly. He didn’t like leaving Dean alone in the bathroom but he knew if he had suggested he’d watch over him there as well, there would’ve likely been an argument. People preferred their bathroom time to be separate. Unless it was shower sex, as Dean had so bluntly explained it. Shower sex sounded messy and complicated, and Cas was happy he had never had to partake in such an act thus far.

***  
It didn’t take long though before Dean waltzed up to the door, actually looking a bit better from the bathroom visit. Castiel smiled up at him, and Dean smiled back before opening the door to his room.

“Alright. Just… Choose wherever you-” Dean started but Cas had already moved to his desk and sat down in the chair, gently sliding off his trench coat and suit jacket, leaning back wearing only his shirt. Dean nodded. “Alright, that works.” Dean said and pulled off his flannel shirt but kept his black t-shirt on before sliding into the bed. Dean muttered something, and then Castiel watched as he started to squirm underneath the covers. Cas frowned.

“Dean? Are you alright?” He asked and Dean rolled his eyes.

“Yeah yeah, just, trying to take off my pants under the covers which turned out to be a lot more difficult than I thought.” Dean muttered and Castiel sighed.

“I’ve seen you in your underwear before Dean.” Castiel noted and Dean blushed just a little.

“Yeah well once is enough…” He murmured back to the angel and finally managed to kick his pants off and down to the floor. Dean groaned loudly and turned off the light on the nightstand. “Night Cas.” He murmured and Castiel watched over him, looking at Dean’s back since he had turned to his side.

“Good night, Dean.” Castiel repeated softly before settling in in the chair which wasn’t as uncomfortable as he’d first thought.

***

Castiel of course never fully slept, but he had learned how to slide into a state of mind that was kind of like sleeping. Calm, serene and-

In a split second, Castiel snapped out of his dream-like state when he heard Dean muttering and tossing and turning.

“Dean-” Castiel gasped and quickly moved over to the bed. He looked him over, and realised quickly that it was only a nightmare, not another attack. Castiel sighed in relief, some of his tension releasing from his body. “Dean, it’s alright, Dean it’s just a dream.” Castiel tried, gently placing a hand on his shoulder.

Dean woke with a flinch at the touch, staring up at Cas and breathing heavily.

“C-Cas?” Dean stuttered and Cas nodded.

“Yes, I’m here, it’s alright. It was only a nightmare, Dean. You’re alright.” Cas repeated over and over, stroking Dean’s shoulder and gripping it softly to let him know he was really there. Dean let out a sigh of relief and fell back against the pillows a bit. He swallowed thickly, rubbing at his eyes. “Do you need anything? Perhaps some water?” Castiel offered and Dean just shook his head.

“Nah… I’m fine just…” Dean looked at Cas and then looked at the empty spot beside him in the rather large bed for one person. Dean bit his lip, and glanced up at Cas a few times, his gaze wavering with a lot of uncertainty. “Could you… I mean would you... “ Dean took a deep breath.

“Lay with you?” Castiel asked, hoping that was what Dean was asking for, and wanting to make it easier for him by suggesting it himself. Dean looked back up at Cas and nodded softly.

“Yeah… Just… You know… I was kinda spooked by that nightmare, heh…” Dean said bashfully and pulled the bedding a bit to the side to give Cas room to get in.

Castiel watched Dean intently for a moment, just to make sure Dean really wanted this. And sure enough, it seemed the hunter’s words were true.

“Alright.” Cas said simply with a low voice, letting go of Dean’s arm and moving around to the other side of the bed. He pulled the bedding down a bit more before slowly sliding into the bed beside Dean. It was… Slightly awkward, and he didn’t even know why. This was Dean after all, they were close, and… Perhaps that was why he felt awkward. Or… Was it more a sense of nervousness? Castiel wasn’t sure, but whatever it was, it wasn’t entirely unpleasant, it was just sort of… Tingly. But he decided to take a few deep breaths. This would be okay. It would be. Dean needed this and… Castiel found himself enjoying laying in his warm bed like this as well.

Castiel felt a lot of things for Dean. Some of them he didn’t fully understand, and some things he was definitely certain of. None of these things were really something he felt like he could talk to Dean about, or tell him about them either, and it sometimes gave him an aching feeling in his heart. He was hopeful though, a lot of the time he did feel a sense of hope, which Dean found quite annoying, but he was hopeful that one day it would be the right time to tell Dean fully how he felt. But that was not tonight. For now, he would be thankful for sharing the bed and the warmth with the man he felt so very bonded to, and that was more than enough for him right in this moment in time.

“So uh…” Dean said softly and cleared his throat. He was hella nervous, and he couldn’t wrap his head around why. It was just Cas. Just Cas. No one else. No Michael, no… No monster that wanted to hurt him. Just Cas. His angel. The angel. Whatever. “Uhm, Good night then.” Dean said awkwardly and turned around on his side again, his back against Cas. Cas tilted his head, a little bit saddened by the turn away from him but at the same time he fully understood it as well.

“Good night Dean, I’ll be right here.” Castiel said and closed his eyes, trying to slip into his calm state of mind but found it difficult with Dean being so close.

***  
The room was still, and it was very quiet, only the sound of Cas slightly moving around and the buzzing of a broken lamp in the hallway that needed to be fixed was all that could be heard. Suddenly, Dean flinched half way through the night, his eyes opening wide before becoming lidded.

“Cas?” Dean asked quietly, and Cas shifted in the bed from his back, back to his side so he could look at Dean. Or, the back of his head at least.

“Yes, Dean. Did you have another nightmare?” Castiel asked, worried. Dean sighed and shook his head.

“Nah…” Dean murmured, pulling the blanket around himself a bit. “I was just wondering if you could… Hold me.” Dean suddenly said, making Cas frown. Hold him?

“Hold you?” Castiel asked and shifted a bit closer. “Are you sure?” Cas asked and Dean nodded.

“Yeah, pretty positive.” Dean smiled to himself, oddly at ease. “Just… Come here and wrap your arms around me will ya?” Dean said, his smile turning into a smirk, that of course Cas couldn’t see. Castiel’s frown only deepened, and if he had a mirror close, he could swear that he would see a pink tinge on his cheeks.

“I… Alright.” Cas agreed, his voice sounding very confused because that was what he was. Confused. Maybe Dean was still dreaming? Maybe he wanted to… Sleep-hug. Like sleep walking only different and much much better in Cas’ mind.

Cas didn’t know exactly how to go about this, but slowly he slid up behind Dean, and pressed his body against the back of Dean’s strong form, that was slightly more thin that he liked it to be. No matter how much high calorie food Dean ate, his body was still recovering from holding Michael it seemed. Cas slowly wrapped his arms around Dean’s waist, pulling him close. Dean was so warm, and Castiel felt himself relaxing after the stressful evening, just by holding him close. A smile spread across his lips, and he hummed softly.

“Is this alright?” Castiel asked, his nose barely brushing Dean’s broad shoulders. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to take it all in. He had only held Dean like this once before that he could recall. When he was a demon, and he had to hold him back to stop him. But this time, it was far more pleasurable. Very pleasurable in fact. Dean was quiet, and didn’t respond, and for a moment there Cas was about to pull back before he heard a rolling, deep chuckle.

“Someone’s enjoying this already.” Dean purred lowly and pushed his backside against Cas’ crotch, causing Castiel’s eyes to widen quickly.

“Dean I-” Cas stuttered, realising suddenly that his groin had started to take interest of what was pressing against it, and very much so. Dean chuckled again.

“You can’t even hide it can you? It’s alright. /I like it/.” Dean breathed out, his voice husky as he pushed back once more. Cas was shocked. Dean… Liked it? Cas began feeling more flustered.

“Dean, I- I think you need to stop-” Castiel said, unsure of what was going on. Dean sighed and let out a soft groan.

“Cas, Cas, Cas… Stop? When we’re finally getting somewhere? Come on man, don’t you see? I want you. I want you so badly Castiel… I want you… I…” The words rolled off of Dean’s tongue, genuine and heartfelt, and so very soft, and Castiel couldn’t believe his ears. He felt Dean’s body shift more against his own, and Castiel struggled to keep up with what was really going on.

Suddenly, Dean turned around to face Cas, his eyes wide and then- Castiel saw it.

“I need you.” Dean said firmly, his eyes once again shining with blue, vibrant grace, and Castiel panicked. 

“Dean!” Castiel shouted, unable to stop himself once he stared back at the bright blue grace filled eyes. And the shout must’ve reached somewhere inside of Dean, because in a split second, Dean let out a gasp and his eyes widened and he started once again shaking violently in the bed. “Dean! Dean-” Castiel quickly took a hold of Dean’s shoulders and held him down, thinking that at least they were on soft materials right now rather than the hard bunker floor of the living area. “Sam!!” Cas shouted when the shaking didn’t stop, his voice panicked.

It didn’t take long until Sam practically burst through the door, for a split second wondering what Cas was doing in Dean’s bed, but then deciding it was probably because he had jumped in to stop the shaking.

“Dean!” Sam shouted as well when he saw the cramped state of his brother, the bright blue eyes that burned even hotter this time. Castiel panted, his face twisted into something painful because this time he couldn’t hide his worry. This time, it was worse.

A few seconds went by before Dean suddenly stopped, his eyes falling shut and turning back to normal, and his shaking stopped as well. Castiel swallowed thickly.

“Dean?” Castiel asked quietly, gently shaking him. “Dean. Dean-” Cas’ voice filled with upset as he shook the hunter and got no response. But then, Dean’s eyes slowly blinked open, and he looked up at a very distressed looking Castiel.

“What- What happened?” Dean breathed out, realising they were not alone and looked up at Sam. “It happened again, didn’t it?” Dean said, the sore feeling in his body familiar from before. Castiel nodded, his eyes sad and tired. Dean lowered his head and shook it gently.

“That’s it, tomorrow we’re calling someone. Rowena, or, I don’t know. Just someone. Maybe Rowena knows something about what’s happening with him.” Sam said and Castiel nodded agreeingly. Cas then turned his attention back to Dean. Something was eating at him, and he just had to ask.

“Dean, what is the last thing you remember?” Cas asked quietly and Dean frowned.

“Uh… I remember uh… Having a nightmare and then asking you to stay beside me for uh… For safety purposes…” Dean mumbled, keeping his gaze away from his brother. Castiel frowned.

“And then?” Castiel pressed and Dean looked up at him, still frowning.

“And then I fell asleep, and then I woke up just now by you shaking me and calling my name.” Dean finished and Castiel tilted his head.

“That… That can’t be… It’s impossible.” Castiel said and now it was Sam’s turn to frown.

“What’s impossible, Cas?” Sam asked and Castiel looked up at Sam before looking down at the bed.

“Before… I mean… After I had joined Dean in bed to keep close to… Protect him… He woke up a little while later and… Talked to me.” Castiel said and Dean propped himself up on his elbow.

“Talked to you? Like, sleep-talking or- or what?” Dean asked and Castiel licked his lips nervously. He shook his head. He couldn’t tell the brothers exactly what had happened, and especially not to Dean. Cas felt nervous.

“No I… It was a bit more than that. You were… Talking and… Chuckling and moving around… It was only when you turned around that I saw your eyes again and… And then I yelled your name and you… Went into your seizure.” Castiel explained and Sam and Dean looked equally confused.

“Well... What did I say?” Dean asked and Castiel quickly looked away, his cheeks turning bright red and he was thankful for the dark room this time around.

“Nothing of importance.” Castiel said quickly and with a tremble to his voice as he remembered the way Dean had spoken. So… Heartfelt and… And heated. He realised then, just how much he wished Dean had spoken to him like that for real, and not just… In some strange sort of possessed state. Castiel looked up at Dean before looking away once more. Dean sighed.

“Alright. Well, I guess… We’ll call Rowena tomorrow like Sam said and we’ll get this figured out… Right Cas?” Dean asked and Castiel nodded.

“Of course we will.” Castiel said, but this time, his voice wasn’t as confident. Something had been so strong to take over Dean, and to make him speak and move and chuckle… It was something else. Something strong. And Castiel still had no clue what it could be, or what was happening to Dean. Dean sighed and laid back down on the pillows, pulling the covers back up over his body.

“Let’s all just try to get some more sleep yeah?” Dean said and closed his eyes, and Sam nodded, reluctantly leaving the room. He could see that Castiel was hiding something, and Sam had every intention to question him about it in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for bookmarking and commenting on the first chapter! I hope you liked this longer second chapter just as much :)  
> Rock on!


	3. The Witch versus The Angel.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam decides to confront Cas of what really happened last night, and they decide to ask for help from an old friend who just happens to be a witch...

3\. The Witch versus The Angel.

Castiel had every intention to continue sleeping, but after what happened, he couldn't seem to get any rest. He stayed by Dean's side, all night, slightly more away from him, just in case. He was certain Dean didn't notice though, the hunter had fallen asleep very quickly since his body was so exhausted.

Cas was up early in the morning, preparing breakfast. Dean had taught him how to make pancakes, and he was currently making stacks and stacks of them to curb the worry he was feeling.

“Hey Cas.” Sam suddenly entered the kitchen and Cas nearly jumped all the way to the ceiling at the sudden sound of his voice. Cas dropped the spatula on the counter, but quickly moved to grab it back.

“Good morning, Sam.” Castiel said to a very confused looking Sam. The younger brother leaned against the counter and looked at Cas with concerned eyes. He was just going to get right to it.

“Cas, listen, I know something happened last night. And you're going to tell me, okay? You don't have to tell Dean but you have to tell me.” Sam said and sighed when he saw Cas’ reluctance. “What did he say to you? Or was it even Dean? Is… Is some part of Michael still in there?” Sam asked and nearly shivered at the thought. Cas sighed and gripped the counter tightly with his hands.

“There is /no/ part of Michael left in Dean. That is not how it works, Sam.” Cas said firmly and looked over at him. “Regarding what he said, like I said before, it was nothing of importance.” Castiel repeated and Sam sighed with a roll of his eyes. He knew this would be testing Cas’ patience, but he wasn’t opening up so he had to do something drastic.

“Did he tell you he loves you?” Sam said suddenly, his voice soft. Castiel's eyes widened and he looked at Sam and then quickly looked away.

“Now- Now why would you ask me that Sam? No he did not- should he? No nevermind-” Castiel rambled. “He did /not/ tell me any of that sort. No. Not anything.” Cas continued and Sam couldn't help but look at him with a small smile. If it was something the angel still was somewhat bad at, it was lying about something that made him truly flustered. 

“Cas. I didn't really think he did but the way you're acting now… I mean, /did he/?” Sam asked, now genuinely confused and not just teasing. Wełl, his teasing wasn't only teasing after all. He could see very clearly that his brother had feelings for Cas, and definitely vice versa. And it was starting to get very annoying watching the two dance around each other. He had just wanted to tease at first about Dean saying such a thing, since in his eyes it was true, but now at Cas’ reaction, he was more curious than ever. Cas sighed deeply in frustration.

“No… He didn't… He did however, say some other things.” Castiel started and sighed once more before continuing. “He… He started speaking about wanting me close… Hugging him and being near him. So very… Heartfelt and true. So, I did as he requested, of course. And I held thim and then... Then he started speaking more… Explicitly.” Cas said and Sam frowned. “And I was starting to get nervous and worried and Dean continued and when I told him to stop he… He turned to me and that's when I saw it. His eyes. Bright blue.” Cas said and looked down at the floor. “That's when I realised that… What he had said was not true. Most likely not even his words. I don't know why I didn't realise it right away…” Castiel explained with a sigh. “And then I called his name and then he had his seizure and well… You know the rest.” Cas said and looked up at Sam with a shy but very sad smile. Sam nodded, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Wow, Cas I… I'm sorry. I really am. That… That must've been awful.” Sam said and Cas finished off the last pancake.

“It… When I realised the word were spoken in some other way and not coming from Dean's heart, yes, then it was awful.” Castiel responded and looked back up at Sam. San nodded once more.

“Cas… Maybe Dean said them for a reason?” Sam thought suddenly, watching as Cas furrowed his brows.

“What do you mean?” Cas said and Sam cleared his throat.

“Well, you say it wasn't Dean but at the same time, who else could it be? Maybe it's something inside him that's causing him to say things he wouldn't choose to say otherwise? Maybe something is breaking down his inhibitions and he's just… Kinda speaking his mind. Or heart, rather.” Sam explained. “Can grace make people tell the truth?” Sam asked and Castiel didn't know what to say, too many thoughts spinning in his mind right now. Dean speaking some kind of deep down truth? That couldn't be…

“I… I suppose the grace could but it doesn't really work that way.” Castiel said, his voice low and confused. “Grace can do many things but I doubt it can manipulate a human from the inside out. But maybe it can, I'm not sure.”

“Sure about what?” Dean suddenly entered the kitchen and Cas flinched again.

“I uh… I'm not sure if the pancakes will be to your liking, if I did them right.” Castiel said quickly and Dean shrugged. 

“I'm starving, I'm sure they'll be fine Cas.” Dean said and grabbed a plate and started stacking up the pancakes before heading to the table to enjoy his breakfast happily. Castiel nodded.

“I’m sure they will be…” Cas sighed and handed Sam a plate of pancakes with a little smile. Jack soon came into the kitchen as well, and rubbed his eyes tiredly. Cas smiled and handed him a plate as well. “Good morning Jack. Sleep well?” He asked and Jack nodded.

“Yes, thank you.” Jack smiled and headed to the table, taking a seat by Sam and Dean. Castiel took a few pancakes as well and joined the other’s and surprisingly, Dean was the first one to speak up.

“So, are we calling Rowena or what?” He said and Sam nodded.

“Yeah, yeah I think that’s for the best. Cas?” Sam asked, wanting him to be included in the decision as well. Castiel nodded and looked over at Dean worriedly.

“Yes, I think that is a good place to start. She has helped Dean, and all of us before, I’m sure she would offer her help to us if we asked nicely.” Cas said and Sam smiled.

“Maybe /you/ should ask her, Cas.” Sam said with a crooked smile. Castiel frowned.

“Why should I be the one asking her?” He asked back, incredulously. Sam chuckled.

“Because, she clearly has a thing for you. Haven’t you noticed? She always calls you cute pet names and she’s always happy when she realises you’re around and-”

“Sam could you pass me the syrup?” Dean interrupted his brother and held his hand out. Sam made a smug face and reached for the syrup.

“Here. Now as I was saying-”

“Look we get it. Fine. Cas will make the call.” Dean interrupted Sam again and rolled his eyes with a soft grumble. Castiel frowned, not sure what the interaction between the two was about. But Sam knew, and his smirk lingered all through their breakfast.

***

“Yes. Alright. Yes I’ll… I’ll see you soon too. Bye... Bye now.” Castiel murmured before he hung up the phone after talking with Rowena. What had Sam been on about by the breakfast table? He had been teasing Dean but he didn’t quite understand why Dean had become so grumpy all of the sudden. Was it because Sam had said Rowena liked him and called him cute? Cas’ cheeks heated up a bit. Had Dean become… Jealous?

His thoughts were soon interrupted as everyone entered the living area.

“So, is she coming?” Sam asked and Cas nodded.

“Yes, she was going to use some spell to get here so she’ll be here in-”

“Hello boys.” Rowena suddenly appeared in the room, holding a little leather travelling bag. Dean flinched and Jack looked up in surprise. 

“Jesus Christ, do you have to just pop up like that behind us?” Dean grumbled and Rowena smiled.

“Oh get out of your arse already, you needed my help so, now I’m here. Hello gorgeous.” Rowena said and winked over at Cas who blushed a little and looked away. Dean frowned, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Yeah, I need your help. Something is wrong with me after casting out Michael and we need to find out what. I’m having these… seizures, attacks, and my eyes are glowing with grace. And apparently I’m having conversations that I’m not even aware of…” Dean muttered and looked at the witch firmly. Rowena frowned a little.

“Grace? Well then it’s a matter for the angels isn’t it?” She said and looked to Cas. Cas looked down, disappointed in himself for not being able to figure it out himself. Dean moved closer to Rowena, looking stone cold.

“Well it just so happens that our angel here have not seen this happen before, so I would suggest you change your attitude and help us, please.” Dean said, adding the please at the end for good measure. Rowena sighed and shook her head.

“Alright alright, all work and no play makes the Winchesters dull boys.” She said and put her leather bag on the table and pointed to a chair for Dean. “There. Sit.” She said simply and opened one of her books. Dean hesitantly moved to sit down on the chair and glanced up at Sam.

“Rowena, what are you going to do?” Sam asked worriedly and Rowena smiled. 

“A spell of course. I’m going to do a spell to see if there’s anyone, or /anything/ inhabiting his body. If something is possessing Dean that is making him act like this, it will show itself with this spell.” She said and flipped the pages of her book before pulling out a charred twig and a strange looking fruit. “Alright, ready?” She asked Dean who nodded hesitantly. No one was ever really ready to get zapped magically but what could he do about it really?

Rowena moved up in front of Dean and clutched the twig and the fruit in her hand. She started chanting in a strange sounding language, and at the same time she clutched and squeezed the fruit and twig in her hand until the fruit exploded and the twig crumbled and mixed into one. She threw the mixture on the ground, and it made a sharp snapping noise and purple smoke emitted from the pile and Rowena held out her hand.

“Show yourself!!” She yelled and looked at Dean with a bright purple gaze. Sam stood by Dean’s side, and Jack was standing beside Castiel who looked as concerned as he possibly could. They all stared at Dean but… Nothing happened.

Dean frowned, coughing a bit from the purple smoke.

“Uh… I think you… Smoked out.” Dean smirked and coughed again. “It didn’t work, try it again, come on, make the poofing thing and the-”

“It did work you silly boy.” Rowena scolded. “My spells always work. It just… Didn’t show us anything. So, your body is free of any sort of possession there might be.” She said and turned around, closing her book swiftly. Castiel frowned.

“So… Dean is just… Dean?” Sam asked and Rowena nodded.

“Mhm. Flesh and blood.” She said and packed her bag. Castiel moved forwards and grabbed her arm tightly.

“That can’t be.” He threatened with a low voice and Rowena looked up at him quickly. “You must’ve done something wrong. Something is hurting Dean and we need to find out what it is.” Castiel continued fiercely and Rowena looked at him with angry eyes.

“I did what I could, Castiel. I did not do the spell wrong, and nothing is possessing Dean. I don’t know what else to tell you. Other than, ta.” She said and disappeared with a soft poof. Castiel growled and clutched his hands tightly and Dean looked at him with a frown.

“Cas… We’ll figure it out okay?” Sam said and tried to walk up to him but Cas held up his hand.

“Don’t.” Cas said coldly and left the room, disappearing off to his bedroom. Sam sighed and Dean hunched over the table, his face in his hands.

“So what do we do now?” Dean asked and clenched his jaw tightly.

***

Castiel paced in his bedroom, trying to think of something, /anything/ that could help Dean right now. He thought about the angels, everything he knew about grace, everything he had ever done to- Suddenly Castiel stopped in his steps. He remembered something, something he hadn’t done in quite a while.

He rushed back down the hallway back to the living area where everyone was sitting around the table now.

“Dean- I’ve got an idea.” Cas said and everyone looked up at him curiously. Dean smiled a little. Cas always figured something out in the end, didn’t he?

“What is it Cas?” Dean asked and looked at him tiredly.

“I- I haven’t done this in a long time but, I need you to let me touch your soul.” Castiel said and Sam frowned.

“Touch his- Like you did with me and… And Samuel when you realised I… Didn’t have one?” Sam asked and swallowed nervously and Castiel nodded.

“Yes, exactly that. I figure that if the grace is coming from somewhere, it should be bound to Dean’s soul and if I can feel it, then perhaps I can figure out what it is and what it’s doing.” Castiel said and walked up to Dean. Dean nodded.

“Alright.” He said simply and tugged on his belt, releasing it and putting it in his mouth. “Lay it on me.” He mumbled around the piece of leather, and Cas tilted his head. Sam stood up quickly.

“Cas you- You said you haven’t done this since then, do you really remember how to do it safely?” Sam asked worriedly and Cas nodded, rolling up his sleeve slowly.

“I do remember how to do it. I might be a bit… Rusty as you would say but I remember.” Castiel said and looked at Dean softly. “Now, don’t move Dean. I’ll be as gentle as I can.” Castiel said and placed one firm hand on Dean’s shoulder.

Dean’s eyes widened a bit in fear, and he looked up into Castiel’s eyes that were not fearful, but worried as all hell. Slowly, Castiel inserted his hand just below Dean’s rib cage and Dean squeezed his eyes shut and cried out in pain. Sam had to clench his hands not to rush to his brother, and it was almost too much seeing him like that until-

There was a loud bang and a bright flash that lit up the whole room. Castiel was flung back to the other side of the room, the force too strong. Sam and Jack had both tumbled to the floor, and Sam croaked out his brother’s name desperately.

“Dean-” Sam tried to get up but he instead just tried to crawl towards the chair where Dean surprisingly still sat calmly. Unharmed. In fact, it was like nothing had even happened to him. Dean was panting quickly though, and looked around himself before spitting the belt out and standing up.

“Cas-!” Dean yelled and rushed towards the other side of the room, and Sam couldn’t help but frown when he witnessed this. How could Dean even be standing?

Dean kneeled before Cas and held up his head. “Cas? Cas dammit come on what did you do?” Dean whimpered and held him close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this one! :D I was really taken away with the writing but I've read it through so it should be ready to post XD  
> I was just too eager to get it out there! And, sorry about the cliffhanger ;)
> 
> Enjoy and,  
> Rock on!


	4. Damage control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Castiel's faithful try to see what was hiding within Dean is being dealt with, and emotions are running high.

4\. Damage control

It took a moment before Sam’s eyes adjusted fully, and he managed to get back on his feet. He saw Dean cradling Cas in his arms, and decided to go to Jack to see if he was okay first.

“Jack? You okay? Can you stand up?” Sam asked, not sure if the grace explosion had had an impact on the boy. Jack nodded and slowly got up with Sam’s help, holding onto his arm tightly.

“What… What was that?” Jack murmured in confusion, leaning against Sam’s chest. Sam looked back over at Dean and Cas, sighing softly.

“I don’t know.” Sam just replied, getting tired of not knowing what was going on.

Dean was still on his knees on the floor, not wanting to let Cas go. He was afraid of losing him again, and if this stupid thing that only caused him a seizure once in a while was going to make him lose Cas again then- Then it was not worth losing Cas over it.

“Come on man don’t do this to me.” Dean whispered, gently stroking a few stray hairs from Cas’ forehead, a very intimate gesture but he didn’t think much of it at that time.

Suddenly, Cas groaned and began to cough, his eyes squeezing tight and then blinking open slowly. Dean’s eyes widened and his whole face shone up like a kid on Christmas Eve.

“Cas? Cas!” Dean said eagerly and shook his shoulders a bit. “Are- Are you okay? Talk to me Cas, damage control, remember?” Dean said, having taught Cas to do an immediate scan of his body and how he felt so they could help as quickly as possible when anyone was in danger. Castiel groaned once more and finally opened his eyes fully, looking up at Dean.

“Dean- Dean are you- are you alright?” Castiel stuttered, afraid and not fully understanding how Dean was alright after that explosion of grace. Dean smirked and rolled his eyes.

“Am /I/ okay? You flung half across the whole bunker and you’re asking me if /I’m/ okay? I’m awesome okay? Just- tell me you’re okay too?” Dean said and helped Cas to sit up a bit more. Castiel rubbed his temple and let out a deep sigh.

“I’m… I’m fine. That was… Unexpected.” Castiel said and glanced up at Sam and Jack who had joined them now. Dean nodded.

“Yeah you can say that again.” Dean muttered and Sam tried to be more helpful by going to the kitchen to get some water for the angel thinking it might help a bit. Jack kneeled by Cas side and Cas smiled at him softly.

“Are you alright, Jack?” Castiel asked and Jack nodded with a soft smile.

“Yes. I’m fine.” Jack said with a nod and looked at Dean before looking back at Castiel.

“So uhm… You say it was unexpected, does that mean you know what happened?” Dean asked, looking at Cas seriously. Cas couldn’t help but blush, looking down a bit before nodding. Dean’s eyes widened. “Well, that’s great! Tell us.” Dean said and looked up at Sam as he came back, handing the glass of water to Cas who drank it quickly.

“It appears that… I uh…” Cas muttered after finishing the glass of water and Sam frowned at Castiel’s evasive behaviour. Dean looked at him patiently, and held a hand on his shoulder.

“What Cas?” Dean asked worriedly and Castiel looked up at Dean with puppy eyes, prepared for the worst.

“You… You have to promise you won’t get mad at me. I don’t like it when you are mad at me…” Castiel murmured and Dean frowned.

“Uh, okay. Sure. Not going to be mad. Just, tell me okay?” Dean said and Cas looked down once more.

“It appears that when I… When I rescued you from hell, a part of my grace found its way into your body and soul, Dean.” Castiel said and Sam looked surprised, his eyebrows raised, and Dean usually didn’t copy his brother’s expression but right now, he looked just as surprised. Castiel squirmed a bit and groaned softly.

“And when I helped you to push Michael out of your body, it seems that my grace that had been very… Dormant, has decided to manifest itself differently.” Castiel explained and Dean closed his eyes, trying to understand what exactly Castiel was telling him.

“Okay, so what you’re saying is, I’ve had your grace, uh, inside of me this whole time? Ever since- Ever since you saved me? And you /knew/ about it?” Dean said and Castiel looked up at him nervously.

“Not exactly. I… I knew, or rather, felt that I left a part of me, in you, when I saved but you showed no sign of actually having it when we first met. You didn’t even understand my… attempts at speaking to you. The angel radio way.” Castiel said and Dean blushed a bit, remembering the high pitch noises and the shattering glass like it was yesterday. Dean nodded again.

“So what… I’m an angel now?” Dean asked and Sam snorted.

“That’s a first.” Sam couldn’t help but comment and Dean huffed.

“Shut up Sam.” Dean grumbled back and Castiel couldn’t help but smile a little.

“No… You’re not an angel, Dean.” Castiel said, but a fleeting thought went through his mind that, to him, Dean would always be an angel to him but in the more figurative sort of way. “But, we do have to get my grace under control, so you don’t hurt yourself or anyone else.” Castiel said and reached up to place a hand on Dean’s forehead. Dean quickly shrugged back.

“Hey woah, easy there tiger. What are you going to do?” Dean asked and Castiel frowned. “I… I was going to say some words in enochian to make the grace go back to it’s dormant state inside of you. It shouldn’t be that difficult.” Cas said and tilted his head. Dean swallowed thickly.

“Okay, first of all, you just about exploded from dealing with this grace inside of me just moments ago. Second of all… Maybe this could be to our advantage?” Dean said and Sam’s eyes widened.

“Dean! You can’t be serious? What the hell are you doing to do all hopped-up on grace?” Sam snapped and Dean smirked.

“Well, the question is, what /can’t/ I do hopped-up on grace?” Dean said with that twinkle in his eye and now it was Castiel’s turn to roll his eyes a little.

“Dean, grace is not a toy.” Castiel said and looked at him with narrowed eyes. Dean pouted playfully.

“Oh come on. How bad can it be? If I can get this under control then I can protect myself more easily and-” And be ready if Michael comes back, Dean thought with a clench of his jaw. He just wanted to feel safe, and the thought of having some of Castiel’s grace inside of him, made him feel just that. Safe. And warm. Sam sighed and crossed his arms.

“I don’t approve of this.” Sam said and Dean stood up, helping Cas up as well.

“Of course you don’t. But that doesn’t matter. I’m keeping the grace… Active. And that’s that.” Dean said firmly and Castiel looked at him and then at Sam.

“Cas?” Sam said, hopeful that perhaps Cas could sway Dean away from this ridiculous idea. Castiel blushed a bit and had to look away from Sam.

“It’s… Not an entirely bad idea. Dean has had worse ideas before.” Castiel said and Dean frowned.

“Hey! My ideas are always awesome.” Dean argued and Jack chuckled softly. Dean frowned. “What’s so funny kid?” Dean asked and Jack smiled.

“Well, now you have to learn how to control your powers, just like I had to control mine. I find that funny, because you are less patient and much more impulsive than me, Dean, so it will be quite funny to watch you train.” Jack said, without a filter as usual of course, and Sam couldn’t help but smirk. Dean rolled his eyes.

“I’ll be fine. Besides, I have the best teacher in the world don’t I?” Dean said and squeezed Cas’ shoulder. Cas smiled softly and nodded.

“Yes, I believe you do.” Castiel said as Dean began helping the angel to his bedroom to let him rest after that whole ordeal.

***

Dean’s idea wasn’t entirely bad, Cas thought as they walked through the hallways to his own room. And of course, the angel realised Dean’s true purpose quite quickly. Even though he had been possessed by someone with an angelic power supply, perhaps having one that he could control on his own would make him feel safer.

But all that didn’t mean Castiel wasn’t worried about this whole plan. What if Jack was right? Dean wasn’t nearly as patient, and a lot more impulsive. Who knows what could happen?

“Dean, you have to understand that you need to be very careful with this grace you have been given.” Castiel said as Dean sat him on the bed. Dean nodded.

“Yeah, I get it Cas.” Dean said, but didn’t meet the angel’s eyes. Instead, he began looking Cas over, making sure he was okay and wasn’t bleeding anywhere after flying across the room and down on the hard concrete floors. Castiel sighed and gently placed a hand on Dean’s arm.

“I know why you’re doing this. You are doing it because this new found power is making you feel safe. And Dean, I’m not saying that is wrong. I’m just saying that you need to be careful, and you need to listen to me. Actually, listen, this time.” Castiel said firmly and Dean looked up, meeting those icy blue eyes with his own bright green. Dean nodded and sat down beside Cas on the bed. So, serious talk then.

“I… I will be careful Cas. I promise. And you’ll teach me and… And I promise I’ll listen, okay? I’ll be a good student.” Dean said and smiled crookedly. Cas smiled back.

“I know you will, if you put your mind to it.” Castiel responded, his eyes still gazing back deeply into Dean’s. “The bit of grace inside you is very powerful, Dean. It’s the grace I had before I fell, it’s very strong, and the reason it exploded was that it didn’t want me to touch it, or for me to remove it or make it dormant again. It has found its place in you, and it wants to stay there. Right… There.” Castiel said and placed a hand over Dean’s heart. Dean blushed a bit and swallowed nervously.

“Yeah… It’s like a sleeping bear huh? Don’t disturb it sort of thing?” Dean asked and Cas smiled. 

“Yes, like a sleeping bear. Just like you.” Castiel teased a little and Dean smirked, remembering when he’d nearly shot Jack for waking him up too abruptly.

“Touché.” Dean said and Castiel frowned.

“I don’t speak french. I’m only versed in enochian, english and certain variations of-” Cas stopped as Dean put a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s just a saying, Cas. Nevermind.” Dean said and smiled at the angel. Castiel smiled once more and nodded.

“Alright then. Touché to you too.” Cas said and Dean chuckled fondly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading y'all :D  
> This was a fun one to write, I can't wait to continue from here next! :D
> 
> Rock on!


	5. Napkins.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Cas rests up, the brothers get to chatting in the kitchen. And then there's pizza, with complimentary napkins...

5\. Napkins.

Dean walked into the kitchen with a soft sigh, heading to the coffee machine because boy did he need a cup right now more than anything. He had left Cas to rest in his room, the dude actually looked exhausted, and Dean needed to see what they would have for lunch, and gather his thoughts.

“Hey.” Sam said, suddenly entering the kitchen and Dean couldn’t help but roll his eyes a little. Great. So much for gathering his thoughts, he thought to himself with a soft murmur.

“Hey. Cas is resting up. He looked a bit tired after you know, the whole grace explosion thing.” Dean murmured to his brother and Sam nodded, leaning back on the counter.

“Yeah I figured. Dean I… Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, it seems simple enough, Cas says some spell thing in enochian and you’ll be back to normal. Isn’t that... Better?” Sam asked and Dean forcefully pushed the ‘on’ button on the coffee maker before turning to his brother.

“Better? Do I think it’s better to lose actual angelic powers and just be a normal human being again, or do I think it’s better to actually learn how these powers work and be able to protect us? Yeah I think I’ll take the second option thanks Sammy.” Dean muttered and went to get his cup. Sam sighed.

“Look, I know you’re scared. I know you’re scared that Michael will come back and-” Sam stopped when Dean placed the cup down on the bench with a hard bang.

“Don’t. Don’t mention his name alright?” Dean nearly growled out at his brother. “Regardless if he… Comes back or not. This is a good thing. I mean, how bad can it be? It’s Cas’ grace. It’s not some douche archangel grace or demon blood. It’s Cas. It’s safe alright?” Dean said and walked to the fridge to get some milk for his coffee, even though he usually preferred it black. Sam sighed, trying not to get upset at the mentioning of the ‘demon blood’.

“Yeah, it’s Cas but, Dean, it has already controlled your body and made you say and do things that you didn’t even know you were doing. How is that safe?” Sam asked and Dean frowned. 

“Doing? Doing what? Cas said I talked some gibberish and that’s that. You make it sound like it was more than that.” Dean said and stopped by the coffee maker, looking up at his brother with a frown. Sam blushed a little and looked away. He had promised Cas not to tell Dean about what actually happened, so he wouldn’t, of course.

“Look, all I’m saying is that we don’t know really what this does to a person okay? Anytime either one of us has had grace inside of us, it has been because we’ve had an angel inside as well.” Sam said and Dean smirked.

“Kinky.” Dean said but then frowned a little to himself. Sam rolled his eyes.

“Now the grace is just… Free inside of you. What if it starts tearing you apart?” Sam said worriedly, his voice nearly breaking at the end of the sentence. Dean clenched his jaw, and then shrugged before filling his cup of coffee up halfway.

“Well then I say, let it have at me.” Dean said simply with open arms before grabbing the milk and filling his cup up the last of the way up. Sam frowned.

“You never drink your coffee with milk.” Sam noted and Dean frowned.

“Uh, I guess I just felt like it.” Dean said and shrugged. Sam tilted his head

“You know who does drink his coffee half half? Cas.” Sam said and Dean frowned with a huff. 

“Come on. You think I got his ‘coffee preferences’ through his grace? You’re acting ridiculous right now Sammy. Instead of thinking grace decides what type of coffee I’m having, order us some pizzas for lunch yeah?” Dean said and patted his brother’s shoulder with a shake of his head before heading out to the living area.

***

After eating copious amounts of pizza for lunch, Dean leaned back into his chair with a content sigh. He was getting worried about Cas though, but just as he’d had that thought, the angel walked through into the kitchen, looking much better than before.

“Hey Cas.” Sam smiled and Cas nodded.

“Hello Sam.” He replied simply and went to the coffee maker. Dean frowned, noting that Cas was only wearing his white shirt. That wasn’t really all that common to see him walking around the bunker with.

“Where’s your security blanket?” Dean teased curiously and Castiel frowned.

“I don’t have one- Oh… I was… Feeling warm.” Castiel said and stroke over the tight fabric of his shirt and then continued to prepare his coffee. Half half. Half coffee. Half milk. Sam smirked to himself and Dean looked flustered. Both by the coffee making and how tight that shirt looked on Cas...

“Uh, alright.” Dean said and looked down at his finished plate. “I’m sure there’s some pizza left if you’re hungry.” Dean offered and Jack frowned.

“No, there’s nothing left, you ate it all, Dean.” Jack said as a matter of factly and Cas couldn’t help but smile.

“It’s alright. I prefer bacon cheeseburgers over pizza anyway.” Castiel said and Sam looked at Dean with a raised eyebrow. Dean squirmed a bit in his seat. Hmm. IF, and that’s a big if. IF Dean was getting some of Cas’ traits, perhaps the angel was getting some of his? That was ridiculous though, that didn’t make any sense at all.

“So uh, when does the training start? You know, eye of the tiger, montage of me looking cool with my grace powers huh?” Dean said with a big smirk and Sam had to leave the table to keep himself from exploding from how lightly Dean was taking this. Castiel furrowed his brows cutely.

“I… Montage?” Castiel asked but then shook his head. “We can begin training… Right now, if you’d like.” Castiel said and Dean looked at him curiously, but his cocky smirk was replaced by some jittery nerves. 

“Oh… Like, now /now/?” Dean asked and Castiel looked up at him with a smile.

“Yes. Now.” Castiel said and pushed a stack of napkins towards Dean. “Make them fly off the table.” Castiel challenged. If Dean thought he was so in control, then Castiel wanted to see if he could do anything without being instructed. Dean let out a nervous ‘heh’ and squirmed a bit in his seat again before sitting up straight. Jack was watching him curiously as well, remembering when he had tried to learn how to float a pen up in the air himself.

“It’s simple, you just focus on-” Jack started but Cas held up his hand.

“No Jack, let him figure it out himself.” Castiel said and Jack nodded softly.

Dean cleared his throat and pulled up his sleeves, Sam looking at them from the other end of the kitchen.

“This can’t be that hard…” Dean murmured and held out his hand in a weird position that looked like he was either holding a doorknob or trying to fondle a boob. Castiel lowered his head and smirked just a little. Dean began focusing, his brows tightly knitted together and he was starting to breathe harder and faster. His eyes were locked onto the stack of napkins, and he was twisting his hand from left to right, before starting to gently snap it forward. As if throwing a baseball or something like that. 

“Dean-” Castiel started but Dean held up a finger at him.

“I’m almost there. Don’t interrupt me.” Dean said with a deep voice, his eyes never leaving the napkins. Sam moved closer, and huffed out a laugh.

“You look like you’re going to pop a blood vessel.” Sam said with a cheeky smirk and Dean sighed, dropping his hand and falling back into the chair.

“It didn’t work! Why not?” Dean questioned and looked at Cas, the frustration making him red in the face. Castiel leaned forwards slowly towards Dean and looked into his eyes.

“It’s not working, because I didn’t teach you /how/ to use the grace properly yet.” Castiel said softly and Dean’s red face concentrated on his cheeks as he began to blush. “I told you to be patient, didn’t I?” Castiel said with a more dominant tone in his voice, and tilted his head at Dean who looked flustered.

“Yeah… I just kinda figured that…” Dean mumbled and Sam laughed.

“What? That you would just be a natural at controlling a fireball of grace inside of you?” Sam muttered and Dean snapped, standing up from his chair.

“You’re not helping Sam! I’m trying to do this for us. US. Okay? Why is it so god damn hard for you to understand huh?!” Dean yelled, pushing back the chair and walking up to Sam with quick steps. Castiel stood up quickly and moved up behind Dean, placing a soft hand on his shoulder but was immediately shrugged off. “For once in our goddamn lives I can actually make a change, Sammy. I can finally be strong enough to protect us, to protect all of us and you think this is some kind of joke? This is /not/ a joke. This is serious, and I get that and so should you! Why not try being freaking supportive for once instead of just standing there with a smirk on your face? Wipe it off! It doesn’t suit you!” Dean yelled and Sam had to clench his jaw to not snap back at his brother. Dean was right, sort of, he was being a bit unfair perhaps… Sam thought to himself and looked down a bit. Castiel slid his hand back onto Dean’s shoulder, pulling him back a bit.

“Dean. I promise you that I will teach you everything I know about my grace, about how you can use it to protect us. I will teach you, and you will be strong enough to handle it. But, I do need you to calm down. Rage and grace doesn’t mix very well, Dean.” Castiel said softly, stroking Dean’s shoulder just a little. Dean swallowed hard and backed up a bit, feeling the soft brush of Cas’ other hand on his back. Sam nodded quietly.

“You’re… You’re right. I’m sorry Dean. If this is your final choice then… Then I’ll try to be more supportive and less critical. I promise.” Sam said sincerely with those puppy eyes he usually pulled up at his brother, and Dean nodded.

“Good.” Dean said simply and turned around to look at Cas. He saw the worried look in his eyes, and he rubbed his own neck a little as he peered into his eyes. “I’m sorry I wasn’t patient and let you explain things to me first.” Dean said, and Castiel was more than surprised to get an apology from the older brother. Cas smiled.

“It’s alright. You are eager, and that’s good. Eagerness is sometimes the best factor in learning something new. Like a musical instrument or a new language.” Castiel said and Dean shook his head fondly.

“You’re too good to me sometimes.” Dean murmured very quietly, meant for Castiel’s ears only since Sam had started walking out of the kitchen together with Jack. Castiel smiled and blushed just a little.

“You deserve a little good in your life, Dean. More than just sometimes.” Castiel said and then sighed softly.

“I think, we should call it a day and start tomorrow, yes?” Castiel said and Dean nodded absentmindedly, the words Castiel had just said echoing through his head. /You deserve a little good in your life, Dean./. Dean smiled to himself. It was such a sweet thing Cas had said, and he couldn’t remember last time someone had said something like that to him. Something so nice and… Encouraging. And soft, and-

“Dean? Are you listening to me?” Castiel asked and Dean quickly snapped out of his thoughts and smiled up at the angel with a soft nod.

“Yeah yeah, sorry. Yes, we’ll start tomorrow then.” Dean said and placed his own hand on Cas’ shoulder, squeezing it firmly in his strong hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was too eager to get on this so I just kinda wrote it and here we are!  
> I loved writing this, heartwrenching, but loving chapter. And I hope you love it too!
> 
> Rock on!


	6. Teddy bears and apples

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean needs to start his training, and Sam decides some alone time would be the best. Will Dean pass the tests that Cas has set up for him? Or will it end in tears...

6\. Teddy bears and apples

Dean was tossing and turning in his bed, not able to fall asleep. He felt almost like a buzzing inside of him, that didn’t really calm down no matter what he did. He flopped onto his back and exhaled in a dramatic sigh before groaning softly.

“God damnit... “ Dean muttered, only feeling more and more flustered no matter how hard he willed himself to calm down. It was the grace inside of him. He knew it. It must be. But he just wanted to sleep dammit! Tomorrow. They had agreed to try this tomorrow, not now. Not-

Dean stormed up out of bed and rushed to Cas’ bedroom, knocking on the door lightly even though he felt like banging on it. “Cas? Cas you in there?” Dean asked, his voice urgent and the angel opened the door at once, now, only wearing a gray t-shirt. Dean frowned. He had never seen Cas only in a t-shirt, had he? Not even when he was human…

“What’s wrong, Dean?” Cas asked softly, concern flickering over his face before he suddenly could feel it as well, Dean didn’t even have to respond to his question. “The grace, it’s vibrating inside of you.” Castiel said, his eyes flickering up and down Dean’s body. “Are you alright?” He asked and Dean shook his head.

“I just want to sleep Cas. And I can’t because my whole body feels jittery and I can’t calm it down. Do something!” Dean huffed and Cas gently pulled Dean into the bedroom, closing the door.

“Dean, I told you, rage and grace don’t mix well.” Castiel warned, his voice soothing yet firm. Dean blushed a bit and crossed his arms.

“Just… Can you make it calm down? Just a little bit? Just so I can get some rest?” Dean asked. “I don’t want you to put it in you know, full sleep mode, just, just soothe it.” Dean said and looked up at Cas with a soft gaze. Castiel nodded, moving up close into Dean’s personal space. Dean leaned back a little at first, but then his arms fell to his side and he just looked at Cas with tired eyes.

“Just, take a few deep breaths alright? I can’t soothe it unless you are calm as well, Dean.” Castiel explained and Dean took a few deep breaths as instructed, trying to shake the feeling off by physically shaking his arms and legs a bit. Castiel smiled. Even though Dean was flustered, the hunter looked quite stunning this evening. His hair was messy from tossing around on the bed, and his clothes were messy as well. Dean’s lips were wet and plump, and Castiel knew he must’ve been biting at them out of frustration from the lack of sleep. They were beautifully red as well, which also gave the biting away. Cas found himself licking his own lips as he looked over Dean, this was a precious moment, they were rarely alone like this together and he decided he wanted to take this opportunity in as much as possible.

“Uh, Cas?” Dean said suddenly, and Cas looked down, trying to snap out of it. He cleared his throat.

“Yes, Dean. I’m… I think you’re ready.” Castiel said, trying to look unaffected even though his grace was buzzing as well, but more under control of course. Dean nodded.

“What do I do?” Dean asked and Castiel smiled.

“You don’t have to do anything, just stand still.” Cas said and moved up closer. He gently moved one hand behind Dean’s back, pressing it against it, feeling Dean’s taught back muscles against his palm. Castiel closed his eyes for a moment, before placing the other hand over Dean’s heart, and exhaled slowly. Dean watched him curiously, not sure if this was even working until- A rush of calm washed over him, and his eyes closed even though he didn’t mean for them to. God, what was that? Dean couldn’t help it, and he let out a trembling moan that made one of Cas’ eyebrows raise curiously, and contently. Dean was relaxing underneath his fingertips. He could feel it. He could also feel, that Dean was getting heavier against the palm over his heart, until he realised the hunter was almost falling into his arms.

“Dean…” Cas murmured softly, rubbing the hand on Dean’s back up and down. “You have to stand up straight now.” Cas said and Dean opened his eyes but only half-way.

“Huh?” Dean murmured, not even aware he was falling into Cas’ arms. Castiel smiled, helping Dean stand up straight before breaking the bond of his hands, holding Dean up by his shoulders.

“Are you alright?” Castiel asked, his own heart beating fast even though Dean’s were much calmer now. Dean nodded, and smiled crookedly.

“Yeah yeah just… I got very sleepy all of the sudden…” Dean murmured and Castiel nodded.

“Then, it worked.” Castiel said and gently lead Dean to the door. “Good night Dean, sleep well.” Cas said as he smiled at the hunter one last time, before closing the door to his bedroom.

***

Dean could barely remember last time he had slept this good. No nightmares. No seizures. No nothing. Just peaceful sleep. Even Sam was surprised that they were all in the kitchen, and no Dean to be found. Lately Dean had almost been the first to be up, just to escape the bed and his troubled mind. Castiel was standing by the coffee machine, preparing his coffee with a big smile on his face. Sam frowned, but was smiling as well.

“Uh… Cas? Do you know where Dean is?” Sam asked, trying to sound casual and Castiel just turned to him with a smile.

“Sleeping. Very deeply.” Castiel said and when he saw the worried look on Sam’s face he realised that his choice of words could’ve been better. “I mean- The grace was giving him a bit of trouble last night. But, I soothed it and as a result, I believe Dean has had a very restful sleep.” Castiel explained and Sam calmed down a little and his smile came back to his face.

“Yeah? Well, that’s good then.” Sam smiled and looked over at Jack who was smiling as well.

“Usually Dean is up early and he’s very grumpy.” Jack noted and Cas chuckled a little.

“Yes, that is true. But not this morning, Jack.” Cas said and sipped his coffee, leaning against the counter. 

A few minutes later, Dean stumbled into the kitchen with a lazy grin on his face. Sam snorted at the sight.

“Sleep well?” Sam asked and Dean gave two thumbs up.

“Awesome.” Dean said and then turned to Cas, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Whatever you did man, it was awesome.” Dean said drunkenly from sleep and Cas blushed a little.

“I did as you asked, Dean. I soothed your grace. Here.” Castiel said, handing Dean the coffee he had just prepared for himself, having noted Dean’s change in habit from the coffee yesterday.

“Thanks.” Dean grinned and took the coffee and took a big sip, looking happier than he had in a long time. Jack noticed this too, and he had learned that, if someone was in a better mood, it was usually easier to get something you really wanted from them.

“Dean? Do you think you can teach me how to play that card game later that you talked about before? The ‘go fish’ one?” Jack asked eagerly and Dean smiled.

“Sure thing kiddo.” Dean said and sat down by the table. Jack grinned and looked down at his sandwich before taking a big bite. He had wanted to ask such a simple thing from Dean for a long time, but he had always been too upset, angry, or tired for Jack to even think of trying. Sam smiled at how easily Dean had said yes, and he felt like this would be a good day.

“Are you guys going to train today?” Sam asked and Castiel nodded.

“Yes, that is the plan.” Cas said and smiled at Dean who nodded back. Sam nodded.

“Great, I’ll take Jack out to buy some clothes while you guys… Train.” Sam said teasingly and Castiel frowned, tilting his head at the way Sam had said those words. But, perhaps less of a crowd would make training easier, so Castiel just decided to nod and not question the younger brother’s words.

“Alright. That sounds like a nice day out for Jack.” Castiel agreed fatherly, before turning to Dean. “Finish your coffee Dean, we’ll start as soon as you’re ready.” Cas said with a nod before leaning back in his chair, much like Dean usually did.

***

After Sam and Jack had left for the closest mall to the bunker, Dean and Cas headed to the large map table where Castiel had set up a few things. A stack of papers, much like the napkins from yesterday, a pen, an apple, and lastly, a large stuffed teddy bear dressed like a bee. Dean raised an eyebrow. 

“Uh… Okay. This looks like a mad man’s line-up Cas, not to be rude or anything.” Dean murmured and Cas rolled his eyes with a sigh.

“I will explain all of this to you, Dean.” Castiel said and looked from Dean back to the table. “The papers are your first challenge, it is not a singular item, and any sort of movement of the pile will be your goal. The pen is a smaller object, but only one object nonetheless which will require a certain amount of concentration to move it. The apple is larger, and your task is to move it towards you and hold it so steady that you can take a bite out of it. And the teddy bear, well, it’s the largest item I could find that was not too heavy nor dangerous. Since it’s quite soft.” Castiel explained methodically and Dean had nodded after every description.

“Alright, I get it.” Dean said and nodded once more, placing his hands on his hips. “Okay so how do I tap into my grace supply then?” Dean said and looked at Cas curiously. Cas smiled. He was very relieved that Dean had had a good night’s sleep, and that he was in such a surprisingly good mood. The angel walked up beside Dean, and looked at him softly.

“I will give you some support at first.” Castiel said and slowly slid his hand up Dean’s back. He knew the grace would still be in a calm state, so he needed to ‘wake it up’ slightly, so to speak. He rubbed his fingertips against Dean’s back, and even he could feel the tingle as the grace sparked up a bit. “Can you feel that?” Castiel asked and Dean nodded quickly, his cheeks slightly red from the touch and the tingly feeling.

“Uh, yeah, yeah I can.” Dean said and glanced at Cas softly. Cas nodded.

“Good. In the beginning, we will do this with your hand stretched out to the object you are trying to control, that will help you guide the power.” Cas said and nudged Dean’s arm with his free hand so Dean would extend it towards the papers. Dean sighed a little and rolled his eyes.

“Ya know, I thought angels used their grace for cool stuff like smiting and stuff. When do we get to that? I want to smite some bitches!” Dean said with a huge grin on his face and Cas’ eyes narrowed angrily.

“Dean. There will be no smiting, until you have your powers under control.” Castiel said firmly and Dean’s grin fell a little and he rolled his eyes.

“Alright fine…” Dean muttered and focused back on the stack of papers. Cas positioned himself a bit better, and looked towards the papers as well.

“I will guide the grace through you now, so just try to take note of how it feels and how it travels through you, Dean.” Castiel said and watched the stack of papers intensely. Dean couldn’t help but feel a bit nervous suddenly, his heart skipping a beat or two as he felt something bubble up inside of him. It almost felt like that feeling you get when you drop down a steep hill on a rollercoaster, or when you win a huge freaking teddy bear with bee wings. Yeah, that’s definitely how it felt. The teddy had been so ridiculous when Dean had won it, but he had instantly thought that he would gift it to Cas. He had been eager to take it home, and he had thought of it more as a joke but when he saw how Cas’ face lit up at the stupid thing his heart went so warm and he was sure it swelled a couple of sizes and-

Suddenly, the teddy bear flew up from the table and towards them, smacking Cas right in the face.

“Dean!” Cas shouted and fell to the floor, and Dean covered his mouth as he tried not to laugh at the sight of Cas practically being assaulted by a large bee-teddy bear. That worked for about three seconds before Dean bent over forwards and started laughing his ass off, grabbing himself around his stomach. Cas spluttered from having his mouth full of teddy fur, and tossed the bear to the side and sat up, looking at Dean who was laughing so hard he was crying. Castiel couldn’t be mad, and he soon began to smile and then laugh as well. They laughed for at least a couple of minutes, before they both calmed down and Dean helped Cas stand up from the floor.

“I take it that your focus was on the teddy bear instead of the stack of papers, correct?” Castiel said with a smirk and a raised eyebrow and Dean nodded, still wiping at his eyes from the laughing session they’d just had together.

“Yeah- Yeah I just couldn’t stop thinking about when I won it and took it home to you and- and how happy you looked and-” Dean stopped, clearing his throat and blushing deeply. Cas grinned now and shook his head fondly with a soft laugh.

“Well then, I supposed you passed the final test already.” Castiel said and laughed together with Dean once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my CHUCK I had so much fun writing this!  
> I hope you like it too!
> 
> Rock on! <3


	7. ‘Go fish’

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Jack returns from their little trip to the mall, bearing gifts, and Cas and Dean are not sure sure about Sam's choice...  
> A rather calm evening at the bunker, might be just what our boys need...

7\. ‘Go fish’

Sam came down the stairs to the bunker, carrying some bags and Jack behind him carrying some as well.

“Sam! Sam- Sam hey look what I can do!!” Dean exclaimed eagerly and Cas came walking behind him with firm steps.

“Dean- Dean that’s enough! I-” Cas grumbled but soon a half eaten apple flew through the air and into Cas’ mouth. He took a reluctant bite and then spit the apple out, and Dean grinned wickedly. Cas rolled his eyes.

“The point was for /you/ to guide the apple to /your/ mouth and for /you/ to take a bite out of it.” Cas said irritably. “Not me.” He added and Dean smiled.

“Well, it’s much more hilarious to make you eat it, rather than me. Besides, I hate apples. Unless they are in pie. Love me some pie.” Dean said eagerly with a lick over his lips. Sam rolled his eyes a little, but was glad to see Dean having mastered his powers so quickly.

“So, it went well then?” Sam asked, mostly to Cas and Cas nodded.

“Yes, Dean is a surprisingly quick learner.” Castiel said reluctantly, trying to wipe his mouth from all the apple residue. “You wouldn’t think that at first glance.” Castiel teased and Dean frowned.

“Hey, don’t make me plug that mouth with that apple again.” Dean threatened but all in good nature, of course. Cas rolled his eyes and Sam snorted softly.

“Alright you two, stop fighting like an old married couple.” Sam said and Dean frowned, blushing a little.

“We’re not fighting like an old- What did you get at the store?” Dean said quickly to change the topic of the conversation, starting to curiously tug at the bags. Sam quickly took the bags from him and sighed.

“Don’t go rummaging around through my stuff okay?” Sam grumbled and Dean stepped back and held up his hands.

“Okay there grumpy. So what you’re saying is you got me nothing? Isn’t that a bit rude?” Dean said and Sam opened a second bag, looking through it before handing it to Dean.

“Here, this is yours.” Sam said and Jack beamed. 

“I picked out some of the items. And here, this is for you Castiel.” Jack said and handed a bag to Cas. Cas blushed a little and smiled softly at Jack.

“You… You picked this out for me as well?” Castiel asked and Jack nodded with a bright smile. “Thank you Jack, this is very nice of you.” Cas said and peeked into the bag.

Though, a frown soon spread across his face, mimicking the one Dean was sporting right now as well. Sam was smirking though, crossing his arms.

“A… White shirt?” Dean said, pulling up a plain white shirt that was much like the one Cas’ usually wore.

“An… AC/DC t-shirt?” Castiel questioned, pulling it up from his own bag. Sam nodded.

“Well since you’ve adapted each other’s manners, why not your clothing styles as well.” Sam said with a wide smirk. Jack didn’t quite understand what Sam was doing, Jack had merely picked things he thought Castiel and Dean would enjoy. But Sam apparently had another motive. Dean rolled his eyes.

“Would you stop with that? We have not adapted anything from each other okay? We’ve just simply-” Dean stopped as he watched Cas pull the AC/DC shirt over the gray one he was already wearing. He held out his hands for Dean and smiled softly.

“Well? How do I look?” Cas asked and Dean felt a flutter in his belly and a lump get stuck in his throat. Dean’s cheeks heated up and Sam looked at him with a proud smirk.

“You look great Cas.” Sam filled in for Dean who nodded a little in agreement.

“Suits you well.” Jack said and Castiel smiled.

“Good, it’s quite comfortable.” Cas said and looked back at Dean, who still seemed to be at a loss for words. “Dean?” Cas asked, walking up to him and Dean took a quick step back.

“Uh, yeah, you look great Cas. It really shows your uh, your, muscles, I uh, I need to go to the bathroom.” Dean stumbled on his words, looking down at the floor before excusing himself quickly and rushing off with the bag. Castiel frowned and looked up at Sam.

“Did I do something wrong?” Cas asked and Sam shook his head, placing a hand on Cas’ shoulder.

“Nah, not a thing Cas. Dean just thought you looked really really good.” Sam said and Cas frowned deeper.

“It didn’t seem like it.” Cas said and Sam shrugged.

“Sometimes things are not always as they seem, Cas.” Sam replied before taking his bags and headed to his own bedroom, Jack following behind.

***

Stupid Cas in his stupid shirt. Stupid. Dean thought to himself, his grace buzzing more prominently inside as he washed his hands and his face in the bathroom. Cas looked so… Good, in that shirt. Why did he think Cas looked good? It wasn’t really a secret that he looked… Nice. It wasn’t like, any demon or- or witch or- or angel they came across didn’t think the same? Dean sighed and dried his hands off, opening the door and flinched as Cas was just standing there.

“Cas what the hell!?” Dean exclaimed, gripping the side of the doorframe and Castiel was already frowning.

“Your grace it’s- It’s… Frantic. Are you alright?” Cas asked and Dean sighed. 

“Yeah, yeah I’m good. Sorry. You… You look great in that shirt Cas.” Dean said and smiled a little, reaching forwards to correct it a bit around the collar. “You look like a real rocker dude.” Dean smirked and Cas smiled proudly.

“I’m glad you like it, Dean. It will probably fit better once I remove the t-shirt I have on underneath. I don’t think it’s usual for someone to have two t-shirts on at a time.” Castiel said and Dean shook his head with a chuckle.

“Nah. Usually one t-shirt at a time is enough.” Dean said and his grace slowly stilled inside of him. “So uh… You can feel everything I’m feeling now all of the sudden?” Dean asked Cas curiously and Cas shook his head.

“Don’t worry Dean, I can’t. But when you experience strong emotions, like rage, or bliss, yes, I can feel it too.” Castiel said and looked up at Dean softly. Dean smiled a little.

“So when we had that laughing fit earlier, you could feel that I was… Blissful?” Dean asked and Castiel smiled even softer with another nod.

“Yes, I could feel that. It was… Remarkable.” Castiel said, feeling how the two t-shirts suddenly felt very warm and tight around his body as he stood so close to Dean and casually talked about emotions. Something Dean didn’t do very often at all. Dean gently corrected his own shirt and ran a hand through his hair.

“I should probably get to making dinner. I’m making hamburgers this evening, since you said you like ‘em.” Dean said with a smile and Cas chuckled.

“Yes, I do like them. Especially your recipe, Dean.” Cas said and then left Dean and headed to his room to let him prepare for dinner in his own time.

***

Dean had practically thrown Sam and Jack out of the kitchen as they tried to butt in with his cooking.

“I’m the chef, and I say get out!” Dean had snapped eventually when Sam had tried to tell him what to do. Sam had tried to argue that he didn’t need to use that much oil, and that they needed more vegetables, but he had been shut down pretty quickly and his requests had been ignored. Jack frowned.

“I just want to help, Dean.” Jack argued and Dean shook his head.

“Sorry kid, you can help Sam when it’s rabbit food night or something.” Dean murmured, getting an angry glare from Sam in the process.

Once the kitchen finally was empty, Dean could focus a lot better and started frying up the burgers. He sighed as he heard footsteps walking into the room.

“Sam, no more vegetables I-” Dean began but stopped when he saw it was Cas, now wearing only the AC/DC shirt, some sweatpants and his hair a bit tussled.

“Hello Dean, do you need any help?” Cas asked and Dean was frozen in place, practically staring at the angel. Stupid shirt on that stupid angel. Castiel tilted his head, and then looked down at the hamburger that had begun smoking. “Dean, I think the meat is burning.” Castiel said and Dean quickly swallowed.

“I uh, what?” Dean said and finally looked back down at the stove, swallowing thickly with a shy smile. “Oh, heh, that’s not good…” He murmured quickly and flipped over the burger, noticing that it was indeed burnt and tossed it to the side before placing a new one on the grill. “Yeah… Yeah you can help.” Dean said quickly as he glanced to the side at Cas. Castiel nodded and walked up to Dean’s side. Castiel noticed the slight tinge of pink on Dean’s cheeks, and he couldn’t help but smile. Dean was blushing quite a lot lately, and Castiel… Well, he adored it. He wished he could tell Dean he did, more than anything but… No, it was probably best not to.

“What do you need me to do?” Cas asked and looked down at the grill. Dean smiled.

“You can uh, prepared the burger buns. They need to be toasted a bit on the grill, each side. Top and bottom.” Dean said and handed Cas the burger bun package. Cas nodded and took the plastic bag and took out the buns, separating them and placing them on the grill. This was nice. Castiel thoroughly enjoyed helping Dean with such a mundane task. It made him feel closer to the hunter. A few seconds later, Castiel raised the bun from the grill and held it up to Dean.

“Is this adequate?” Cas asked and Dean looked up, inspecting the bun before nodding softly.

“Yeah, it’s perfect. Just finish all of them off that way and we’re good.” Dean smiled and flipped the two burger patties on the grill.

Jack suddenly peeked into the kitchen and frowned.

“Why does Castiel get to help but I don’t?” Jack said, disappointment clear in his voice. “Don’t… Don’t you trust me?” Jack said and his lip wobbled slightly. Dean looked at the boy and felt instantly guilty, and Castiel’s puppy eyes didn’t help either. Dean sighed.

“Sure I trust you, it’s just… Boring, ya know? Prepping vegetables. But… Sure, you can help out, come here.” Dean said a bit hesitant and waved Jack close. Jack’s frown shifted into a hesitant smile and he walked up to Dean quickly. “Okay, knife, sharp. Don’t hurt yourself.” Dean said and handed Jack a knife.

“I know what a knife is, Dean.” Jack said with a soft sigh. Dean nodded.

“Well, good. But still, be careful alright? Here’s the cutting board, here’s some salad and tomato. Salad needs to be finely chopped and the tomatoes cut into slices. Think you can manage that?” Dean said and Jack looked down at the knife, cutting board, and the vegetables. Jack nodded with a determined frown.

“Yes. Yes I can.” Jack said firmly and then grabbed the salad, starting to chop it slowly and carefully. Dean shook his head with a sigh, but suddenly looked up as he felt a hand press against his back. It was Cas’ hand, and he gently felt the grace inside of him tingling again. Cas was smiling, and he could feel how proud Castiel was through the grace. Dean’s face heated up even more, and his eyes were staring into Cas’, getting lost in them as he felt the wonderful stir of grace inside of him. 

“Dean. Dean your burgers are burning. Dean. Dean!” Jack said urgently and Dean quickly snapped out of it as Cas retrieved his hand, a slightly smug smile on the angels face.

“God damnit! See this is what happens when I let you two help me!” Dean grumbled and tossed the next two burnt patties to the side. Jack frowned sadly, but saw Cas smiling at him, so he knew it was okay. Jack smiled back then, and continued to cut the salad, and slice the tomatoes.

***

Eventually, dinner was done and the smell was delicious and the plate was full of burgers and stood in the middle of the kitchen table. Even though there was some casualties, there were probably more burgers prepared than anyone should actually consume.

Castiel had been smiling to himself the rest of the cooking session, realising he could tap into Dean’s grace and do more, /convey/ more than he had ever expected at first. Dean had felt his proudness through the grace bond. Because that was almost what it was, wasn’t it? A bond, linking the two of them together. It was quite flattering in a way, Castiel couldn’t imagine being bonded to a better human than Dean Winchester. 

“Cas? Cas? Hey, buddy,” Sam said, waving a hand in front of Castiel’s face as he held a stack of plates, just… Thinking. Sam smiled as Castiel finally looked up at him, frowning softly.

“Yes? Sam? Something wrong?” Castiel asked and Sam shook his head with a chuckle.

“No, just, we kinda need those plates.” Sam said and nodded to the ones Cas was holding and Cas looked down, blushing a bit.

“Oh, yes, naturally. We need plates to eat off of.” Castiel said as a matter of factly and began walking to the table, putting a plate each on everyone’s spot.

On the other side of the kitchen by the fridge, Dean seemed to be equally lost in his thoughts, just staring into the fridge. He had gone there to fetch the ketchup and mustard, but had stopped as he started thinking about how it had felt. Cas’ hand on his back, moving… Touching his grace, or whatever he was doing. It was almost like they could feel each other. Like… Like a weird bond or something. Dean sighed in thought. It had felt amazing… Truly amazing…

“Dean? Dean? Jesus Christ… Dean!” Sam muttered and then raised his voice, pulling at the fridge door. “The ketchup isn’t going to get itself, what’s up with you two?” Sam said as he reached in front of Dean and grabbed the ketchup and mustard from the fridge shelf. Dean flinched a bit but smiled quickly.

“Yeah, nothing, I mean, we’re fine. I’m fine.” Dean said quickly and smiled up at Sam, closing the fridge door. Sam sighed and shook his head with a smile.

“You two are ridiculous…” Sam murmured quietly and Dean frowned.

“What was that? Hey-” Dean hurried towards the kitchen table together with Sam. Dean slowed and sat down, deciding to sit beside Cas because Sam was being a little bitch, obviously. He reached for the stack of burgers, and handed one to Cas first. “Here ya go.” Dean smiled and Cas took the burger with a nod and a smile.

“Thank you, Dean. How polite of you.” Cas said, surprised, since Dean usually just dug into the food as quickly as possible. Dean practically preened at the praise, and grabbed another burger for himself and took a large bite.

***

“Ugh… I’ve never been this full in my life.” Dean groaned as he leaned back into his chair, the food coma very real. Sam smirked.

“Well, you ate more burgers than anyone should, so, I think that’s on you, Dean.” Sam said and stood up. “I’ll take care of the dishes, you can thank me later.” Sam murmured and began cleaning off the table. Dean’s head hung limply over the back of the chair, and he was really and truly satisfied with their meal. Cas smiled over at Dean, shaking his head fondly.

“I’ve never seen a man eat such a huge amount of food before.” Cas said and looked at Dean with a smirk. “You have a large appetite. Larger than usual.” Cas said and Dean tilted his head up.

“Must be the grace. Maybe it needs more fuel ya know?” Dean said and Cas chuckled.

“Perhaps. I did have a craving for burgers when famine rolled into that town, so perhaps it’s a reminance of that.” Castiel said as a matter of factly and Dean nodded. 

“No more training tonight alright? I think I might puke then.” Dean chuckled and Castiel shook his head.

“No more training tonight. I’m all filled up on apples.” Castiel commented and Dean chuckled heartily at that. Castiel smiled and stood up, placing a gentle hand on Dean’s shoulder. Dean looked up at him and smiled. “I believe you owe Jack a game of cards?” Castiel said, his voice low and slightly dominant. Dean blushed, suddenly remembering his promise.

“Uh, yeah yeah, of course. I should get on that, right now.” Dean said and stood up quickly from his chair. Castiel smiled and nodded.

“Good. He’ll enjoy that. I’ll make you some coffee in the meantime.” Castiel said softly and squeezed Dean’s shoulder before heading to the coffee machine.

***

“You can’t say go fish every time Jack.” Dean muttered and rubbed his forehead in frustration. “You have to look at your cards and play your hand right. Let me start from the beginning once again.” Dean said tiredly, two cups of coffee later and one and a half hour later, explaining such a simple card game turned out not to be all that simple. Castiel brought in a third cup of coffee with a smile, sitting down beside Dean.

“He will understand eventually, just be patient, Dean.” Castiel said softly, smiling encouragingly at Jack. Sam was sitting in one of the comfier chairs, doing some sort of research as usual. But this time, the research was about grace, he was curious and wanted to know more. For Dean’s sake. Curious, and worried. Dean nodded up at Cas and smiled at him a little.

“Yeah I know, I am, well, trying to be heh.” Dean said and dealt out the cards once again before going through the rules from the top.

Castiel listened as well, humming softly to himself as Dean explained the trivial game. It really was quite simple, and he frowned to himself and looked at Jack. How come he wasn’t understanding it? The rules were very simple, and Jack was very smart. Cas suddenly saw a soft smile from Jack as he once again made a wrong move, and finally understood what was happening. Jack was playing wrong on purpose, just so he could spend a bit more time with Dean. Castiel shook his head fondly. Even though Jack had formed a wonderful relationship with Sam, it seemed he was still seeking the approval of Dean. It meant a lot to the boy, and Castiel knew all to well why, since he had been in that seat himself more than once.

Castiel shot Jack a knowing look and a soft nod, telling him silently that perhaps it’s time to give in or Dean would turn quite angry, and Jack understood, and finally played his hand right. Dean’s eyes widened, and he grinned.

“You- Yeah that’s right! Hey hey hey! Great job!” Dean said eagerly and smacked Jack playfully on the shoulder. “By God I think he’s got it.” Dean smirked at Cas. “Who’s the best teacher huh? Me. I’m the best. And the best student no matter what you say.” Dean said cheekily and wave his cards in front of Cas’ face teasingly. Cas rolled his eyes a little, before narrowing them at Dean.

“Is that how you should talk to your own teacher?” Cas asked with that certain tone in his voice and Dean’s grin fell and he squirmed a bit in his seat.

“Uh… No, of course not. Just playing around geez…” Dean muttered and focused his attention to Jack instead, finishing up the game. “Alright, bedtime. According to Sam.” Dean said and nodded to the younger brother. Sam sighed.

“I think we could all agree about the bedtime, Dean.” Sam said and walked up to the table. Dean frowned.

“Hell no. Bedtimes suck. We’ve never had one and we turned out alright.” Dean smirked up at Sam and Sam had to bite his lip not to say anything back at that.

“Alright, well, I say bedtimes are a good thing, and Jack, it’s for your own good. You’re a human now, you need your rest.” Sam said and Jack stood up and nodded.

“Good night Dean, thank you for teaching me how to play ‘go fish’.” Jack smiled and Dean smiled up at him.

“Hey no worries okay? You did good.” Dean said and Jack nodded, hesitated for a moment before going to Dean and hugging him awkwardly. Dean blushed a little, and Cas looked at the two of them proudly. Dean smiled and wrapped his arms gently around Jack, patting his back. “Alright, alright there we go, good night kid.” Dean said and let go and Jack headed off with a smile to his bedroom. Sam left as well, a book about grace still in his hands.

“I’m turning in too.” Sam said and yawned a little as he headed to his bedroom as well.

Dean sighed, sipping his coffee, kind of wishing it was beer but Cas made a good cup of coffee so he didn’t complain much.

“I’m proud of you for being so good with Jack this evening.” Castiel suddenly said, breaking the silence between them. “All he wants is to be closer to you, Dean. Your approval. You do realise that, right?” Cas said and tilted his head at the hunter. Dean shrugged.

“I mean… Yeah I guess. But I don’t see why. Why on earth would he want /my/ approval? I’m no one special. I’m just a hunter.” Dean shrugged and sipped his coffee. Cas frowned. He couldn’t believe how Dean was thinking of himself, and he shifted in his chair to face Dean fully.

“Dean, you must be blind if you can’t see why Jack looks up to you. You’re not /just/ a hunter. You are one of the strongest, quickest, most clever hunter in the world. And you’re not only a hunter. You’re a kind hearted man, someone that follows his heart’s will even if it sometimes isn’t the best choice at all. Of course Jack would look up to you. And now, when he sees you controlling your grace so effortlessly, you are even more special to him. Dean, I don’t ever want to hear you talk yourself down like that, do you understand me?” Castiel said and looked at Dean firmly but lovingly.

Dean was looking at Cas with a surprised expression. Sure, Castiel had… Praised him before, said nice things to him but… Never quite like this, never during just a quiet moment at the bunker and not a pressured life or death moment. Dean nodded, putting his cup down.

“Alright. I understand.” Dean said and smiled crookedly at Cas. “And you’re one hell of an angel, you know that right? I mean this grace it’s… Your grace it’s… Something special.” Dean said, not really as good with the compliments as Cas was but it didn’t matter. He just needed to say it. “We’ve both made some mistakes in our lives, some worse than others but, we’ve always come out on top haven’t we?” Dean smiled softer and Cas smiled back with a nod.

“Yes. Yes we have.” Castiel agreed and looked down at his lap and smiled to himself. “And my grace… It never was this special until I saved you from hell. It was almost like… A piece of my grace was completed when I had saved you. It was… extraordinary. I’ll never forget it.” Cas said and right now, when he looked at Dean, he craved to touch him.

Just his hands, perhaps cup his cheek, just wanting to feel Dean’s skin against his own. Just a light touch, would that be so horrible? Maybe Dean would hate him for it, and he would never forgive himself for that. But before he had finished that thought, he felt Dean’s warm hand gently lay on top of his own, and he looked up at the hunter’s shy expression.

“Well I’m glad I complete you, because I think you complete me just the same.” Dean said, and even though he could hear how cheesy it sounded, he couldn’t care less. His grace started tingling again, nice and warm, as if rewarding him for opening up to Castiel. He knew what he had just said, was mostly something couples said. Lovers. Words that lovers would say to each other just before a kiss or some kind of intimate moment. But Dean just couldn’t realise it himself. Not yet, at least. Castiel smiled at that and nodded, placing his other hand on top of Dean’s, holding it between his own.

“I’m glad I took the mission then, I knew it was the right decision, going after you, even though I was terrified. No angel wants to go to hell, not by choice.” Castiel said softly and gripped Dean’s hand tighter. “But I’m glad I did.” Cas said and smiled gently up at Dean. The grace was now buzzing freely between the both of them, and Castiel had to close his eyes for a moment and let out a soft hum of relief. It was wonderful, the feeling of their hands pressing against each other. Warm, slightly hesitant from Dean’s side, but he didn’t pull away, not this time.

They sat quietly there for a good while before turning in for the night, neither of them knowing what to say, both of them just as stupid and worried that they would somehow ruin what they already had. Quiet wasn’t necessarily bad, though, and Castiel decided that this was the most wonderful silence he had ever experienced in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was a bit of a longer chapter with some big moments for our boys, but overall it's quite a calm domestic kind of chapter.  
> I hope you like it still, and that you are ready for some type of action in the next one ;)
> 
> Rock on!


	8. Just like this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (It's hard to make a summary for this chapter without spoiling stuff so... Here it is!)

8\. Just like this.

Dean shifted around in his bed, unable to settle down. It had been… A lot. Between training with the grace and Cas practically wearing his clothes and then Jack… It had all been quite overwhelming, and Dean’s body was tense and it was hard for him to relax.

“Come on, come on, give me a break…” Dean murmured when he felt a soft tingle inside of him, sighing deeply. Maybe it was also the fact that Cas had just delivered cup after cup of coffee to him to keep him distracted while playing cards with Jack, that didn’t make it any easier to fall asleep at least.

In the other bedroom down the hall, Castiel was having the same issues. Not that he really slept of course but, he found himself unable to make his body rest at least. He thought about Dean, how proud he was of him for managing the grace all on his own, and how talented of a cook he was. He smiled to himself. He was also happy he had gotten to help, and that Dean had opened up to Jack so well. Cas sighed fondly to himself. To him, it didn’t matter if he had a hard time resting, because his mind was only occupied with beautiful things.

His thoughts were interrupted though, at the sound of someone knocking on the door, and Dean’s voice softly following, saying Cas’ name quietly.

“Come in Dean.” Cas said and sat up a bit, scooting up on the bed. Dean slowly opened the door, looking down a bit.

“I uh… I’m having trouble sleeping. I thought perhaps you could uh… Work that mojo on me again? Calm the grace you know?” Dean said and moved up to the bed and sat down on the edge of it. Cas frowned a bit, but nodded.

“Of course…” He said, and placed a hand on Dean’s back. His frown only got deeper then and he looked up at Dean curiously. “Dean… I don’t think the grace is the issue right now. It’s perfectly calm.” Castiel said and sat up a bit more. Dean sighed.

“Ah great. Dammit.” Dean muttered and Cas sighed.

“Sometimes, we just have difficulties sleeping, grace or not.” Cas offered in a supportive manner, smiling at the hunter. Dean snorted softly.

“And I’m sure you know all about that huh?” Dean said and shifted a bit on the bed. He didn’t really feel like leaving, Cas’ bedroom felt a lot more calm than his own. Castiel smiled.

“Do you want to stay here? I don’t mind if you’d like to sleep here tonight, Dean.” Cas said and Dean’s eyes widened quickly.

“W-What? No! I mean- Why would I- I don’t share beds I-” Dean stuttered, the blush returning to his cheek. That didn’t make much sense, because he had already shared a bed with Cas hadn’t he? Castiel waited patiently, and soon Dean looked up at him a bit softer. “I think I’d like that…” He finally admitted to himself, and Cas, and Castiel smiled wider, scooting to the side in the bed to make room.

“There’s plenty of room.” Castiel said and flipped the covers over so Dean could climb inside. Dean hesitated for a moment, before he nodded.

“What the heck then…” He muttered and crawled into the bed beside Cas, laying stiffly and gently shifting his eyes to the side to look at the angel beside him. Castiel couldn’t help but sigh fondly.

“Are you going to lay there stiff as a plank? I’m sure that’s how the saying goes.” Castiel teased and Dean muttered something before shifting around a bit to a more relaxed position.

“There, happy?” Dean murmured and Castiel nodded.

“Very.” Cas said sincerely and smiled up at Dean. If something had been missing when Castiel laid in bed and thought about their day, it was definitely this. Dean had been missing, and now he was right beside him, looking flustered of course, but still. He was right there. Castiel’s heart warmed greatly, and a soft smile spread across his lips once more.

“Hey, I can feel that ya know?” Dean said with a crooked, cheeky smile and it was Cas’ turn to blush. Oh. Right. His grace. Their… Bond. Cas cleared his throat, his turn to shift awkwardly in the bed.

“I apologize. I didn’t mean to give you any discomfort.” Castiel said and bit his lip a little. Dean shrugged.

“Nah, it actually feels kinda nice.” Dean admitted and turned to his side to face Cas fully. “Not a word of this to Sam alright?” Dean said suddenly, pointing between the two of them. Cas smiled.

“Not a word. Promise.” Castiel said, and soon enough, they both fell asleep.

***

Dean grunted a bit as he started waking up, rubbing his face against something warm.

“Mmm…” Dean hummed, yawning a little before squeezing closer to the pillow. Until, he realised, the pillow wasn’t very soft. And the pillow was moving up and down. Dean’s eyes nearly shot open, and he realised he was pressed against Cas’ chest, and he looked up at the angel quickly to see if he was awake. When he realised Cas seemed oblivious, he tried to slowly squirm away, but quickly realised also, that Cas’ arm was wrapped strongly around his upper body, holding him close. “Dammit…” Dean breathed quietly, his cheeks heating up again. “Cas? Hey, uh, buddy? Cas-” Dean whispered, nudging him a little. But the nudging only made Cas frown, and he gripped Dean tighter and pushed him closer against his chest. Dean let out a soft grunt, rolling his eyes a little. 

Though, he had to admit, this wasn’t too bad really…. Cas was soft, yet… Firm. And he was warm. And Dean would be damned if he could remember last time he was held quite like this. It felt safe. Very safe. And… Kinda awesome. Was it weird that it felt awesome? It was weird right? It was Cas after all so it had to be weird. He’s an angel and angels don’t usually cuddle last time Dean checked. But even if angels didn’t usually cuddle, Cas was very good at it overall. In fact he was kinda awesome at it. Maybe… Maybe a few more minutes wouldn’t hurt? A few more minutes wouldn’t make him like… Gay or anything. No, this wasn’t a gay-thing. Totally not. Cas wasn’t even human. Who knows if he even had junk between his legs! Did Cas have junk between his legs? Dean raised a curious eyebrow to himself but quickly shook his head. Quit thinking about Cas’ junk god damnit! Dean let out a deep sigh and pouted a bit to himself. This was confusing. But, he made a decision, and after a deep breath, he snuggled back up, pressing his head against Cas’ chest and nuzzling him softly.

***

Not too long after Dean had fallen asleep again, and was snoring quite loudly, Cas slowly opened his eyes and looked around the room. Something felt heavy against his chest, and at first he got worried and shifted a bit, but as soon as he looked down and saw the soft brown head of hair he knew all too well, Castiel stopped his movements and became more cautious. He blushed. How… How did this happen? Was Dean alright? Was he aware of their positions right now? Castiel tilted his head, watching his arm as it wrapped around Dean’s waist tightly. He tilted his head to the other side, checking if Dean was sleeping.

“Dean? Dean.” Castiel whispered, biting his lip a little. Dean would be furious, Cas thought to himself, if he knew how they were laying together right now. It was better to wake him up, just in case, just to tell him what was happening and that they could certainly untangle themselves from each other. But did he really want that? Cas didn’t mind, in fact, it felt quite nice. Wonderful, in fact. He squeezed Dean a bit tighter, just to feel him a bit closer like he had wanted last night, and he brushed against Dean’s arm just to feel his remarkably soft skin. No. This was wrong. Dean would be upset. And no matter how much he enjoyed holding Dean close this wasn’t alright by any means, not without Dean having a say in it and-

“Stop shifting around, I’m comfortable.” Dean grumbled suddenly and squeezed closer. Castiel’s lips parted a bit. Dean was… Comfortable? Like this? Castiel tried to speak, but no words seemed to be leaving his lips. “One word of this to Sam, and I’ll kill you.” Dean added with an angry huff before taking Cas’ hand and wrapping it tighter around his waist.

***

It was completely, and utterly, impossible for Cas to get any more rest. He didn’t mind though. He just laid there, and stared up at the ceiling, a soft smile on his face. Every once in a while, he dared to glance down just to make sure Dean was still there, running his fingers up and down Dean’s arm, humming softly to himself. This was a blessing. It truly was. Castiel couldn’t remember last time he’d felt this happy.

He tried to tell himself though, that this probably only was a one time thing. Dean would never consider this again, and he would probably not even want to talk about it afterwards. It was a hard fact to come to terms with, but he tried his best, just to avoid getting hurt. He wasn’t sure it worked, and he was pretty sure it didn’t. Because all Castiel could think of, was how they would sleep just like this every night from now on, how they would watch those god awful cowboy movies together in bed, close, just like this. Cas smiled to himself. He would watch any horrible movie if it meant he could have Dean close, just like this.

***

Eventually, Dean had woken up, and he had been very quiet. Castiel understood, but at the same time, it hurt. He kept a smile up for Dean though, and he made sure to treat him with utmost respect. Like he always did.

Castiel was anything but thrilled when he heard that there was a case close by. It was a simple ghost haunting, but that meant Dean and Sam would be leaving for at least a couple of hours. Castiel had tried to convince the boys to let him go with them, but both Sam and Dean had argued it was best that he stayed at the bunker with Jack, in case anything happened.

Castiel had agreed, but had looked down at the floor sadly. Dean noticed, and he gripped the strap of his bag a bit tighter in his hand.

Dean didn’t feel awesome. He didn’t feel awesome at all about barely talking to Cas, not talking about their night together, and barely acknowledging him and telling him he couldn’t go with them, even though deep down, he kinda wanted him to. He really wanted him to, in fact. But there was some truth to the reason why Cas should stay behind, which made the situation at least a little bit more bearable.

“We’ll be back before you know it, Cas.” Dean finally said to the angel and Sam looked up at Dean a bit with a concerned frown . Sam could clearly see that something was up. He wasn’t sure why, but Castiel seemed very down and Dean had been avoiding him awkwardly all morning. Maybe a hunt would do them good.

Castiel had nodded, and then turned around with a glance at Dean, his disappointment clear in his eyes. Dean had quickly looked away. He couldn’t bear seeing Cas like that. Castiel had nodded to Jack, telling him to go pick a movie that they could watch in the meantime, and left the brothers to go on their hunt together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> So, a bit shorter this time, but lovely and angsty and I hope you're all okay.  
> Let's see what's all about this hunt in the next one, shall we?
> 
> Rock on!


	9. Wet salt

9\. Wet salt

The beginning of the ride in the Impala was more than tense to say the least. Dean seemed grumpy and was squirming in the seat, as if he couldn’t find the right position even though he had been in this car for years and years. Sam looked at him with concern and sighed softly.

“Are you alright? Seems like you and Cas had a bit of a moment back there.” Sam said and Dean quickly held up his hand.

“There was no moment, alright? There’s no- no- moment-ing going on okay? So just drop it.” Dean grumbled quickly and squeezed the wheel with his other hand. Sam groaned and rolled his eyes.

“Dude, something is up between you two, and I’m not going to drop it. You’re gonna talk, Dean, eventually, and I’ll be here to listen okay? You and Cas have been through a lot and now you suddenly have his grace inside of you? I can’t even imagine what that must be like-”

“You know Sammy it’s great. Really. I feel great. I feel- I feel powerful, I feel in control, I’ve had the best sleep in years and I feel great. So. Drop it Sam.” Dean said, his voice a bit more calm but still annoyed as he looked to the side at his brother. Sam sighed. Seems there was no getting through to Dean, not right now at least.

“Well, I’m glad that you feel great and in control. And you always deserve a good night’s sleep. I just… Cas looked upset when we left, more than usual. And you have been tiptoeing around each other all morning. I just wanted to know what’s up, and if I could help with anything.” Sam said wanting to be helpful. Dean glanced out his side-window before looking back at the road.

“Well you know Cas. He worries a lot. He gets upset easily. He’s a baby in a trench coat, remember? It was nothing different this time, we just haven’t been on a hunt in a while so he was extra nervous. That’s all. Okay Sam?” Dean said and Sam gave up with a simple nod. He didn’t believe that was the whole story to it, not one bit, but he didn’t want to agitate Dean any more right now, not when they needed to be focused for the first hunt in a few weeks at least.

***

“So, what do we know about this ghost?” Dean asked as they stepped out of the car and looked up at the rather run down looking house. It was a medium sized house, two floors, possibly an attic, Dean thought to himself as he scoped the place out from the outside. Sam cleared his throat.

“Well, the ghost has been taking vics that seem to follow a very random pattern-” Sam said and Dean rolled his eyes.

“Great, a random ghost, just what we need.” He grumbled softly. Sam sighed.

“Let me finish. The only /odd/ thing that stood out is that… Well many of the victims cars were found just outside the house, so, they had purposefully driven up to the house. And all of the vics cars had strange supplies in them. Like, knives, guns, bibles… Holy water… Salt…” Sam murmured and looked at Dean worriedly.

“So what? The victims are hunters now? Why? Because they’re the ones that drive up to get to this bitch and then they just all get killed? What kind of BS is that?” Dean sighed and frowned deeply. “A hunter can handle a simple ghost Sam. Maybe it’s not a ghost then, maybe it’s something else?” Dean said and grabbed a bottle of holy water just in case. Sam shook his head.

“It’s a ghost. Definitely a ghost. No sign of anything else and the testimonies of the ones that survived staying in the house all say the same thing, and they’re all signs of ghosts.” Sam explained and Dean frowned deeper.

“So… What you’re saying is that some people just come to the house and survive?” Dean asked and Sam nodded.

“Seems like. I mean, if the ghost is after hunters, why waste their energy on killing regular folks?” Sam said with a shrug. Dean looked down at his gun and cocked it swiftly.

“This is just getting weirder and weirder.” He sighed and started walking towards the house.

***  
This was just a regular hunt. Any regular ghost hunt. Then why did Dean feel so nervous? Was it the grace inside that he could feel already buzzing, or was it the fact that Cas wasn’t by their side? Maybe it was a mix of both, but right now his feelings for Cas were so complicated that he didn’t really want to pay it another thought.

“Is it just me or does it seem a little bit /too/ quiet to you?” Dean murmured quietly once inside, and he held up his gun to his shoulder, opening the door into the kitchen to have a peek. Sam nodded, but then looked down at the floor with a frown. He jumped lightly on the spot, the floorboards creaking loudly.

“Isn’t the floorboards very buckled? As if they’ve had some serious water damage? I mean look at them.” Sam said and pressed down on a particularly damaged board. The wood basically bounced at the press of Sam’s foot and he looked at Dean who was now observing the floor as well.

“Maybe there’s been a water leak recently? I mean, it does smell kinda funky in here.” Dean said and reached over to one of the walls. “Hey, the wallpaper seems water damaged too. What’s that all about?” Dean said and looked up to the ceiling.

Just as he did so, a drop of water hit his nose and he shook his head quickly. “Uh oh, that can’t be good.” Dean said and moved closer to Sam. “I don’t hear any water running, do you?” Dean asked and then suddenly looked towards the wall, seeing water start to run down it in a steady stream. “Sam, what the hell is going on?” Dean grumbled to his brother, his voice worried and his breathing slightly quicker than before. 

“I- I don’t know-” Sam stuttered and swallowed thickly, reaching for his own gun. Dean looked towards the other wall, seeing water starting to flow down there as well. Sam gasped as a gush of water came down from the ceiling, soaking both him and Dean and all their supplies. Dean spluttered a bit and began moving towards the stairs.

“We need to check the upstairs!” Dean yelled through the noise of the gushing water that only became more and more aggressive and louder and louder. Water had started to pool by their feet now and came almost up to the point that it covered the toes of their boots. Dean started walking towards the stairs, but as soon as he did, there was a flicker and the ghostly shape appeared right before him.

“Hey there, hunter boy.” The man said and Dean instantly took a shot at him with his rounds of rocksalt. The blast echoed in the hollow building but the ghost had already flickered away and stood behind him. “You don’t think I know that trick? I was a hunter too you know, hell, I was the best hunter there ever was.” The ghost said and Sam’s eyes widened.

“If you were a hunter once, then why are you hunting us?!” Sam shouted through the whooshing sound of the water. The ghost laughed.

“You know, you’re actually the first hunter to ask that. Usually hunters are all ‘shoot first and ask questions later’. But not you two. Not the /Winchesters/ right? You’re all about saving people and all that crap, you ask the questions and you shoot later, if your poor little hearts decides it’s right to do so.” The ghost man said and made a mock pouty face and mimicked rubbing his eyes as if he was crying. Dean clenched his jaw and raised his gun again. The ghost rolled his eyes. “Come on /Dean/. Are you really going to try that again? Are you really that /stupid/?” The ghost laughed and just as he did, Sam reached in his bag and took out the container of salt and threw it towards the ghost.

Or well, at least he /tried/ to throw it. The water had melted the salt into a sludge. A wet, soggy sludge that didn’t even make it halfway towards the ghost. Dean’s eyes widened, and so did Sam’s. The ghost snickered.

“See, you might’ve had questions about the water, but I think you get it now. Some ghosts prefer to, break a window, blow a hole in the wall, anything to make the salt just float away in the wind… But, making it wet, soggy, unusable, that’s a much better plan don’t you think?” The ghost said and with a swift move he flickered and grabbed Sam around the throat, pushing him against the nearest wall with a loud bang.

“Sammy!” Dean yelled and tried to run towards him but in an instant another gush of water came from the ceiling along with a floorboard, knocking Dean down on the floor and rendering him unconscious. The ghost flashed his maniacal smirk up at Sam, tilting his head to the side.

“See, I know who you worked with, all those years ago. Bobby Singer. Rings a bell?” The ghost hissed and Sam spluttered from the water that was rushing down his face now. “Shh, no talking, I’m talking now.” The ghost sighed and tightened his grip. “Well you see, Bobby and I have some unfinished business, and I thought, what better way to make him suffer, than to kill his precious little boys hmm? Because that’s what you are to him, you’re his sons, Sammy.” The ghost whispered and Sam garbled as water suddenly began coming up his throat and spilling through his mouth. “Bobby spoke of you two as his most precious sons in the whole wide world, and now, I’m going to kill you off myself!”

Sam began gasping for air, trying to look to see if Dean had gotten up from the floor. Sam frowned even though he was choking when he couldn’t see Dean anywhere until-

There was a gush of bright light, making Sam squeeze his eyes shut. It was almost like an explosion happening right before him and suddenly all the water stopped and Sam sunk down to the floor because the tight grip on his throat that was holding him up, was gone.

Sam gasped, gripping his throat, spitting out the excess water as he tried to call his brother’s name.

“Dean! Dean- Dean what the- what the hell- happened-” Sam spluttered as the water on the floor slowly sank between the floorboards, making it easier for him to move around. He got up on his hands and knees, finally able to blink his eyes open and get a clear visual of what he was looking at, and he saw Dean on his hands and knees all hunched over as if he was vomiting. But he wasn’t. Instead he was panting heavily and groaning out in pain.

“It burns- Sammy- Please-!” Dean cried out and sobbed and Sam hurried to Dean as quickly as he could.

“Dean-! Dean- You’re going to be okay, what burns? Tell me?!” Sam shouted and lifted Dean up by holding him underneath his arms. Dean let out a cry of pain at the movement and groaned, gripping Sam’s arm tightly.

“Are- Are you alright Sammy?” Dean breathed out and Sam let out a huff.

“Are you serious right now? I’m fine Dean just tell me where are you hurt?!” Sam shouted and tried to get Dean to stand. Another cry of pain left Dean’s lips and he shook his head.

“I- I don’t know- My back- My back it’s like it’s on fire- Sammy please- Please make it stop-” Dean begged, falling back to his knees. Sam watched with panic at his brother, deciding to stand up and then pick him up in his arms to carry him out to the car.

***

Dean panted and growled out in pain as he was carried to the Impala, squirming in Sam’s grip.

“Hang in there, Dean. We’re soon home.” Sam whispered to him and quickly but gingerly laid Dean in the backseat. Dean was starting to cramp up, his whole body stiff from the pain and Sam rushed even quicker into the driver’s seat of the car. Sam wasn’t sure what was going on. Did Dean need an actual hospital, or was this something the ghost had caused or the explosion of light-

Explosion of light. The-

“The grace.” Sam whispered out and started driving. Something had happened with the grace. Something that had caused the bright light explosion and now had caused Dean so much pain that he couldn’t even speak when Sam tried to get Dean to explain what he was feeling. In his desperation and anger, he called Cas as he drove quickly back to the bunker.

***

Castiel had been pacing around the bunker almost the entire time, and Jack had felt his nerves and had tried his best to cheer Castiel up. He had even offered to play ‘go fish’ with him which had caused Castiel to smile but he had quickly declined.

When the phone rang, Castiel quickly jumped to his feet, but when he saw it was Sam, his heart sank. Something was wrong. He could feel it through his grace.

“Sam, what’s happening?” Castiel asked, his breathing already laboured as he answered the phone quickly.

“What’s happening? YOU Castiel! You and your stupid grace and your stupid powers!” Sam yelled into the phone. Castiel frowned, but flinched a bit at the harsh words. He couldn’t even remember last time Sam had called him by his full name.

“I- I don’t understand-” Castiel stuttered and Sam huffed.

“Of course you don’t! Of course you just live in your little fantasy world where you want to make Dean into some half-angel because he asked you to and you would do everything and anything he wants just to please him! Well now, he might be dying because of it, are you happy?!” Sam shouted as Dean cried out in pain from the backseat. Castiel paled when he heard the cry of pain, but tried to keep his composure.

“What did he say to you?” Castiel asked with a low, calm voice. Sam frowned.

“What do you mean what did he say to me? After or before the cries of pain!?” Sam shouted into the phone and took a sharp left turn at the junction. Castiel sighed, rubbing his face.

“What happened? Did he tell you where he was hurting?” Castiel asked and Sam had to hold himself back not to curse at him.

“There was a bright flash of light, then I saw Dean on the floor hunched over, and he kept saying that it ‘burns’ and he said the pain was coming from his back.” Sam explained quickly, tears filling his eyes. “Cas, if Dean is dying because of this then-” Sam stopped, sighing deeply. He then frowned when he didn’t get a response from Cas. “Cas? Cas are you there? Come on man answer me?”

Castiel held the phone to his ear, his lips parted, but no sound was coming out. Jack moved up to him and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Castiel?” Jack asked quietly as he saw Cas’ eyes get watery. Castiel quickly came too and cleared his throat.

“Take him home Sam. He’s not dying. He’ll be fine. Just bring him home as quickly as possible.” Cas said seriously into the phone before hanging up. Sam frowned.

“Cas- What- Cas? Cas! Damnit!” Sam shouted as he hung up the phone himself and tossed it aside. “Hang on Dean, Cas says you’re going to be alright. Just hang on.” Sam breathed and focused on driving as quickly as possible.

***

“Jack, I need you to get me a few things and to put them in the library okay? We need towels, blankets, bandages, and warm water. Alright? Quickly now.” Castiel said, trying to remain calm even though he realised his hands were shaking when he reached out to squeeze Jack’s shoulder. Jack frowned but nodded, looking up at Cas.

“What’s… What’s going on? Is Dean hurt? Sam sounded angry on the phone.” Jack asked and Cas sighed, biting his lip.

“He’s not hurt, he’s going to be fine. Just do as I say alright? Dean will be fine.” He tried to reassure both the boy and himself. Jack smiled and nodded, and rushed off to get the things Castiel had asked for.

Cas dragged in a deep breathed, covering his face with his hand and tried to gather himself and stop his shaking. He hoped that Sam would make it home with Dean in time…

***

Sam came rushing down the stairs with Dean in his arms, and he was still cramping up and his eyes were wide and pained.

“Cas? Cas we’re here!” Sam called and Cas rushed to the stairs. Cas’ eyes widened a bit when he saw the state of Dean, and he rushed forward and took Dean from Sam’s arms and held him in his own. Dean groaned in pain, his hands clutched tightly in his own shirt. Cas looked down at him and carried him quickly to the library, kneeling down with him on the blankets and towels he had set out. Sam followed, and frowned at everything that laid out on the floor. 

“Cas, what’s going on?” Sam asked, suddenly swaying a bit on his legs and Jack came up to hold Sam and guide him down into a chair. The adrenaline had helped with Sam’s hurt state, but now that it was subsiding he started feeling just how bad he was after nearly choking to death.

Castiel held Dean in his arms, gently cupping Dean’s cheek.

“Dean, can you hear me?” Castiel said quietly, stroking his cheek, trying to soothe him. Dean nodded, looking up at Cas with scared eyes.

“Cas- Wha- Hurts- Back- Plea-” Dean managed to splutter out and Castiel nodded softly.

“I know, I know Dean. You need to listen to me alright? You are not dying, and the ghost is not responsible for this.” Castiel said, looking over at Sam who was frowning, wondering why Cas was taking so long and why he wasn’t just saving Dean right now. Cas sighed when he saw the urgency in Sam’s gaze and looked down at Dean.

“Dean, you’re… You’re sprouting wings.” Castiel said and Sam let out a laugh.

“What? You- You can’t be serious.” Sam said and moved down to the floor. Castiel held up a hand at Sam.

“Sam, you need to give him room.” Castiel said calmly and wrapped his arms around Dean who looked up at him with confusion and fear. “Dean, you’re going to be fine. It will hurt, and I know you are already hurting, but you will be fine.” Castiel repeated and Sam swallowed thickly.

“Cas, Dean /can’t have wings/. He just can’t. Why- How- I mean-” Sam stuttered, running his hands through his hair. Dean looked up with equal panic and Cas cupped his cheek again.

“I- have- w-wings?” Dean stuttered and Cas nodded softly.

“You will have them, soon.” Castiel spoke and rubbed his thumb over Dean’s cheek. “It seems that the grace has manifested so strongly and deemed you worthy to have wings of your own.” Castiel explained.

“Deemed you /worthy/? Why are you saying it like it’s a good thing!? He’s in pain, Cas, do something!” Sam shouted and Castiel glared at him suddenly.

“If you are going to sit here and panic and throw out harsh statements then I suggest you leave because it is not helping Dean in the slightest, Sam.” Castiel said in a firm manner which Sam hadn’t heard for very long, which made him back away slightly.

Dean squirmed in Castiel’s arms, letting out another shout of pain and he reached and grabbed Cas’ shirt, turning himself on the side. Sam’s eyes widened and he pointed to Dean’s back. 

“Is- Is that blood-?” Sam stuttered and Castiel looked down, pressing his fingers against the dark part of the flannel fabric. He pulled away and his fingers were deep red with blood and he nodded his head. “Oh my God.” Sam breathed and Castiel quickly reached for a pair of scissors. He leaned forwards and started cutting up the back of Dean’s shirts, spreading them apart and revealing two slits that had begun bursting his skin apart.

“Cas!!!” Dean cried out in pain and sobbed once more. Cas closed his eyes, taking a few deep breaths. Cas seemed composed on the outside, but on the inside, it was all out war. He wished he could help Dean, but he knew there was no stopping the process of growing his wings. Nor was there any easier way for this to happen. So instead of letting the panic he was feeling on the inside seep to the outside, he tried to stay as calm as possible.

“I know. I know Dean. Deep breaths.” Castiel spoke slowly and stroke his hand through Dean’s hair. “It will be over soon. I promise.” Castiel whispered and reached to take Dean’s hand, gripping it tightly in his own.

Another cry of pain and a ripping sound from Dean’s back so gruesome Sam had to back away and turn his head, and Castiel had to close his eyes for a moment as well. Dean sobbed, finding it hard to even breathe. Castiel opened his eyes and looked down at Dean, stroking his cheek gently. “Soon over, I promise.” Castiel repeated, nodding to Jack. “Give me the bucket of water and the towel.” Castiel asked and Jack quickly did as he was told.

Castiel soaked the softest towel they had in the warm water and gently ran it over Dean’s back, trying to soothe some of the pain.

“I- I never asked- For this- Cas- Why?” Dean sobbed and looked up at Cas with tears in his eyes. Castiel swallowed down the lump in his throat that had formed from Dean looking up at him, whimpering to him like that. So helpless... He shook his head.

“I… I don’t know I… You were chosen Dean, it’s out of my hands. I would never… If I knew I-” Castiel tried but soon Dean cried out again and nearly crushed the bones in Castiel’s hand and the rip in his back became bigger.

“Castiel do something!!” Sam shouted, having had enough of this. Castiel’s eyes shot up quickly, the look on his face grim with anger.

“There’s not much I can do, Sam!” Castiel shouted back and Dean cried out again.

“Cas I can’t-!” Dean shouted, and he cut himself off with another cry, and suddenly, the whole room enveloped in a bright light and then everything got dark.

***

Sam uncovered his eyes slowly, having had his arm as a shield up over his eyes just in case. He didn’t want to get his eyes burned out after all.

“Cas?” Sam asked quietly, looking around the dark room, all the lights having been blown out. He looked down at Dean, frowning when his back looked completely normal, except for two big scars down the middle of his back, the skin there lighter than the rest of it. “How…” Sam gasped and Castiel was looking down at Dean in awe. Sam turned to Jack, and saw the look on Jack’s face mimicking the one on Cas’. “Cas what- Hey- Did you make it stop? The wings they- They stopped growing-” Sam stuttered and Jack slowly shook his head.

“They’re… They’re right there Sam, can’t you see?” Jack whispered, pointing to the floor behind Dean’s back. Sam frowned. The floor was… Completely empty. Nothing there. Not even a feather.

“He can’t see them, Jack. He can only see the shadow of them. Only angel’s and certain creatures can see them with their own eyes.” Castiel suddenly spoke, his voice equally as slow and calm as it had been before. But he was breathing heavily, his eyes gazing over the floor that was empty looking to Sam, and a small smile spread across his face.

“They’re… They’re beautiful.” Castiel said, reaching down and running his fingers over the soft dark feathers, that looked very much like his own, most likely since they were conjured from his own grace. Sam frowned a little.

“Beautiful? Cas- How can you think they are beautiful when they caused Dean so much pain?” Sam said, his voice small and worried. He looked down at Dean when he saw some sudden movement from his brother. “Dean?” Sam breathed and Dean groaned softly.

“Sammy?” Dean breathed and tried to turn on his back. Cas quickly stopped him and shook his head. 

“No, wait Dean, you can’t do that yet.” Castiel said, placing a hand on his arm. Dean frowned and looked up at Cas. “How are you feeling?” Castiel asked softly and placed a hand on Dean’s sweaty neck, helping him hold his head up. Dean frowned.

“I uh… I don’t know… I… It doesn’t hurt anymore…” Dean said and Sam’s eyes widened a bit.

“It… It doesn’t?” Sam asked and Dean shook his head. Castiel smiled a bit bigger and let out a breath of relief. Dean looked up at Cas and blushed a little.

“Are… Uh… Are they there?” Dean asked tiredly and tried to glance towards his back. Cas chuckled a little at the trivial sounding question to something so major that had just happened. Castiel nodded.

“Yes. They are. And they’re very beautiful. Even though Sam doesn’t like me saying that.” Castiel said with a pointed glance at Sam who rolled his eyes with a soft sigh. “He can’t see them, but me and Jack can.” Castiel said and very gently took the edge of Dean’s wing and carefully bent it up towards him. “See? This is yours.” Castiel smiled and Dean’s eyes widened when he saw the soft looking wings. He… He had never seen them for real before. Only the shadows. Heck he hadn’t even seen Cas’ wings and now… Now he was practically staring at his own.

“I… Wow…” Dean said, not knowing quite what to say. Jack began smiling as well.

“Mine are more golden blonde. Like my hair! Yours matches Castiel’s colour, probably because it’s his grace inside of you.” Jack said as a matter of factly in a way that made Cas snort softly. He watched as Dean stared at the wing in awe, and smiled softly.

“You can touch them. Here.” Castiel said and took Dean’s hand, gently placing it on the softest part of the wing, stroking it together with his own hand. Dean blushed a little as his wing twitched and he let out a soft chuckle before blushing again.

“Uh, it tickled.” Dean said and Castiel couldn’t help but chuckle as well.

“Yes. They are quite sensitive, especially when newly sprouted.” Castiel explained before dropping the wing gently down so it would fold around Dean’s body. Castiel sighed and reached up, stroking his hand through Dean’s hair lovingly.

“Are… Are you alright? You seemed quite… Angry with me because of this…” Castiel asked, knowing it was probably a bad time, but the hurt look from Dean was etched into his mind, and would probably stay there for years to come. Dean looked down a little, clenching his jaw.

“Well, it hurt like a bitch. And… And I’m worried about them but… I’m alright. I think.” Dean said and looked back up at Cas, smiling crookedly. “Will they uh… Will they be out like this forever? I mean, yours are not…” Dean said and Cas shook his head.

“No, you can decide when you need them and you’ll conjure them to you, or rather, from you.” Castiel said and stroke Dean’s cheek. Dean nodded and tried to sit up a bit. Castiel shook his head. “No, stay down Dean, rest.” Castiel said and smiled softly. Dean sighed a little but stayed on the floor, pulling a pillow close.

“Alright. Show me yours then.” Dean said suddenly and scooted off Cas’ lap and laid down on the pillow he had pulled towards himself instead. Castiel frowned.

“I… Show you mine?” Castiel asked, confused, and Dean nodded.

“Yup. You get to see my wings, I get to see yours. That’s an even trade off don’t you think Sammy?” Dean said and looked at his brother.

Sam sat like a lump on the chair. He was exhausted by watching his brother in so much pain. He was exhausted from having nearly choked to death just less than an hour ago. And he was rather pissed off that Cas had both let this happen, and that Dean was once again taking things so lightly.

“Yeah… Sure…” Sam murmured tiredly. “Not that I can see any of it, but go ahead.” Sam added and Castiel sighed and stood from the floor.

He walked up to Sam, who flinched back at first but then Cas gave him such a disappointed look, that he stayed where he was in his seat. Castiel gently placed his fingers on Sam’s temple, and muttered something in enochian and Sam’s eyes lit up blue with a gasp.

Dean looked behind himself, holding himself up on his elbows.

“Sammy? What the hell did you do Cas?” Dean asked with a frown and Cas nodded.

“He wanted to see our wings. Now he can. For a few seconds.” Castiel said and looked down at Sam.

But Sam didn’t look back up at Cas. Instead, he was staring at his brother in awe, or rather, behind his back on the place on the floor that had been empty just moments ago.

“Oh my God…” Sam breathed out in one go, and Castiel moved to stand in front of Dean.

“As you requested.” Castiel said, letting Sam look in awe as the angel spread out his black wings as well. They didn’t look as beautiful as Dean’s. His own had been through quite a lot, so they weren’t as full and downy. But, they were large, and they flexed out and he decided to show off as much as he could, just like he had tried in the barn where they had first met.

“Holy cow…” Dean breathed as he saw Castiel in his full glory for the first time ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay... I was holding my breath both writing this and re-reading it before posting it and I... I'm still exhausted lol.  
> I hope you enjoy this as much as I did.
> 
> Rock on!


	10. Wings and Things

10\. Wings and Things

Castiel smiled as he watched both brothers stare at him in shock and awe. His own wings were much larger than Dean’s, though they were not as thick and they were slightly damaged in some areas, the wingspan was much greater. 

Dean swallowed thickly and propped himself up on his elbows, or at least, trying his best to with the wings in his way that he didn’t know how to control yet.

“You’re- You’re bigger than me.” Dean stuttered, quickly realising the innuendo and blushing slightly at it. Cas just smiled and walked a bit closer to Dean.

“Yes. Well, I’m much older than you.” Castiel replied, kneeling by Dean gently. As he did so, Sam suddenly flinched, his eyes blinking rapidly a few times. Dean and Castiel looked over at him and Sam was panting softly.

“I- I can’t see them anymore-” Sam stuttered, almost disappointed in a way, to Castiel’s surprise. Sam had been nothing but judging, but perhaps he had now changed his mind, if even slightly to begin with. Cas nodded and sighed fondly.

“The enochian spell only lasts for a short amount of time, I’m sorry.” Castiel explained and Sam nodded.

“Yeah yeah, that’s cool I just uh,” Sam trailed off, not really sure what to say. Dean on the other hand, was trying to sit up even more, and was struggling greatly.

“Cas- Cas I need to talk to you- I need to explain-” Dean started to stutter. Everything had gone so wrong this morning. The tiptoeing around each other. The way he had practically ignored Cas and not wanted to talk to him after their night together. And suddenly it all rushed back to his mind and he wanted to apologise, he wanted to tell Cas how wrong he had been and how much he wanted to make it right. 

Castiel saw Dean’s struggle and quickly moved forwards, still kneeling and with his wings spread wide. “Dean, Dean shh, you need to rest. Your body has been through-” Castiel tried but Dean shook his head.

“This morning, I- Cas I’m sorry, last night-” Dean looked quickly at his brother, who looked at him curiously but with his brows furrowed. Dean swallowed before looking up at Cas. “Last night, I wanted that, more than anything, laying… Laying next to you was awesome and it-” Dean tried and a soft smile spread across Sam’s lips. Dean being flustered just by laying next to someone, that was something new indeed.

Castiel’s hand was quickly up on Dean’s cheek, cupping it, holding his head up. He was blushing slightly and glanced over to Sam before looking back into Dean’s panicked eyes.

“Dean, listen closely, we will talk about this later, but right now, you need to rest. Your body needs to rest after such a huge change and-” Castiel sighed as he was interrupted by Dean’s rambling.

“Rest!? How the hell do you think I can rest right now!? I have wings damnit! I can see your wings too Cas! And I want to know more! I want to touch your wings I want to- Cas please-” Dean started sounding more angry than flustered and Cas was having none of it. Dean’s body needed the rest, even if Dean didn’t feel like he needed it. Dean’s mind was racing, and Castiel understood that, but he had to prioritize Dean’s well being right now more than his mind.

“I understand. Dean, look at me.” Castiel said softly, his eyes sparkling with grace which automatically made Dean look into them. “You will rest, and then we will speak about anything and everything you want to, alright? I will tell you everything I know, I will let you touch, explore, feel, smell, whatever you might want to do but right now, you need to sleep, just for a little bit. Okay, Dean? That’s it, nice and slow, shh…” Castiel continued speaking, and as he spoke, his index and middle finger slowly slid up together on his temple, slowly pushing Dean into a deep sleep.

Dean’s eyes became heavier and heavier, and he tried to hold onto Cas’ arm. “Cas… Cas I… Cas…” Dean whispered, his voice getting more and more quiet until Castiel caught his limp head in his other hand and smiled as the hunter was snoring softly.

Sam looked at Castiel and grunted softly as he tried to stand up from his chair. “Was that really necessary?” Sam grumbled, not so sure he liked Cas forcing his brother to sleep. Castiel clenched his jaw, his wings flaring out angrily which made Jack jump back. Sam frowned at that, since he couldn’t see the wings himself, but he could see the anger on Cas’ face.

“Sam.” Castiel said firmly, lifting Dean up into his arms, holding him close to his body. His wings rose up even higher into the air, and he looked at Sam with fire and disappointment in his eyes. “I would not have done it, if it wasn’t necessary. I know you care deeply about your brother, Sam. I /know/ that you are protective over him. But don’t you think you have at least enough respect for me, to realise that I would never hurt your brother on purpose?” Castiel said, his voice upset and deep.

“I would give anything, for Dean. I would give up my life, and the life of a million angels for Dean. In fact, I would even give up /your/ life, for Dean. But what I will not do, is hurt him, or watch him hurt himself. No. I did not know he would sprout the wings. No, there was no way for me to stop it. Yes, I would’ve stopped it, if I could, even if I myself feel an ever deeper connection to Dean now that he also has wings. What I ask of you, Sam Winchester, is a little respect, and trust that I know what I’m doing. I know I have forsaken you in the past, but I assure you, I have learned from my mistakes.” Castiel ended and pulled Dean closer.

“Now if you excuse me, I will put your brother to bed, and then I will make him something to eat, and you can come speak to me if you wish when you’re ready.” Castiel added firmly before heading past Sam and down the hallway to Dean’s bedroom.

***

Sam had left the bunker almost instantly after Cas had practically scolded him, and he had been upset at first. Angry. Offended to a certain degree knowing that Cas would put Dean’s life before his own. But after a while of half-jogging, half-running through the woods close by (apparently, Cas’ enochian spell had also helped heal his body), he had gone through many of the events in his head and realised that he himself had been out of line. He had given Cas quite a hard time, blaming all of this on him, blaming /him/ for /Dean/ wanting to keep the grace, blaming Cas for the wings.... Sam didn’t even know what had happened at the house with the ghost that had caused that reaction from Dean. He hadn’t even thought to ask… There hadn’t been /time/ to ask.

Sam stopped, hands on his knees as he crouched over to catch his breath. Cas was right. His protective nature of his brother had lead to him disregarding the way he had treated Cas, his closest friend, and now he felt kinda horrible about it. Sam shook his head and decided he would make it right, somehow.

***

Castiel stood in the kitchen, preparing something healthy with a side of something not so healthy. Dean’s body needed a full meal to recover from the explosion of energy growing the wings had taken from him, so he had settled on making a big salad, along with some beef and bean chili and a big apple pie. Nutrients. Chili. Pie. Things he knew Dean liked, (besides the salad), which wasn’t burgers and which he had actually learned how to make.

It was good for him too, preparing the food and cooking helped with cooling off after scolding Sam. Cas didn’t like to be harsh with either of the brothers, but he’d had enough. He didn’t want to be bossed around, or told he had done something bad when that wasn’t the case. It wasn’t fair, and Cas might’ve not spoken up in the past, but now he did. He had done everything for Dean, he had not forced Dean to do any of the things that had happened, he had simply done whatever Dean wanted. Dean wanted to keep the grace, Cas would do anything to teach him how to do it safely. Dean wanted to sleep by his side, cuddle up beside him… Hold him… Castiel cleared his throat to himself. Then he would let Dean do those things, gladly, because he wanted them too. Dean might’ve not wanted the wings, but in the end, there was nothing he could do about that, and Castiel had helped Dean through it as well as possible. No, Sam was out of line, and he shouldn’t feel guilty for raising his voice at him…

Okay... Cas felt /slightly/ guilty of some things he had told Sam. Especially about putting Dean first. He would always, to his best abilities, try to save both the brothers. Always. But if Sam had the audacity to think that Cas didn’t care enough about Dean’s well-being, then he would make absolutely certain that Sam knew just how much he cared about Dean even if it meant saying a few things he wasn’t entirely proud of and-

Cas nearly dropped the ladle in the chili once he heard a scream and a shout of Cas’ name from Dean’s bedroom. “Dean!?” Castiel called back and rushed through the hallways until he made it to Dean’s room. “Dean- Dean! Calm down!” Castiel yelled when he entered the room and saw the sight before him.

Dean’s wings were flapping, thrashing all over the place uncontrollably. Dean was panting, groaning, covering his head and trying to make them stop but not doing such a good job of it. Cas entered the room and quickly got slapped to the side by Dean’s left wing and almost fell over but he managed to grab a hold of a nearby chair and then push himself to the bed.

“Dean! Calm down you have to- Calm down-!” Castiel yelled, the flapping of the wings making a loud whooshing noise paired with Dean’s grunts and whines. Castiel groaned and jumped onto the bed, practically wrestling Dean down and tried to reach around to his back.

A cascade of slapping of skin, wings, and grunts was heard from the room until finally, Castiel spread his own wings out and managed to reach around to Dean’s back.

In an instant, the wings stopped moving and Dean stiffened slightly, and Castiel spluttered a bit and spit out one of Dean’s feathers that had gotten caught in his mouth. “Dean, stay, calm.” Castiel murmured quietly, using his other hand to cup Dean’s cheek. Dean swallowed thickly and looked up at Cas with a deep blush, both from the exhausting wing work-out session and being held so firmly on the bed by the angel.

Dean nodded and grunted slightly. “How- How did you make them stop?” Dean breathed out and Cas sighed.

“There’s a specific part at the root of the wings. If you pinch it it’s almost like a cat biting the nape of her kittens and carrying them back to safety. It’s there to center and calm the wings, and the angel attached to them, much like the kittens usually go quite limp in the mother’s hold.” Castiel explained, a small smile spreading across his lips. “Also, good evening.” Castiel said and Dean’s eyes widened a bit.

“Wait what? Evening?” Dean started to try to squirm but his body didn’t allow him to do much in Castiel’s tight hold. Castiel nodded.

“You’ve been out for a couple of hours. Less than I anticipated since I had planned to be by your side when you woke up. But still your body has had a well deserved rest. Tell me, why did you wake up in such a panic, Dean?” Castiel spoke softly, keeping his hold tight since he could still feel Dean’s heart racing and didn’t want the wings to go off again. Dean cleared his throat a little and blushed.

“I uh… I had a nightmare. That’s all….” Dean murmured. He didn’t want to tell Cas what it was about, so he quickly shifted the subject to something else. Or rather, back to what he had been trying to say before he was apparently knocked out by Cas. Which by the way he was feeling quite pissed about right now.

“Cas… Can we talk now? You promised we could talk, when I woke up.” Dean said and relaxed slightly in Cas’ hold. Castiel sighed and nodded.

“One moment. Jack!” Castiel called so loud it made Dean flinch since he wasn’t ready for it. He heard the quick patter of feet and soon Jack opened the door. Dean’s… Compromised state made him blush even more, and Castiel smiled at Jack.

“Is… Is he alright?” Jack said with a frown and Cas nodded.

“He’s fine Jack, just needed to calm him. Can you go downstairs and make sure none of the food gets burnt?” Cas said and Jack nodded and left them after a quick mutter of ‘of course, Castiel’.

Cas turned his attention back to Dean, gently releasing his hold on Dean’s back. “Go on… Talk.” Castiel said simply, and tilted his head with a soft curious look on his face. Dean blushed a bit, and suddenly his mouth felt dry and his throat tight. Okay. Talk. Shouldn’t be that hard. Dean cleared his throat and shifted a bit in Cas’ hold.

“I’m… I’m sorry for the way I treated you this morning. I shouldn’t have been so… Cold and uh… Distant from you. It wasn’t right and uh… I’m sorry.” Dean murmured quietly. Castiel smiled a little and nodded.

“You are forgiven Dean-” Castiel said but Dean quickly shook his head and sighed.

“You’re too damn quick to forgive me Cas, you know that right?” Dean smiled crookedly and Cas snorted softly.

“So I’ve heard.” Castiel replied and let his own body go a bit more loose, the tension in his shoulders dropping and his wings lowering down slightly.

“Well, I mean it. I am truly, truly sorry. And last night…” Dean blushed more. “Last night was… Amazing. It… It was amazing just kinda cuddling, uh, and I… I want to uh… Thank you for it and I want to let you know that… I wouldn’t mind if it happened again… You know?” Dean stuttered out slowly, not very good at talking about his feelings, especially not with Cas. Castiel shook his head with a fond chuckle, and Dean frowned.

“Hey what’s so funny! I’m opening up to you here man and you laugh?” Dean said, quite upset and with his brows furrowed. Castiel sighed and looked back up at Dean, letting go of the nape of Dean’s wings completely before lowering himself down on him a bit more.

“I’m chuckling, Dean, and I’m doing so because your words make me really happy.” Castiel said softly and cupped Dean’s cheek with one hand, and letting the other play against the back of Dean’s head, stroking his hair softly. Dean smiled a little and looked away shyly, but relaxed into the soft touch. Castiel smiled wider. “And, I feel the same way. It was… Wonderful, being so close to you. I was able to hold you, something I’ve been wanting to do for quite some time now, and you didn’t shy away.” Castiel tilted Dean’s head back so he could look into his eyes. “And I will definitely make it happen again, if you’ll let me.” Castiel finished softly, a blush spreading over his cheeks as well as spreading with his dark wings wide open. Dean smiled back and nodded.

“Yeah, yeah I’ll let you.” Dean smiled, his wings fluffing up a bit without him noticing. Dean knew he should say more than that. He should explain to Cas how he really felt, how deeply he felt about him other than just ‘hey man bunking up with you last night was cool let’s do it again’. Cas deserved more than that. They both did.

Castiel began sitting up a bit, letting go of Dean completely and sat up beside him on the bed, stretching and rolling his shoulders a bit after practically wrestling with both Dean and his wings. Dean propped himself up on his elbows and sighed a little. It’s now or never right?

“Cas I-” Dean began but stopped as he heard Jack call Cas’ name frantically. Cas sighed.

“That’s my cue.” Castiel said with a fond sigh and a smile, standing up from the bed. Dean’s mouth closed, and he nodded quickly.

“Yeah uh, yeah, shouldn’t let that food get all burnt that you worked so hard on…” Dean murmured instead of the proclamation of love he had planned to dish out. Maybe later then. Castiel smiled and nodded, and left the room with his wings seemingly disappearing into thin air. He hurried to the kitchen to help Jack remove the pie from the oven and started to plate up everything nicely on the table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooh boy, Sam has some making up to do and Dean needs to learn how to control those suckers huh?  
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Rock on!


	11. Castiel's diary

11\. Castiel’s diary

After everything were prepared down in the kitchen, Castiel frowned. Why hadn’t Dean showed up in the kitchen yet? He nodded to Jack to clean up the counter while they waited for Sam to come back, which Cas was worrying about as well. But right now, Dean was his first priority.

“Dean?” Castiel called as he moved down the hallway. “Dean? Dinner is ready, I thought you realised that-” Castiel stopped as Dean came around the corner, practically dragging the wings behind himself. Oh. Of course. Dean didn’t know how to control or put them away yet. Dean blushed a bit.

“Why are they just hanging there? They’re not… All… Up and cool like yours are...” Dean murmured a little, still a bit shaken from what had happened just moments ago, and from their conversation which he hadn’t really gotten to finish the way he wanted to. Castiel smiled and walked up to Dean, tilting his head and looking back at the wings.

“Well, you’ll have to train them. Just like any other muscle or body part. Right now I suppose they are doing the equivalent of your arms hanging by your side.” Castiel explained and then pressed a hand on Dean’s chest.

There was a fluttering noise and the wings disappeared, much to Dean’s surprise. “How the hell did you do that?” Dean murmured softly and Castiel chuckled a little.

“I’ll teach you that later. Right now, you need to eat, your body needs fuel to recover after growing your wings. Come.” Castiel said and turned around to walk to the kitchen. Dean stood in his place though, for a moment wondering if he should try speaking up again. But when Castiel turned around to look at him with a questioning smile, he instead nodded and headed down the hallway after him.

Sam came down the stairs as Cas and Dean walked by, and to Cas’ surprise, Sam smiled at him.

“Cas, hey.” Sam said and moved up to him. Dean stopped as well, seeing Castiel’s posture change into something more nervous and stiff. “Look, Cas, I’m sorry-”

“No Sam, I’m sorry. I said some things I shouldn’t have-” Castiel interrupted, making Dean frown and wonder what had happened during the little time he was out. Sam held up his hand to stop Cas.

“No, you were right. I should respect you more, and I should trust you more. You would never hurt Dean, not intentionally, and I need to separate Dean’s choices from yours.” Sam explained, Dean looking between the two. Cas’ nervous appearance softened a bit, and he smiled a little.

“Thank you, Sam. That means a lot to me.” Castiel said truthfully and nodded, knowing this might be where you hug but for some reason, he felt kind of awkward hugging Sam around Dean right now. Mostly because, he didn’t want Dean to hug anyone else either…. Was that possessive of him to think so? Probably not… It was probably completely normal.

“No worries man. And also, I got you something.” Sam said and held up a bag, reaching into it and pulling out a notebook. Castiel tilted his head with a frown.

“What is it?” He asked, unsure what Sam’s intentions were right now. Sam smiled with a soft chuckle.

“Well, it’s a notebook. Or uhm, a journal of sorts. I know you’re always watching when me or Dean fills out dad’s journal or write down details of a hunt, so I thought you could have your very own book to write and document things in. Here.” Sam said and held it out for Cas.

Castiel blushed deeply, taking the book in his hands as if it was the most delicate thing on earth. “I… This is so special… Thank you Sam.” Castiel said sincerely, his voice filled with awe.

Dean stood beside him now, arms crossed, looking over at the book sceptically. “It’s just a book…” Dean grumbled, realising he was slightly jealous of Sam getting such a reaction from Cas from a simple gift. Okay, he was /very/ jealous of Sam getting such a reaction from the angel, and Dean cleared his throat quickly.

“Alright, who’s up for dinner? Come on, there’s rabbit food for you Sammy.” Dean said and punched Sam’s shoulder, perhaps a bit harder than he meant to before heading to the table. Sam smirked a little, before nodding his head. 

“I’ll just freshen up a bit. I’ll be back soon.” Sam said and squeezed Cas’ shoulder and giving him another smile before he left for the bathroom. Castiel walked over to the counter and placed the notebook there for now, before heading to the table with an especially grumpy looking Dean. Castiel raised an eyebrow at that, but realised soon what was going on. Cas couldn’t help but smirk a bit to himself.

Dean was jealous, he didn’t think he was even capable of making the hunter jealous. But now he was, and Cas couldn’t help but enjoy it just a little bit… He reached over to the chili and started plating it up for Dean, smiling at him softly.

What Dean didn’t know, was that he had already given Castiel the best gift today. He had opened up to him, and not only that, he had wanted to spend more nights by Cas’ side. And even if that was all it was, for now, or forever, Castiel couldn’t be happier.

“What are you going to write about first in the book Castiel?” Jack asked curiously, munching away on a slice of carrot. Castiel smiled.

“I don’t know really, I have a few things I would like to-”

“Pass me the hot sauce Jack.” Dean interrupted quickly, holding his hand out and waving it a bit. He’d had enough of hearing about this damn book. Jack frowned, but Castiel just smiled.

“I would love to write down the memory of Dean getting his wings.” Castiel continued, as if unfazed by Dean’s interruption. “It was… Quite spectacular, and beautiful, and even though I know I won’t forget it anytime soon, I would like to save it as a memory in a more tangible form.” Cas finished and Jack smiled.

“That sounds like a good first entry.” Jack said and continued eating. Cas smiled.

“What do you think, Dean?” Castiel said, intentionally lowering his voice a bit when he realised Dean was already blushing and staring down at his plate.

“I uh… Sounds great…” He cleared his throat and Castiel nodded contently.

***

Castiel sat in the library with a steaming mug of coffee, seemingly writing away in his new journal. He enjoyed it more than he thought he would, and Sam couldn’t help but smile at him from where he sat, reading one of the few books of Angels and Enochian things they had in their vast library.

It was quite peaceful until Dean walked in with a dramatic groan. “Cas come on! I’m done resting okay? Can’t we just do something? We had a hunt, the first one in weeks, and we didn’t even get to celebrate that we caught the sucker!” Dean whined, looking between Sam and Cas. Sam chuckled and shook his head fondly, and Cas lifted his head from the journal.

“Your body needs to-”

“No, alright? No.” Dean said and shook his head. “I’m strong. Okay. Really strong. I don’t need to rest anymore. Cas come on!” Dean interrupted with a grunt, walking up to the table, and like a petulant child, he swiped Cas’ journal from the table and started walking away with it. Castiel’s eyes widened.

“Dean give it back!” Castiel huffed and stood up from his seat, starting to walk after him. Dean grinned cheekily and picked up speed in his steps.

“Or what huh? You’ll smite me down? You’ll rain down heaven and hell on me? Huh? Angel boy?” Dean teased and Sam rolled his eyes.

“Get a room you two…” Sam muttered and Dean frowned.

“Excuse me? Is my boredom pissing you off little brother?” Dean huffed back and Cas almost caught up to him, but Dean quickly held the journal high up in the air with a grin. “Cas, I’ve had a little brother most of my life, I know all the tricks.” Dean smirked and Castiel sighed.

“Give it back. Journals are a sacred thing and- Sam tell him.” Castiel suddenly said and Sam got to his feet.

“Nope, you two figure it out. I’ve been a little brother for too long to have to deal with this.” Sam said and left to go make himself a cup of coffee. Castiel squinted at Sam but then glared up at Dean.

“Dean.” Castiel said firmly and Dean waved the journal up in the air.

“We’re going to the Buckin’ Bar and Karaoke. Right now. Just say yes and your /diary/ won’t get hurt.” Dean said in a mocking tone.

“We are not going to a bar, Dean. Not when-”

“Fine. I’ll just tell everyone what you wrote then.” Dean said and started walking, opening the journal in his hands but stopped in his steps suddenly.  
Dean blushed. There wasn’t anything written in the journal. Instead, there was a few small hand drawn portraits of himself that Castiel clearly had drawn himself in a soft grey pencil. Dean swallowed thickly and looked up at Cas who had rushed up in front of him, holding his hand out for the journal.

“Give it back.” Castiel muttered,blushing, and Dean nodded, closing it instantly and giving it back to the angel.

“Sorry… I… Those were beautiful Cas…” Dean admitted and rubbed his neck sheepishly. Castiel nodded and looked away.

“Thank you… I didn’t know I could draw that well…” Cas said and slipped the journal into his pocket. “And, if you promise me that the moment you feel even a little bit unwell, we are going home, then we can go to the bar.” Castiel concluded and Dean looked up quickly.

“Really?” Dean said, surprised that Castiel agreed. The angel sighed and nodded.

“Really. If you promise me you’ll make sure you feel alright during our stay there and if you have any doubt, we will go home.” Castiel said softly. “Those are my terms.” He said and looked into Dean’s eyes. Dean bit his lip, mulling it over for a moment before nodding.

“Alright… If you promise me to leave that damn journal in the bunker…” Dean muttered and Castiel sighed.

“Why does the journal bother you so much?” Castiel asked, even though he was pretty sure he knew the answer. Dean sighed.

“It… Just… I mean…” Dean stumbled. “I uh… You just looked so happy when you got it and I’ve never given you anything that has made you that happy and I don’t know I guess I just felt... “ Dean rambled.

“Jealous.” Castiel filled in and Dean huffed.

“No. Not… Not /only/ jealous.” Dean muttered. “I just felt like… You’ve given me so much… Your trust, your grace, the wings, your uh, your /comfort/.” Dean decided to settle on that word instead of anything more… Intimate sounding. “And I haven’t given you anything.” Dean said and Castiel tilted his head almost in disappointment.

“Dean. You are an idiot sometimes.” Castiel said after a long paus. “If you think you have given me nothing, then I don’t even know where to begin to explain to you how untrue that is.” Castiel walked up closer to Dean. “I’ll leave it to you to figure that out yourself. You are more than clever enough to do so.” Castiel said and nodded. “Now, go get dressed. You can’t look like that if we’re going out.” Castiel said firmly before turning on his heel and walking off to his bedroom to get changed himself.

***  
Dean couldn’t tell if Castiel was mad at him, disappointed, or frustrated with him for what he had just said. Or if it was everything at once. Might as well be the last to be honest, Castiel had looked at him with so many emotions that he wasn’t sure what to think. It seemed lately that no matter what came out of his mouth when he tried to talk to Cas, it all came out wrong or it just didn’t come out at all. Dean growled in frustration, pulling on his regular black t-shirt before stopping half way. He pulled it off, and grabbed the bag he had gotten from Sam and Jack from their visit at the mall, and started buttoning up the white dress shirt instead.

***

Sam knocked on Cas’ door just as he pulled on his own clean white shirt, and he turned around as he buttoned it, smiling at Sam softly. “Hello Sam, get dressed, I agreed to Dean’s request of going to the bar he wanted to. Don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on him all evening.” Cas said and Sam smiled.

“I’m sure you will.” Sam said and leaned against the doorway. Cas frowned, but just continued getting dressed. “Hey listen, I’m sorry if I caused any problems with the journal. I didn’t even begin to think Dean would have such a reaction to it.” Sam said with an apologetic look, but one that quickly turned into a smile when Castiel smiled and shook his head.

“It’s alright Sam. And you didn’t cause any problems, not really. Most of the time, Dean causes these problems for himself. And this time it was no different it seems.” Castiel said and Sam chuckled.

“Yeah that sounds like my brother.” Sam said and snorted softly with a shake of his own head. “Hey, why don’t you wear the AC/DC t-shirt I got you, and you can borrow one of my shirts instead. I think I shrunk a few in the wash last time… Should fit you good.” Sam smiled and Cas tilted his head in thought. Perhaps that would be kind of nice, he thought to himself and started unbuttoning the shirt.

“I’d like that I think. Thank you.” Cas said and turned around to find the AC/DC shirt. Sam smiled. “No problem. I’ll be right back.” Sam said and headed off back to his room.

“Hey, Sammy. Psst. Sam.” Dean muttered from his room quietly as Sam walked passed. Sam rolled his eyes to himself and stopped, watching Dean trying to button the white shirt but he had already gotten a few of the buttons all wrong. “This shirt sucks.” Dean hissed at him. “It doesn’t button up right.” Dean said and glared up at his brother. Sam reached out with his hands and unbuttoned the wrong buttons and re-did them for Dean.

“No. /You/ suck. Not the shirt. There. The shirt works just fine, Dean. You’re just nervous.” Sam said and Dean blushed.

“Nervous for what? We’re just going to the Buckin’ Bar. Nothing weird about it.” Dean said and shrugged. Sam chuckled and leaned against Dean’s doorway this time.

“Right… So it’s not a date then. For you and Cas that me and Jack just happens to tag along to?” Sam said and Dean blushed furiously now.

“Sam! Shut up!” Dean growled at him as he tried to get his cuffs to button up together. Stupid fancy shirts. “And it’s not a-... okay? It’s not- Why are you holding one of your flannels? You’re already wearing one? Are you cold or something?” Dean interrupted himself while also changing the subject. Sam smiled.

“No it’s for Cas actually. I offered him one of my shirts I accidentally shrunk in the wash… Will that be a problem…? Cas borrowing my shirt…?” Sam deliberately spoke slowly with a raised eyebrow. Dean swallowed thickly and made an incredulous expression.

“What? No! Why would it bother me if he borrowed one of your shirts? Just- Don’t be ridiculous Sammy.” Dean muttered and quickly spun around to go to the mirror and fix his hair.

“Right. I’m the ridiculous one…” Sam sighed and headed off back to Cas’ room.

***

And the award for the most awkward car ride in history goes to the one team free will 2.0 just had on their way to Buckin’ Bar. From the awkward choosing of who gets to sit where in the car (Dean had first offered the passenger seat to Cas, then realised how that must look, and then changed back to Sam riding there as usual), to the obvious stares the two jerks in love gave each other when they first saw each other in their ‘new’ outfits. Sam felt about ready to gag from just sitting in the car and he wondered how he would stand the whole evening with the both of them dancing around each other.

At least he had Jack, who was mostly oblivious, and just happy to tag along. And Sam wished he could be just as innocent as he was sometimes.

***

When they arrived at the bar, Dean exited first and then looked towards Jack. “Stay close, lie about your age, ya know, the usual.” Dean said and Jack nodded with a smile, standing close to Sam. Castiel walked around the car, moving up beside Dean with a smile. Dean smiled back. Well, he didn’t seem angry right now judging by the smile, so he hoped Cas wasn’t going to give him a hard time about earlier.

Once inside, with a bit of bribing by the guard as usual to get Jack in, Sam nodded to a good sized booth. “Me and Jack will take the booth, you two go and order drinks.” Sam said, a perfect opportunity to get Cas and Dean some alone time.

Cas followed Dean up to the counter, listening as the hunter ordered their usual drinks. “Make that two for me.” Cas suddenly chimed in and Dean frowned.

“Going heavy tonight?” Dean asked and Cas smiled.

“Dean, you know it takes quite a lot to get me into a less sober state of mind.” Castiel reminded him and Dean nodded.

“Yeah. Right. So uh… About earlier…. Are we cool?” Dean asked and Cas smiled with a nod. He wouldn’t bring up Dean’s underlying issues right now, not when they were supposed to have a good time and after everything, Dean deserved some fun.

“We’re... cool.” Cas said and reached up, stroking Dean’s arm a little. A gentle touch, just a little something. He knew they were very much in public, but he hadn’t gotten to touch Dean in what felt like an eternity so he just had to. Dean blushed and nodded, taking their drinks and Cas took the rest and they headed back to the table quickly.

“Sam… Can I get some change for the pinball games?” Jack asked after a sip of his non-alcoholic beer, smiling eagerly. Sam chuckled and nodded and dug through his pockets and handed some change to Jack. “Thanks!” Jack said and rushed off, Sam smiling at Cas who sat beside Dean on the other side of the table.

“Okay, you’re not going to like this, but I’m just going to say it okay?” Sam started and Dean already tried to protest by groaning out Sam’s name. “No, no excuses just, listen.” Sam said and Cas looked at him curiously, sipping his own beer. “Whatever you two have going on right now, I just want to say that I’m cool with it. Alright? Neither of you have to lie about things to me, not that you have been,” Sam said and looked at Cas, which earned himself a hard glare from Dean. Cas looked down quickly, knowing he’d had some conversations about Dean and his feelings for him in the past with Sam on days where he’d felt especially lost without his hunter…

“The point is, whatever you decide to do, I support it alright? And I mean it. Just-” Sam looked to Dean, who didn’t look angry as much as he looked shy and apprehensive. Man. This really was hard for him wasn’t it? Sam fell back a bit against the cushioned sofa. Maybe he had already gone too far… “I’ll go see if Jack needs some help…” Sam said and left the booth quickly.

Dean chewed on the inside of his cheek a little, spinning his beer bottle around.

“Dean-” Cas started but Dean turned to him quickly.

“What did you tell him, huh? Have- have you talked to Sam about me? What does that even mean? What-” Dean clenched his jaw in upset. Castiel looked down but nodded a little.

“I might’ve spoken about you at certain pressing times, yes, I just needed to-”

“Nah you know what screw you Cas okay? Screw you and your ‘pressing times’.” Dean got up from his seat and headed to the other side of the bar.

“Dean- Wait-” Cas tried but there was no stopping him now. He buried his face in his hands, sighing deeply. He wasn’t even sure why Dean has gotten so upset. It was hard to ever know why Dean was so upset. Sam watched from the pinball machines, sighing when he saw Dean storm off.

“Great…” Sam muttered to himself, taking a swig of his beer. Jack frowned and looked up at Sam and then back at the scene that Sam was clearly watching.

“Why is Dean leaving Castiel? I thought they were okay now?” Jack asked and Sam shrugged.

“Who knows… I just… I tried to help them but I think I made it worse…” Sam said and bit his lip. Jack looked at Cas and then at Dean sitting by the bar counter instead, already on his second beer and what seemed like a glass of whiskey as well. Suddenly, Cas got to his feet and walked with firm steps towards Dean. “Uh oh.” Sam said and straightened up a bit, keeping a cautious eye their way.

“Dean.” Castiel said and placed a hand on his shoulder. Dean tried to shrug it off and look away, but Cas only tightened his grip and pulled so hard that the barstool spun around so he could look Dean in the eyes. “Dean that’s enough.” Castiel said, his voice husky and firm. “I understand that this is difficult for you. This is difficult for me as well. But I will not allow you to run away. Not this time. Now you come back to the booth and you talk to me properly.” Castiel said and Dean frowned, puffing up his chest and hopping down from the stool.

“Oh yeah? Or you’ll do what huh?” Dean said, holding his arms out for Cas, though a slight tint of blush spread across his cheeks. Cas clenched his jaw.

“Or I’ll /make/ you go back to the booth with me. Stop being ridiculous, Dean. You’re acting like a child. I did not agree to come here only for you to lash out like a baby.” Castiel nearly hissed and Dean frowned.

“Woah woah, /agreed/? I can go anywhere without your permission, /pal/.” Dean said and pushed Cas gently, but it still made him stumble back. Sam took a step forward, but waited still. They could solve this. He believed they could. Castiel tilted his head to the side. If Dean wanted to be petty, so could he. “Excuse me, can I see that?” Castiel told the lady who was clearly watching their interaction eagerly, pointing to her drink. She nodded and Castiel took a firm hold of it before splashing the drink right into Dean’s face.

“Oh God.” Sam breathed out and quickly hurried towards them. Okay. So much for letting it play out on their own. Dean gasped and blinked, wiping his face off with his hand.

“You son of a-” Dean started just as Sam slipped between them and broke their contact.

“Hey hey hey! Break it up! Stop it, Dean.” Sam said firmly, looking back at Cas. “And you too. Throwing drinks what are you, twelve?” Sam said to Cas who looked away shyly and gave the lady her glass back and slipped her some money to order a new drink for herself. Sam sighed. “Okay, outside. Go outside and talk to each other.” Sam said and practically pushed Dean to the door and Castiel followed with heavy steps.

Dean was still wiping off his face, and Castiel walked up behind him, taking off the shirt Sam had given him. “Dean, here let me-” Cas tried but Dean quickly batted his hands away.

“I’m not going to let you do anything, Cas.” Dean said firmly but took the shirt from his hands and wiped his own face. “What did you tell Sam about me?” Dean snapped. Castiel frowned.

“Why does it bother you so much what I said to Sam about you?” Castiel countered and Dean laughed in frustration.

“Because, if you had something to say, why couldn’t you just say it to me directly!?” Dean shouted and Cas stopped for a second. He had sworn not to tell Dean, and definitely not like this, but he couldn’t keep it in any longer.

“Because how am I supposed to tell you how much you mean to me when you’re possessed by Michael!?” Castiel shouted back, unable to keep calm anymore. Dean stopped, looking at Cas sadly and in shock. Castiel panted softly, shaking his head with tears in his eyes. “How am I supposed to tell you when you weren’t there, Dean? You said ‘yes’, without even blinking, and I have been protecting you for years so you wouldn’t have to say yes and then you disappear without me getting to say all these things that I wanted to say to you, and who else could I possibly open up to except Sam!?” Castiel continued, tears spilling over and dripping down his cheeks. Dean looked down, not wanting to see the angel… /his/ angel crying. Castiel sniffled and rubbed the back of his hand over his eyes.

“I wish I could’ve told you, everything I told Sam, Dean. I begged to all the angels, even to God and even Amara in case she was somehow listening in, for someone or something to come help us. Help /me/ get you back so I could tell you all the things I wanted to say. So do not question the reason why I have talked about you to Sam, because you don’t even know half of the reasons why I did.” Castiel finished before burying his face in his hands, sobbing quietly.

Dean stood still in his place, not looking up until a little while later when Castiel’s sobbing had gotten more and more quiet. He walked slowly up to Cas and swallowed thickly.

“I… I didn’t know, Cas. I… I’m sorry.” Dean said and looked back down at his feet. He felt horrible. He felt like he was so caught up in his own world, his own feelings and his own pain that he hadn’t even given Cas’ own grief a thought in all of this. “I know that’s a lame excuse, because I should’ve known I just… Didn’t.” Dean tried, shifting a bit on his feet. Cas wiped his eyes and finally lowered his hands and looked up at Dean.

“I… I don’t blame you, for not knowing. I am just as much to blame for not telling you sooner. But Dean, I’m telling you now, just please…” Cas stopped. He didn’t want this to be the time when he declared his feelings, his love for the hunter. This was not the right time. Dean nodded quickly. He felt the same way, and he walked up to Cas and placed his hands on his shoulders, before moving one of them up to cup Cas’ cheek.

“Okay.” Dean said softly and nodded, smiling a little. “Alright.” He said and nodded once more. “I’m sorry, for, everything. I’m sorry for saying ‘yes’. I’m sorry for disappearing like that even though I know I had no choice.” Dean added quickly when he saw Cas getting ready to tell him it wasn’t his fault. “And I’m sorry for not considering how you must’ve felt in all of this.” Dean said and ran his thumb over Cas’ cheekbone. He smiled once more. It felt like time had stopped for a second, and they just stared into each other’s eyes before Dean finally spoke up again.

“Are you going to forgive me just as quickly as before? I sure hope so.” Dean chuckled a little and Cas couldn’t help but chuckle as well.

“You’re an idiot. And a child. But yes, I forgive you, Dean Winchester.” Castiel sighed and closed his eyes for a moment before opening them back up with a soft spark of grace. Dean nodded, and decided that this time he would consider what Cas wanted before himself.

“So, do you want to leave? Or stay for a bit longer?” Dean asked and Cas was surprised at first before breaking out into a grin.

“Stay. At least for a little bit longer.” Cas agreed with a soft nod.

***

Castiel and Dean walked back inside, Castiel having tied Sam’s shirt around his waist to let it dry off from Dean wiping his face with it, and Dean had opened a few buttons since the buttoned up shirt felt very constricting after that explosion of emotions. Both of them felt lighter though. A lot lighter. Especially Cas. He had been holding things in for so long and now he had finally gotten to express them. He hoped Dean wasn’t overwhelmed, but the hunter didn’t seem overwhelmed. He even held the door open for Cas, and Cas smiled gently at the gesture before returning to the table where Sam and Jack sat anxiously.

Sam looked up between them, able to deduce that Cas had definitely been crying, and Dean had been under pressure judging by his appearance as well. “So… You guys okay?” Sam decided to break the silence, and Cas looked over at Dean who smiled crookedly.

“Yeah, pretty much.” Dean said and took his drink. Castiel nodded agreeingly.

“Yes, your drinks are safe.” Castiel joked which made Dean chuckle softly and sip his beer. Castiel smiled at Dean and then stole the other beer from the hunter and took a sip of it himself.

“Hey, my beer-” Dean started but smiled. “Fine, you can have it.” He said with a smirk at Cas.

Sam relaxed into the sofa, having been on edge and he had been waiting to see an explosion of blue grace light outside of the bar. But it hadn’t happened, and boy was he happy it didn’t. Sam shook his head with a sigh and finished off his beer. “I’m gonna need another one of those…” Sam said and headed off to the bar. 

Castiel smiled at Jack who looked at them both slightly worried. “It’s alright Jack. Everything’s fine.” Castiel explained to him and it made Jack ease up just a little. Dean nodded, putting his beer down.

“Yeah kid, it’s okay.” Dean added, feeling oddly like a second parent to the kid for the first time. He had thought back to how it felt when his mom and dad sometimes fought when he was little. Dean wouldn’t settle until both of them had told him things were alright, whether they were lying or not didn’t matter, really. Jack nodded and smiled softly.

“Alright. Good. Because it’s much nicer when you two are happy together than angry.” Jack noted and sipped his cola Sam had gotten for him.

“I agree.” Cas said and looked over at Dean softly. 

“Yeah, me too.” Dean agreed with a nod and a smile at the angel. Castiel slowly reached under the table, and placed a hand over Dean’s hand ever so slightly, and gave it a soft little squeeze. Dean smiled, and didn’t pull away, instead, he curled his fingers around Cas’, and gave them a soft little squeeze back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, I think this is the longest chapter yet?  
> I didn't plan for it to be this feels-y, but the characters kinda took their own path and I just kinda followed a long...  
> Hence the length of it haha!  
> Hope you like it though!
> 
> Rock on!


	12. A dilemma of angelic proportions

12\. A dilemma of angelic proportions

The evening after that had ran quite smoothly. They had ordered a few more drinks, but nothing too excessive. Mostly because both Sam and Cas were worried about what would happen if Dean got too drunk. It probably wasn’t good for him in his state, so they tried their best to keep it under control.

When Cas had gone to the bar to get them another round of beers, the woman who’s drink he had taken had asked him if everything was alright between the two now. Cas had smiled and nodded, and the woman had playfully replied ‘boyfriends can be such dicks sometimes right?’. Castiel had blushed and nodded, not sure what to reply to that. But he got stuck on one word. Boyfriend. It sounded quite juvenile, but he supposed that perhaps… That was what Dean was now. Or at least, he hoped he was.

***

When they finally came back to the bunker, Dean was swaying slightly on his feet down the stairs. As usual, Castiel had headed to his own bedroom, starting to search for comfier clothes. Not that there was anything wrong with the t-shirt and Sam’s shirt, but he had gotten accustomed to the whole ‘pyjamas’ thing so he usually wore that as well.

It didn’t take long though until Dean stumbled into the bedroom, knocking on the door frame. “Hey, can I crash here tonight?” Dean asked casually. Or at least it would sound that way to any other person that didn’t know Dean. The way he quickly blurted it out, cleared his throat afterwards and held his hand on his hip, all told Cas that he had been very nervous to ask such a thing. The angel smiled though and turned around, looking at Dean softly.

“I thought that was our agreement?” Castiel hummed and smiled wider. Dean nodded and cleared his throat again.

“Yeah- Yeah uh, of course.” Dean said and walked into the bedroom a bit further. Castiel hummed and nodded, turning back to his drawers to find his sweatpants and t-shirt that he usually wore to bed. Dean stood a bit awkwardly in the middle of the room, shifting back and forth on his feet. Castiel didn’t know why he felt extra bold and teasing tonight, but he did know he felt relieved after telling Dean what he had been keeping secret for a long time. Even though their deepest feelings for each other had yet to be shared...

“Are you my boyfriend now Dean?” Cas asked casually, even though he knew very much what he was doing, and what Dean’s reaction would be.

Dean nearly choked on his own saliva, and Castiel could hear how he was shifting and squirming, not sure how to answer that question. Castiel smirked to himself.

“I told the lady at the bar that you were, I hope that was alright?” Castiel continued when Dean didn’t answer. Dean’s cheeks heated up to a bright tomato red colour, and he opened and closed his mouth a few times but still, nothing came out. Castiel then finally turned around and chuckled softly.

“Am I making you uncomfortable, Dean?” Castiel asked with a raised eyebrow and a matching grin, and when Dean saw that, he knew Castiel was yanking his chain, so to speak.

“You’re a jerk.” Dean muttered and crossed his arms. Castiel chuckled.

“Hmm. No, that’s Sam’s line I believe.” Castiel said and walked up to Dean. He slowly cupped Dean’s cheek and stroke it gently. “Even though the word boyfriend is quite juvenile, I think that title would fit you quite well.” Castiel said and Dean looked into his eyes.

“Yeah? You think?” Dean murmured staring down at Cas’ lips for a moment, before looking up at him again. Castiel nodded.

“Yes, I do.” Castiel hummed and stroke Dean’s stubbled chin with his thumb. “But, I knew the reaction you would have to it so I couldn’t pass the opportunity up to tease you if even just a little.” Castiel smirked again and Dean rolled his eyes.

“Thanks. Much appreciated.” Dean murmured and sighed as Cas pulled away. Dean wished he wasn’t so nervous, but it seems that Cas wasn’t very upset about it. The angel just seemed to take it as a part of his personality, which was very nice and… Flattering. He was used to changing himself to fit the person in question, but with Cas, he never had to do that. He could just, be himself. Dean smiled to himself.

“So what, you’re my boyfriend too then?” Dean asked cockily and now it was Cas’ turn to blush. But he did nod quickly though, and smiled softly.

“Yes, yes I am.” Castiel said and began pulling off his t-shirt to get changed. Dean’s eyes widened a bit.

“Woah- hey- hah- I’m still here ya know?” Dean said and turned around and Castiel chuckled.

“Ah, yes, I’ve noticed.” Castiel replied. “And it’s not like you haven’t seen my upper body nude before Dean, I think you can handle it.” Castiel said and looked back at Dean. Dean blushed and nodded. That was true though… But still now it was… Different. Castiel reached for a white t-shirt and pulled it over his head, running a hand through his hair to put it back in place. He untied Sam’s shirt and placed it on top of the dresser before opening the buttons to his trousers. He could hear Dean quickly spinning around to give him privacy, and he cleared his throat softly. “Dean, why don’t you go change and come back when you are ready?” Cas suggested, since it seemed Dean’s tipsy mind was working a bit slower than usual.

“Good idea.” Dean said quickly and practically bolted out of the room. Castiel shook his head fondly to himself, and stepped out of his dress pants and put on the sweatpants swiftly and settled in the bed comfortably. After an evening with such tumult, and loud blaring bar music, the quiet room and the cozy bed was more than welcome to him right now.

***  
Perhaps Dean was a bit more tipsy than he had thought, he realised after falling over two or three times while trying to get out of his jeans. He sat on the bed eventually and shook his head clear, dressing himself without anymore falls.

He hurried back to Cas’ bedroom, glad he didn’t run into Jack or Sam on the way since they had luckily already turned in for the night. He knocked on the door before entering, smiling a little as he saw Cas already laying in bed.

“Hey…” Dean mumbled and closed the door behind himself. Cas smiled.

“Hello. Why… Why is there a bump on your forehead?” Castiel asked with a frown and Dean rubbed it over with his hand, hissing slightly at the pain.

“Uh, I fell over, but I’m okay.” Dean said and then quickly moved to the bed. Castiel sighed and pulled the covers and blanket to the side, inviting Dean in.

“You had too much to drink in the end, I told Sam to stop you but you insisted on another round.” Cas sighed and shifted a bit when Dean joined him. Dean nodded a little, and smiled awkwardly to himself.

“Yeah uh, sorry.” He apologised and Cas smiled.

“It’s alright. We were celebrating after all.” Cas said and Dean looked up at him with a blush. “The hunt?” Castiel added, seeing Dean’s nerves spike again. Dean sighed in relief and nodded.

“Yeah yeah, the hunt. That idiot jerk ghost. He was a hunter ya know? Hunter ghost. Wanting to kill other hunters, what kind of sicko does that?” Dean said, relaxing a bit when he got to talk about something he was familiar with. Dean shifted around in the bed, pulling the covers up high. Castiel shrugged.

“Sounds like a smart jerk ghost to me. He would want to get rid of the hunters so he can still walk the earth, and he knows how to kill them efficiently. But not you. You’re too clever for him.” Cas smiled and Dean smiled back.

“It was bad though… I mean, it got bad. I was out for the count and Sam…” Dean sighed and shook his head. “It didn’t look good either. But then I felt this power surge out of nowhere and then it all just… Exploded into light.” Dean explained, Castiel listening very intensely.

“The grace.” Cas commented and Dean nodded.

“Yeah. I figured it was the grace almost instantly. It didn’t hurt me though. Not until after when my back started burning and- well, you know the rest.” Dean murmured and glanced behind himself. Cas smiled and placed his hand on Dean’s chest and with a fluttering noise, the wings spread out underneath him. Dean gasped a little, and looked at Cas with wide eyes. Cas smiled.

“You were missing them, no?” Castiel said and Dean swallowed before nodding a little. Castiel had felt the longing when Dean had spoken about his wings, and the glance behind him had only confirmed to Cas that this was the right time to help Dean bring them out again.

“That’s good. Means that your bond with your wings are going well. I’ve seen angels have full on battles with their wings, as if they had a life of their own, so I’m glad you’re taking to them kindly.” Castiel explained and moved a bit so Dean’s wings could spread out more. Dean carefully moved to his side to face Cas and to be able to look at his own wing better. He stroke his fingers over his feathers gently. He was still in awe over seeing them, even if they were his own. Castiel smiled as well and reached over, gently stroking his fingertips over the dark feathers.

“How can somebody hate their own wings?” Dean asked, unable to understand how that could be. Castiel shrugged.

“I don’t know. Perhaps some are just not ready to carry the burden of being an angel.” Castiel suggested and looked into Dean’s eyes. Of course Dean wasn’t an angel, not really, but to Cas he was, even before he had gotten his wings. “I know you don’t like it but, you should rest Dean. You’ve had a long day and a long evening, and the alcohol needs to get out of your system.” Cas said carefully, but to his surprise, Dean nodded in agreement.

“You’re right.” He said and shifted around to find a good position. “Can I see yours again, though?” Dean asked softly. He had barely gotten a good look at Cas’ wings, and now he had the chance to look at them close up. Castiel smiled.

A louder flutter was heard and Castiel’s larger wings spread out behind him. Dean looked up at them, his jaw dropping. God they were amazing. Dean looked back at Cas and smiled shyly. 

“Can I try something?” Castiel asked Dean softly, and Dean nodded without even asking what it was he wanted to try. Castiel gently swooped his wing around Dean, cocooning him and pulling him closer to his chest. Castiel’s wings puffed up proudly and pressed Dean against him, sighing contently. The feeling of Dean’s warm body, against his own wings were incredible, and Castiel took a deep breath, taking the rush of feelings in as much as possible.

“Cas-” Dean gasped quietly, not sure what to say. He felt so safe, so nicely held, so protected, and it was kinda hot as well. All at the same time. Cas nodded.

“Good night, Dean.” Cas murmured and Dean leaned against Cas’ chest. He brought one hesitant hand up, glancing up at Cas for approval before running it over the large wing that enveloped him securely. Dean smiled. This. This was awesome.

***

It was a nice lazy morning, Castiel woke up first this time, and moved around a little to wake his body up from his rest. He smiled, realising his wings were still swept around Dean tightly, and the warmth around them were so great that there were some sweat glistening on Dean’s forehead. Castiel reached down, gently stroking the hunter’s forehead with his fingertips, stroking the wetness off gently.

Dean was so beautiful. He was the most beautiful man, or human, that Castiel had ever had the pleasure to look at. There wasn’t a single piece on Dean’s body that he didn’t think was as beautiful as it could be. Granted… He hadn’t seen exactly /everything/ yet, but he had a good idea, that even the places that were still shielded from view, were just as beautiful.

Dean shifted a little, nuzzling against Castiel’s wing. His own wings were still out, but they had flattened themselves to his back and now the only wings enveloping him was his angel’s wings. Castiel blushed, and shivered pleasantly as Dean buried and nuzzled his face against the softest, most downy part of his wings, and he puffed up once again, responding to the touch.

“Dean…? Are you awake?” Castiel asked lowly, as Dean started moving around more and more. Dean smiled to himself.

“What gave it away?” Dean hummed and Castiel smiled.

“You gave it away, by burying your face and nuzzling into my wing.” Castiel chuckled and Dean snorted softly.

“Ah. That. Yeah I can see that being a dead giveaway. But I just can’t stop… I don’t know… It feels so nice…” Dean mumbled and began running his hands through the feathers and curling up closer. Castiel gasped softly at the touch, his cheeks bright red.

“Dean- Easy now…” Castiel mumbled, his voice deep as he reached down to stroke Dean’s cheek. Dean smirked.

“Easy? Hmm, since when have I been known for taking things easy?” Dean teased back and squirmed around a bit before practically hiding under Cas’ wing with a chuckle. Cas rolled his eyes.

“Dean, you are being silly.” Castiel stated, but, he loved it just as much at the same time. It was so precious, and even though so far they had done nothing more than cuddle, this felt even more intimate than anything they had done. Castiel smiled, and just laid there as he watched Dean squirm around and explore, shaking his head fondly. “Dean, you need breakfast to get your day started, I’ll be back soon-” Castiel started but cut himself off with a loud groan.

Castiel pressed his fingers against his temples, squeezing his eyes shut. Angel radio, as Dean put it, and it was intense. It wasn’t until a few seconds of it went by until he heard a louder groan from Dean, who was clutching his temples much the same.

“Dean-” Cas breathed out, watching as Dean squirmed on the bed almost as if he was in pain. A few more seconds went by and then it all went quiet, and Castiel quickly swooped Dean up into his arms. “Dean- Dean are you alright? Dean- did you hear-?” Castiel breathed, holding Dean against his chest who was still clutching his head. Dean shook his head gently and whined a little.

“Just- bits- mostly shrieking loud noises-” Dean breathed out and Castiel’s eyes widened slightly when he saw a trickle of blood seep out of Dean’s ear.

“Shh, it’s going to be alright, you’re okay.” Castiel said quickly and grabbed a nearby t-shirt, holding and dabbing it against Dean’s ear. He held Dean close until he felt the hunter relax in his arms, and removed the soft fabric and tossed it to the side.

“Cas what- what was that? Was that angel radio? But how I- I’m not an angel I shouldn’t be able to-” Dean stuttered and Castiel cupped his cheek, holding his head gently in his hand.

“No, you shouldn’t be able to hear it, but lately it seems you are capable of far more things than we had first thought.” Castiel said softly, looking down into Dean’s eyes. Dean’s wings had disappeared instead of flaring out, the pain had been too intense for any movement of the wings, and Castiel was grateful that the wings hadn’t lashed out. It seemed they were picking up on Dean’s behaviour and movements, which was only positive.

“I only picked up bits, something about heaven and an important issue? And I could’ve sworn I heard the word hunter, or hunt in there.” Dean panted and shook his head a little. Castiel nodded. He had heard the whole message, and he pulled back gently to look at Dean fully.

“It seems heaven is having some sort of issue that they need a hunter to resolve.” Castiel said and nodded. “They requested for my assistance but also that of a hunter. Dean, you have to come with me to heaven.” Castiel said without much thought, and Dean reacted instantly.

Dean nearly shot up from the bed, and backed away slightly from it. “I’m- I’m not going to heaven Cas.” Dean said, the fear in his expression very real. Castiel frowned, standing up from the bed as well.

“Dean, why not? You won’t be going alone you’ll be with me. There are barely any angels left in heaven and if they are having issues- I promised I would help in any way that I could. I am still bound to heaven in a way and-

“I don’t care!” Dean growled out and Castiel flinched. “And you’re not bound to anything! You are here, with me, on earth, and you don’t have to go back up there.” Dean breathed out angrily. Castiel frowned.

“Dean, the matter seemed urgent. They never ask for hunters or any sort of outside help. It is important. And the signal was so intense it even hurt me, Dean. We have to go see what’s happening- Dean-!” Castiel shouted as Dean stormed out of the room and towards the library.

Castiel was quick to storm after, and Sam came out from the kitchen, looking worried when he saw how furious Dean looked.

“What’s going on? Dean?” Sam asked worriedly and Dean glared at his brother.

“What’s going on? Angel radio is what’s going on! So freaking loud my ears began to bleed!” Dean shouted and Castiel walked inside swiftly, holding his hand up.

“Dean, calm down.” Castiel tried but there was no use. Dean shook his head.

“I’m not going to be calm about this! Cas wants to go back to heaven because of some serious issue they are having and they requested a hunter to come with him, and I’m not going! And neither is Cas! It’s too dangerous.” Dean shouted and Sam’s eyes widened a bit.

“A hunter? They asked for a hunter? Have they ever done that before, Cas?” Sam asked and Cas shook his head.

“No, it’s not the usual thing to do, it might’ve happened some time but it’s not common. Which is why this is so important Dean. You’ll be safe. You have my grace and I have it too and we can protect ourselves-”

“What if Michael is there? Hmm? Did you even think of that!?” Dean yelled and Castiel frowned, tilting his head.

“Why on earth would Michael be in heaven, Dean? It’s the last place he would be. If anything, I’m sure he would be in hell instead. Dean, Michael is not up there. Please.” Castiel tried, and also tried to get closer to Dean but he only backed away.

“No! No Cas. I’m not going. I’m not doing it.” Dean said firmly and moved back further away from the angel. Castiel looked down a bit, nodding his head.

“Why… Why don’t I do it then?” Sam said and looked at Cas after a short moment of silence. Castiel looked up at Sam with a frown.

“I… I don’t think that would be a good idea, Sam.” Castiel said and Sam shrugged.

“Why not? They requested /a hunter/. It could be any hunter. Doesn’t have to necessarily be Dean? Look if you think this is important, then we should go. Dean can stay here with Jack in the meantime and-”

Dean interrupted Sam with soft laughter. “Sammy are you hearing yourself? You are /not/ going up to heaven with Cas! Neither of you, are going anywhere!” Dean said firmly and Sam frowned.

“Why not? Because I don’t have grace like you do? Because I don’t have my own wings like you do? Dean, they asked for a hunter. I can go. I’ll be fine. I trust Cas to protect me.” Sam said and smiled at Cas who smiled a little back at him.

“Thank you, Sam. I would trust you to protect me as well.” Castiel said and Dean shook his head.

“This is a bad idea, Cas, please, listen to me? How many times have you listened to heaven before and it has all turned out wrong? Cas I beg you. It’s too dangerous, stay here, with me.” Dean said and Castiel looked into his eyes. “I’m begging you Cas, don’t go. If I mean anything to you, if /this/ means anything to you, then don’t go.” Dean said, pointing between the two of them.

Castiel looked away. It wasn’t fair. Dean couldn’t use their relationship against him in this way when he had no idea what could be happening in heaven. He cared about what happened, not only because he was still an angel, but because anything that could be happening up there, could still strike down on earth. And then he wanted to be ready, to protect his whole family, and Dean, who was more than family now.

“I’m sorry, Dean.” Castiel said quietly and took a hold of Sam’s arm, disappearing with a fluttering sound.

***  
Sam panted softly as he and Cas landed by the playground and the sandbox, looking over at Cas softly. Cas was looking down at the sand, sighing deeply and closing his eyes sadly. Sam smiled a little. “Hey, Cas, he’ll be alright. This is important to you, and he should support that. Support you.” Sam said and Castiel looked back up and shook his head.

“I have very large doubts that he will ever forgive me for this, Sam. But I have to see what is going on up there, if anything only to be ready to save us here on earth if I need to. You understand that, don’t you?” Castiel asked, worried that his true intentions weren’t coming through. Sam smiled though and nodded softly.

“Of course I do. Dean is different, Cas. He’s blinded by both fear and the thought of you getting hurt. He has never been much of a ‘big picture’ sort of guy.” Sam chuckled a little to try to lighten Cas’ mood.

But Castiel just nodded, and stepped up into the sandbox and offered Sam a hand to get in as well.

***  
The white, bright hallways seemed emptier than usual, and Castiel frowned at how quiet everything was. The power going in and out seemed to have stopped for now, which he was pleased to notice.

“Hello?” Castiel called gently, and Sam looked around almost in awe at everything.

“This… This is like, behind the scenes or something? It doesn’t look like mine or… Or Dean’s heaven that we were in before.” Sam said and Castiel nodded.

“I suppose you could say that, yes, behind the scenes.” Castiel murmured quietly as they continued down the hallways.

It was eerily quiet, so the sudden bright pink, purple and blue lights that changed across the walls and the soft sound of old rock music came as quite a surprise to both of them.

Sam frowned, listening to the music. “Is that-” But before Sam managed to finish the sentence, a door opened and the music got louder, and a figure emerged from the room in front of them.

“Ramble on by Led Zeppelin. Yes, most definitely, garish song in my opinion but- Hang on, you’re not Dean. You’re the taller one… What’s the name again… Oh, Sam! Right, right… Why are you here?”

Both Sam and Cas’ eyes widened as they stared at-

“Balthazar. I thought-” Castiel breathed out as he stared at the angel. Balthazar grinned, holding his arms out.

“In the flesh Cassie-boy. Oh, and by the way, no harsh feelings about you killing me and all. I’ve gotten over that. And I’m back. Bigger. Better. Chuck gave me a rather nice promotion.” Balthazar grinned and spread his wings. Castiel’s jaw dropped and he looked at Balthazar in shock.

“You’re- You’re an archangel now? How…” Castiel breathed and if Sam wasn’t confused before, he was even more confused now.

“Chuck- or uh, God, can turn any angel into an archangel?” Sam whispered to Cas and Balthazar closed the door behind him, the music getting muffled once more.

“Well he is God isn’t he? You don’t get that title without some perks.” Balthazar winked and corrected the cuffs on his suit jacket. “Now.” Balthazar clapped his hands together. “Where is Dean?” He asked eagerly and Castiel frowned.

“I… He’s not here. Balthazar, the angel radio you sent out, there was some big issue and… and you needed a hunter. It sounded urgent and… Well unless the music is your issue then I can’t see what that all was about.” Castiel said with a frown, confused.

Balthazar sighed deeply. “Still pretty slow, right, I’ll take it from the start. I had to get your attention. And I had to get you to bring Dean up here. So, naturally, I sent out a very serious message which I know that Castiel himself just couldn’t deny, and I truly thought Dean would come with you, he always follows you like a puppy and vice versa. Especially now that Dean has gotten some special… Powers, am I right?” Balthazar raised a brow at Cas. Sam crossed his arms.

“That still doesn’t explain it Balthazar, what is going on here?” Sam said, getting frustrated. Balthazar sighed and rolled his eyes.

“God, you boys can never appreciate a good story telling can you? Fine. I’ll get to your precious point. You were supposed to bring Dean up here, because he has to register.” Balthazar said simply and Sam frowned.

“Register for what?” Sam huffed and Balthazar smiled.

“Register the fact that he is one of us now. An angel. In the flesh.” Balthazar grinned.

Castiel’s cheeks heated up brightly. “Balthazar, you know Dean is not an angel. He just happened to have some of my grace and it happened to get activated when-”

“When you expelled Michael and blablabla, yes, Cassie, I know. I know alright? It’s not like me and Chuck haven’t kept an eye on you lot, do you really think we’re /that/ stupid?” Balthazar huffed and put his hands on his hips.

“Look, Dean might not be a true angel, but he has enough power, and he has harnessed it greatly already, and that’s enough to be able to register him. Come on Castiel I thought you would be proud! It’s a big thing, it’s almost like, hmm, what can we compare it to in the human world… Graduation? Getting a license to drive? Hmm… Not quite no… It’s much bigger than that... Well, either way. It’s big. And it’s a celebration. Hence the coloured lights and Dean’s favourite song. Well, it’s a tie between this one and that other awful song but this one is more bearable” Balthazar said. “And beyond that door is a few other things prepared, for Dean, of course.” Balthazar smiled.

Castiel wasn’t sure what to think. Now that he had calmed down from the initial nerves, and his fight or flight instinct since he hadn’t known what was going on, yes, he felt proud. He felt proud that Dean had made such an impact that it had resonated up in heaven, and earned him a special spot at the registration. Balthazar waited patiently, watching as Castiel went through everything again. Yes. Quite slow that one. Sam looked between Balthazar and Cas.

“So… This is a good thing?” Sam asked and Balthazar nodded, thinking he might as well talk with the larger brother while Cas worked his feelings through.

“Yes. It is. Well it’s one of those things that are quite precious, but it won’t really affect your brother much in the end. He will be special on the list, not many like him out there, humans with stored grace that is. But it’s mostly done to keep track of all the angels and their angelic importance, plus you get a nice little badge as well.” Balthazar grinned and nodded. Sam nodded and smiled a little and looked at Cas. 

“Cas? You alright?” He asked and Cas nodded slowly, looking up at Balthazar.

“I wish you would’ve just told us the truth through the angel radio to begin with, Balthazar.” Castiel said and Balthazar chuckled.

“Well, what’s the fun in that? I wouldn’t have gotten to see the sneaky Cassie and Sam duo sneak through the hallways of heaven. And that would’ve been quite sad to miss.” Balthazar smirked. Castiel sighed.

“So… If I bring Dean up here-” 

“Yes! Please do. We will have a nice party, I can bring party hats if that’s to Dean’s liking, and he will sign the papers, get his badge, and you can continue your merry ways on earth. If you’re lucky, maybe God himself will make an appearance.” Balthazar winked.

“Alright, chop chop, get to it, go get Dean I’ll be here waiting trying not to drive myself insane by this song going on repeat. Ciao!” Balthazar said and snapped his fingers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was, the greatest thing to write, oh my god.  
> I have no words. I sincerely hope you like this one as much as I do.  
> I keep saying it but, ugh.  
> Seriously, love you guys and all your support!
> 
> Rock on!


	13. Heaven

13\. Heaven

Castiel and Sam were both panting heavily as they suddenly appeared in the bunker library, not used to such a vast teleport.

“Are you alright, Sam?” Castiel said quickly, gripping Sam’s arm since the brother was swaying quite heavily back and forth. Castiel wasn’t as affected of course, but it had still taken the wind out of him a little. Sam nodded, clutching his forehead a bit.

“Yeah- Yeah I’m good.” Sam nodded and sat down on one of the chairs with a groan, leaning his head in his hands. Cas sighed.

“That doesn’t look good to me. It’ll wear off soon.” Castiel promised, laying a gentle hand on Sam’s back.

Suddenly, Dean walked slowly into the library, and Castiel turned and smiled quickly. But it was a nervous smile, and he straightened up a bit to look at Dean properly.

“Hello Dean. We’re back.” Castiel said apprehensively, glancing down at Sam to make sure he was okay before walking towards Dean. Dean cleared his throat and took a step back. Castiel frowned.

“I… Heaven was alright, Dean. Nothing was in danger it was just Balthazar, he’s back and, well he decided to play games as usual and-” Castiel began to ramble and Dean just held up his hand.

“Save it. I don’t care.” Dean said simply and walked past the angel to his brother, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Sam, you alright?” He asked worriedly and Sam nodded.

“Yeah yeah just, being snapped back from heaven kinda takes a toll on you heh.” Sam said with a little smile and rubbed his neck. “Dean, listen, Balthazar just wanted to-”

“/I don’t care/ what he wants to do. In fact, I don’t even care that he’s back.” Dean said and Castiel walked up to him once more.

“Dean, please just listen-”

“Like you listened to me, hmm? Like you listened when I begged and pleaded for you not to go but you still left?” Dean interrupted. Castiel sighed.

“I realised it was a quick decision and that I might’ve not taken your interest into consideration but-”

“Screw you Cas.” Dean said and clenched his hands into tight fists. “Nothing you can say, will make this okay. In fact, you can tell me freaking God was being tortured upstairs, and I couldn’t care less okay? You left. And not only that you took Sam with you.” Dean said and pointed to his brother. “We’re done.” Dean said and stepped away to leave towards the kitchen.

“Oh and one more thing.” Dean said, turning around. “You make this grace go to sleep in my body again because so help me God, I don’t want it anymore.” Dean growled and then hurried into the kitchen.

Castiel frowned, and Sam looked down at the table. Castiel started walking towards the kitchen, but Dean stormed back out as quickly as he had gone inside.

“What were you thinking, Cas?” Dean snapped and Castiel stopped in his steps.

“I was thinking that not only could heaven, my home, be in danger, but our lives here on earth could be in danger as well. Our family. You, Dean. And I wouldn’t let that happen.” Castiel said firmly and stood his ground. Dean gritted his teeth.

“Cas, /this/ is your home. Not heaven.” Dean huffed and Castiel squinted.

“I am still an angel Dean. I have responsibilities.” Castiel snapped back and Dean licked his lips angrily. Sam looked at both of them and stood up from the table, his legs almost giving out at first but he managed to stand tall.

“Guys, calm down. Both of you okay?” Sam sighed and Dean huffed out a laugh.

“Calm down? No. And sit down, you look like you’re about to fall over. And who’s fault is that?” Dean grumbled and looked at Cas. Castiel took a step forward and Dean took a step back. The angel sighed.

“Dean. Stop it. I had to leave, I had to see what was going on and if you just calm down for one second and let me explain-”

“There’s nothing to explain Cas! I don’t care! What part of I don’t care don’t you understand? You’re not /that/ stupid!” Dean shouted, Jack flinching as he peeked into the library. Castiel breathed deeply.

“Fine.” Cas said and turned on his heel, storming off to his bedroom. Dean clenched his jaw and leaned against the wall, looking at Sam who had indeed taken a seat once again.

Dean was so incredibly angry and upset. He felt let down, defeated, and like he couldn’t trust Cas ever again, no matter what lame excuses he came up with for what he had done. He just didn’t care anymore. Not about Cas at least, but his brother he did care about just as much as before.

“How are you feeling Sammy?” Dean asked and walked towards him slowly. Sam sighed.

“I’m fine just, jet-lagged. Or whatever. Dean please, if you don’t want to listen to Cas, then at least listen to me okay?” Sam said and Dean was about to protest before sitting down in the other chair by the table.

“Why should I listen?” Dean said and looked at Sam with raised eyebrows. Sam sighed.

“Because it’s about you.” Sam said and Dean frowned.

“About me? What about me?” Dean asked and looked up at Sam through his lashes. Sam sighed once more, fiddling with a piece of paper that laid on the table. This wouldn’t end well. “Sammy?” Dean coaxed and Sam nodded.

“Balthazar had prepared… A party, I guess. Or what the angels think a party looks like. It was prepared for you Dean and it was meant to be a ceremony to get you registered as an angel. Or at least, a human with angelic powers.” Sam explained lowly and looked up at Dean. Dean couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“What?” Dean breathed out with a sceptic look on his face. Sam nodded and looked back down at the table.

“Yeah… It’s like… I don’t know? A big deal. Cas was all proud and… I think he was excited to tell you. I mean, Balthazar had thought you would come with Cas so everything was ready for you to arrive but, then I came along, and he hadn’t expected that so…” Sam shrugged.

“So what? Ceremony not happening?” Dean said and Sam looked up at him again.

“Well, no, it is happening just, you need to be there, obviously.” Sam said and Dean let out a breathy laugh.

“Are you kidding me? Registration? Ceremony? Do you even think I would in my right mind ever consider something like that? Just the thought of it makes me feel- I don’t know- /Dirty/? Filthy? Awful? I don’t know if I know enough synonyms to those words to even begin to explain to you how that makes me feel, Sammy.” Dean said and Sam cleared his throat, his eyes having wandered to Cas who had slowly entered the library once again, hearing what Dean was saying.

“Dean, I think-” Sam said, trying to make his brother stop.

“No, you think nothing Sam. You know what they’re trying to do? They are just trying to add a Winchester to their list. Anything to save their precious little heaven. Well I’m not buying it, and heaven is not even on my top priority list of things to save if I don’t have to. Only if it came crashing down on our heads would I lift a finger to do something about it. Angels are dicks, and they will always be dicks and they think of no one but themselves and how to save their own skin, or feathers. I can’t wait for Cas to put the grace to rest or whatever, anything so I don’t have to feel it anymore.” Dean finished and opened a beer he had fetched during his short time in the kitchen.

Sam squirmed awkwardly and looked up at Cas behind Dean’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry to hear you feel that way, Dean.” Castiel said softly, making Dean flinch and look behind himself. Dean swallowed and blushed a bit, looking down at the table. Castiel looked down as well, feeling defeated. “I didn’t think my grace was making you feel /filthy/, nor did I know that heaven evoked such strong feelings of disgust within you Dean.” Castiel said, his voice steady, but filled with sadness.

Dean chewed a bit on the inside of his cheek, but nodded. “Yeah well, now you know.” Dean said simply, his voice hoarse. Castiel nodded.

“Now I know.” Castiel said and slowly turned back around. “And, for the record, your grace is too strong now and I won’t be able to simply put it to rest. It has manifested itself deeply, your wings would’ve never emerged unless it had grown this strong. There’s nothing I can do. I’m sorry.” Castiel finished and began walking to the hallway that lead to his bedroom.

Dean watched Cas go before looking back towards Sam, taking a swig of his beer. Sam looked like a puppy that had been kicked around on the floor, and Dean sighed deeply.

“What? You can say whatever you want Sam, won’t change a thing.” Dean said and sipped his beer again. Sam nodded.

“I know it won’t. Which is why I’m not going to say anything. I’m speechless.” Sam said simply and got up from the table. Sam was surprised at how Dean could so easily treat Cas like that now, and he was surprised by the things he had said. “I’m going to go lay down a bit. See you at dinner time.” Sam said and left Dean alone by the table in the library.

Dean let out a soft snort, sipping his beer again. Of course a part of him felt like crap for what he had said, but another part of him was so angry and upset, that right now, that part was winning over the other.

“Do… Do you think I’m dirty and filthy too? Since I’m an angel as well?” Jack suddenly spoke quietly behind Dean. Dean sighed and closed his eyes.

“Would you feel better if I said no?” Dean said simply and Jack shook his head.

“No, because I would know that you were lying.” Jack replied before turning around and running out of the library.

***

Castiel laid on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He felt… Empty. He tried to think that, Dean couldn’t have possibly meant everything that he had said. Dean was just angry. Upset. Disappointed. Cas had seen the way Dean had reacted to the wings. In awe. Happy. He had seen how he had taken to the grace. Happily. Amazed. Excited. No, Dean’s words couldn’t be true… But no matter how much he forced himself to think that way, it was difficult to feel convinced.

There was a knock on the door, and Cas looked up a little. “Yes?” He murmured and Jack slowly opened the door. He was looking down at the floor, clearly upset.

“I feel sad Castiel.” Jack said and Cas sat up slowly, nodding his head.

“I feel sad too.” Cas said and held out a hand for Jack. “It’s alright. What Dean said it’s… It’s alright to feel sad because of it.” Cas said and pulled Jack to sit down on his bed. He wrapped an arm around his shoulder, giving him a gentle hug. Jack sighed.

“Does he really hate us that much? All the angels? And heaven too?” Jack asked and Castiel sighed deeply, looking down at the floor.

“I… I don’t know Jack. I don’t… I don’t believe so but you have to understand that Dean’s relationship with angels and heaven have been anything but good throughout his life. And as much as I wish I could change all of it, I can’t.” Cas said and looked back up at Jack. “But what we can do, is be supportive, and show him that not all angels are… Dicks. And that heaven can be a wonderful place if it’s run well. Alright?” Cas said and smiled at Jack.

He believed in his words, but a part of him only said those things to placate Jack and make him feel happier. Jack couldn’t see through it, and thus a smile spread across his lips.

“Right.” Jack said and chuckled softly. “I mean, he likes you, and me, and that’s already two angels that he knows he likes. And I’m sure you could show him that heaven can be nice too, Castiel.” Jack said and smiled at Cas. Cas chuckled softly and shook his head.

“We’ll see.” Cas replied and patted Jack’s back gently.

***

Dean had been sitting in the library, just as Sam had left him, thinking. The thinking only made him feel worse about what he had said, and it didn’t really make things easier at all. But he couldn’t forgive Cas. He just couldn’t. Not after leaving like that. Not after he had begged Cas not to. When it meant so much to him. How could he ever trust the angel again? What if he said no some other time and Cas would just ignore him completely? No. He couldn’t trust him. Even if he wanted to, more than anything.

Eventually, it was getting close to dinner time, and Dean decided to go get them some pizza. He loathed not being able to get delivery, but getting things delivered to the bunker wasn’t exactly the greatest idea.

“I’m going out!” Dean called out into the empty bunker. “As if anyone would care where I went…” Dean mumbled quietly to himself as he pulled on his green military style jacket, and headed out to the Impala.

It would be a quick drive, just to get pizza and then home. He didn’t feel like cooking, and Sam needed to rest after Cas had just taken him with him without- Dean stopped himself, feeling his grip getting tighter around the wheel as he thought about it all. His knuckles started to get white and he took a few deep breaths before willing himself to relax.

When Dean pulled up by the pizza place, his phone started ringing in his pocket. He fished it up and frowned at the screen. Cas.

“What?” Dean answered simply and stopped outside of his car, leaning against the hood.

“Dean? Where are you? Are you hurt?” Castiel spoke quickly into the phone. Dean huffed.

“Why do you care?” Dean said and could almost hear Castiel’s frustration through the phone.

“I care- Dean. Where are you?” Castiel asked once more and Dean sighed.

“I’m out getting us some pizza for dinner okay? The food ain’t gonna cook itself alright? I’ll be back in twenty minutes or so.” Dean said and there was a silence on the phone line.

“You should’ve told me you were leaving.” Castiel murmured and Dean laughed.

“Oh yeah? Why? Why does it matter? You know what, I’ve had enough of this, don’t call me okay?” Dean said and hung up, disregarding Cas’ voice saying ‘Dean’ over and over into the phone.

Dean shook his head. “Asshat.” He muttered and headed into the pizzeria, ordering what they usually get every time they have pizza for dinner.

***

When Dean made it back to the bunker, he headed to the kitchen with the pizzas, sighing softly. He wasn’t looking forward to this. He wasn’t looking forward to anything, really. When he entered, Sam was already sitting by the table with Jack, and Cas was setting the table, putting out plates and knives and forks for everyone. Dean didn’t say anything, he simply placed the pizza boxes on the table and took the top one, knowing it was his own.

“Rest is yours.” Dean said simply before leaving the kitchen, having no interest in sitting by the table and sharing his meal with his so called family.

During the car ride, Dean had managed to build up some anger towards Sam as well. Silence never benefited Dean when he was already furious about something. It just gave him more time to get angry over more things. And Sam stupidly going along with Cas, even though he had little choice, was now part of his anger as well.

And damn Jack for making him feel guilty as heck.

Castiel looked up at Sam before reaching for the boxes slowly, opening one after another and handing them over to Sam and Jack, his own pizza being on the bottom of the pile. Castiel wasn’t really hungry. He never really was but, it was almost like he had trained his body to eat at certain times. So even if hunger wasn’t what he felt, a longing to share a meal with the people he loved always came at the right times during the day. But not this evening. He picked out a slice and carefully cut into it on his plate, barely taking a nibble.

Sam was hungry, so he ate his pizza quite happily, but he could see how much pain Cas was in, and it made him feel as if he had a deep dark pit in his stomach.

“Hey, Cas, he’ll simmer down. Eventually.” Sam said and Castiel nodded.

“Perhaps.” Cas replied with a soft smile at Sam, before pushing his plate away.

Jack was eating as well, but stopped when he saw that Cas stopped eating too. “Can I be excused?” Jack asked Sam and Sam nodded with a smile.

“Of course, yeah.” Sam said and Jack nodded, standing and leaving for his room swiftly. Castiel sighed and rubbed his forehead, not knowing what to do. How is he supposed to even begin to ask for Dean’s forgiveness? And even though part of him felt guilty, another part of him felt like he was right for leaving. He had just wanted to keep everyone safe. But apparently Dean couldn’t see it that way.

***

Dean had finished one and a half slice before he tossed the box to the side, laying down on the bed instead. Sometimes, eating when angry was a good stress relief, but sometimes the anger was so high up that it caught in his throat and made it impossible to eat. This time, it was one of those times. Dean sighed and closed his eyes, trying instead to somehow fall asleep.

He squeezed his eyes tightly. Letting out a deep sigh. He picked up his pillow and pushed it over his head as he laid on his stomach. He frowned.

Why was someone in the bunker playing ‘Ramble on’ by Led Zeppelin? Sam absolutely hated that song, so it couldn’t be him. Maybe Cas as a sign of forgiveness? Screw that. And Jack barely listened to music anyway...

Dean opened his eyes, frowning as he saw nothing of course, the pillow still blocking his view. 

“Wakey wakey!” A voice cheered and Dean’s eyes widened, and he threw his pillow off his head and sat up in his bed.

Or what he thought was his bed. In what he thought was his bedroom. But it was neither of those things.

Balthazar smirked. “You took your time Dean, and even in heaven, time is precious.” Balthazar said with a soft chuckle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, there might've been some more faults than usual in this piece of text, but I get so upset reading this and I can't make myself read through it again haha.  
> Oh well, I hope you enjoyed this angst. I sure as hell did not and I'm still upset.
> 
> But still...
> 
> Rock on...


	14. In sickness and in health

14\. In sickness and in health

Dean was panting heavily as he stepped out of the bed that most definitely wasn’t his anymore. He looked around the brightly pink, purple and blue coloured room, the music still going, and on a table there were several piles of his favourite burger and his favourite pies. Dean frowned and then looked up at Balthazar, grace blazing in his eyes.

“Ooooh, grace-eyes, I’m so frightened.” Balthazar teased, Dean’s eyes actually lit up with grace, the anger flaring inside of him.

“Balthazar.” Dean growled and Balthazar rolled his eyes.

“Come on now, don’t be like this Dean. Look, I know your boyfriend Cassie isn’t here right now, but I simply just need a signature from you Dean. It’s a quick process, won’t hurt a bit… Probably. And did Cas tell you there’s a badge involved? Very pretty.” Balthazar said and turned around to get the papers from what looked like a plain desk.

“Are we in heaven?” Dean asked and Balthazar rolled his eyes.

“Took you that long to figure it out did it? Oh well, perhaps you are even slower than dear old Castiel.” Balthazar said and held out a paper and a pen. “Here you go, just sign on the shimmering pretty line right there, and I’ll send you home complete with a care package of those hideous burgers and tooth achingly sweet pies. What do you say hmm?” Balthazar said and stroke his hands together eagerly.

Dean took a step back. “I say ‘no’.” Dean huffed and took another step back. “Bring me back home Balthazar.” Dean said in the most threatening voice he could manage. Which was hard, since deep down, he was terrified right now. Alone. In heaven. Completely alone. Defenseless. If something happened, he would not be able to survive. Dean swallowed thickly. Balthazar sighed.

“Look, I know this wasn’t quite the way I intended for this to go but you left me no choice Dean. You were supposed to come up with Castiel the first time and it would’ve been a lovely time but instead you sent your moose of a brother and then you just didn’t show up! I had to grab you on my own, Dean. Don’t you see that?” Balthazar tried and Dean clenched his jaw tightly together.

“First of all, I didn’t /send/ Sam with Cas. Cas… Stole him.” Dean said and Balthazar frowned. “Second of all, I’m not signing your damn paper!” Dean shouted, the music stopping suddenly. Balthazar tilted his head.

“Now now, come on Dean. It’s just a signature. You will get a badge, you will be on our list. It’s just for control purposes. It’s actually an honor. It’s just as great as any of the military things your father ever did, look at it that way-”

“Don’t you dare talk about my dad.” Dean growled and took a step forwards, now causing Balthazar to back up, his hands up in front of him.

“Alright alright, I’m sorry. I was just trying to make you understand how valuable this is.” Balthazar said and Dean huffed.

“Valuable? It’s valuable to have me on some angel list so whenever there’s a little crisis you can just zap me here and I need to fix it for you? Yeah, sounds real valuable.” Dean said and Balthazar sighed.

“Okay. Clearly you haven’t listened to Castiel, or Sam, or whoever tried to explain this for you. This is not a contract of any kind. It’s simply, a registration process to keep track of every angel, or human with angelic powers, which by the way, you are the only one.” Balthazar explained and sighed. “It’s not some ‘for duty’ list. It’s an honor to be on this list. Can you get that through that thick skull of yours?” Balthazar muttered, getting a bit impatient.

Dean looked around himself, there must be a way out of this. He saw a door behind himself, at the far end of the room and began walking. Balthazar groaned.

“Now where are you going? You can’t just /leave/ heaven through a door!” Balthazar called after Dean and Dean huffed in response.

“I can try!” Dean yelled and started yanking at the door handles. Another yank. And another. Perhaps a push? A firm push. Hell he put his whole body weight into it but the doors wouldn’t budge. Balthazar suddenly appeared beside him.

“Now now, easy does it.” Balthazar teased. “Just. Sign. It. And I’ll send you home.” He said and held the paper out for Dean. Dean shook his head.

“I said, no. Send me back. Now.” Dean demanded, his eyes lighting up once again. Balthazar sighed.

“I can’t do that I’m afraid. Not without a signature.” Balthazar said simply now and sat down on the edge of the bed. Dean crossed his arms.

“So what? You are going to force me to stay in heaven until you get your damn signature? That’s real nice isn’t it? The moment Cas realises I’m gone, he-”

“He won’t realise a thing, Dean. I froze time on earth, no biggie.” Balthazar shrugged and Dean blinked.

“You- What-” Dean said, feeling his heart sinking. If no one realised he was gone… Then no one would come looking for him. He was truly, fully, alone. Dean’s face fell a bit, and he felt nearly paralyzed with fear. Balthazar frowned at the display before him.

“Hmm.” He hummed, not sure what to say. He hadn’t meant to scare Dean. Well, not to the point that he looked sick with it like he looked right now. Balthazar rubbed his face with his hand tiredly. “Just one signature Dean. You can do it. Just, write your name, and I can send you home.” Balthazar said, his voice a bit softer. Dean barely moved, and he didn’t look up at the archangel either. Balthazar frowned, gently poking Dean’s shoulder. “Hello? Heaven to Dean?” He frowned deeper and walked off to the table and hopped up onto it, sitting down and just observing Dean. Fascinating.

“I didn’t stop time in heaven did I?” Balthazar mused to himself, looking around at the room. Dean swallowed thickly.

“You are all sons of bitches do you know that?” Dean nearly whispered and Balthazar smiled.

“Ah, there he is.” He said and hopped off the table, paper in hand. “Come on now.” He smiled and held the paper and pen out for Dean.

Dean looked at the paper and the pen, slowly taking it in trembling hands. Balthazar watched silently as Dean slowly put the paper down on the table, and started signing it. The archangel smiled when Dean was finished, taking the paper and it suddenly vanished in a big blast of glittering golden light. Dean shielded his eyes with his arm, the light shining so bright he was afraid his eyes would burn out, and the pressure of it making it hard to take a full breath.

“That wasn’t so hard was it?” Balthazar said once the light faded and dusted his hands off, clearly unfazed by the big ball of light explosion that had just occurred. He placed a hand on Dean’s shoulder. “Congratulations and- Oh I almost forgot!” Balthazar said and fished out a golden badge from his pocket. He gently pinned it onto Dean’s shirt on his chest, patting it gently. “I guess this will show ol’ Cassie where you were huh?” Balthazar said and winked. “Ta for now!” Balthazar said and snapped his fingers.

***

In the blink of an eye, Dean was back in his bed in his room. Along with a big pile of burgers and pie of course, as promised. His whole body trembled, and he sat up, completely covered in sweat. He leaned over and grabbed the nearest trash can and couldn’t help himself as he began to vomit into it. He wasn’t sure if it was the teleportation, or the sheer fear that he had experienced that was what pushed him over the edge, but here he was, hunched over it like there was no tomorrow.

He heard a knock on the door, but when he didn’t answer and only leaned over the trash can once more, the door flung open and Cas’ eyes widened.

“Dean! Dean are you ill? Was it the pizza? Dean-” Castiel rushed towards him and placed a hand on his back. He flinched. Dean was drenched in sweat, and he felt cold and warm all at the same time. “Sam!” Castiel shouted and Sam ran as quickly as he could to Dean’s bedroom.

“What the hell-” Sam breathed and walked up to Dean, watching as Cas tilted his head up. Dean was pale, even his lips had lost all their colour and his eyes were slightly rolled back into his skull. Castiel gasped.

“Sam, run him a cold bath, he’s burning up.” Castiel said and quickly took Dean in his arms, and lifted him up and started rushing him to the bathroom. Sam ran to the bathroom before them, and started running the water as cold as possible.

“Cas, what’s wrong?” Sam asked, watching as Dean shivered when the cold water hit his body.

“I- I don’t know-” Cas winced in worry as he watched Dean’s head limply hang to the side. “Dean? Dean!” Castiel tried, stroking his cheek gently.

But suddenly, Sam frowned, pointing at Dean’s chest. “Cas… What’s that?” Sam asked, pointing at the shiny golden badge.

“What’s what Sam?” Castiel breathed out before paying attention to where Sam was pointing. Castiel froze. “No it- It can’t be…” Castiel breathed out, his own face going pale. Sam swallowed heavily.

“It’s- It’s the badge isn’t it? The one Balthazar talked about? But- when? We were just sitting by the table eating only seconds ago, and Dean had just left for his room and- and-” Sam stuttered, feeling panicked. Dean had been in heaven all on his own?

Castiel held Dean’s body up gently, cupping his cheek. Dean would never forgive him if that was the case. He felt an ache start in his chest that only grew stronger as Dean failed to react to any of his touches or shakes. “I- I sensed some disturbances, I didn’t realise, Balthazar must’ve shifted time or- or stopped it or- something-” Castiel stuttered after gathering himself for a moment, stroking Dean’s cheek gently. “Dean, Dean can you hear me?” Castiel tried and Sam bit his lip.

“Cas, why is he so ill? We went up to heaven and I- I came down just fine. I mean, I was a bit wobbly because my legs were like jelly and I had a headache but- nothing like this.” Sam said and Castiel shook his head.

“I- I don’t know. I wish I knew just- Dean?” Castiel said, desperation in his voice. Jack soon came to the bathroom as well, his eyes widening as he saw Dean in the bathtub.

“Dean?” Jack said worriedly and walked up closer to Sam and Cas. “What’s- What’s wrong with him?” Jack stuttered and Sam looked up at him.

“We… We don’t know yet. We’re working on it. Right now we’re just trying to get Dean to respond to us. He was taken to heaven, Balthazar must’ve stopped time.” Sam said, not able to believe it himself but it was what Cas had said so it must be true. Jack nodded.

“I felt something. By the dinner table. It felt strange. Was that Balthazar stopping the time?” Jack asked and Cas nodded.

“I believe so. Jack, go get Dean some water alright?” Castiel said and Jack nodded, rushing out of the bathroom to get a bottle of water.

Castiel sighed, watching Dean, before suddenly-

“Smiting sickness.” Castiel said and looked up at Sam. Sam frowned.

“Smiting… Sickness? What’s that?” Sam asked and Castiel sighed.

“A big event with a lot of grace or energy can leave a mark. A trail that is very strong that humans are affected by. It’s almost like poison and it can poison a whole area if it’s released on earth.” Castiel explained, remembering the event with Amara that had made Dean sick to the point that Castiel had told him to turn back before he got hurt even more.

“Alright, but can’t you just, heal him? If it’s an angel thing?” Sam said quickly and Cas shook his head.

“I… There’s no healing from this. Usually if you just stay away from the area that is affected, you heal up and the sickness stops.” Castiel explained. Sam frowned.

“But, Cas, there’s /no/ angel energy, poison, thing, around here. How can it be that sickness then?” Sam said and Cas sighed.

“Some big release of energy must’ve happened up in heaven when Dean was there. Perhaps when he signed the paper which he clearly did, otherwise he wouldn’t have his badge. And Dean stayed long enough in it and then got teleported straight to earth, it must’ve taken its toll on him.” Castiel said and shook his head. “If I had been there, I would’ve been able to protect him from it.” Castiel said, lowering his head a bit.

Sam turned off the water since it was filled all the way up to Dean’s chest, just about grazing the badge on his shirt. “So, what do we do now?” Sam asked and Cas sighed.

“We wait.” Castiel responded quietly.

***

Castiel waited by Dean’s side, the bottle of water Jack had fetched sitting by the sink untouched. It had been about an hour now, with Dean being completely out, and Castiel was getting worried. He was also getting angry. Angry at Balthazar for overstepping his boundaries and taking /his/ Dean up to heaven without him. Balthazar should’ve known about whatever impact that had happened in heaven, and he should’ve known better to either protect Dean himself, or let Cas be up there to protect him instead.

Castiel sighed, sitting on the floor and leaning against the bathtub, one hand gently holding Dean’s and stroking it softly as a form of contact, anything to keep a bond between them.

Suddenly, he felt Dean’s fingers twitch and he looked up quickly. “Dean? Dean.” Castiel breathed and got up to his knees. Dean grunted and slowly moved his head a little, breathing faster and faster. “Dean, you’re alright, you’re home, you’re safe.” Castiel murmured, and watched as Dean’s eyes slowly started to blink open.

They looked bloodshot, and grey, they looked terrible and very far from the beautiful bright green they usually displayed. Castiel moved closer to the tub, placing his hands on Dean’s cheeks to hold his head up. “Dean? Can you hear me?” Castiel tried, and watched as Dean’s eyes slowly tried to focus on him.

“Sa-Sam-Sammy-” Dean’s voice was raspy and closer to a whisper than his usual deep voice. Castiel blushed and looked to the door.

“Sam! Sam! Dean has woken up!” Castiel called, looking down slightly when he realised that Dean didn’t want him at all. He didn’t want him to be there, he wanted his brother. Of course. Naturally. Castiel was an angel and only reminded him of his recent visit up to heaven. Castiel pulled back a little, the sleeves of his white shirt soaked up to his shoulders.

Sam came storming into the bathroom, and Cas moved out of the way so Sam could kneel by the bathtub instead. 

“Dean? Dean, what happened? Can you talk? How are you feeling?” Sam stuttered, cupping Dean’s cheeks. Castiel waited patiently, standing behind Sam even though he wished he could be closer to Dean, to hold him in his arms and to help soothe him. Dean coughed a little and let out a whimper.

“I- Balth-azar-” Dean groaned, his eyes blinking and squeezing shut in pain. Sam nodded quickly.

“Yeah, yeah Dean we know we figured it out. You’ve been out for like an hour or more.” Sam said and looked into his brother’s bloodshot eyes. “We know. Balthazar took you to heaven, he must’ve stopped time here on earth to make us not notice it. We know, Dean. But you’re here now, and you’re safe. But we need to know what happened up there, to know why you’re ill. Cas says you might have smiting sickness, but it’s hard to tell. Was there a big blast of energy or grace or something when you were up there with Balthazar?” Sam asked, his eyes big and worried.

Dean swallowed thickly before he nodded. “B-Buck-” Dean tried and Sam frowned.

“What? I don’t-” Sam started but in a split second Cas held out a nearby bucket and Dean instantly heaved into it.

“He needed a bucket, Sam.” Cas said lowly and folded down the toilet seat and sat down, holding the bucket up for Dean. He gently reached over, and stroke a hand through Dean’s wet hair. He couldn’t help it. Even if Dean didn’t want him close he needed to touch him, to show him he was there for him. Dean pulled back after a few seconds and moved back into the tub, groaning deeply.

“There was- blast- signed the- paper-” Dean grunted, clutching his stomach. “Big- Blast- light- couldn’t breathe-” Dean tried to explain and Cas nodded.

“There must’ve been some sort of grace release after Dean signed the registration papers. If… If I had been there I would’ve been able to protect Dean with my wings but… Since I was not, it was Balthazar’s duty. But I suppose he didn’t know what would happen. He has not been an archangel for long and has probably not registered anyone before Dean.” Castiel said and Sam huffed.

“That’s not an excuse.” Sam said and Cas shook his head.

“No, it isn’t, but it’s the only one we can rely on until we can ask Balthazar himself what happened.” Castiel murmured and looked at Dean.

Dean was beginning to slip away again, but had started to shiver from the cold bath. “We can probably take him out now, and move him back to his bedroom. He’ll rest better there.” Cas said and nodded softly, standing up to get Dean some towels.

He tried to be practical. He had to be. If he wasn’t being practical about Dean, Cas was sure his heart would burst into a million pieces, and his anger would take over and he would go to heaven himself and kill Balthazar again if he had to. No. Being practical was the best option right now. Dean didn’t need him to leave again, even if it was for revenge purposes. Castiel would get his revenge, he promised himself he would.

***  
Castiel left Sam and Dean on their own, letting Sam take care of Dean was probably the best option as of now. Castiel went to Jack, to tell him the news that Dean was awake at least because he knew the boy was worried about him. He had to stop Jack, and tell him that right now wasn’t the time for a visit even though he wanted to see Dean desperately. They would have to be patient, both of them.

“Is it because we’re angels? And Dean hates us even more now?” Jack had said, his expression a mixture of sadness and anger. He just wanted Dean’s approval, and the treasured time he’d had with the hunter playing cards were starting to slip away from him when he realised he might never have that again.

Castiel tried to explain that they couldn’t hold this against Dean, and that they had to be patient, but Jack wouldn’t have any of it. He curled up into his bed and sobbed quietly, wiping the tears from his eyes.

“Go!” Jack shouted at Castiel once he tried to comfort him, and the angel realised he was not welcome here either.

***

“Alright, there we go. Do you need anything?” Sam asked as he managed to tuck Dean into bed, all dried off and comfortably dressed. Dean shook his head, looking up at Sam tiredly. Sam sighed, frowning a bit when he spotted a pile of burgers and pies, and realised it must’ve been yet another joke from Balthazar. “I’ll get rid of all that for you.” Sam said and put it in the trashcan, sweeping it off from the table.

“Just… Keep Cas away. Don’t want to talk to him.” Dean murmured tiredly and Sam sighed.

“Look, Dean,” Sam turned around and clenched his jaws worriedly. “Cas cares about you, more than anything, and it’s killing him right now that you won’t let him near you. This wasn’t his fault he just-

“Not his fault? Are you out of your min-” Dean tried but a coughing fit interrupted him and Sam rushed to his side, opening the bottle of water and gently helping Dean to drink.

“I know you think this is his fault, but he couldn’t have known Balthazar was just going to take you like that. He couldn’t. He just wants to be here for you and be close. He- You know-” Sam tried but lowered his head. “He belongs to you. And you belong to him. And I know it’s hard to see that right now but-”  
“Sam. Please. Keep him. Away.” Dean said firmly and looked into his brother’s eyes, and Sam couldn’t do much else other than sigh and nod.

“Alright. I’ll keep him away, if that’s what you want.” Sam said and got up from the bed after making sure Dean was settled with his water and his pillows.

***

“Cas?” Sam called as he walked through the hallways, finding the angel down in the library. “Hey. Dean looks a little better. He could talk much better now and he seemed less weak. I think it’s wearing off slowly but surely.” Sam said and Cas nodded, looking down at his clenched hands.

“That’s good.” Castiel replied. “And don’t worry, Sam, I understand that I’m not welcome anywhere near Dean, you don’t have to tell me to stay away.” Cas said, able to tell by the awkward look on Sam’s face that he had something difficult he wanted to say. Sam sighed a little.

“I… I tried to tell him that he should let you in but he wouldn’t listen…” Sam murmured and Cas nodded.

“I know. It’s alright.” Castiel said and sunk down into the chair. It didn’t come as a surprise, but it hurt just as much nonetheless. But Dean needed space, and thus he would give him the space he needed.

***

Nighttime rolled in and Castiel still sat in the chair in the library. Jack seemed to have fallen asleep, and Sam had turned in as well after a last check up on Dean. Dean had been sleeping soundly, and was looking much less pale but still worn out.

Castiel sighed and folded out his wings silently, and wrapped himself in them to try to get some rest.

***

Come morning, Castiel stirred a little, his wings trembling slightly at their cramped state clutched so tightly to his body. It was early, too early, and no one was awake yet, not even Sam.

Which was why Castiel was more than surprised to feel something nudge against his wing.

“Hey.” Dean’s voice rumbled behind the angel. Castiel’s eyes widened and he quickly unfolded his wings and tucked them away, standing and turning around to see Dean hunched over on the chair beside him.

“Dean- Are you alright? Come here-” Castiel said quickly and gently swept an arm around Dean’s torso to help hold him up. “You- You should be in bed. What are you doing up?” Castiel said, gently coaxing Dean to sit down on the chair before him. Dean shrugged.

“Coughing fit. Woke me up.” Dean murmured and Castiel sat down beside him on another chair.

“Do you want me to get Sam?” Castiel asked, knowing that Dean didn’t really want his presence right now. Dean looked down, but slowly shook his head.

“No… I just… Wanted some more water and maybe something light to eat… I feel kinda hungry… Didn’t have any dinner last night… And I saw you sitting here and I… I don’t know…” Dean mumbled, stumbling on his words and still keeping his gaze down, unable to meet Cas’ eyes with his own. Castiel nodded.

“I can get you anything you need, Dean. But I think it’s better if you go back to bed.” Castiel said and Dean coughed a little.

“Alone?” Dean asked and glanced up at Castiel.

Castiel tilted his head. “Not if you don’t wish to be.” Castiel replied with a frown.

Dean shrugged. “I’d rather not be. Alone. Company would be… Nice. Maybe a movie…” Dean said and Castiel couldn’t help but smile just a little.

Castiel knew he wasn’t forgiven, and he didn’t expect to be no matter what he thought about his own decision he had made of going to heaven. He understood why Dean had been so very against it, and he was more than sorry for the choice he had made, and even though he wished he could change everything that had happened, he couldn’t.

“We can do that. Watching a movie is always a wonderful time with you.” Castiel dared to say and Dean nodded a little but didn’t respond.

Castiel stood up, and held out his hand for Dean. Dean looked up again and took his hand hesitantly and groaned as he stood up slowly. Castiel’s arm came to wrap around Dean’s torso again, and he started helping the hunter to the bed.

Castiel knew Dean wasn’t going to trust him again in the first place. He had broken Dean’s trust by leaving him, and he had broken his trust further by putting him in the grips of heaven once again. Alone. Even though he couldn’t stand for the actions Balthazar did, if Castiel had treated the matter of heaven more delicately rather than rushed, perhaps all of this could’ve been avoided.

Castiel thought of all that silently as he brought Dean back to his bed, gently laying him down.

“I’ll go get the movie and the water and something to eat. I’ll be right back.” Castiel said and sighed in relief slightly as he got a nod and a little smile from Dean.

Dean fiddled with the edge of the blanket while he waited for Cas to come back to the room. He was still sad, scared, and angry, but all of that couldn’t change the fact that he missed Cas. He wasn’t sure how they would bounce back from this, and he had already decided that he was done using his grace and his wings and anything angelic that he could ever muster.

He looked down at his badge and quickly unpinned it from his shirt and placed it on the bedside table with a sigh, rubbing his hand over his face a bit as Castiel entered with a tray.

On the tray was some weak brewed coffee to not upset Dean’s stomach too much, some water, juice, a bowl of yoghurt with some berries and sliced apple, and two pieces of toast with some butter on it. Cas was clutching a dvd underneath his arm with what he knew was Dean’s favourite cowboy movie, ready to be played.

“Here, I hope this will be alright.” Castiel said and Dean blushed a bit at the wide spread of food and drinks.

“Uh, it’s great Cas, thanks.” Dean murmured and looked up at him a little. Castiel smiled and placed the tray on the bed before looking to the nightstand. He picked up the badge, observing it in his hands. Dean looked up at him curiously, frowning when a smile spread across Castiel’s lips once more. But when he noticed Dean was looking at him, he quickly placed the badge back down. “Why were you smiling at it?” Dean asked, trying not to sound as offended as he felt by Cas smiling at something that had hurt him so badly. Castiel shook his head.

“I’m sorry. It was just the writing on it. It was in enochian and it said-” Castiel started but realised quickly that Dean probably didn’t want to hear it. No matter how precious and honorable it was. “Nevermind. Let’s start the movie.” Castiel said with a soft smile and took the dvd and placed it in the player before heading back to the bed.

He stopped for a moment. Was he allowed next to Dean? He wasn’t sure. “Can… Can I join you?” Castiel asked carefully and Dean nodded slowly.

“Yeah- Yeah I guess. I mean. Where else would you sit?” Dean cleared his throat and shifted a bit to make some room.

Castiel sat down in the bed, making sure to prop Dean up with pillows to a nice seated position as well, ready for him to eat. He smiled gently at Dean, but kept his distance. It felt, awkward, but also very nice. It felt like home, being next to Dean again, even if the distance between them were bigger than it had ever been when they had shared a bed together recently. It was more than alright for now. At least Castiel was allowed close to the hunter that he cared for so very very much.

Dean reached for the spoon, stirring around in the yoghurt a bit. It wasn’t necessarily his favourite breakfast. Okay. It kinda sucked. But Cas had tried his best to make it look pretty and appealing with all the berries and- Oh… Dean blushed, pushing around a strawberry that he realised Castiel had cut out as a heart shape. Castiel smiled a little when Dean noticed, blushing softly as well, but decided not to say anything, just in case.

Dean gently picked up the strawberry and some yoghurt on his spoon, and gently took the bite. He hummed, frowning for a moment. Castiel looked worried.

“Is… Is something wrong with it?” Castiel asked worriedly. Dean swallowed the spoonful of yoghurt down and shook his head.

“No- No it’s…. It was just nicer than I expected. That’s all…” Dean murmured shyly and bit his lip a little. Castiel couldn’t help but smile a bit bigger.

“Well… Good. I’m glad you enjoy it even if it’s not your usual type of breakfast.” Castiel said and sunk back a bit more against the pillows, feeling more at ease now that he knew Dean approved of his breakfast.

Dean finished the whole bowl of yoghurt, to Castiel’s surprise, and one of the toasts Castiel had prepared. Dean finished the last bite of it and tried to sip gently at his coffee, his hand trembling a bit from the effort it had taken to eat and now to lift the cup to his lips. He glanced over at Cas though and nodded at the other piece of toast.

“You can have it, if you’d like.” Dean murmured, knowing he would probably never get used to the fact that Cas didn’t have to eat like they did. He would always offer him food nonetheless. Castiel smiled though and nodded, taking the piece of toast happily.

“Thank you.” He said, but quickly reached forward when he saw Dean’s hand trembling even more. He wrapped his hand around Dean’s, around the cup, and held it steady. “Here, let me.” Castiel said, gently bringing the cup up to Dean’s lips. “You did well, finishing the bowl of yoghurt all on your own, let me help you drink at least.” Castiel said, knowing Dean would protest if he didn’t.

And sure enough, he got a displeased grunt from Dean but he started to gently sip the coffee with Cas’ help, looking at the angel over the edge of the mug. Castiel raised an eyebrow at Dean. “It’s okay to ask for help, you know?” He told Dean softly before pulling the mug away from Dean’s lips. He knew Dean didn’t like it, but sometimes you just had to accept help. Dean nodded a little and rested back against the pillows, coughing. Castiel watched him, concern clear on his face.

“Cas… Can you answer something, a hundred percent truthfully? No bullcrap.” Dean muttered and looked to the side at the angel. Castiel nodded.

“Of course. What is it, Dean?” Cas asked softly, frowning just a little. Dean swallowed heavily.  
“Is- Will I- I mean- Am I-” Dean stuttered, not sure how to put it. Cas tilted his head, daring a gentle hand on Dean’s shoulder. Dean sighed. “Did signing that paper really just mean that I’m on a list to keep track of me, or did I sign something that comes with full time responsibility to heaven?” Dean asked quietly, scared by his own words and the answer that was going to leave Castiel’s lips. Castiel sighed, and reached for the badge, holding it in his hand out for Dean.

“Yes. I’m telling you the absolute truth Dean. The registration, the signing of the paper, are only done to acknowledge the powers you hold, how exceptional you are, and how special you are. This badge, is a badge of honor.” Castiel hesitated before he continued. “It says in enochian ‘Dean Winchester is a human of exceptional strength that holds grace from the angel Castiel deep within him. May his powers help him through life, guide him to make the right choices and to stand strong in dire times. We stand by Dean Winchester, carrier of Castiel’s grace, and we will stand by his side, for eternity.’.” Castiel finished, and placed the badge in Dean’s hand, holding it together in his own. Castiel felt his eyes getting slightly watery, and he cleared his throat softly. “Sorry.” He said, getting emotional.

Dean was blushing deeply, and even through his pale, sick skin tone, it still showed brightly. “It… It really says that? You’re not just saying that because you know I’m too stupid to learn enochian?” Dean murmured and Castiel chuckled.

“You’re not too stupid to learn anything Dean. And certainly not enochian. And yes, it really says that. I promise, Dean. You asked me for the truth, and I’m telling you the truth. It’s your choice if you believe it or not, and if you don’t… I know your brother has been burying his nose in every Enochian book he could find, trying to figure out a way to keep you safe lately, so I’m sure his Enochian has become much more fluid than before. You can ask him as well, I won’t mind.” Castiel said and nodded, laying back down against the pillows. 

Dean wanted to believe it, more than anything. Because if it was true and the badge really said that… Well, he understood why Castiel had gotten all emotional about it...

Dean nodded, sighing softly. “Signing it really only lets them keep a record that I exist?” Dean asked once more and Cas nodded.

“Yes, Dean, that’s what it entails.” Castiel nodded once more and gently placed a hand on Dean’s. “I promise you that, and if I’m ever wrong, I will never forgive myself.” Castiel said and looked into Dean’s eyes.

Dean sighed and clutched the bridge of his nose a bit, feeling like this was just too much. All of it. If Cas was really telling him the truth, how is he supposed to cope with everything he just heard?

“Dean? Dean, are you alright?” Castiel asked, reaching up to cup Dean’s cheek. Dean shook his head, groaning softly.

“It’s too much Cas. It’s… It’s too big.” Dean swallowed, looking over at the angel. Castiel shook his head.

“That’s exactly what it isn’t, Dean. Nobody deserves this badge as much as you do. Please, you have to believe me. You have to believe all the angels that have decided together that you are worthy. Even if Balthazar is the one in charge of the registry, the other angels have to acknowledge you and your spot on the list. And they have. They trust you Dean. You don’t have to trust them. I know you never will. But you should at least believe that they all think that you are worthy of the position you have gotten.” Castiel said seriously with a nod.

Dean chewed on his lip, closing his eyes. “You know I can’t just believe all of this, Cas. Or trust you wholeheartedly. Not after what just went down.” Dean said and Castiel lowered his head.

“I know. I know you can’t. I’m just telling you everything that I know, and everything that I believe in. No lies. Only the truth. And you can take it however you want and in your own time.” Castiel said and sighed softly. “I’m not forcing you to believe me Dean, I never would.” He added sadly, wishing Dean had more faith. He always wished Dean had more faith, but he had yet to make the older brother understand how comforting, and how wonderful faith could be.

Dean nodded a little, dropping his hand onto his lap and looking over at Cas. “I’m tired…” Dean murmured and Castiel nodded, gently taking the tray off of Dean’s lap and putting it on the other nightstand. He took the badge from Dean’s hand and put it on the side as well.

“Get some rest.” Castiel murmured softly. “It’s still quite early.” He said and lowered the volume slightly on the movie so that it would be easier for Dean to fall asleep if he wished to. Dean nodded and shifted down a bit, coughing into the pillow and clutching his chest. Castiel sighed, reaching down and gently stroking Dean’s forehead. “You will feel even better soon. You’re healing quicker than I thought you would.” Cas said and smiled softly.

Dean nodded and shifted a bit in the bed, closing his eyes. “I sure hope so…” He muttered and soon, soft snores left the hunter and Castiel watched over him for the duration of his little nap, only sometimes watching the movie, which he had come to quite enjoy after all the times he had watched it together with Dean.

***

 

Castiel looked up from Dean when the bedroom door opened slowly, and Sam looked surprised to see Cas by Dean’s side. But the younger brother smiled quickly though, entering the bedroom quietly.

“How’s he feeling?” Sam whispered and Castiel nodded.

“Better. Not fully restored yet, but he’s doing well, and he ate some breakfast earlier.” Cas whispered, nodding to the empty tray of food and drinks. Sam smiled at that and nodded once again.

“So, are you two okay?” Sam asked and Castiel sighed, looking down at the sleeping hunter. He stroke his fingers over Dean’s temple, before looking back up at Sam.

“I think, we will be, with time.” Castiel whispered and smiled a little. “Dean… Dean came to me and I couldn’t be more grateful for that…” Castiel said and Dean shifted a bit and slid down his pillow to rest against Cas’ arm. Cas smiled.

“Yeah, just let it take some time.” Sam said and chuckled softly. “Alright, I’ll leave you two alone. I might take Jack out for a walk in the woods, he’s been really upset about Dean.” Sam said as he walked up to take the tray with him to the kitchen. He frowned. “Yoghurt, really?” Sam whispered in surprise at Cas, who snorted softly.

“I’m just as surprised as you are that he ate it.” Castiel hummed and nodded. “I think that would be good for Jack. Just make sure you have your cellphone on just in case.” Castiel said, and laid his head back down on the pillow. Sam nodded.

“Yeah, I will.” Sam whispered and smiled at the two of them one last time before leaving the bedroom quietly.

***

Dean grunted softly in his sleep, having now slid down against Cas’ chest and had curled up comfortably in his arms. The movie was long over, and Castiel heard that Jack and Sam had just come back from their morning walk in the woods. Cas smiled. He was very happy, just like this. With Dean sleeping soundly against his chest.

“Cas…” Dean suddenly murmured and Castiel looked down at him quickly.

“Hmm? Yes Dean? How are you feeling?” Cas asked and stroke Dean’s soft brown hair gently. Dean coughed a little and pressed his nose against Cas’ chest.

“Squished.” Dean mumbled against Cas’ chest. Castiel raised an eyebrow.

“Squished? I’m not sure what you mean-” Castiel said but then realised how tightly Dean was pressed against his chest, and chuckled softly. “Ah, I see.” Castiel hummed and gently moved Dean back up to his pillow. “Better?” Castiel asked and Dean blinked his eyes open tiredly.

“Mhm.” Dean hummed and rubbed his eyes a little. “Where’s Sam?” Dean asked and Castiel’s heart sank a bit. Did Dean want him to leave again? “I heard him earlier, I do eat yoghurt sometimes ya know?” Dean grumbled and shifted back against Cas’ chest.

Castiel blushed deeply. Had he been awake for the whole conversation between him and Sam? Cas cleared his throat. “I believe Sam and Jack just came back from their walk.” Castiel said, ignoring the yoghurt comment for now, nothing good could come of that. Dean nodded.

“Alright. The kid. I need to talk to him.” Dean mumbled shyly. Castiel frowned.

“Jack? Why?” Castiel asked, confused. Dean shifted a bit and sighed. 

“Because I said some nasty things, and I feel guilty about it, and I want to make things right.” Dean murmured and Castiel smiled widely.

“I think Jack would like that very much. Why don’t you try to wake up a little and I will go find him?” Cas said and left the bed, propping Dean up on his pillows instead.

Dean nodded, sighing softly and rubbing his eyes again. He hoped this wouldn’t be a difficult conversation, but he owed Jack an apology. He knew he did. The kid had done nothing wrong. He had just been there at the wrong place at the wrong time.

It didn’t take long until the door opened carefully, Jack slowly entering the bedroom. Castiel waited outside, wanting to give them two some alone time to talk. While listening in, of course. Dean smiled a little up at Jack and patted the side of the bed. “Come here, sit.” Dean said and Jack hurried to the bedside and sat down, looking down worriedly.

“Castiel said you wanted to speak to me.” Jack said lowly, biting his lip a little. Dean nodded.

“Yeah, Jack. I do. I… I wanted to apologise alright? The things I said I… I didn’t mean them. I was upset and angry and I took it out on you and I shouldn’t have.” Dean said and Jack looked up at him, nodding a little.

“It’s okay. I forgive you, Dean.” Jack said and Dean chuckled a little.

“You’re just as quick to forgive as Cas are aren’t you?” Dean smiled and Jack smiled a little.

“Do… Do you still think that all angels are… dicks. And that you hate heaven?” Jack asked carefully and Dean sighed.

“No Jack. Not all angels are dicks. You’re not. Cas isn’t. Well, most of the time, when he doesn’t do anything stupid.” Dean muttered. “And I don’t /hate/ heaven. But you have to understand Jack, that anytime I’ve been to heaven, or been involved with heaven in any way, things have sucked okay? It’s never been a warm welcome or a ‘hi welcome to heaven we are here to bring you joy and faith’ or whatever. It’s always been bad. Think of it like this. If you went to a place and they always treated you badly there, would you enjoy going there? Or talking about that place? Or trusting the people in that place?” Dean said and Jack thought for a moment before shaking his head.

“No… I wouldn’t.” Jack said and Dean nodded.

“Well, there ya go. I know heaven has this reputation that it’s always good, which makes it hard to accept that maybe not everyone feels that way. And maybe- maybe you can change my mind sometimes, yeah? Or maybe Cas, or I don’t know what the future holds okay? But, all I can tell you right now, is that I’m sorry, you and Cas are definitely not dicks, and I don’t hate heaven. It’s just… A bad relationship with heaven. Alright?” Dean finished and Jack nodded.

“Okay.” Jack said and smiled a little. “A bad relationship. But me and Castiel will make it better. And I’m glad you don’t think either of us are dicks.” Jack said and then frowned a little. “But, this angel called Balthazar, he seems like a dick to me.” Jack said seriously and Dean laughed.

“You damn right he is.” Dean smiled and shook his head. “I won’t let him anywhere near you or Cas, again. Mark my words.” Dean said firmly and Jack smiled.

“Right. Because you’ll always protect us, Dean.” Jack smiled and Dean nodded.

“Always kiddo. I promise.” Dean said and grunted a bit as Jack suddenly practically threw himself into Dean’s arms. Dean blushed a little and hugged him tightly. “Hey… Hey there it’s okay. It’s okay… We’re okay…” Dean mumbled and held Jack in his arms, sighing fondly. “Hey, tell me about your walk with Sam in the woods. Did you see anything cool?” Dean said encouragingly, knowing Jack liked to speak about his worldly adventures with him when he got the chance.

***  
Jack very excitedly spoke to Dean about everything he had seen in the woods, how Sam had explained to him about different types of moss, and how they had managed to see a small mouse scurry away in one of the bushes. Jack laughed when he told Dean about how he had hid behind a tree and how Sam had used his ‘angry-parent’ voice when all Jack wanted to do was to give him a fun little jumpscare. Dean listened patiently, and smiled and laughed a little together with Jack, enjoying the time with the kid more than he had imagined.

Meanwhile, Cas had walked off to the kitchen to see if Sam needed any help with lunch, but smiled softly when he saw everything was almost ready. “I feel much better now that Jack and Dean are on good terms again.” Castiel said and Sam smiled.

“Yeah? I can understand that. So they’re good?” Sam asked and Cas nodded.

“Very much so. When I left, Jack was telling Dean all about your walk through the woods. He sounded very excited.” Cas said and Sam chuckled.

“Yeah, he’s getting quite inventive with his little games though. Scared the crap out of me…” Sam muttered and Castiel frowned, not sure what had happened but it didn’t really matter. Both of them were safe and that’s what mattered.

“Well it seems that you got scared because you’re a wimp, Sammy.” Dean said as he walked into the kitchen, one arm around Jack’s shoulder as the kid helped support him walking.

“Dean-” Cas said quickly and rushed up to his other side, helping Jack support his weight. Sam smiled a little.

“You look better. I mean, better for looking like crap.” Sam teased back and Dean rolled his eyes. Jack gently slipped away when he realised Cas had a good hold of Dean, smiling at him softly.

“Well at least I have an excuse to looking like a pile of garbage, what’s yours?” Dean huffed back at Sam who snorted softly. Sam didn’t even mind. The fact that his brother was smiling and teasing was only a good thing in his eyes. It meant Dean felt better, even though he couldn’t be sure what was going on on the inside.

Cas smirked a little and placed Dean down on a chair, looking him over, placing his fingers on Dean’s forehead. “The fever is almost completely gone.” Castiel announced happily and Dean smirked up at him.

“Sorry, guess that means I don’t got the hots for you anymore then.” Dean teased Cas who blushed a little at that. “I’m kidding.” Dean murmured quietly for only Cas to hear. Castiel smiled at that and nodded.

“Good.” Castiel relaxed a little, and sat down beside Dean. “Because I definitely still got the uh, hots for… Nevermind.” Castiel said and cleared his throat, realising he was not very good at flirting. Not anywhere close to Dean at least. Dean smiled a little.

“You’re a dork.” Dean told Cas with a firm nod. “A big, huge, dork. An angel dork even. Even worse.” Dean continued and Cas rolled his eyes. Jack smiled at them, realising Dean was only joking and trying to get on Cas’ nerves, which seemed to be working somewhat judging by Cas’ expression.

“Dean.” Castiel said firmly and Dean smirked crookedly.

“Yeah?” Dean tilted his head at Cas. “What is it, dork?” Dean chuckled and Castiel rolled his eyes.

“I don’t mind being a dork if it makes you smile.” Castiel said simply, and cupped Dean’s cheek before turning away to make some coffee.

Dean was blushing furiously now, his smile falling into something a bit more awkward. “I uh. Uhm. Okay.” Dean stumbled on his words quietly, Sam struggling not to laugh at how Cas could render Dean speechless when he was in one of his teasing modes.

Castiel was smiling to himself as well, hearing Dean stumbling on his words only meant that his own got the effect he wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is a bit long and all over the place, I haven't been feeling very good today, but I hope I tied this chapter together as nicely as I possibly could.  
> Thanks y'all.
> 
> Rock on <3


	15. Make it go away

15\. Make it go away

Dean got better throughout the day, and towards the evening, he was walking decently on his own. He carried around quite a bit of fear in his heart, and he would never fully forget the horrible feeling he got when he realised he was alone in heaven, with no one knowing he was even gone. He shivered at the thought, but shook it off quickly with a shrug before taking the two cups of coffee he had made in his hands.

He knew he had one thing left to do. He had made things right with Jack, and even though he was still upset with Cas leaving him… He had said some nasty things, and if he could apologise to Jack for them, he could apologise to Cas… Right? Then why didn’t it feel just as easy?

Dean cleared his throat and knocked gently on the door to Cas’ bedroom. “Hey Cas? It’s me.” Dean murmured and the door opened and Castiel stood there with a smile.

“Hello Dean. How are you feeling? You look better already.” Castiel said and moved away from the doorway so that Dean could enter if he wanted to.

“I… Yeah. Yeah I feel better. I made us some coffee…” Dean murmured and held out one of the cups. Castiel quickly took the cup, so that the hunter could stabilize himself against the wall. “Thanks, heh.” Dean said with a soft smile. Castiel nodded.

“Thank you for the coffee.” Cas said and took his cup and sat down on the bed. He realised Dean was standing quite awkwardly against the wall, and he tilted his head softly. “Do you need anything else?” Castiel asked, smiling softly at Dean.

Dean shifted a bit on his feet before he walked over to the bed and sat down beside Cas. 

“Actually, yeah… I wanted to uhm… I wanted to apologise. You know. For what I said before. I didn’t mean that you were… a dick. Or that Jack was. And I… I understand that heaven is your… Original home, and I should be more… respectful. It just… Kinda hurt when you left like that, in a hurry, when you know how I feel about these things… Especially now after Michael-” Dean had to stop himself, clearing his throat before taking a sip of his coffee. “But I shouldn’t have said the things I did. It was very harsh and… And even though I was upset and angry and felt like… Our home here meant jack squat to you, I shouldn’t have talked about heaven, or the angels, or the grace in that way.” Dean looked up at Cas softly. “So I’m sorry. I really am.” Dean said and nodded a little.

Castiel looked at Dean for a moment, before putting his cup away and turning to him fully. He parted his lips, and took a soft breath before nodding.

“First I just wanted to say that… I heard your apology to Jack, it was very sweet and I thank you for talking to him and mending things with him.” Castiel took a deeper breath.

“I’m sorry I left Dean. I truly am. I shouldn’t have left in such a hurry and I shouldn’t have questioned your feelings on the matter and I should’ve understood the way you felt without you having to tell me about it. But with that said… Thank you, for your apology, it really hurt to hear you… Say those things about the angels and heaven, and my grace… And I’m glad that you realise how it made me feel and decided to say you are sorry. I know that your relationship with us angels and heaven is anything but good, and I understand fully why. But hearing you speak so badly of us, still hurt.” Cas said and looked at Dean softly.

“I know. I know man and I really am sorry.” Dean interrupted, not feeling like Cas really understood how sorry he was. Castiel smiled.

“I know. Thank you, Dean. And I have already forgiven you.” Castiel smiled. “But I’ll forgive you again. So. I forgive you.” Castiel smiled a bit wider, making Dean smile as well. “But for the record, Dean, our home and our family here on earth, here /right now/, means more to me than heaven ever did. I never felt… I never felt so much love as I feel here with you, and with Sam and Jack. And I feel safe here. I do. Because you’re here with me.” Castiel smiled. “So please, don’t ever think that all I have here doesn’t mean anything if you put it beside heaven, because it does, more than you could ever imagine.” Castiel reached up and cupped Dean’s cheek softly.

Dean clenched his jaw, but closed his eyes and nodded, leaning into Cas’ touch. Castiel smiled. “Dean, can I ask you something?” He murmured, and Dean hummed softly as a ‘yes. Castiel sighed a little. “Does… Does my grace really make you feel… Filthy? And do you really want me to try to make it go away?” Castiel asked quietly, and Dean opened his eyes to look at Castiel softly.

Dean sighed. “It doesn’t make me feel filthy.” He murmured and shifted a bit closer to Cas, pressing his cheek against his palm gently. “I was angry. Upset. I didn’t mean that either. I wouldn’t have wanted to keep it in the first place if it made me feel that way.” Dean explained and looked up into Cas’ eyes. “As for laying it to rest or, whatever you can do about it to make it go away… I’m not sure.” Dean said and closed his eyes again. “I’m not… I mean… Balthazar he…” Dean shifted out of Cas’ hold and Castiel shook his head quickly.

“Dean- Dean, listen to me. What Balthazar did to you was awful. I don’t stand by what he did, or the way he did it. He should’ve had patience and not taken you from me, and he should’ve protected you from that blast of energy since I wasn’t there to do it myself. I do not in any way agree with what he did, or defend him for what he did. I need you to understand that.” Castiel said quickly, wanting to make that really clear.

Dean nodded a little and rubbed his neck. “I… I just don’t know okay? I can’t make that decision now. If I want to keep your grace… awake, or not. I can’t make that decision Cas. I was so scared up in heaven I was- All I could think about was Michael and that- that I was alone and that you didn’t even know I was gone-” Dean started tearing up and he quickly got up from the bed and turned his back to Cas.

Castiel stood slowly and walked up to Dean. “Dean… I’m sorry.” Castiel whispered and thought for a moment before he slowly wrapped his arms around Dean’s waist. “It’s okay to be afraid. And trust me, I would make Balthazar pay for what he did if he was here right now. But I’m here to protect you, and I always will.” Castiel murmured and pulled Dean close into his embrace. He had never really hugged Dean quite as intimately like he was trying to now, and he wondered why he had waited up to this point to do it. Castiel moved just a little bit closer, making sure his whole front was pressed against Dean’s body. Dean shook his head though and let out a soft sob.

“No because you left. The instant heaven needed you, you left with no regard to what I was feeling-” Dean sobbed quietly and Castiel closed his eyes, resting his head against Dean’s shoulder gently.

“I know. And I will never forgive myself for the way I left you. For making such a rushed decision. But I promise I won’t do it again, Dean. And I will always, always protect you.” Castiel said again, pressing his nose against Dean’s shoulder. “Dean?” Castiel murmured gently when he didn’t get a response from the hunter.

Dean nodded. “Yeah- Yeah alright.” Dean said and suddenly quickly turned around, wrapping his arms around Cas and making himself small by tucking his head underneath Castiel’s chin. “You’ll protect me, and you won’t leave me like that again.” Dean whispered and sniffled softly. Castiel nodded, wrapping his arms tightly around Dean, stroking his back gently.

“I will protect you, and I won’t leave you like that ever again.” Castiel whispered and nuzzled Dean close, sighing deeply.

He could feel Dean’s body trembling, and his own shirt getting slightly wet from Dean’s tears, and he slowly and gently pulled Dean towards the bed, sitting down with him on his lap. Dean squirmed a bit at first, not used to sitting on anyone’s lap frankly, but right now it was the nicest feeling in the world. He wrapped his arms around Cas’ neck and buried his face in the crook of it, pressing against the warm, slightly golden skin. Castiel pulled Dean as close as possible, rubbing his back with his warm hands. 

“I will always protect you.” Castiel whispered once more before resting his chin against Dean’s soft brown hair. Dean nodded a little, and Cas smiled to himself. He reached behind them both, and grabbed a blanket from his bed and gently wrapped it around Dean in his embrace as the hunter trembled softly. “Shh… Dean… It’s going to be alright.” Castiel soothed, making sure Dean was wrapped up in the blanket before shifting up onto the bed so he could stretch out with Dean still in his arms.

After a bit of shifting and shimmying, Castiel sat comfortably in bed and held Dean close, his eyes lidded as he brought his hand down to stroke Dean’s stubbled chin with his thumb. “We don’t have to decide anything about the grace right now Dean, we don’t even have to speak of it. I’m sorry I asked you, I just wanted to know… Because it makes me feel like the most special angel in the whole universe, to have a bit of my grace stored inside of you. Guarded by the strongest Winchester there is.” Castiel blushed. “Don’t tell Sam I said that.” Cas said and Dean chuckled through his tears.

“Oh I’m so telling.” Dean murmured back and Castiel couldn’t help but chuckle. Dean shifted a bit, slowly calming down and reaching up to rub his eyes when his sobbing stopped. “God I’m such a wimp…” Dean muttered as he wiped his face from the wetness. Castiel sighed.

“No, you’re not a wimp for crying when you’re upset. That’s ridiculous.” Cas said firmly and reached up, gently running a hand through Dean’s hair.

“Well I think-” Dean started but when he felt the hand rub through his hair, he stopped and closed his eyes, humming softly. Cas grinned.

“Is that nice?” He asked and Dean blushed.

“Maybe.” Dean grumbled and pushed his face back against Castiel’s neck to hide his blush. “Maybe yeah.” He murmured and moved his hand up, gently resting it on Cas’ chest. Castiel smiled happily, continuing the stroking through his hair.

Dean moved a bit closer, gripping and fiddling Castiel’s tie a little. His eyes were lidded and he rubbed his nose against Castiel’s neck softly before-

Castiel froze.

“Did you-... Did you just kiss my neck? Dean?” Castiel breathed, goosebumps spreading all over his arms as he shivered in surprise. Dean pulled back a little, licking his lips.

“Uh. Maybe.” Dean replied with a bite of his lip. Castiel looked down at Dean, his eyes wide and slightly dark with pleasure and love.

“Dean.” Castiel said seriously and Dean shrugged.

“So what? I can’t- I can’t kiss you? I thought- I thought you were supposed to be my ‘boyfriend’ now and last time I checked you’re allowed to kiss your boyfriend without making such a big deal out of it and-”

Dean stopped. Most likely because the press of Castiel’s lips on his own made it very hard to continue talking. Dean’s eyes widened at first, before they fell shut and he gripped Castiel’s shirt and tie even tighter in his hand. “Cas-” Dean whispered against the angel’s lips when he found the little room to do so, but just as quick as Cas’ lips had disappeared from his own, they were back again, kissing him softly but desperately.

Dean got some courage, and began kissing back. Wow. He never thought he would find himself sitting on a dude’s lap, right after a good crying session, actually /kissing/ the dude in question, and the dude also just happened to be an angel of the lord. Neat.

Dean smiled a little to himself before he wrapped his lips against Cas’ plump bottom one, suckling on it and nipping at it gently. It earned himself a sudden sound from the angel, somewhere between a mix of a moan and a soft grunt. Dean smirked but suddenly Cas pulled back and Dean frowned.

“Uh, why did you- are you okay?” Dean asked when he saw how flustered Cas looked. Maybe he was just… Nervous?

And Dean wasn’t far off the truth. Castiel was soaring on cloud nine, figuratively, of course. But he was not only nervous, he was /terrified/. He was kissing Dean. All these years he had wanted to kiss Dean and it was every bit as incredible as he had thought it would be. He just had to take a deep breath, and calm down as he felt the buzzing of his grace and his wings longing to spread out for his Dean. His Dean. And only his. His wonderful hunter and-

Suddenly a loud flapping noise echoed through the room and Castiel’s wings spread wide. Dean blushed and moved away a little. “Uh, I’m sorry?” Dean apologised, not sure what was going on. Castiel shook his head and quickly forced his wings to fold against his body.

“Don’t- Don’t apologize I uh- I got a bit excited. Sorry for the wings.” Castiel said quickly and tried to put them away but it seemed they had no interest in behaving right now. Dean started grinning again and nodded.

“So uhm, accidental-boner-wings then?” Dean teased and Cas rolled his eyes.

“If that is how you wish to look at it. Yes.” Cas said simply and Dean chuckled.

“I don’t mind. The wings.” Dean said, understanding why Castiel had pulled back and been hesitant. Well, at least part of it. He couldn’t possibly know the millions and billions of feelings that were rushing through Castiel’s mind and body right now, but he understood why he had been hesitant to let himself go and spread his wings. “They’re… They’re your wings. They’re… Safe. Safety-wings. Wings of safety.” Dean stumbled out quickly and smiled at Cas. “So uh, do you want to continue or?” Dean asked shyly, biting on his lip again.

Castiel sighed and placed a hand on Dean’s chest. “Dean, you’re not fully restored yet. I do not wish to overwhelm you. I can wait with kissing you I… I’ve waited for so many years, I can wait a few more days for you to get completely well.” Castiel smiled softly and Dean looked at him for a few seconds before rolling his eyes. A few more days?

“Screw that.” Dean said and leaned forward, capturing Cas’ lips quickly with his own once again.

***  
“Cas, I was reading Dean’s badge and this is some heavy stuff. I mean, heavy as in good it’s, wonderful actually and- Oh my God-” Sam’s tone went from a normal talking tone to a stuttering breath as he casually walked into Cas’ room and saw Dean practically straddling the angel’s lap now, kissing him hard and fast.

Dean pulled away with a huff. “What the hell Sammy don’t you knock anymore!?” Dean shouted and curled up, blushing a bit as he shifted off of Castiel’s lap clumsily. Sam blushed and swallowed nervously.

“I uh- I was just-” Sam stuttered.

“And what were you doing snooping around my bedroom anyway? Didn’t dad teach you not to snoop around huh?” Dean said as he wiped his reddened lips off and slid down to sit beside Castiel. Castiel’s wing responded and gently wrapped around Dean to shield him from any embarrassment he might be feeling, and he looked up at Sam who had slowly started smiling at the two of them.

Castiel couldn’t help it, when he saw Sam smiling, he started smiling as well. He was just so very happy, despite all the chaos that had just happened. He was just over the moon.

“Sorry… For snooping around.” Sam said with a small grin. “I’ll leave you two alone.” Sam said and shook his head fondly before closing the door with a soft chuckle.

Dean grumbled something unhearable, blushing furiously now. “Stupid Sam.” Dean muttered and Castiel smiled at Dean.

“Now, be nice to your brother, Dean.” Castiel spoke softly and stroke Dean’s cheek. Dean sighed and Castiel’s wing trembled a bit before moving closer, gently brushing over Dean’s flushed cheek. Dean smirked.

“Hey, quit tickling me with that thing.” Dean said and ran his nose a little against the soft wing. Castiel chuckled.

“Sorry.” He said but Dean snorted.

“Yeah, you’re real sorry aren’t you?” Dean teased and looked back up at Cas softly.

***

Jack came walking down the hallways, smiling brightly.

“Hello Sam. I was going to ask Castiel if he wanted to play ‘go fish’ and-”

“That’s probably not a good idea right now, Jack.” Sam interrupted Jack quickly as they walked passed each other in the hallway, gently taking the kid’s arm. Jack frowned.

“Why not? Are they fighting again? I don’t want them to fight again.” Jack said, his expression turning back to upset. Sam quickly shook his head.

“No no, they’re not uhm, fighting. They’re, just, they need a bit of privacy okay? Some alone time. I’ll play with you.” Sam said and nodded with a smile. Jack frowned.

“Privacy? Why?” He question and Sam sighed but with a smile as he thought about how he had caught the two in the bedroom.

“Because, they need some alone time right now. But I’m sure Cas will play ‘go fish’ with you when he is ready to do so.” Sam said and wrapped an arm around Jack’s shoulders to lead him back to the library. Jack was still frowning, but nodded softly.

“Okay… So… I can’t see Castiel right now because he needs some privacy with Dean?” He repeated, to make sure he understood correctly. Sam chuckled and nodded.

“Yeah, yeah exactly, Jack.” He smiled and patted Jack’s back. “Alright, come on, let’s play a game or two okay?” Sam said and lead Jack back to the library.

***

Dean shifted a bit beside Cas, laying down against his shoulder. “Well… That was awkward…” He grumbled softly and sighed a little.

Dean gasped though as he suddenly was flipped onto his back and Castiel straddled him, his wings flaring out. Dean blushed. “C-Cas-” Dean stuttered, shifting a bit underneath. That was… Unexpected, but not unwelcome. Castiel smiled and reached up to cup Dean’s cheek, running his thumb over Dean’s bottom lip.

“Is this alright?” He asked when he noticed the hesitant look on Dean’s face. Dean nodded quickly though and smiled nervously.

“Yeah- uh- yeah, just wasn’t expecting it that’s all, heh.” Dean smiled and looked up at Cas for a moment, wondering what he was going to do. Castiel just smiled back, and nodded.

“Well, I can’t be predictable all the time can I?” Cas said and snorted softly, reaching back to stroke his hand through Dean’s hair. Dean’s expression instantly softened, and he melted even further when he felt Cas press his lips against his own without much thought or planning. It was as if it was meant to be, and Dean couldn’t wait to feel Cas’ kisses once again.

Castiel moaned softly into the kiss, trying to copy what Dean had done, with the suckling of his bottom lip, and the nipping and Dean was responding well. Dean had started to move underneath him, to arch just a little from the bed when Castiel nipped a bit harder and gasp when he tugged lightly at his hair.

“Cas-” Dean breathed followed by a strangled moan, as the angel’s hand suddenly travelled down his body, down the side of his chest and down to his waist. Castiel’s hand were firm, warm, and buzzing with grace. He could feel it, but he didn’t want to ruin the mood by saying that he could.

“Dean-” Cas breathed back, gently slipping his tongue against Dean’s lips and it made the hunter part them instantly. Screw holding off on the make-out session, he thought and in an instant, his own hand moved up to grab at Cas’ dark hair, pushing him down into the kiss as he slid his tongue between Castiel’s lips.

Castiel groaned deeply in pleasure, pushing his hips back down when Dean pushed his own back up against him. Castiel’s wings flared out and flapped gently a few times, and he kissed Dean back as well as he could.

Dean started to shift more, and felt something tingle inside of him. He felt his back start to tingle as well, and he frowned. “Cas- Cas wait- Cas I think- Cas-” Dean started, but he couldn’t stop kissing the angel even though the sensation was worrying him all up until-

Dean arched even higher up from the bed when his wings suddenly spread out underneath him. Dean groaned, and Castiel instantly pulled back, watching Dean’s wings spread in awe. “Dean…” Castiel murmured, practically sitting across his hips as he looked down at the hunter. Dean blushed, squirming a bit.

“I- I didn’t mean to- I didn’t want that- I didn’t want-” Dean began to stutter, shaking his head. “I didn’t want the grace to- Ruin it I didn’t-” Dean said and started to struggle to sit up. Castiel quickly shifted away and helped Dean to sit up, stroking his cheek gently.

“Shh, shh Dean you didn’t ruin anything. It’s beautiful. They’re beautiful. /You’re/ beautiful Dean just-”

“No! No I didn’t want- I just wanted to make out and I wanted it to feel awesome but I couldn’t stop them! I couldn’t stop the wings Cas I couldn’t and I don’t want- I don’t want them right now!” Dean interrupted Cas and looked at him with sad eyes. Cas tilted his head, stopping Dean as he tried to get away.

“Dean, wait, I understand, and I want to talk to you about this, please don’t run away. Running away won’t help.” Castiel said quickly and Dean sat back down even though he didn’t want to.

“Make them go away. Now.” Dean said between his gritted teeth, and Castiel quickly placed his hand on Dean’s chest and made the wings disappear, as he did his own as well.

“They’re gone now, calm down Dean.” Castiel tried but Dean shook his head.

“So what? Now every time I get a bit excited when I’m with you those things are going to shoot out of my back? Is that how it’s always going to be? Because I didn’t sign up for that I don’t even- I’m not even sure I want your grace active or awake anymore!” Dean raised his voice in frustration. Castiel nodded and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Dean, I understand. I understand, Dean, I promise I do. But I can’t take the wings away fully, not now. They’re a part of you and I know that right now you don’t want them to be but you didn’t feel this way before Balthazar-”

“Don’t. Mention his name.” Dean growled and Castiel sighed. “And I didn’t have much choice before either did I?” Dean said and Cas frowned a little.

“I… I was under the impression- Dean, you can’t just change your view of something just because it’s making you angry right you. /You/ enjoyed your wings, and you can’t convince me otherwise.” Castiel said firmly, a bit tired of Dean’s games. Dean frowned with a huff.

“What? I can’t change my mind just because I just got /abused/ up in heaven? What’s wrong with you?” Dean said and stood up, heading towards the door.

“Dean, stop!” Cas pleaded and headed after him.

Sam frowned as he walked through the hallway, and it seemed, he’d had enough as well.

“Listen to Cas Dean. I don’t know what you two are fighting about now but just stop and talk to each other okay?” Sam said, putting a hand on Dean’s chest. Dean frowned.

“Excuse me?” Dean said, his voice filled with anger and upset. Sam sighed and clenched his jaw.

“You do this every time, Dean. You get in a fight, and you leave, and then it starts all over again. Just talk to Cas. You can figure it out. You were exploring each other’s throats with the help of your tongues just moments ago. Figure it out.” Sam said firmly and Dean blushed a little.

“Get off.” Dean said and smacked Sam’s hand away, but the brother just gripped his shoulders.

“Sam, it’s alright, let him cool down.” Cas tried and Dean glared back.

“I don’t need to cool- I said GET OFF!” Dean shouted and turned back around, his wings flaring out harshly and his hand pushing out to get Sam away from him. But instead of just pushing like he was meant to, his grace created a blast of energy that flung Sam backwards and onto the floor.

Dean panted and stumbled a bit at the sheer force he had used together with his grace, and Cas quickly rushed to Sam to make sure he was alright.

“Sam? Sam are you alright? Sam?” Castiel said and held Sam’s head up and hooked his arm underneath his shoulder. Sam snapped back suddenly with a flinch and held his hand pressed against his forehead. Sam groaned in pain but nodded.

“Yeah yeah- I’m- oufh- I’m okay- nnnh-” Sam grunted as he tried to stand up with the help of Cas. Dean looked down at his hand, turning it over a few times to make sure it hadn’t flung off together with the grace explosion that had just come out of it. 

“Sammy I didn’t mean to-” Dean breathed quickly and walked up to Sam and Cas, his knees trembling and he felt about ready to pass out. But he needed to stay awake for Sam’s sake. “Sammy? You okay?” Dean said and reached to place a hand on Sam’s shoulder, but to his surprise, Sam shrugged away.

“Yes Dean I’m fine just- Let me adjust- that wasn’t just your regular punch okay?” Sam said and Dean nodded, his hand lowering and his wings doing the same.

Castiel gently sat Sam down on a nearby step, a hand gently on his back to keep him steady. “You’ll be fine Sam. The strength was not enough that it could damage your internal organs.” Castiel said as a matter of factly and Sam huffed out a laugh.

“Yeah that’s great. Thanks. I’d love to keep my organs intact.” Sam muttered and Castiel nodded before turning to Dean.

Dean took a step back. Partially because he was afraid he would hurt Cas, but also because he was afraid he would be angry for what he had done. But Castiel didn’t stop. He walked up to Dean and took his hand gently, and placed the other on his neck.

“Are you alright, Dean?” Cas asked softly and Dean nodded quickly.

“I… I think so. I don’t want to hurt you. Maybe you shouldn’t touch me…” Dean whispered and Castiel smiled.

“Oh Dean, you can’t hurt me. You are strong, but I’m stronger.” Castiel said with a nod and a gentle tone of his voice. “I’ll keep your grace at bay. Deep breaths.” Castiel hummed and pulled Dean closer.

“So… So you’re not mad at me?” Dean said and Castiel frowned.

“Why would I be mad at you? You were upset, and you accidentally used your grace. I’m not mad. I’m actually… Proud. Yes. Very proud, to see that you are so strong already.” Castiel smiled softly. Dean looked up at him in surprise.

“What? Really?” Dean said and moved a bit closer. Cas nodded.

“Really. That was incredible.” Castiel whispered and stroke Dean’s neck.

“Uh, hello? Nearly passed out little brother here? Perhaps not /that/ incredible?” Sam huffed with a raise of his hand. Dean rolled his eyes a little and dared a kiss to Castiel’s cheek.

“We’ll talk. Later. Now let’s get Sam into bed.” Dean said and Cas nodded, helping him to carry Sam back to his bedroom to rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm sorry this took a bit longer, I'm in the process of moving, but I'll try to keep up the speed with the updates!  
> Our boys are sure getting closer together, we like that!
> 
> Rock on!


	16. Closeness

16\. Closeness

“That was kinda scary… I mean, I didn’t know I was /that/ powerful. I just kinda- I don’t know. I got pissed. At Sam, at myself, just everything.” Dean tried to explained to Cas after they returned to Dean’s bedroom after making sure Sam was put to bed carefully. Cas had taken a detour to tell Jack what was happening, but the boy had already fallen asleep on the table, cards in hand. Castiel had smiled, and shaken him gently to get him to wake up to make him go to his bed to sleep the rest of the night.

Now, Castiel was listening to Dean, but he had a hard time focusing. It wasn’t because he was angry, or upset. Quite the opposite, actually.

“Like, I held out my hand, and then it just kinda came to me ya know? Is that… Is that how it works or-” Dean said but suddenly he was grabbed by his arms, and pushed against the door so it shut swiftly. Castiel pressed his body against Dean, and reached around to hold his hand on his neck.

“Stop talking.” Castiel purred and pushed closer. Dean blushed, and bit his lip shyly.

“Yeah? What’re you gonna do about-” Dean started but cut himself off as Castiel started kissing him hard and fast. Dean moaned into the kiss, arching up against the angel, his hands going to his shirt and tugging at it hard. “Cas- Cas yes- Cas-” Dean breathed and Castiel responded by kissing Dean harder. Dean fisted his hands into Cas’ shirt, pulling him closer. This was definitely better than talking. And this only made him sure that Cas wasn’t angry at all for his grace outburst, quite the opposite, actually.

Castiel moaned into Dean’s mouth and pushed him firmly against the door, and with a flick of his wrist, he made the lock turn on the door and Dean shivered when he heard it click.

“Yeah, good idea.” Dean breathed, not wanting to get interrupted by Sam again. Not that he was really fit for interrupting, but there was always Jack, too. Castiel grunted against Dean’s lips, starting to suddenly tug at his t-shirt. “Cas- Wait-” Dean breathed and Castiel pulled back in an instant.

“Yes, Dean?” Castiel said with a strangled voice, and Dean could just /tell/ that Castiel did not enjoy them breaking apart right now.

“Just, uh, I just wanted to know how far you want to go. Like, right now.” Dean said and looked at Castiel seriously. Cas tilted his head.

“I… I haven’t really paid it that much thought. I’m willing to go wherever with you.” Castiel said and Dean chuckled.

“I know that Cas but, alright. Let’s continue then, sorry.” Dean said, suddenly feeling like he was being stupid and annoying. Castiel shook his head and took Dean’s hand.

“No, let’s not. Not until you tell me what you want and need. How far are /you/ willing to let me go?” Castiel said and Dean swallowed, thinking for a moment before looking into Cas’ eyes.

He nodded firmly. “As far as we manage to get.” Dean replied and in an instant, Castiel was back on him, pushing his body against Dean’s against the door, gripping the hunter’s hips tightly.

“Dean-” Castiel moaned, thrusting his tongue into Dean’s mouth, wanting to taste every inch of him, wanting to feel every little inch of Dean’s body against his fingertips. He started to tug at the t-shirt again, but waited patiently to see if Dean would take it off himself. And sure enough, Dean quickly tugged it off over his head, and Castiel stopped for a moment. It wasn’t like he hadn't seen Dean’s chest before. But now, it was /his/ chest. Filled with /his/ grace. And it nearly drove Castiel completely wild.

“Uh, Cas?” Dean said and blushed a little. Castiel nodded.

“In a moment.” Castiel said, still mapping out every inch of his body to make sure he would remember it forever and ever. “Yes, Dean?” Castiel asked once he felt done looking at his chest and looked up into his eyes instead.

“Just, touch me okay?” Dean said and Castiel nodded swiftly.

Soon, the angel’s hands were roaming up and down Dean’s chest, touching, feeling, stroking every bit of skin he could get his hands on. Dean gasped, his head tilting back with a thud against the door but he didn’t care. He couldn’t care less actually. Castiel started kissing down Dean’s neck, experimentally sticking his tongue out to lick the skin and when he heard Dean respond well, he continued doing it even more. Down to Dean’s collarbone, down to his anti-possession tattoo, down to every gorgeous part he could possibly kiss.

Castiel wasn’t a novice, not in his mind at least. He hadn’t been with many other people, and the times he’d had it had ended any way but good. But he knew what to do, how to make love, how to make Dean feel wonderful. He wasn’t a million billion years for nothing, was he now? He had watched, observed, learned, and he wanted to do his very best just for Dean.

He captured one of Dean’s nipples between his lips, sucking and kissing on it before letting his teeth graze the sensitive bud gently. Dean gasped, his eyes widening since he hadn’t really felt that kind of pleasure before. And he had certainly not expected it to come from Cas. “Cas ah-” Dean breathed and tilted his head back, and Castiel just nodded, suckling harder.

Dean’s hands came up to tug at Cas’ hair, and push against his head, drawing him closer and closer. His legs started feeling like jello and the moment Castiel felt even a twitch, he stopped and lifted Dean up in his arms, carrying him to the bed. Dean blushed.

“Displaying your strength huh? I know how strong you are, Cas.” Dean smiled but wrapped his arms around Castiel’s neck, longing to be close. Just like he had been when he had been sitting on his lap. He just wanted to be close. So damn close.

When Castiel placed Dean on the bed, it didn’t take long until Dean grabbed Cas’ tie and pulled him down with him. “Shirt, off.” Dean demanded between kisses, and Castiel nodded, starting by ripping off his tie and throwing it on the floor. Cas started to fiddle with his buttons, but some nerves got the better of him and he fumbled a bit. Dean waited patiently, until he knew the hole was big enough for Cas’ head, and then he grabbed the edges and pulled the shirt quickly up over Castiel’s head.

Castiel threw the shirt to the side, letting it hang of the bed before watching as Dean looked at him with wide eyes. Cas frowned.

“What? Is… Is something wrong?” Cas asked worriedly.

Dean had realised, that the few times he had seen Castiel’s chest, were mostly when he was hurt, or dead, or dying, or any other of the bad stuff that always seemed to happen to them. But now he could look at Cas, who was otherwise very modest with his body, all in peace. Without something hurting or aching so badly. Castiel tilted his head, seeing the mix of emotions on Dean’s face. He reached down, straddling Dean’s hips the same way as before. He stroke Dean’s cheek and smiled encouragingly.

“Dean, stay with me.” Castiel purred softly, not wanting Dean to get lost in his thoughts again. Dean nodded and quickly looked up, meeting Cas’ eyes. Dean cleared his throat.

“I just uh… I’ve never really uhm… Seen you like this…” Dean stuttered and blushed a bit. Cas smiled.

“Well, that makes this experience much more exciting doesn’t it?” Castiel said and chuckled a little. Dean rolled his eyes with a smirk.

“You dick.” Dean muttered and Castiel shook his head.

“Not all angels are dicks, remember?” Castiel murmured softly and stroke Dean’s chest before grabbing the hunter’s hand. “Here, you can touch me too, I won’t break.” Castiel said and placed Dean’s hand on his chest.

And right at that moment, Dean realised he was hella scared of breaking Cas somehow. That’s probably why he hadn’t touched much of him except for his clothes and his hair. But now… He felt Cas’ skin underneath his fingertips, tracing the muscles, the soft hairs on his chest, finger slipping over his tight nipple. Dean licked his lips, moving his hand slowly.

Cas sat up straight, letting Dean touch without interrupting, but it was hard not to moan and gasp when Dean touched especially sensitive parts on his body. “Dean-” Castiel moaned out when Dean traced his waist down to his hips, stroking his pronounced hip bones with his thumbs.

“God you’re so damn gorgeous…” Dean muttered, making Castiel blush.

“I could say the same thing to you, Dean.” The angel responded and smiled softly. “Are you done exploring? Because I’d like to kiss you again, if that’s alright?” Castiel said and Dean looked up at him, nodding quickly.

“Uh yeah, yeah sure, sorry.” Dean said and smiled crookedly up at Cas before the angel leaned down, starting to kiss Dean more softly again. He cupped Dean’s cheek with one hand, stroking the stubble while the other stroke his chest and flicked gently over Dean’s nipple. Dean groaned into the kiss, squeezing his eyes shut at the sheer pleasure of it all, and arched up against Cas. “More-” Dean managed to make his mouth word out, and Castiel nodded softly to himself.

“Alright.” Castiel agreed softly and reached down gently to Dean’s belt buckle, only fiddling with it and stroking it lightly. He could feel the bulge in Dean’s trousers right underneath it, and he knew it matched his own already. Dean wanted more, and Castiel let his fingers gently move down, cupping Dean’s crotch with his hand.

“Nah-ah- Cas-!” Dean moaned and bit his lip, pushing his clothed cock into Cas’ hand. Fuck that felt good. Dean closed his eyes tightly and gripped the bedsheet with one hand. Castiel smiled.

“I barely touched you, Dean.” The angel couldn’t help but tease, and Dean let out a deep huff.

“Well- you- uh- Shut up Cas…” Dean muttered shyly. Castiel raised one of his brows and looked down at Dean, snaking his hand around to grip the back of Dean’s head of hair.

“Hmm? What was that?” Castiel purred deeply and Dean blushed softly.

“I- Uh- Nothing-” Dean stuttered, his pupils blown wide with arousal as Castiel used that dominant voice on him that he had realised made every inch of his body tingle in like a really really good way. Castiel smiled.

“Mmm, that’s better.” Cas hummed and leaned down, pressing a few kisses to Dean’s lips before pulling back to look at him. His hand had stilled over Dean’s crotch, and Dean pushed up against his hand in frustration. 

“Don’t stop, Cas, please.” Dean nearly begged and bit his lip. Castiel nodded.

“I due time. I just want to look at you. You’re so beautiful Dean. So gorgeous, so wonderful…” Castiel breathed, stroking the back of Dean’s neck gently. Dean blushed and squirmed a little, leaning up to press a kiss to Cas’ lips.

“Hey, quit yammering and touch me more.” Dean muttered and Cas chuckled. He pushed his hand down, squeezing Dean’s member through his jeans. Dean let out a gorgeous moan, tilting his head back, his hand moving up to grab at Cas’ hips.

Dean felt warm, plump, hard in Cas’ hand and he couldn’t help but squeeze just a bit extra, just to hear the beautiful noises cascade from Dean’s lips.

“Dean…” Cas moaned back, the happiest he could be just touching Dean like this. It was so intimate, so beautiful, that even if this was how far they got for tonight, he wouldn’t mind. Not at all. Cas watched curiously though, as he felt Dean’s hand move closer to his own groin. He blushed, but nodded.

“You can touch me Dean. You’re allowed. I won’t break.” Cas repeated, having realised from the look on Dean’s face that the hunter really thought he would break at his touch. Dean nodded and gently moved his hand down, fingers stroking softly against the bulge in Cas’ trousers.

Dean blushed, licking his lips a little. He had never really… Done anything like this. Touched another dude like this. He had… Thought about it. And perhaps watched a few pornos here and there but… He had never really /done/ it. And right now. He was quite amazed by it. Dean’s blush darkened as he traced his fingers up and down the warm clothed cock, and Castiel closed his eyes and moaned softly.

“This… This is… Something…” Dean murmured, unable to wrap his head around just how awesome this was, just touching Cas, feeling him close. Castiel smiled, nodding his head.

“It’s something alright.” Castiel chuckled and moved his hand from Dean’s groin up to his own, stroking Dean’s hand. “You can touch firmer.” Castiel said and squeezed Dean’s hand around his cock after getting a nod of approval from Dean. “I’ve come to realise a firmer touch is usually more- ah- pleasurable than a light one.” Castiel smiled and moaned softly. Dean nodded and smirked.

“Yeah that’s usually how that goes.” Dean chuckled and squeezed tighter, stroking up the firm, hard length. Castiel groaned in pleasure, pushing his forehead against Dean’s shoulder. He moved his own hand back to Dean’s cock, squeezing and stroking him through the fabric.

They began rutting against each other like two teenagers desperate to get off, neither of them sure what the next step would be but neither of them wanted to stop to pay it a decent thought.

Castiel was trying his very best to not let his wings out, and it was working for now. With every touch he did to Dean, he did his best to keep Dean’s wings at bay so that they wouldn’t flare out unexpectedly. It was already taking its toll on the angel, but it didn’t matter. He would do anything to make Dean comfortable.

Eventually Cas got a little exhausted from holding himself up, so he decided to lay down next to Dean, and Dean was quick to turn to his side and slot his leg between Cas’, continuing to move and thrust against him.

Castiel moaned and pulled Dean close, pulling him into a kiss as he pushed back with his hips, hot, clothed members rubbing against each other harder, faster, harder, and even faster. Castiel’s cheeks had turned a rosy pink, and he gently pushed a hand on Dean’s chest.

“Dean- I need a moment-” Castiel said and Dean frowned but stopped. He realised something else must be wearing out Cas, because this itself wasn’t exactly a workout.

“Cas what’s wrong?” Dean asked seriously and Cas shook his head.

“I…” He blushed. He had to tell Dean what he was doing. “I’m trying to reel in both of our grace. To keep it under control. To not let yours or my wings flare out unexpectedly.” Castiel explained and looked into Dean’s eyes. “It’s… Quite difficult.” Castiel admitted in defeat. Dean swallowed, looking into Castiel’s eyes.

“Then stop it. Stop holding it, them, whatever, back.” Dean said and Castiel sighed.

“You know I can’t do that, Dean. I need to keep it under control, for your sake.” Cas said and Dean sighed.

“Screw my sake okay? Just- Just let go. I don’t want you to tire yourself out just by being intimate with me. I… I can handle it. But just in case… Just, make them appear. It’s better than a full on surprise.” Dean said and Castiel looked up at him.

“Are you sure?” He asked and Dean nodded.

“Heck yeah.” Dean replied with a soft smirk. Castiel smiled and let out a deep breath he didn’t even know he was holding. And in a split seconds, his wings spread out elegantly behind him, flaring out until they drooped down on the floor and the bed behind him. Castiel smiled.

“Your turn.” He said and pushed his palm against Dean’s chest with a smile. Soon Dean’s wings spread out as well, and Dean looked at them behind his back and then turned back to Cas.

“Feel better?” Dean asked with a smile and Cas nodded.

“A lot better, thank you.” Castiel said and chuckled a little.

This did indeed feel a lot better, and now, he could focus on being with Dean fully instead of pulling and tugging at all the strings to make sure nothing would happen that Dean didn’t want to happen.

Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean, holding him close and stroking his wings a little. Dean keened and Cas smiled. “Good?” Castiel asked and Dean nodded with a blush and a soft ‘mhm’ as a reply. Cas smiled and continued to rub the feathers between his fingertips, gasping as Dean’s slightly trembling hands grabbed his wings to do the same.

Dean’s grip wasn’t as gentle, mostly because the hunter’s hands were more rough than Cas’, but Castiel didn’t mind, it was just perfect. His cheeks went a deep rosy pink again, and he bit his lip and pushed closer to Dean.

“Dean… That’s so nice…” Castiel purred and moved to the crook of Dean’s neck, kissing and nipping at the skin as his wings trembled at Dean’s touch. Dean smiled.

“Mmm…” He agreed, feeling Castiel’s fingers run through his own wings as well.

He had never thought he’d agree to this, or even that it would feel nice at all, but here he was, enjoying every touch Cas did to his wings. And to the rest of his body.

Dean soon moved his hands back to Castiel’s crotch, gripping his cock sloppily above the fabric. Castiel moaned deeply, a guttural moan that set his grace on fire.

“That’s it.” Dean murmured, looking at Cas’ face almost distort in pleasure. “Take it.” Dean purred and Castiel’s eyes opened, suddenly glittering and sparkling with grace. His hands moved to Dean’s crotch, gripping him just as tightly back and now that he could really focus, he let go of all his inhibitions and touched Dean as much as he could.

The pushing and pulling started up once again, this time Castiel’s whole heart and soul was in it, holding nothing back.

“Cas- Cas Cas Cas- Cas I need more-” Dean stuttered suddenly and Castiel nodded.

“What-What do you want Dean?” Castiel breathed against the hunter’s lips.

“Just- Just touch me, properly, without all this fabric in the way just-” Dean gasped, his hand moving from Cas to his own belt, starting to tug it open. Castiel pulled back, watching Dean in awe.

“Slow down, slow down we’ll get there.” Castiel urged Dean, not wanting him to stress himself up too much. “We have time.” Castiel whispered against Dean’s cheek and kissed him right there before reaching down, helping ease Dean’s hand over the belt buckle and helped him undo it slowly. Castiel’s lips never left Dean’s cheek, not when he slipped the belt apart, and not when he opened the button and pulled down the zipper. He could feel Dean’s pulse quicken against his lips that had now moved down to Dean’s neck, kissing softly. “Tell me if you want to stop, Dean.” Cas whispered and nuzzled against Dean’s warm, rugged skin.

Dean’s eyes were lidded, and he shook his head softly. “Don’t stop. God damnit don’t stop.” Dean murmured, gasping loudly as he suddenly felt a very warm hand touch and wrap around his very warm cock. “Cas- Oh God- Fuck- Cas-” Dean stuttered, biting his lip so hard he almost drew blood.

“Shh…” Castiel smiled and looked up at Dean. Castiel blushed. Dean felt amazing in his hand. So hard, skin so soft, so perfect, he didn’t even dare to look down. His eyes were locked on Dean’s as he started to slowly stroke the shaft up and down. “Like this?” Castiel asked and Dean nodded, licking his bottom lip.

“Y-Yeah- Yeah like that- Damnit Cas-” Dean groaned heatedly and tilted his head back, starting to push his hips and his cock gently up into Castiel’s hand.

Cas couldn’t wait any longer, and glanced down at his hands wrapped around Dean’s member tightly. The angel blushed, his wings flaring out a little. He just about restrained himself from saying ‘wow’ outloud, but it was difficult. Very difficult.

“You look amazing Dean…” Castiel said, not a care in the world if that actually was an awkward thing to say. “So beautiful…” He continued and Dean blushed furiously now.

“Thanks…” Dean moaned and now it was his turn to bury his face against Castiel’s neck. “More. Harder.” Dean whispered softly and Castiel obliged quickly, letting his hands gracefully (pun intended) slide up and down Dean’s shaft, making the skin pull taught and the relax over and over. The head of Dean’s cock was plump and slightly glistening from his pre-cum, and Castiel had to clench his jaws at the sight.

“Oh Dean…” Cas breathed out, eyes closing.

“Don’t- Don’t stop- Please-” Dean pleaded and Castiel shook his head, having no intention to stop even to begin with.

He used both his hands, trying to pleasure Dean as well as he possibly could. All his attention was on Dean, and he didn’t even care that he wasn’t getting touched himself, because this was just as wonderful, if not even better watching Dean be in such pleasure, and hearing him moan and gasp against his neck.

“I want you to come for me Dean.” Castiel whispered suddenly, pressing a kiss to Dean’s temple. “Please? I want to see it, I want to feel it. All for me.” Castiel murmured. Dean couldn’t help but smirk.

“A bit selfish- ah- are we now-nnh-?” Dean smirked and moaned, pulling back to look into Castiel’s eyes.

“I don’t care. No one else can have you but me.” Castiel nearly growled out, his wings suddenly wrapping around Dean and pulling him even closer. Dean breathed heavily and gripped Castiel’s hips, nodding his head.

“No one else. Promise.” Dean grunted out, his pleasure getting more and more intense and he felt a deep warmth start to curl in his stomach. “Cas- I’m- I’m getting close I- God-” Dean gasped, unable to stop even though he realised him chanting the word ‘God’ probably wasn’t very nice for Castiel to hear. But it seemed the angel didn’t mind at all. Castiel nodded.

“I’m right here to catch you when you come.” Castiel reassured him, his wings wrapping tight around Dean and his other hand moving up to hold around Dean’s waist, using only one hand to stroke him now. But he knew that would be enough, and he would rather hold his hunter in his orgasm to assure him that he was close and safe.

The words helped Dean more than he was willing to admit, and he could feel Cas speeding up his strokes, and when Cas started moving his thumb over the tip of his cock, Dean nearly trembled with every touch. 

“Cas- Cas- Cas-” Dean nearly chanted now, sweat beading on his neck. “Cas I- I’m so- I’m gonna- I’m-” Dean stuttered, feeling his orgasm getting closer and closer, his body tightening for it to happen. He felt nervous though, and Castiel must’ve noticed because in and instant his lips were on Dean’s and he felt the angel kiss him deeply and desperate.

“Come for me Dean, please, you can do it, I’m right here.” Castiel whispered and suckled on Dean’s bottom lip. “I’m right here Dean. Now and forever.” Castiel breathed and stroke Dean harder.

Finally, Dean felt ready to let go, and his whole body tensed up for one last time before he felt every inch of tension release through his body along with his orgasm. A desperate whimper of Cas’ name, and a few stutters of his hips and he reached the peak of his orgasm, spilling over and into Cas’ hand and onto his belly. Castiel let out the most filthy moan yet, just feeling Dean’s release over his hand, on himself and feeling Dean’s body relax after such a tense moment. Castiel panted, holding Dean close, his wings trembling slightly. Dean was breathing just as hard, and moved his forehead to Castiel’s pushing them together.

“Cas… Mmm, Cas…” Dean breathed quietly, his voice barely there between breaths as he tried to come down from his high. It wasn’t until he felt his knuckles brush against Cas’ bulge that he realised the angel hadn’t gotten off, obviously. He had been neglecting him this whole time.

“Hey- Let me- Let me-” Dean slurred out tiredly, still in his orgasm haze as he tried to open Castiel’s belt. Castiel shook his head.

“Dean, Dean you don’t have to it’s fine just enjoy- enjoy your orgasm-” Castiel stuttered out before blushing, realising Dean’s hands weren’t fumbling or trembling at all now, and he had already gotten Castiel’s pants fully opened. He guessed the nerves had worn off.

“To hell I am. I’m getting you off too.” Dean nearly grumbled, though his words were anything but innocent, and Dean knew judging by the blush that spread across his chest. Dean glanced down, blushing as he pulled down Castiel’s boxer briefs, moaning as he bit his lip. “And here I thought you were junkless the whole time.” Dean couldn’t help but joke, a nervous joke, of course. Fueled by nerves. Castiel chuckled breathily.

“Hmm. I’m afraid not.” Castiel said and Dean huffed.

“Don’t say that. You’re awesome. You… You look amazing I mean… I… Just let me touch you?” Dean asked and Castiel nodded.

“Touch me Dean.” Castiel breathed and closed his eyes, gasping as he felt Dean’s rough hand grip his cock and stroke it hard instantly. Dean was anything but delicate, but it only made Castiel’s heart sing because he knew Dean wasn’t holding back. He was pleasuring Cas just how he would pleasure himself. Hard and rough. That’s why Castiel was more balanced, there to balance Dean out. But sometimes, this was just what the angel needed. Like right now.

Castiel bucked his hips forward, and Dean smiled up at him before kissing his lips, suddenly feeling way bolder. Maybe it was his post-orgasm haze, or the fact that he’d had his orgasm, and nothing bad happened. The roof over their head didn’t collapse, Cas didn’t break, nothing broke. Everything was the same. Everything was just… Perfect. Dean started grinning, feeling a happiness spread and Castiel must’ve felt it through their bond because low and behold a big grin spread across Castiel’s face too.

“Dean that’s very- ah- distracting-” Castiel moaned, biting his lip hard as he tried not to chuckle.

“Sorry man, can’t help it, you just make me so God damn happy.” Dean nearly growled out in arousal, starting to flick his wrist and his hand repeatedly over the head of Cas’ cock. Castiel moaned louder and a bead of pre-cum leaked prettily on the tip of his cock and Dean quickly swiped it off with his thumb, using it to be able to slide his hand up and down even easier. “I want you to come just as I came for you Cas.” Dean breathed out huskily, his eyes dark with arousal. “Please. I need to see you just as badly.” Dean pleaded and Cas nodded instantly.

Though, this was more of a new experience to Castiel, so he hadn’t really been able to warn Dean about just how close he really was, and suddenly with a cry of Dean’s name, Cas began spilling between the two of them, and Dean gasped softly.

Dean’s wings suddenly mimicked Cas’ gesture, and wrapped themselves around the angel and Dean pulled Castiel close. “That’s- That’s right just- Just let it come over you just- Fuck Cas you’re so gorgeous-” Dean groaned as he moved his hand quickly, working the angel through his orgasm, stopping at the perfect spot where he knew Cas would get overstimulated if he continued. Oddly enough, Dean didn’t care that he was messy as hell. Castiel had released quite a bit more than he had himself, and it was quite the sight to see. He had never seen another dude orgasm, at least not in real life and because of him, and he felt dang proud about it. Castiel rolled his eyes a little, able to feel Dean’s cockiness.

“Come here.” Castiel grumbled and pulled Dean close, a smirk spreading across Dean’s face. “Don’t be so full of yourself.” Castiel murmured but smiled soon, pressing a kiss to Dean’s lips. “Or perhaps be just that. Because that’s one of the reason I…” Castiel stopped, swallowing thickly. One of the reasons I /fell in love/ with you. One of the many reasons that I /love/ you Dean. No. They were not there yet…. Not yet. And the last thing he wanted was to scare Dean away. Dean smiled.

“I’ll be just how I’ve always been, don’t worry.” Dean murmured back and pressed a kiss to the corner of Castiel’s lips. Castiel nodded and then let out a deep sigh.

“Is it normal to feel this exhausted right after-”

“Yes. Yes Cas.” Dean replied quickly, nodding his head. “Perfectly normal.” Dean mumbled and wiped his hand on his own chest before reaching for a blanket. “Which is why, after sex cuddles and after sex sleep is so awesome.” Dean said sleepily with a yawn, curling close to Cas and nuzzling against his wing.

Castiel looked down at Dean with a soft look on his face. “Dean?” He asked softly and Dean nodded.

“Yeah Cas?” Dean muttered quietly, settling in to doze off.

“Thank you.” Castiel smiled. “Thank you for letting me be intimate with you. It was… Wonderful.” Castiel decided to be the right word to describe their experience. Dean smiled.

“No need to thank me.” Dean murmured and pulled Castiel closer. “Or actually, you can thank me by washing me off in the shower tomorrow morning. You made me all sticky.” Dean teased and Castiel snorted.

“I thought that was a part of sex? Getting sticky?” Castiel said, partly to tease Dean and partly because he was actually curious. Dean chuckled.

“Mhm. It sure is. Now go to sleep.” Dean muttered and pressed his face against Castiel’s chest. “And Cas?”

“Yes Dean?” Castiel murmured softly.

“Thanks.” Dean whispered and Castiel grinned slowly.

“You’re welcome, Dean.” Castiel hummed and finally settled in, thinking that perhaps tonight, after this, he would truly fall asleep for real, even though he was an angel of the lord.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was... long overdue, don't you think? ;)  
> Things sure got... steamy.
> 
> Rock on... bitches ;)


	17. Bats in the sky

17\. Bats in the sky

Dean smiled softly, rubbing his nose against Castiel’s chest. “Cas?” He purred with a deep, husky morning voice. “Hey angel.” Dean teased softly, kicking at Cas’ leg. Castiel grunted and furrowed his brows before blinking his eyes open.

“Hmm? Hello… Good morning Dean.” Castiel hummed as a smile spread across his face, reaching down to stroke Dean’s cheek gently. Dean looked up from Castiel’s chest, smirking at the angel.

“I’m pretty sure you /actually/ slept this time. Is that even possible? Did I exhaust you that much?” Dean teased with a raise of his eyebrow. Castiel rolled his eyes a bit and smiled softly.

“I… I don’t believe I actually slept, no, but something quite close to it.” Castiel said and stroke his hand through Dean’s hair. Dean closed his eyes and hummed likingly, scooting up to be face to face to Cas, snuggling up against his chest. Castiel chuckled softly. “Hmm… I never imagined you this… Cuddly.” Castiel said and Dean rolled his eyes this time.

“Hey, I can be cuddly.” Dean muttered and hugged Cas close. Castiel smiled.

“Clearly. And I’m certainly not complaining.” Castiel said and leaned down to press a kiss to the top of Dean’s head. Both of their wings were tucked away at the moment, not visible even to them, and it was a wonderful, lazy morning, until-

“Castiel? Castiel are you in there? Castiel?” Jack said and turned the doorhandle hurriedly. Dean grumbled as he looked around the room.

“We are in /my/ room, aren’t we?” Dean said and Castiel nodded.

“Are you alright to let him in? He sounds flustered.” Castiel said and Dean nodded, soon hearing a click from the lock on the door. 

Jack practically stormed in, blushing a bit when he saw Dean all tangled up with Cas. Unfortunately, his vision was a bit blurry from the tears that were brimming in them. Dean frowned.

“Hey, kid, what’s wrong?” Dean asked worried and Jack sobbed a little.

“I- I had a bad dream and- And I usually go to Castiel but he wasn’t in his room and then- then I remember Sam had said you were with each other last night so I thought maybe-” Jack rambled and Dean sat up a little, making sure they were both decent and quite glad that they had squirmed back into their clothes during the night.

“Okay, okay, easy now.” Dean tried and nodded to Cas. “You’re okay. It was just a nightmare. It wasn’t true okay? What did you dream about?” Dean asked and Jack shifted on his feet.

“I…” Jack bit his lip tightly. “I dreamt that Balthazar took you and Castiel away from me and… And it was just really bad and… I was so sad…” Jack said and wiped at his eyes. Dean sighed and waved Jack over, patting on the edge of the bed.

“Alright. Listen Jack.” Dean said seriously. “Balthazar, he’s a dick. But, he’s not /evil/. Not really. He has even helped me and Sam a few times before, and Cas as well. For better and for worse…” Dean sighed. “All I’m saying is, Balthazar is not out to hurt us…. I don’t even think he knew that the blast would hurt me. He’s just full of himself and thinks he rules the world, even /before/ he was brought back as an archangel. Alright? You don’t have to worry about him. I promise. Right Cas?” Dean said and Castiel smiled at Dean, stroking his cheek before nodding.

“Right. Dean is right in all that he said. Balthazar is not evil, he’s just… Very… Well.. Full of himself, yes.” Castiel agreed and Jack nodded. Dean had blushed a bit from the affectionate touch to his cheek, but nodded quickly.

“Yeah kid, we’re safe okay? All of us. Even if Balthazar for some reason brings us back to heaven, he won’t hurt us. Not intentionally at least.” Dean finished and Jack nodded, wiping at his eyes and sniffling a bit more.

“Okay. Okay.” Jack said and suddenly flung himself into Dean’s arms, squeezing between the two of them. Dean blushed but wrapped his arms around Jack, hugging him sincerely.

“I promise you Jack. It was just a bad dream. I’ll protect us. I’ll protect you.” Dean said and held Jack gently. Castiel looked over at the two of them, looking proud as a peacock. Dean would get Cas back for giving him that look later, but right now he just wanted Jack to calm down. Dean shifted a bit and sighed softly. “Hey, are you okay there?” Dean murmured and Jack nodded, pulling back a bit.

“Y-Yeah… Sorry.” Jack said and smiled shyly at Dean. Dean smiled and patted his shoulder. 

“Okay. Good. Now, go and wash your face off from those tears okay? It’ll feel better, and then go and have some breakfast. Good?” Dean said and Jack nodded.

“Good. Thank you Dean.” Jack said and gave Cas a quick hug before rushing out of the room to do as he was told.

Dean sighed and leaned back against the pillows and quickly raised a finger to Cas.

“Don’t. Don’t say a word.” Dean grumbled to Cas who sighed and leaned down to kiss Dean’s cheek.

“Not a word. Promise.” Castiel whispered and kissed him again. “I think you already know what I’m thinking.” Castiel smiled and nuzzled Dean’s temple before pulling the hunter back into his arms, and Dean easily letting him and pressed back against the angel’s chest tightly.

***

Dean stretched and walked out into the kitchen. Sam smiled at him over his shoulder. “You look better.” Sam said and continued on his scrambled eggs. “And well rested too. And, what’s the word, /satisfied/?” Sam teased with a small grin to himself. Dean smirked back a silly smile and resisted giving his brother a kick on the shin.

“Yep. I feel better. I am well rested. And I’m most definitely satisfied.” Dean said simply with a shrug. “Hey, don’t forget the bacon.” Dean said with a serious voice before going to get himself some coffee.

It didn’t take long until Cas followed, stepping into the kitchen, and walking directly to Sam.

“Hello Sam, how are you feeling?” Cas asked directly in concern. Dean looked up at Sam seriously, just about to ask that himself. Sam smiled and shrugged.

“I feel fine, honestly. I thought I would feel worse after that… Grace push, but I’m good.” Sam said and looked back to both Cas and Dean. Castiel nodded and smiled.

“I’m glad. We wouldn’t want you feeling poorly.” Cas said and then walked up to Dean, gently wrapping his arms around Dean’s waist.

“Woah, ey, hey there, heh,” Dean stuttered quickly and pulled away. Sam rolled his eyes, and Cas looked confused.

“I… Am I not allowed to touch you this morning?” Cas asked quietly, unsure. Dean started shifting awkwardly, stuttering on his excuse.

“I think Dean would be very excited for you to touch him, the problem is he’s too shy to let you do so in front of me.” Sam said simply as he sat down by the table with his egg-white scramble. Dean huffed.

“That is /so/ not true…” He grumbled shyly and peeked up at Cas who tilted his head softly.

“Are you shy?” Castiel asked and Dean blushed furiously.

“I’m not- I’m just- It’s just- Complicated you know? You’re- and I’m-” Dean stumbled and Castiel couldn’t help but smile just a little.

“It’s okay, you’re very pretty when you’re shy.” Castiel said simply and smiled a bit bigger before going to prepare his own breakfast plate. Sam snorted softly to himself and continued eating. It was a good thing he was nothing but supportive of his brother, that way he could keep his teasing comments in check. At least a little bit.

Dean grumbled something unhearable and grabbed a plate, following Cas to the stove to get some eggs. “What was that?” Castiel asked, raising an eyebrow at Dean. Dean blushed deeply.

“Nothing…” He murmured, not really wanting to repeat the string of curse words out loud for Cas. Castiel smiled and took Dean’s plate, loading it up with food, knowing Dean ate a lot. “I can do that myself…” Dean argued a bit, but he wasn’t really complaining. He kinda liked Cas taking care of him like this. It was… Different. But he liked it. “Thanks…” Dean said shyly and took his plate back from Cas.

“You’re welcome, Dean.” Castiel said with a deep voice and a meaningful look into the hunter’s eyes that made Dean shiver with excitement. He had to keep himself together though, and quickly hurried to the table to sit by Cas.

Castiel began eating, but once Dean was seated, he moved his hand over to Dean’s knee and gave it a loving squeeze.

Which in turn, made Dean’s leg jump in in the air and kick the table so hard it made it move harshly and cause the plates to shift. Sam rolled his eyes.

“Can we please have a normal breakfast?” Sam asked and looked at Dean who was blushing even more now.

“It was his fault!” Dean gestured towards Cas who looked at Dean with a soft smile. “He- He-”

“I don’t need to know, thanks.” Sam said and shook his head, eating once again. Dean gave a glaring evil eye to Cas, who simply reached up and stroke the hairs at the back of Dean’s neck.

“Sorry.” Castiel murmured softly, but knew that he wasn’t very sorry deep down inside. Exploring this… New relationship with Dean was quite intriguing, and he found himself getting bolder and bolder as they went. He would never overstep Dean’s boundaries though, of course. But it seemed that so far, behind the soft muttering of swear words and glares, Dean was still very much enjoying what they had been doing so far. Dean leaned into the touch on his neck a bit, sighing contently.

“Mhm. Sure you are.” Dean muttered back and then pulled himself away so he could continue eating and not give Sam more ideas to tease with.

Sam smiled to himself, especially when he saw Cas looking so happy. The angle deserved to be happy, especially after everything that had happened and Dean giving him such a rough time.

“You know, maybe you two should go on a date tonight. If Dean feels well enough.” Sam suddenly suggested and Dean nearly choked on his food, reaching for the coffee.

“Hah, what? A date I don’t think-”

“That sounds like a wonderful idea, Sam.” Castiel interrupted Dean’s stuttering and turned to him. “Would you like to go on a date with me, Dean?” Castiel asked and Dean stopped sipping on his coffee and pulled it away from his mouth.

“Uh, okay.” Dean said without hesitation oddly enough, and nodded, biting his lip a little. Castiel smiled and nodded.

“Alright. It’s settled then.” Castiel said proudly with an even bigger smile and continued on his breakfast. Sam was smiling equally as large, but noticed Dean was looking mostly concerned and nervous. He would have a talk with him later on, before the date, just to make sure Dean’s insecurities wouldn’t ruin their first date…

***

Dean had taken a quick shower after breakfast, needing to gather his thoughts. Right after breakfast, Castiel had told him he didn’t want an evening date, he wanted to go as soon as possible. Dean thought that was slightly… Forward and he wasn’t sure what Cas had in mind to do, but it didn’t seem to be the usual bar or a dinner kind of thing. Of course it wouldn’t be. It was Cas after all.

Castiel was very excited as well, and he was glad they had two bathrooms in the bunker and he washed up just as quickly before going to his room to dress. He needed to spend a bit more effort on dressing, like he had done when they had gone to that karaoke bar, but even smarter. Castiel hummed softly on a melody, not sure what it was but he was sure it was one of Dean’s old rock songs. There were just, so many, that he easily put them together and got them mixed up. Which usually made Dean slightly frustrated.

Sam knocked on Dean’s door, gently opening it. “Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?” Sam asked and peeked into the room. Dean was getting dressed, but nodded quickly as he buttoned up his shirt. Sam nodded back. “I just… I just wanted to say that… I saw how nervous you looked and, I just want you to remember that this is Cas alright? This is Cas, the last thing on earth that he wants is to hurt you. I know that might be difficult to believe from what he just did, leaving for heaven and all, but he wants all of this to go well. So just, try to get a hold of your nerves okay? Butterflies in you stomach is fine but, I don’t want you to freak out.” Sam said and sighed softly.

Dean stopped a little as he buttoned his cuffs, something he rarely did but on this occasion he felt it was necessary.

“Okay.” Dean said simply and nodded. Sam frowned.

“Uhm, okay?” Sam said and looked at Dean. Dean nodded.

“Yeah. I said okay. As in, okay, I understand what you’re saying and I’ll try my best. But the reason why I am so nervous is because this /is/ Cas. It’s huge. Like, really huge and… And I want it to go as well as possible as much as you do. I’m just… Worried. That’s all. Things rarely go our way you know?” Dean said with a soft sigh and turned around, looking at Sam. “So? Do I look decent?” Dean asked, wearing a fairly new band-tee, a jeans shirt over it and his usually jeans with his black leather belt. Sam smiled.

“Yeah, more than decent. You look great. Now go.” Sam chuckled and opened the door for him. Dean nodded.

“Right. Going.” Dean breathed and braced himself before heading for the door. He walked over with firm steps to Cas’ bedroom, holding his military jacket in his hand. He knocked softly. “Cas? You… You uh, ready?” Dean said and ran a hand through his hair to make sure it was in place.

“/Good luck./” Sam whispered and squeezed Dean’s shoulders before rushing off through the hallways before Dean could grumble at him.

It didn’t take long until Castiel opened the door, looking quite stunning but also very leisurely. He was wearing his white shirt, but it was unbuttoned and he wore a dark blue slightly washed out t-shirt underneath. It wasn’t old it was just kinda the design of it. Another shirt that Sam had picked out on their shopping trip for Cas. Castiel blushed a bit and smiled at Dean.

“You look wonderful, Dean.” Castiel said and walked forwards a bit and nodded. “Yes, I do believe I’m ready, if you are.” Cas said and gently squeezed the trench coat in his hand, having to pull himself together to not give in to the urge to pull Dean into the bedroom right now.

Castiel seemed to have the same effect on Dean though, who swayed shyly on his feet.

“You… You look amazing too. I… Yeah I’m ready. Do we need to take baby?” Dean asked and Castiel nodded.

“Yes, it’s a bit of a drive there but we’ll make it in less than an hour.” Castiel revealed and nodded, heading towards the garage. Dean sighed.

“So, you’re not going to tell me where we’re going?” Dean asked and Castiel shook his head.

“No, it’s a surprise Dean. And I know you don’t like those, but I was hoping you would trust me.” Castiel said and turned to Dean. Dean sighed. He wouldn’t really trust anyone with surprises, but he nodded softly.

“Alright, I trust you, but if it’s something weird or angel-y, I’m out.” Dean said and got into the driver’s seat. Castiel frowned.

“Shouldn’t /I/ drive since I know the way?” Castiel said and tilted his head. Dean shook his head. He needed to drive to calm his nerves.

“Nu-huh, get in the passenger seat, you can guide me there.” Dean said firmly and started the engine.

***

Castiel hummed softly as they drove in the car, not saying much at all, which drove Dean to put on some music. It didn’t take long though until he turned it off and looked at Cas heatedly.

“Alright. Where are we going?” Dean said, not really having any of this surprise thing anymore. Castiel frowned.

“I’m not going to tell you Dean. It’s a surprise.” Castiel simply repeated calmly. But Dean huffed and gritted his teeth.

“I don’t want a surprise okay? I’m kinda done with surprises if you hadn’t noticed.” Dean snapped and Castiel sighed, looking down at his lap.

“I… I wish you would trust me Dean.” Castiel said sadly and Dean sighed.

“I… I do. I do… Kinda.” Dean said and shrugged to which Castiel only looked more sad. Dean sighed. “Look, I’m just not sure what your idea of a ‘date’ is. Alright? And I don’t want it to be some sightseeing of heaven or whatever, I don’t even want to sail on a cloud okay? Just-” Dean sighed. Castiel nodded sadly.

“I… I really want it to be a surprise Dean. Please. I- I wouldn’t take you to heaven you know that how can you even- Why do you keep hurting me like this?” Castiel said sadly and Dean frowned.

“Excuse me? Keep hurting I- Damnit Cas-” Dean clenched his jaw tight. “Fine. Fine. It’s a surprise. We’ll see what happens when we get there.” Dean said and Castiel nodded. Though, it was hard to feel excited now that he knew just how little Dean trusted him, and his knowledge of the other.

***

“Take a left, we’re almost there.” Castiel said after a long, drawn out moment of silence. Dean nodded.

“We’re in the middle of nowhere Cas.” Dean muttered and Castiel nodded.

“Yes, seems like.” Castiel said and Dean rolled his eyes.

“Great. Getting murdered, wonderful first date…” Dean muttered quietly.

“Turn right.” Castiel said, not wanting to comment on what Dean had said, and Dean did as he was told, suddenly driving up a sort of narrow road that lead through a forest and to a small house. Well, a cabin, almost, and a large building beside it which looked like a garage. Dean frowned.

“Are you sure we’re at the right place? This just looks like some dude’s home Cas.” Dean said and Castiel nodded as the car came to a stop.

“Yes, it’s the right address, you stay here.” Castiel said and exited the car quietly. He was having doubts about all of this. The mood was anything but great and he wasn’t sure if this was even a good idea to continue on with. But, he tried to stay strong, and walked up to the door and knocking on it gently. Dean observed from the car, wondering what the heck was going on. He clutched his gun in his pocket, just in case.

An older man opened the door and smiled at Castiel. “Ah, you must be Steve!” The man said and Castiel nodded with a smile.

“Yes, yes I am. And you must be Derek.” Castiel said, having thought the safest bet was to lie about his name. The man nodded and smiled back, reaching out to take Cas’ hand. Cas shook it firmly and the man peeked over his shoulder to the car.

“That is a pretty looking Impala isn’t it?” The man said and Castiel nodded.

“It’s the prettiest I’ve ever seen. My boyfriend calls her baby.” Castiel said without hesitation and the man smiled, waving to Dean in the car. Dean didn’t wave back, but shifted a bit in his seat.

“Hmm, he doesn’t look too happy.” Derek said and Castiel sighed a little.

“He’s not a fan of surprises and we argued quite a lot on the way here.” Castiel said and Derek chuckled.

“Ah, young love.” The man said and chuckled a bit more. “Well, maybe you two could come in for a coffee first? My husband is preparing some as we speak.” Derek smiled and Castiel smiled back.

“We can try. If things start… Getting out of hand, we might have to do the big reveal a bit earlier.” Castiel said and Derek nodded and winked at him.

“I got your back.” Derek said and smiled, waving for Dean to get out of the car. Dean sighed, and slowly exited the car and walked up to Cas and this man he was talking to. “Hello there, you must be Dean.” Derek said and Dean shrugged.

“Depends who’s asking.” Dean said and Derek grinned.

“Fiesty one isn’t he? Him and my husband will get along just fine.” Derek said and smiled softly. “I’m Derek. Would you like to come in for some coffee?” Derek said and Dean let out a sarcastic laugh.

“No, thank you, /Derek/. I would like to have a talk with my- with eh- just get here.” Dean grumbled and pulled Castiel away. Derek watched them and headed back into their house with a soft sigh, leaving the door open for them to enter when they were ready. Dean smacked Castiel over his shoulder.

“What the hell Cas? What is this? Who’s this Derek guy and who’s his husband? And why are we here?” Dean rambled angrily and Castiel looked away nervously.

“I… It’s Steve. I introduced myself as Steve to him.” Castiel said and Dean looked livid.

“Uh-huh. Still doesn’t explain what the hell is going on!?” Dean yelled and it queued Derek to come back out.

“Right! I think it’s time for the grand reveal don’t you, Steve?” Derek said and Dean swallowed.

“Grand- You know what, Derek, I’m sure you’re a good guy, and your husband as well. My… Steve here gets a bit confused sometimes. And uh, we need to leave.” Dean said and Castiel smiled sadly at Derek. Derek frowned.

“My you are really stubborn aren’t you? And Steve has been nothing but nice to me so I’m going to help him out right now.” Derek said and walked to the garage. “Before you get into your ‘Baby’, look here for a second will ya?” Derek said, his tone a bit more harsh but still kind, somehow.

Dean reluctantly looked towards the garage, and Derek pressed a button that made the garage door slowly open. “You see, your wonderful, considerate boyfriend Steve here thought that you would enjoy to take a ride in this.” Derek said and moved back a bit.

Dean frowned, taking a step closer before he stopped, his eyes widening.

“Is that-” Dean swallowed, unable to speak. Derek nodded, revealing the special looking car inside. 

“Yep. One of the replica batmobiles, the ‘Keaton mobile’ from 1989, built on a chevy base.” Derek said and smiled as the door finished opening. “Still wanna leave?” Derek teased slightly and crossed his arms over his chest.

Castiel looked over at Dean, not sure what he was thinking, or feeling.

“Dean? Are you alright?” Castiel asked and Derek laughed.

“He’s fine. He just needs some time to take it all in.” Derek said and walked up towards them, holding out the keys for Dean. “Me and my husband rarely take this one out for a spin anymore, and it’s a shame really. Thought she could use a good drive.” Derek said and Dean looked up at him, still at a loss for words.

“I- That- Drive? Me?” Dean stuttered, slowly reaching for the keys. Derek pulled them swiftly away and nodded to Cas.

“Yep. You. Drive. But, I think you owe your boyfriend an apology for being such a dick.” Derek said and clutched the keys tightly. “I’ll be back in a jiffy.” Derek said and disappeared into the house for now.

Castiel looked down shyly, and Dean turned to him slowly.

“You… You arranged this, for me? All of this? Hunted the owner down, with my favourite model of the batmobile, ready to take it for a spin?” Dean said and Castiel nodded.

“I know it’s not… The classic idea for a date but I thought…” Castiel trailed off and Dean nodded, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“I… I’m speechless, Cas. I think this is one of the nicest thing someone has ever done for me, if not /the/ nicest.” Dean said, blushing a bit. “I… I really was a dick wasn’t I?” Dean added and Castiel nodded. “And… You’re still upset, right?” Dean said and Castiel sighed.

“I’m just… Saddened by the fact that you still think so little of me, that you still trust me so little. I’m learning this from you more and more and I… I’m not sure how to make it better. Everything I do for you just becomes wrong.” Castiel said and Dean looked down at the ground.

“I… I don’t think little of you Cas I was just… I was just nervous. You shouldn’t take everything I say so seriously man…” Dean murmured and Castiel frowned.

“But I do. Your words mean everything to me, and despite being around you for so long, I still find it hard to determine when you don’t mean things and when you do sometimes.” Castiel said and shook his head. “I just want to know when I’ll earn at least some of your trust back again, after all that has happened recently.” Castiel said and Dean stopped for a moment before shrugging.

“I don’t know when, Cas. I don’t know. I don’t trust anyone, really.” Dean said and Castiel shook his head.

“You trust your brother.” Castiel interrupted, his voice upset. Dean sighed.

“That’s different. He’s my brother he’s- You’re-” Dean stuttered, shaking his head. “Look, if it makes you feel better, we can just go home.” Dean said and looked up at Cas, willing to give up driving one of his dream cars if this wasn’t what Cas wanted right now. Cas shook his head.

“I saw your reaction to the car. I wouldn’t feel better if we left, I would feel worse.” Castiel said and looked up at Dean. “I… I forgive you.” Castiel said almost tiredly. Dean bit his lip.

“You don’t mean it.” Dean said and Castiel sighed.

“I do. Just. I forgive you. We can talk about this later. Now, show me what’s so special about this car.” Castiel said and pushed out a smile. Dean nodded, and as he did, Derek came back out.

“Are we good?” He called to them and Castiel nodded quickly.

“Yes, very, I think Dean really wants to get driving though.” Castiel smiled at Derek who chuckled.

“Ah, wonderful. See that wasn’t so hard was it?” Derek told Dean as he walked up to him. Dean blushed a little and shook his head.

“No, not at all…” Dean murmured and Derek smiled, holding out the keys.

“Take ‘em. On two conditions. Bring her back without scratches, and then join me and my husband for coffee afterwards. We also made pie, Steve might’ve slipped your love for the dessert and the fact that this is your first date. We both thought it would be special.” Derek said and that only made Dean feel guiltier.

“I- Yeah, it’s my favourite. Thanks. And definitely, coffee.” Dean said and then Derek finally placed the keys in his hand.

“Come on now, I’ll give you a tour and then you can go for a ride.” Derek said and gestured for both of them to follow him to the car.

***

Once Dean and Derek had looked over the car, and Dean had gotten more and more excited and started explaining all the special details to Cas, Cas felt a bit better. At least Dean was excited and happy again, which meant he had succeeded with his first date he had ever planned.

When they took a seat inside of the car, Dean’s face lit up like a child’s and Castiel thought to himself that it was one of the most adorable things he had seen in a while. When Dean was genuinely excited about something, the happiness on his face was so very true, and it made Castiel’s heart warm despite his own sadness.

“God I’m terrified.” Dean said as he gripped the wheel. Castiel smiled.

“You’re a great driver, I’m sure you’ll do just fine.” Cas said and nodded. Derek smiled. 

“Listen to Steve, you’ll be fine, now turn the key and get the hell out of here or I’ll push you out myself.” Derek chuckled heartily.

***

“That was awesome!!!” Dean exclaimed as he drove the car back to the garage, grinning and laughing eagerly. Castiel was laughing too, smiling at Dean lovingly.

“It truly was. Even I enjoyed it, when you didn’t drive too fast.” Castiel said, having told Dean to slow down several times.

“Come on man, you have to drive a car like this fast! They’re built to go fast!” Dean smiled eagerly and looked over at Cas. He then cleared his throat after Castiel had nodded and reached over to place a hand on his arm. “I’m sorry Cas. I… I really am. I know I’m telling you I’m sorry every day but I… I keep doing wrong. I keep getting lost and confused and… And I wish I didn’t hurt you as much as I am. I don’t need your forgiveness right now, you can take your time, but I wouldn’t have wanted to share this experience with anyone else but you. So, thank you.” Dean said and bit his lip before leaning forwards and placing a kiss to Castiel’s cheek. “I’m messed up. I know I am. And I’m trying, but I need to try harder for you. And I will.” Dean nodded and Castiel smiled at him softly.

“Dean, you’re not ‘messed up’. A lot of things have happened to you recently and I don’t blame you for your reactions. All I wish is that you could trust me a little bit more. I know you might never trust me fully, but a little bit of trust is all I ask of you, Dean.” Castiel said and reached up to cup Dean’s cheek. Dean nodded silently, wishing he could trust Cas too. “I’ll forgive you later, then.” Cas smiled and tilted his head.

“Later.” Dean agreed quietly.

***

They walked up to the little house, Dean holding the keys and Castiel following behind. Dean went to knock on the door but Derek already opened it swiftly. “Ah! Perfectly timed. How was it? Did she do well?” Derek smiled and Dean nodded, smiling back.

“It was awesome. Thank you so much for doing this. And… Sorry about my attitude earlier. I’ve… I’ve been through a lot recently. Makes me a bit on edge.” Dean explained and Derek nodded.

“I understand. Steve had already prepared me, telling me that you’ve had a rough time recently and that’s why he felt this was even more important. He just wanted to see you smile.” Derek said and Castiel blushed, looking away. Dean looked at Cas, nodding a little.

“Yeah, he would do anything for me.” Dean said and cleared his throat before handing back the keys to Derek. Castiel smiled at Dean a little and placed a hand on his back, showing him that yes, he really would do anything for him.

They entered the living room, and saw another man, looking about the same age as Derek, sitting in wheelchair. Dean cleared his throat. “Uh, hi there. I’m Dean this… This is Steve.” Dean said and the man nodded.

“I heard.” The man grumbled lowly and Derek carried in the pie and the coffee.

“This is Pete.” Derek explained and sat the things down on the coffee table. Pete looked up at him before looking up at Dean and Castiel. Dean nodded.

“Hey Pete. Is that short for Peter?” Dean said as he sat down, and Pete glared at him.

“No. ‘s just Pete.” He said and reached for a cup. Dean’s smile faltered a bit, but he nodded softly.

“Pete is just fine on it’s own. Doesn’t need the ‘r’ at all.” Dean began to ramble and Castiel reached over and stroke his back, silently telling him to stop and calm down. “Hey, thanks for letting me take the batmobile for a spin. Oh God I’ve always wanted to say that.” Dean added and Derek chuckled, sipping his coffee. Pete just nodded and sipped his coffee as well.

Castiel reached forward and sliced up the pie, handing a piece to Derek and Pete first before serving Dean and lastly himself. Derek smiled.

“So, how did you two meet?” Derek asked and Dean nearly spit out his coffee. Castiel just smiled.

“It’s a rather funny story. My car broke down and Dean here worked at a garage at the time. I came in to him in quite a state, I was in a hurry to a meeting and my car just stopped out of the blue. Dean drove back to my car with me and helped me out. Managed to get to my meeting just in time even. I called him the ‘best mechanic in the world’. I still think he is, but we’ve started our own company instead, restoring old books. It’s going quite well.” Castiel explained, Dean looking at him almost in shock. Wow. Cas had thought a lot about this hadn’t he? And for a moment there, Dean truly wished that was how they had met, and what they were working with right now. Dean got lost, looking at Cas, thinking how their life would’ve been. Derek smiled.

“Well, I say, it’s always good to know a mechanic, and even more so the best mechanic in the world.” Derek smiled at Dean who looked quite enchanted with the whole situation. Castiel turned to him, and smiled softly.

“Yes, I couldn’t be happier.” Castiel said to Dean, and Derek too, but cupped Dean’s cheek and leaned forward to kiss his cheek softly. Derek smiled and sunk back into his chair.

Pete watched them as well, sighing deeply. “Restoring old books sounds dull.” Pete commented and Derek nudged him harshly. “Pete!” Derek huffed and Castiel chuckled.

“Actually, we don’t always have to read them. It’s more… cosmetic in a way, depending on what type of book and how damaged it is. You can’t even imagine how many strange books there are out there, especially the really old ones.” Castiel chuckled and sipped his coffee and took a bite of his pie.

Dean suddenly laughed and nodded. “Hah-! Yeah, the old ones they’re old. Like, really old.” Dean said and then cleared his throat. Awkward. Dean looked at Cas and quickly sipped his coffee. Cas smiled at Dean and chuckled softly. Castiel could tell Dean was enjoying his little stories, and it made him quite happy. He had thought about it more than he would like to admit, and no matter what scenario he thought up, Dean was always the hero. The one who helped Cas. The one who took care of him. It was never the other way around.

***

Pete was a man of few words, and Dean decided not to ask much about why he was sitting in a wheelchair. But as the sun started setting, the conversation had grown more casual, and actually enjoyable to Dean. It wasn’t often he met new people and got to just sit down and talk like this, and the more he warmed up, the better he felt about this new experience. Suddenly, Pete shifted in his seat.

“Need my painkillers Derek. Damn werewolves…” Pete muttered and Dean frowned.

“What did you say?” Dean asked and Derek let out a nervous laugh.

“Wolves! Those damn wolves caught his legs. Big ones as well.” Derek said and hurried towards the kitchen. “I’ll be right back!” Derek called and Pete leaned in close.

“It was werewolves, don’t listen to him.” Pete said and Dean nodded.

“I believe you.” Dean said and Pete’s eyes widened curiously.

“Oh you do, do you?” Pete said and Dean nodded. 

“Yep, hunted some myself.” Dean said and Castiel’s eyes widened.

“Dean, Dean maybe it’s time we leave.” Castiel said quickly and Pete started smiling for the first time the whole time they’d been there.

“How about vampires, hunted any of those?” Derek said and Dean ignored Cas and nodded.

“Yeah, quite a few.” Dean said and drank from his drink that that had changed from coffee to a bottle of beer during their stay. 

“Dean.” Castiel said worriedly again but Pete only grinned wider.

“Honey! You didn’t tell me Dean here was a hunter!” Pete said eagerly and Derek nearly dropped his glass of water.

“I- Hunter? We don’t hunt dear.” Derek tried and looked at Castiel apologetically. Pete rolled his eyes.

“Drop the act hun, Dean here’s a hunter. Killed both werewolves and vampires am I right?” Pete said and toasted Dean’s beer bottle with his own. Dean smiled.

“Damn right.” Dean said and Derek’s face paled a little. 

“We… We don’t do that anymore. Hunt. And if you do I’m sorry but you’ll have to leave.” Derek said and both Dean and Pete frowned.

“Are you kidding me? I haven’t met a fellow hunter in years!” Pete argued and Derek looked at Cas worriedly. Castiel nodded.

“I think it’s time to go Dean.” Castiel said and gripped Dean’s shoulder tightly. Dean frowned.

“Why? This is great.” Dean said and smiled at Pete. Castiel sighed.

“We need to respect Derek’s wishes, Dean. Derek invited us here, not Pete. And now we have overstayed our welcome. Come, let’s go.” Castiel said, not really sad or angry, just worried about Derek and his strong reaction to all of this. Castiel was always in favour for anything that made Dean happy, but they had been invited here in good trust and if they broke it, Castiel would feel very guilty about it.

Dean sighed but nodded, getting to his feet and reaching over to shake Pete’s hand.

“We’ll talk some other time okay? And those stupid werewolves that hurt you can go to hell yeah?” Dean said and smiled at Pete who smiled back, before going to Derek, looking more apologetic. “I’m sorry if I stepped over some boundaries. I just got excited when Pete looked a bit happier. Thank you so much for doing this for us.” Dean said and shook Derek’s hand. Derek smiled and nodded.

“Thank you, we loved having you. I’m sorry, I just need to… It’s just a lot…” Derek said and Dean raised his hands.

“Hey, I totally understand. We’ll go. And perhaps we can meet again in the future?” Dean said and bid his goodbyes to a nodding Derek. Castiel walked up to Derek and smiled.

“I’m sorry for how this ended. Dean is very passionate about his… Side hobby of hunting.” Castiel decided on, not wanting to break their beautiful illusion on how they met. Derek smiled.

“Well, we need people to keep us all safe, so I’m not complaining.” Derek said and sighed softly. Castiel nodded.

“Thank you for your hospitality, the pie, and the drive. I am very grateful. And thank you for your help with Dean.” Castiel said before saying good bye as well and leaving with Dean in the Impala.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm very sorry that this update took a bit longer.  
> i thought i was going to post another chapter before I disappeared but I didn't so I'm telling you now at least.  
> I've been in the process of moving basically this whole week and it's taking it's toll on me.  
> I'm still nowhere near finished, so things might still be a bit slow until I'm settled.  
> I hope you'll stay with me and I'm so grateful for your patience.
> 
> Thank you <3
> 
> Rock on... <3


	18. Dean Winchester is a very special man.

18\. Dean Winchester is a very special man.

Dean sighed as they drove off in the Impala, suddenly turning and coming to a stop on the side of the road, nothing but fields around them. Cas frowned.

“Why are we stopping? Are you alright?” Cas asked worriedly and looked at Dean.

“I’m fine.” Dean said and then proceeded to take off his shirt, glad he had thought so far as to have a t-shirt under it, and then began tying his shirt around his head and over his eyes.

“I… I hope you are not driving blind Dean. While I trust your driving skills immensely I highly doubt that’s a good-”

“I’m not driving. You are.” Dean interrupted Cas and then hopped out of the car, switching seats with a very confused Castiel. He continued to knot the shirt, making sure he saw nothing once he was seated in the passenger seat. Castiel looked over at him.

“I’m still not sure what’s going on here.” Cas said and Dean sighed.

“This is my way of showing how much I trust you. It might not be the perfect way, but it’s one way.” Dean said and fumbled as he reached over to grip Castiel’s arm. “I can’t see anything, and you’re driving, and you can drive me anywhere you want. The date doesn’t stop here. Pick any place you want and I trust it’ll be awesome.” Dean said and let go of the angel’s arm before sinking back down in his seat. “Alright, let’s go!” Dean said and hit the dashboard a bit too hard since he didn’t know the distance from it to his hand.

Castiel smiled and snorted softly. “You’re an idiot, Dean.” Castiel said and shook his head, turning the keys to the Impala. “But you’re an adorable idiot.” Castiel said and Dean grinned cheekily.

“Well as long as I’m adorable I can be whatever you want baby.” Dean teased and tried to playfully punch Cas’ arm but instead hit the seat. “Ouch- Just go okay-” Dean said and Castiel laughed softly.

“As you wish.” Castiel said and began driving.

It didn’t take long until Castiel figured out exactly where he wanted to go. This time, he would admit, he was a bit more selfish in his choice, but he was sure Dean would still love it. To his surprise, Dean sat rather calmly in his chair. He sang along to the music, looking like he didn’t have a care in the world. Castiel had expected him to scream and shout at each little wrong maneuver he made, but there was none of that. Perhaps… Perhaps someone taking control, was just what Dean needed. Castiel couldn’t help but toy with the thought a bit, wondering what they could do to make Dean feel so relaxed and happy…

***

“Alright, we’re here.” Castiel said as he pulled up to park. Dean nodded. 

 

“Great, I have no clue where we are but, I trust you, Cas.” Dean said with a crooked smile. Castiel smiled and turned off the engine.

“Now… This location is a bit more for me, I will say. But I think you will like it. We should hurry though, I think they close soon.” Castiel said and moved around to help open the door. Dean nodded and fumbled as he got out, refusing to take the blindfold off yet. “You can take that off now. Otherwise walking will be quite difficult.” Castiel said and frowned as Dean reached out with his arm.

“Still doing the trust game, you guide me, I’ll walk.” Dean said and smirked, squeezing Castiel’s arms tight as he found something to hold on. Castiel blushed a bit, and stopped for a moment before leaning in to kiss Dean’s cheek.

“You’re /my/ adorable idiot, never forget that.” Castiel whispered and then wrapped an arm around Dean’s waist, slowly guiding him towards the building. Dean was blushing quite a lot from that, but luckily the shirt tied around his head covered that up pretty well. He had honestly no clue where they were, and he felt guilty, realising he didn’t know too much about Cas’ interests. He would have to find that out somehow. Sooner rather than later.

As much as Cas was easy to figure out when you first met him, when you got to know him, he was very much intricate. Dean somehow thought he knew Cas, but he knew there were still some mysteries to him, and he was starting to get very excited to get to know them as well.

“Alright, I think I need to take the blindfold off now, otherwise the sounds will ruin the surprise.” Castiel said and Dean grinned.

“What? Are we at a rock concert or something?” Dean grinned but when the blindfold fell and he stared at quite a run down place, he frowned. And then he read the sign. “Animal shelter?” Dean said, quite confused. Castiel nodded and grinned proudly.

“Yes. I heard they had guinea pigs here. Let’s go.” Castiel said eagerly and grabbed Dean’s hand. Dean shook his head fondly but followed him inside.

“Guinea pigs? What’s that?” Dean asked, not so well versed with the pets other than dog and cat. And bunny of course. He secretly loved bunnies. “Is it like a small piglet?” Dean asked and Castiel shook his head, eagerly looking for the right section.

“No it’s like… It’s like a large hamster. With more fur. And they squeak. And they’re adorable.” Castiel said eagerly like a child. Dean smiled softer and nodded.

“Alright, let’s find one of these pigs then shall we?” Dean said and began helping Cas look for the section with small animals.

Dean stopped suddenly, gazing into the cage with the softest looking bunnies. Castiel didn’t realise Dean had stopped but felt the tug of his hand and turned around. He tilted his head curiously and joined Dean by his side.

“Dean? Do you like the bunnies?” Cas said, with a surprisingly deep voice. Dean blushed.

“Nah I just- I mean- Look how soft they look… And it’s begging eyes…” Dean murmured and pouted a bit as he looked into the cage. “Alright fine. I love bunnies okay?” He grumbled and gripped the cage with his hand gently. Castiel smiled. He had never seen such care to come from Dean towards an animal, an innocent small, cuddly animal, and it was the most heartwarming and adorable thing in the world.

“They are lovely. Very soft looking.” Castiel agreed and gently wrapped an arm around Dean’s waist again. He wanted to suggest that they could get one, but deep inside he knew that any animal would be cruel to have deep down in the bunker. But at least they could visit them here, whenever they wanted, the worker there had promised. They could even volunteer, if they liked, and Castiel had gotten quite excited by that offer. It wasn’t very different from hunting. Helping animals, doing good for the innocent and helpless. And not getting paid for the job either. But they got paid in gratitude, and soft fluffy bunny hugs, of course. At least if Dean got to choose the animal in question.

Dean nodded before turning to Cas, blushing a bit.

“Alright, let’s see these pigs of yours.” Dean teased lovingly and let Castiel’s arm wrap around his waist as they walked down the hallway. Castiel nodded, looking at all the empty cages that had signs saying “I got a home!”. Castiel was glad, that many of the helpless little beings had found a place to live.

Soon though, Cas suddenly perked up at the sound of the guinea pigs squeaking.

“Over there!” He said excitedly and pulled Dean along. He had seen videos of guinea pigs, plenty of them, but he had never seen one in real life and now that he was about to, he felt really excited. He rushed to the cage and smiled widely. “Look at them…” Castiel said adoringly and smiled into the cage. Dean came up beside him and frowned a little. To him, they mostly looked like overly furry rats, and to be honest, Cas’ infatuated look towards them made him feel quite jealous.

“Mhm, small and cute.” Dean muttered and crossed his arms. Castiel turned to him and frowned, before realising and feeling the jealousy through their grace bond. Castiel smirked.

“Don’t worry, you’re still the most adorable living thing on earth I have ever seen, Dean.” Castiel hummed and pulled Dean close, giving him a deep kiss on the neck. Dean tried to keep his pouty face up, but melted quickly at the kiss and moaned softly.

“Okay, if you say so.” Dean hummed as a smile returned to his lips, but it disappeared when Cas pulled back to kneel by the guinea pig cage.

“You must be Steve!” A woman came walking up to them. “I find you where I find the guinea pigs huh?” She teased, all in good nature of course. Castiel quickly stood up and shook her hand.

“Yes, that’s me, and yes, the guinea pigs are quite adorable.” Castiel said eagerly with a grin. Dean cleared his throat obnoxiously loud, getting jealous again and Castiel glanced back at him. “This is Dean, my boyfriend.” Castiel said proudly and Dean began to blush but smile quite proudly as well.

“Hey there. Excuse my… Boyfriend and his unhealthy obsession with guinea pigs.” Dean said and to his surprise, it looked like Castiel had dropped his jaw completely to the floor. Dean… Dean had actually called him his boyfriend to someone? /In public/? Castiel felt like he was about to faint, but he managed to get a grip of himself when the lady shook Dean’s hand.

“Oh well, an obsession with these cute furry things are better than any other unhealthy obsession am I right?” She said and Dean gave her a polite nod and a smirk.

Castiel was practically bubbling with emotions. Dean had called him his boyfriend. In public. To another person. Just like that. Castiel looked over at Dean, who now seemed to realise not only what he had done, but how much it had affected Cas in reality. It made Dean blush deeply, and feel both proud of himself and guilty that he hadn’t done it sooner. Castiel suddenly couldn’t take it anymore, and in one quick move, he took Dean’s hand.

“Excuse us.” Castiel told the girl who nodded with a confused look as Castiel began dragging Dean to the bathrooms.

“Cas… What did I do wrong now?” Dean nearly whined in frustration. But he soon got an answer to that question, and he hadn’t done anything wrong at all. In fact, soon Castiel’s lips were firmly planted on Dean’s and the hunter was pushed against the wall as Castiel kissed him hard.

“Say it again.” Castiel said with a deep determined voice. Dean blushed.

“You’re my boyfriend, Cas.” Dean said without hesitation, quickly realising what he wanted to hear again. Castiel only kissed harder in response to that, and moaned deeply as he slotted his knee between Dean’s legs and grinded against him hard. Dean moaned into Castiel’s mouth and gripped his shirt tightly in his hands, grinding back up. This was torture, knowing they were the only ones there, and they couldn’t very well get off in the bathrooms, could they?

“Good /boy/.” Castiel nearly purred, not entirely sure where he had gotten the ‘boy’ from, but it had slipped naturally from his lips. Dean seemed to like it though, according to the moan that was swallowed by Castiel’s lips. Castiel didn’t want to let go, not for anything on the planet, but he knew this wouldn’t last as long as he wanted to. He gently let go, panting hard. “We- We should go back out-” Castiel stuttered, reddened lips, messy hair. Dean laughed.

“You looking like that? And me looking like this?” He said and pointed to the groin and to his semi-hard on he was sporting. Castiel blushed.

“Maybe not. We can… Wait here a little while.” Castiel agreed as he went to the sink to wash off his face and correct his hair back into place. Dean bit his lip and chewed on it a little.

“Ya know, things like this takes a while to get away… Make it go quicker?” Dean asked innocently and rubbed his crotch against Castiel’s hip. Castiel raised an eyebrow and dried off his face with a paper towel.

“What are you suggest- No, Dean we can’t. We’re the only ones here and I promised that we would behave.” Castiel said and Dean frowned. “Well, perhaps not those exact words but- you know what I mean…” Castiel sighed and Dean only moved closer.

“Please, Cas? Get… Get me off? I’ll be your good… boy.” Dean said and blushed, licking his bottom lip slowly. Castiel blushed and looked down for a moment before gently cupping Dean’s cheek.

“You’ll be a good boy, if you can get a hold of yourself, and wait until we get home.” Castiel responded with a thick and heavy voice. Dean swallowed and nodded.

“Or- Or we could not go home and- and get a motel room, instead?” Dean suggested. That sure enough piqued Castiel’s interest.

“Perhaps… We could do that, yes. But then you would have to behave, for now. Can you do that for me, Dean?” Castiel asked and looked deeply into Dean’s eyes. Dean nodded quickly and swallowed hard.

“Yeah- Yeah of course.” Dean agreed and slipped away with his crotch just a little to give Cas more room. Castiel smiled and nodded, stroking Dean’s cheek with his thumb before pulling his hand away.

“You stay here and… collect yourself for as long as you need to, come out when you’re ready.” Castiel hummed before he left the bathroom, quite pleased with himself and his endeavour.

Dean tried his best to snap out of it, and collect himself, or whatever Cas had said he should do. It was damn difficult, but eventually he managed to cool off and headed outside. And there she was, that damn girl talking to his Cas. His… Boyfriend. Dean nearly stormed back up to them and slid up behind Cas.

“Hey there. Anything happen while I was gone?” Dean said and Castiel smiled at him, quickly wrapping an arm around his waist and holding him close. Cas shook his head.

“No, not really. We were just talking about the guinea pigs and what care they require and that we are both welcome to come and help with the animals if we’d like.” Castiel revealed and Dean huffed out a sarcastic laugh.

“Why the hell would we do that?” Dean nearly barked out and Castiel blushed deeply, the girl looking quite confused and saddened by that. Dean blushed, realising his mistake. “I mean uh, why would we /not/ want to do that? Of course we’ll come help. For the animals, right heh?” Dean said and punched her shoulder playfully and got an apprehensive smile from her.

“Right… Anyway, we really need to start closing now, I’m sorry.” She apologised, looking to Cas who nodded quickly.

“Of course, we’ll leave right away. Thank you for your hospitality and kind offer. We’ll be back in the future, I’m sure.” Castiel said and then turned around, walking Dean towards the exit door. Dean had smiled a bit at the girl, but then followed Cas obediently.

“Sorry ‘bout that last part… I wasn’t thinking…” Dean murmured and Castiel smiled fondly.

“It’s fine Dean, don’t worry. Now, let’s find a motel then. As you requested.” Cas said with a soft smirk as they headed up to the Impala and Cas once again got into the passenger seat.

Dean was honestly surprised to see Cas agreeing to going to a motel, and he also got childishly excited.

“Alright, uh, let’s go then!” Dean said eagerly and jumped into the driver’s seat, patting the roof eagerly before turning on the engine. Castiel shook his head and smiled fondly. When Dean got excited about the little things, that was all that mattered to him. It was sweet, and genuine, and Castiel loved it.

“I should call your brother, just so that he doesn’t worry about us.” Castiel said and Dean rolled his eyes.

“Fine.” Dean muttered and watched as Cas reached for his phone. Castiel smiled as Sam picked up.

“Sam, I called to let you know that we’re not coming home tonight. I- Yes. No it went well. For the most part.” Castiel spoke and earned himself a glare from Dean in return. Castiel smirked a little. “No we’re going to a motel. Yes. Yes. Dean requested it and I agreed. What do you mean protection? We’re not going on a hunt Sa- Are we going on a hunt?” Castiel asked Dean, nearly angry in his tone of voice. If there was anything he didn’t want to do right now, it was going hunting. Dean rolled his eyes.

“Gimme that.” He said and snatched the phone from Cas’ hand. “Yeah, quit screwing with Cas’ head alright? Yeah, mhm, uhuh, very funny. Night Sammy.” Dean said and hung up quickly. Castiel frowned.

“What was so funny?” Castiel asked. Dean’s expression looked more angry than amused. Dean sighed.

“He said that isn’t the type of screwing- You know what never mind.” Dean changed his mind quickly about explaining the joke Sam had made. “And no, we’re not going hunting Cas. We’re going somewhere where we can sleep and be alone. Somewhere nice and calm. Less… Bunkery.” Dean nodded and Castiel smiled.

“Ah. I understand. But, Dean, I thought we would also get a chance to be… Intimate. But if you want to only rest then that’s more than fine by me, you need your rest after everything and-”

“Shut up Cas. Of course we’re going to be... intimate just- Chill. Alright?” Dean said and Castiel suddenly looked pleased.

“Wonderful.” Castiel said simply and looked out the front window with a small smile. Dean couldn’t help but smile as well and shake his head fondly

***

Dean was nervous. Like, actually schoolgirl kind of nervous. Like in those stereotypical movies. He practically rushed into the motel ahead of Cas and stormed to the reception. A younger man smiled at him softly.

“How can I help you this evening?” He said and Dean nodded.

“Uh, I want a room, like, a fancy room. Do you got any?” Dean said and licked his lips nervously, and the man smiled.

“We do have the honeymoon suite.” The man said after peeking over Dean’s shoulder, seeing the other man in a trench coat stand in front of the drink vending machine and trying to make it work. Dean blushed.

“Honeymoon- I, uh, probably can’t afford that one. What’s the nicest room after that?” Dean asked and the man hummed in thought.

“Well, we do have a few presidential suites, but they are not as nice for couples.” The man said and then chuckled a little as he watched Cas trying to figure out all the buttons on the machine. “I’ll tell you what, you can have the honeymoon suite for the same money as one of the cheaper rooms. Will that be good?” The man asked and Dean looked surprised.

“Uh, yeah, actually that sounds great. Thanks.” Dean said, feeling very pleased and a bit at ease. He wanted Cas to have the nicest room they could get, even though he knew the angel probably didn’t care about that one bit. He reached for his wallet and began pulling out some cash. “And a uhm… A bottle of uhm…” Dean nodded behind the clerk. “Astroglide.” Dean rambled out and then coughed loudly. The man grinned and quickly turned around, fetching a bottle of lubricant for Dean.

“Here you go. And, just so you know, I have painkillers and soothing creams, just in case.” The man said and winked at Dean who wished he was dead right then and there at that comment. Was it that obvious that he wanted to… That he wanted Cas to… He turned around, seeing the happiness on Cas’ face as he walked towards the entrance, holding two sodas. “Look at you. You figured it out.” Dean said and then turned to the clerk. “Thanks.” Dean said sincerely and took the bottle and the key, before heading towards the stairs. “I already got our key, c’mon.” Dean murmured to Cas who nodded and smiled at the clerk.

“Good evening.” Castiel said to him and the man grinned.

“Good evening to you too.” The man said with a gentle hum and a bite of his lip, and what Castiel could’ve sworn was a cheeky wink. Castiel frowned and headed up the stairs after Dean.

“Dean, I think that man was flirting with me.” Castiel said flat out as Dean lead them both to the room. He shook his head.

“Nah Cas, don’t worry, he knows you’re with me.” Dean said confidently and opened the door. “Don’t worry about it-” He said, but then suddenly stopped as they stepped inside of the room.

To Dean’s surprise, the room was actually very nice. No tacky heart shaped bed, no eye-stinging wallpaper. It was… Elegant, actually. More than he could’ve asked for. Castiel was also surprised, and Dean would’ve never thought that Cas would even notice the quality of the room.

“Dean… This is beautiful, how could you afford it?” Castiel said, confused, but extremely happy. Dean smiled and dropped the bottle of lube and the key on the bed.

“Well, for once, the clerk of the motel was actually very nice. So he lowered the price for us. Saw that it was… important.” Dean said and shrugged with a shy blush on his face. Castiel nodded. It was very important, but now, he was more curious about the bottle on the bed as he put the sodas on the little coffee table.

“What is that?” Castiel asked and pointed to the bottle of ‘Astroglide’. Dean’s eyes widened and he quickly looked away.

“It’s uhm, it’s a uh…” Dean stuttered softly. Castiel frowned. “It’s to help.” Dean said simply and shrugged. Castiel tilted his head.

“Help with what?” He asked and Dean let out a frustrated sigh.

“Help you, help me you know, /take you in/.” Dean said and heard how ridiculous it sounded in his head but it was too late now.

“Take me in where- Oh.” Castiel stopped suddenly, beginning to blush as well. “I see.” He added and nodded. “Good.” He cleared his throat, not sure why he felt so awkward, but it was probably because Dean felt so shy about it himself to begin with. Dean nodded.

“Yeah, yeah it’s good. It’s all good.” Dean said and tugged off his jacket, throwing it on a nearby chair. He began stretching a bit, trying desperately to shake the nervousness off of himself.

During the time Dean was stretching, Castiel was frowning, still wearing his trench coat, thinking about what Dean had said. Dean wanted to make love, and not only that, he wanted to let Cas in, intimately. Castiel started to blush, and Dean smiled.

“Are you going to wear that trench coat all night?” Dean teased a little, walking up towards Cas. “You okay?” He hummed softly and Cas nodded.

“Yes, yes I’m fine. Sorry.” Castiel said and began to quickly undress his coat. Dean smiled back, blushing a bit.

“What were you uhm, thinking about?” Dean asked as Castiel slipped the trench coat over a chair and began undoing his tie. He blushed.

“I… Just about what you said, what it… Entails.” Castiel smiled. He rolled his eyes slightly at Dean’s quizzical look. “I didn’t realise just how intimate you wanted us to be, and I did not anticipate that you would want to… Take me in.” Castiel said, again for the lack of a better word. Now it was Dean’s turn to blush furiously.

“Uh… Well… I didn’t really know that either until uh… Until right about now… Or like, a few minutes ago…” Dean rambled. “I mean I like it when you… When you take charge and when you uhm… Praise me. I… I like that…” Dean mumbled and looked down at his feet. Castiel smiled.

“I… I really want to make love to you Dean.” Castiel said softly and moved up to him. “The first time we were intimate… It was incredible. But it left me wanting more, and I realised, I wanted to make love to you Dean. To hold you, to feel you impossibly close…” Castiel wrapped one arm around Dean and the other went up to his neck, stroking softly. “So very close…” Castiel whispered, his eyes going dark with arousal, and the nervousness in the room changed into something much more heated, and loaded.

Dean shivered pleasantly at Castiel’s deep voice, closing his eyes and leaning his head further down so that Castiel could stroke his neck even more. Castiel smiled. “Do you like that?” Castiel asked and Dean snorted softly.

“Don’t ask stupid questions.” Dean grumbled and shifted a bit closer, feeling Castiel’s arm slowly wrap around his waist to hold him tight. Cas smiled.

“I apologise.” Cas hummed and leaned his head down, stroking his nose against Dean’s temple. “Did you enjoy our date today?” He asked curiously, wanting to know if Dean had enjoyed himself in the end. Dean looked up at smiled softly.

“Yeah, yeah I did. Loads actually. I’m sorry that I was… A bit of a jerk in the beginning of it all… I hope I redeemed myself later?” Dean asked and Castiel smiled with a nod.

“Of course you did.” Castiel replied and nodded once more. “I’m just happy to hear you had a nice time. I know this wasn’t your typical date, but I wanted to do something special. Something you perhaps hadn’t done before on a first date.” Castiel smiled and Dean snorted.

“Are you kidding me? I’ve never ridden a freaking bat-mobile on a first date, let alone met a hunter out of the blue that might be a good friend if his partner loosens up a bit, and then I got to see bunnies. Best date ever.” Dean said without any hesitation or shame.

Castiel’s whole face lit up with a bright smile and he shook his head fondly.

“You amaze me, Dean, each and every day.” The angel said and tilted Dean’s head up by his chin. “Never stop being who you are, promise?” Castiel asked and Dean nodded.

“I’ll never stop. Promise.” Dean said and his eyes went lidded, gently nudging Castiel’s cheek with his nose. “I… I kinda really want to kiss you now…” Dean murmured with a soft blush and Castiel smiled.

The angel leaned forward, and gently pressed his lips against Dean’s, taking the bottom lip into his mouth and sucking on it softly before letting it pop out, now wet and more red than before. Dean moaned, going in for another kiss, his hands finding Castiel’s shirt with which he pulled them both tighter against each other.

“Cas- Bed-” Dean breathed against Castiel’s lips, and Cas nodded quickly. Castiel pulled back reluctantly, and started pulling Dean towards the bed. Dean began fiddling with Castiel’s shirt buttons, but soon found the back of his legs hitting the edge of the bed and he fell quite ungracefully into the soft springy well made bed. Dean grinned and chuckled a little, putting his arms behind his head to prop himself off. “Fine, then you finish the job.” Dean teased and Castiel smiled, unbuttoning his shirt little by little until he could slip it off effortlessly. Dean blushed, front row tickets to Castiel undressing wasn’t all that bad, huh?

“Better?” Castiel asked, without shirt, but his trousers still on as he slowly sat down on the edge of the bed. Dean propped himself up on his elbows, shrugging.

“Kinda. But you better lose some more clothes for this to work.” Dean teased and grinned. Castiel smiled and nodded to Dean’s shirt.

“You first.” He said and Dean clenched his jaws impatiently before starting to nearly rip off his shirt, not doing the job nearly as effortlessly as Cas did. Castiel chuckled as Dean tossed the shirt on the floor and moved up to lay beside him on the bed. The angel smiled, stroking Dean’s cheek softly, lovingly with his fingertips. Dean smiled.

“Hey there.” Dean said shyly and looked into Castiel’s blue eyes. Castiel snorted softly.

“Hello.” He replied, realising that perhaps they hadn’t gotten through the nervousness quite yet. Their first time, it had all been so heated, quick, and their urges had drove them on. Of course, they were still eager and by God they had their urges, but this time, it felt even more intimate that the first. Especially when Dean considered how far he wanted to go. Dean shifted closer, placing his head on Cas’ chest.

“Do you still want to make love to me?” Dean asked and Castiel frowned.

“Of course I do. What made you think I wouldn’t?” Castiel asked and Dean shrugged shyly.

“I just thought… I mean… I’m all nervous and jittery and… I don’t know it’s not like me and I’m trying to calm down but it’s hard. I guess this is just… Important to me.” Dean finished and Castiel nodded thoughtfully.

“Dean, I still want to make love to you, and I’ve promised to take things slow. We’ll get there. I’m a very patient person.” Castiel hummed and Dean nodded.

“You’re a very patient boyfriend.” Dean corrected and it made Castiel blush and his heart warm.

“Yes, yes I am.” Castiel said proudly and Dean moved back up to nuzzle against Cas’ cheek.

“I want to undress the rest of you.” Dean whispered and Castiel nodded. Slowly he guided Dean’s hands to his crotch, stroking those beautiful but rough fingers as he opened the angel’s belt. Castiel let out a soft moan, biting his lip as he felt the belt slide open and Dean’s fingers moving to the zipper.

A few soft movements later, and Castiel laid beside Dean in his boxers only, and had begun working on Dean. Dean actually giggled and smiled, squirming around, getting playful as he tried to make things harder for Cas. Castiel huffed and shook his head fondly.

“Hmm, making things difficult for me are we?” Castiel hummed with a teasing voice, trying to steady Dean’s hips with his hand. “How am I going to praise you if you keep being /naughty/?” Castiel asked, and Dean almost instantly stopped squirming so that Castiel could remove his trousers. “There, now that’s my good boy.” Castiel purred and captured Dean’s lips in a bruising kiss, stroking the hunter’s reddened cheek from the praise with his thumb. Such a small thing rose Dean’s pulse alarmingly much, but Castiel loved the response he was getting. He knew he was doing the right thing, and he knew Dean loved it more than anything.

They started rocking against each other, clothed members starting to rub against each other and becoming harder and harder. Castiel moaned into Dean’s ear, and moved his hand around to stroke Dean’s bottom softly in his hand. He cupped it and squeezed it just a little, which made Dean moan surprisingly loud, and push his ass back into Castiel’s hand. “Dean-” Cas nearly groaned, wanting to touch Dean even more, as soon as possible. Dean moaned back and nodded his head.

“Cas- Cas just- Fucking grab my ass.” Dean nearly growled out and Castiel nodded, quickly pushing his hand underneath the boxer fabric and cupping Dean’s ass with his warm hand, squeezing it firmly. Dean gasped and pushed back again, his plump arse fitting almost perfectly in Castiel’s large hand. With every touch from Cas, Dean pushed back, needing more and more.

It didn’t take long until they both had managed to squirm out of their underwear, and for modesty’s sake, Castiel had pulled a blanket up over their lower halves. Dean appreciated it right now, feeling vulnerable, but so very loved at the same time. Dean quickly pressed against Cas, licking his lips quickly.

“Cas… Grab- Grab the lube.” Dean stuttered huskily and Castiel quickly reached for the bottle. Castiel was not unfamiliar with what to do with it, but it was still a situation he hadn’t really been in himself.

“How… How much? And I… Do I just, start? Are you ready?” Castiel asked many questions all at once, feeling very nervous indeed. Hurting Dean was the last thing he wanted to do. Dean let out a strangled breath.

“Just- Just you know- God dammit Cas-” Dean breathed and Castiel frowned.

“Please don’t curse my father’s name Dean.” Castiel said quickly and Dean rolled his eyes.

“Cas, look at me.” Dean said seriously and pulled Cas close. “I won’t break. I am nervous, but I’m not so nervous that I don’t want to do this. Let’s do this. Right now Cas. I want to do this with you, now. I’ve waited far too long for this.” Dean said firmly and looked into the angel’s eyes. Castiel blushed hotly and swallowed thickly with a nod.

“Alright. Yes. I, I’ve waited a long time for this as well.” Castiel said quickly and then popped the lid of the lube bottle open. He slicked his hand up, more than he probably needed to but he was rather safe than sorry. They shifted around a bit, and eventually Castiel was able to slid his hand between Dean’s ass cheeks and blushed, rubbing his thumb gently around the tight ring of muscle.

“Nnnh- Cas-” Dean moaned, just that small touch alone felt so damn good. Castiel nodded, and gently leaned down to kiss Dean’s neck as he just gently worked the rim for a moment, before slowly starting to push in with his first finger.

Dean’s eyes widened a little, and it was kind of a strange feeling at first. He had never felt it before, too shy to explore that on his own. But when Cas’ whole thumb was seated inside of him, Dean squirmed and let out a trembling moan.

“Fuck- That feels so big-” Dean groaned and arched up from the bed a bit. Meanwhile, Castiel had to resist every urge in his body to just take Dean completely, seeing him moan and squirm like that on his finger.

“Take it.” Castiel purred with a deep voice, and slowly pulled out his thumb before pushing it back in. Dean moaned again, and let out a grunt once the finger left him and was replaced by Castiel’s index finger. He continued to work Dean before slowly starting to push in his middle finger beside the first, working to try to stretch him. 

“Ah- Cas-!” Dean winced a little, but soon his body relaxed, and Castiel tried to push reassurance through their grace bond. It seemed to be working, because Dean’s body only melted further into the bed and Castiel could work him more and more easily.

When the angel’s all three fingers were seated nicely inside of his hunter, and their lips were caught in a heated kiss, Castiel slowly pulled them out and went to the bottle of lube again, ready to prepare himself. Dean looked down a little as Castiel stroke the thick lube over his hard cock, feeling slightly intimidated, but also in awe. He was hella determined to take in Cas the best way he could. He was ready, more than ready. “Come on Cas, take me good.” Dean grinned cheekily and ran his hand over Cas’ strong shoulders. Cas grinned and chuckled a little.

“Hmm, I expected more eloquent dirty talk from you, Dean Winchester. Or perhaps I have rendered you speechless?” Castiel teased but cut himself off with a moan as he stroke his cock up and down with his warm hand. “Ready?” He asked after a moment, and Dean shifted into position and nodded.

Castiel wrapped his arm around Dean’s torso, holding him close as his hand went to play with the hairs at the back of Dean’s neck, knowing the hunter liked that very much. He guided his hard member with his other hand, pushing it and rubbing it lightly against Dean’s hole to begin with. It felt amazing, and once again Castiel found himself fighting his urges, and he bit his lip hard to try to keep himself under control.

He looked down, and noticed Dean’s eyes dark with lust, looking nothing but eager and it was then that Cas knew that he could start pushing in.

A soft whine, a deep breath, and a little shift came from Dean as Castiel pushed inside, breaching the tight hole and feeling the warmth as he was slowly engulfed by Dean’s tight hole. “Dean- Dean- Oh Dean- Dean-” Castiel began to ramble, Dean’s name the only thing on his mind. Dean smiled a little, but winced as he took Cas further.

“/Fuck, fuck Cas, just- hold on-/” Dean rambled when Cas was about halfway in. Castiel stopped instantly, but stayed inside to let Dean adjust.

“Shh… You’re doing great, Dean. You… You feel so good around me. So tight, so… Warm I can feel… I can feel all of you…” Castiel explained, in awe himself. He nipped and kissed at Dean’s bottom lip, humming softly to himself. “Dean…” Castiel hummed, his eyes lidded. Dean kissed back, blushing at the praise.

“You… You feel pretty awesome yourself just- Just need a bit of time to adjust…” Dean said, nodding a little before letting his head fall back on the pillows. It didn’t take long though until Dean told Cas to continue, and the angel gladly obliged. He pushed in slowly, further and further until he let out a groan once he was fully seated in Dean, tilting his head back and flexing his arm muscles that were keeping him above the hunter. Dean let out a similar grunt, spreading his legs just a little.

“Cas… Cas… Mmmnh…” Dean whined, rocking his lips a little as he tried to adjust to the length and the girth. “So good…” Dean murmured with a healthy blush. He could feel the grace starting to buzz inside his chest, and he wondered if Cas was feeling it to.

Castiel smiled softly. “Yes, very good.” Castiel agreed and kissed Dean’s cheek, smiling and humming softly. “Very good indeed.” Cas said and nuzzled Dean’s cheek with his nose. He stayed inside for just a moment, until he very slowly began to pull out, and then slowly push in.

Dean let out a gasping moan, his hands tightening in the sheets. Cas felt /so/ big. He felt like he was going to burst, but at the same time it felt awesome. When Cas began picking up his pace, their moaning and rocking became more rhythmic, and Dean felt the grace buzz even quicker.

“Cas- Cas I think- I think the grace-” Dean stuttered between thrusts, moaning and looked up at the angel shyly. Castiel nodded.

“I- I feel it too Dean.” Castiel said, afraid that Dean would start to worry. “It’s under control. I have it under control and so do you.” He reassured him, not wanting his worrying about the grace to ruin their intimacy right now. Dean nodded, believing, and trusting in Cas with all he got. Castiel stroke some beads of sweat from Dean’s forehead, before nodding softly. “I’ve got you.” Castiel said and then began snapping his hips just a little harder and a little faster.

Dean keened and arched up from the bed, fisting the sheets tighter and wrapping his legs around Castiel’s hips. Moan after moan and a few curse words rolled off his lips, in mixture with the angel’s name. Over and over. Cas. Cas. Cas. Dean’s mind and body was flooded with emotions and feelings, and he felt tingly, warm, loved, hot, everything all at once. He gripped Castiel’s shoulders, digging his fingernails into the strong muscles.

“Cas- Yes- Yes- God Yes- Cas- Mmmnh- Cas-” Dean breathed and Castiel couldn’t help but grin. 

“You couldn’t sound more beautiful than you do right now, Dean.” Castiel purred and Dean rolled his eyes.

Dean grumbled shyly and Castiel chuckled, stopping his movements before going hard but slow. The thrusts were almost teasing, and Dean’s moans became desperate grunts.

Castiel was feeling much the same as Dean did. The grace was going wild, everything was going wild, and the noises, the scents, the warmth, everything was a million times better than Cas could’ve ever imagined it. In fact, he hadn’t really dared to imagine anything, not sure what Dean would feel comfortable with in the end. But now, this was closeness in a way Castiel had never felt before.

Castiel began picking up his speed again when Dean practically begged for more, but then he saw Dean’s face twist into something uncomfortable. “Cas- Cas my back- It- Feels weird it-” Dean breathed and Castiel instantly knew why.

“Spread your wings Dean.” Castiel commanded and Dean blushed.

“I- Cas I don’t think-” Dean protested.

“It’ll feel better, I promise. Please Dean.” Castiel pleaded, both for Dean to feel comfortable but also to be able to see the beauty of them again. Dean nodded, and Castiel pressed a desperate palm against Dean’s chest.

Dean arched up from the bed and out came the wings, ripping through the space behind him, flapping before limply draping across the bed and floor. They seemed bigger almost. Mightier, and Castiel was in awe. In fact, so in awe, that a loud flap of wings was heard, and his own spread out just as wide before Dean.

Dean blushed, and Castiel cupped Dean’s cheek. “Feel better?” Castiel asked seriously and Dean nodded.

“Yeah- Yeah feels- feels better. Feels good.” Dean said quickly and Cas nodded. Cas stroke his fingers down Dean’s feathers, trying to get the hunter used to the wings once more. He knew the relationship between them was still strained, but Castiel wanted to help Dean, to accept, and to realise how nice they could be.

Dean closed his eyes, breathing heavily from the touches of his feathers, the wings shivering in response. God he hated to admit it, but it felt awesome. “Cas…” Dean whispered, undulating underneath the angel, starting to move and fuck himself onto Cas’ cock. Castiel couldn’t do much else than just watch, utterly and completely enthralled with what was happening before him.

His own wings gave out a few happy flaps, causing a gush of wind to throw some magazines of the nearby coffee table. Dean grinned. “You better control those babe.” Dean teased and continued to move, seeing how much Castiel liked it, and still determined to make this as good for the angel as humanly possible. Castiel moaned as Dean’s movements became bigger.

“Y-Yeah?” Castiel responded, speechless by all the pleasure he was suddenly overcome with. Dean nodded.

“I’m sure we could do with- ah- without having lift-off right now.” Dean said with a proud smirk. Castiel chuckled at that and moved down, starting to move his hips again to aid Dean’s movements.

“Oh yeah? No lift off? I’m sure making love in the air would be quite exciting, Dean.” Castiel said and smirked a little. Another moan cut them both off though in their teasing, and Castiel was getting more eager. “Turn around. All fours.” Castiel said suddenly and pulled out. Dean blushed.

“Uh… Really? You wanna do me like that?” Dean nearly slurred out, not really wanting to move around, but Castiel looked quite determined. Dean blushed and smiled. “Alright… Dirty.” Dean murmured with a smirk and got up and onto all fours. His wings laid heavy down his sides, and he looked back at Cas with a wink. “Better?” He asked and Castiel nodded, eyes wide.

“Perfect.” The angel breathed and took a hold of Dean’s hips, guiding his achingly hard cock before pushing in easily. Dean’s hole was so slick now, and stretched out, that moving was a pleasure now. Dean arched and pushed his arse back against Castiel, meeting his thrusts and starting to grunt in tune with them. Dean blushed. /Fuck/ this was hot. Dean started to push back harder, and Castiel only responded by pushing harder as well.

They had built a nice rhythm, which was why Dean was surprised and frankly quite frustrated when Castiel suddenly stopped with a gasp.

“Don’t stop now Cas.” Dean said and moaned, trying to move on the angel’s cock. He blushed though as he felt something wet on his back. Had Cas…? “Hey… It’s okay. Cas it’s okay, really.” Dean started reassuring him, thinking Castiel had already managed to come and had done so over his back. “You can finish me off with your fingers or something, I really liked that you know.” Dean said and tried to glance back at the angel, Though, he quickly saw a shocked expression, and frowned. “... Cas? Are you alright?” He asked, confused. “Is… Is something wrong? Am I… Am I bleeding or something?” Dean asked, starting to think of what else could be on his back. Castiel shook his head.

“Not… Not bleeding. Dean. I.” Castiel didn’t know what to say. He doubted Dean would like the real answer to what was dripping down his back, so he quickly tried to push back into him to continue but Dean tugged away, moving up to Cas to sit on his knees chest to chest to him.

“Cas, what is it?” Dean said and Castiel blushed.

“It’s… Oil.” Castiel murmured after a moment of hesitation. “/Wing/ oil.” Cas repeated and Dean frowned.

“/Wing oil/? What the hell is that?” Dean said and crossed his arms, trying to look behind his shoulder. Castiel blushed.

“Generally, close to the wings there is a small gland that… distributes oil. Mostly for grooming and up-keep of the feathers. But it can also release oils during… Mating. Sex.” Castiel said and Dean blinked a few times before sighing and rubbing his forehead.

“Right, and you were going to tell me this when?” Dean said, frustration in his voice. Castiel sighed.

“I… I didn’t think you had it since you’re… Not an angel in that sense, Dean.” Castiel explained and looked up into Dean’s eyes. “It’s nothing dangerous. In fact it is quite… Wonderful.” Castiel dared to say, blushing more. Dean blushed as well.

“What, uh, you like it? Like… Get off on it?” Dean asked and Castiel rolled his eyes a little.

“At the lack of a better word, yes. It is highly arousing.” Castiel said, stroking Dean’s arm gently and Dean smirked.

“Will you ever stop surprising me with stuff like this?” Dean asked teasingly and Cas smiled.

“Most likely not.” Castiel said and Dean snorted fondly.

“Alright, oil me up then, captain.” Dean smirked and got back on all fours, wiggling his ass in front of Cas eagerly.

Castiel couldn’t believe how well that had gone, and he was proud of Dean. Very proud. Which in turn made him even more eager, and soon he was behind Dean, angling his hips, and pushing in slowly. He lowered his head, scenting the beautiful oils before practically just pressing his face into it, rubbing it across Dean’s back and on himself, purring, his wings flapping even more furiously now. Dean blushed but moaned at the feeling, his gland getting teased from Castiel’s rubbing. “Fuck Cas, fuck that feels so good fuck-” Dean groaned and bit his lip harshly. Castiel nodded, pressing his lips against the oil and licking them off, groaning in pleasure and his cock twitching deep inside of Dean eagerly.

Dean moaned and his wings puffed up eagerly at the touches and kisses to his gland, and Castiel was almost in a trance, moving his hips rhythmically while taking in and rubbing the oil onto himself. Something in Dean tried to convince him that this was wrong still. He couldn’t shake the feeling completely. This was the wings they were talking about. Some weird wing oil but… It felt so good… If he could only just let himself feel good and not try to stop how he felt just because of his experiences in the past… It was difficult, and Castiel could feel Dean’s body getting tense.

But then, Dean relaxed. He took a few deep breaths, Castiel slowing down, and soon Dean was revelling in the touches and thrusts once more.

“Cas-” Dean pulled off of Castiel’s cock and moved back around to face him, pushing Cas down so he sat on the bed and then straddled his hips. “I wanna try this.” Dean said and reached behind himself, slowly guiding Castiel’s cock back inside, moaning and tilting his head back as he did so. “/Fucking hell-/” Dean groaned and bit his lip, soon sitting fully on Castiel’s lap with his cock buried deep inside of him. Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel’s neck, and the angel was panting and holding Dean’s hips tightly. “You like that?” Dean asked with a raised eyebrow, rocking his hips slightly.

Castiel let out a trembling moan and nodded his head. “Y-Yes- Yes I- I do I- Dean-” Castiel closed his eyes, holding onto Dean’s hips as the hunter began moving more and more. Dean looked into Castiel’s eyes when they opened once more, and smiled shyly.

“Do you have the oil thing too?” Dean asked and Castiel tilted his head.

“I… In theory, yes. But it has not been… Active in so long, it seems to not produce much… Yet.” Castiel said and blushed deeply. Dean quickly cupped his cheek.

“Hey… I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. I just… You reacted so much to my oil I was curious… Curious to know how it felt myself, you know?” Dean said and Castiel nodded.

“I understand.” Castiel said and stroke Dean’s cheek back. He pulled the hunter in for a deep kiss, holding him on his lap, remembering just how intimate this felt to him. Dean hummed and kissed down Castiel’s neck slowly, nipping at the skin and licking on some spots, just barely darting his tongue out. He reached out and stroked Cas’ wings, rocking his hips slowly. He wanted this to last as long as possible. He really did. “Cas…” Dean breathed and suddenly, Castiel’s wings twitched.

“Dean- Dean I think-” Castiel breathed and reached behind himself. He blushed, feeling the slow trickle of oil down his back. Dean pulled back and frowned.

“You think what?” Dean said and Castiel showed Dean his index and middle finger, drenched in oil.

“You must’ve… The touches to my wings were very intimate along with everything else and I-” Castiel could barely finish before seeing Dean’s eyes go dark with lust, practically staring at Castiel’s fingers. “Dean?” Castiel said, slightly worried. Suddenly, Dean pushed his face forwards, nuzzling Castiel’s fingers and getting his oil all over his face. He let out a trembling moan, and so did Cas. “Dean-” Cas warned, realising Dean was overcome by arousal. “Dean, I’m here,” Castiel repeated, but Dean was already licking, kissing the skin, tasting everything he could.

It was like something else had taken control over him. Something much more animalistic, something more raw and physical. Dean didn’t mind it. Not one bit. Castiel smelled amazing, the oils, everything. Dean reached around desperately to Castiel’s back, wanting more. “Dean, calm down.” Castiel said softly, reaching back and stroking his hand through the oil before presenting it to Dean. Dean instantly bowed down and rubbed his face in it, licking and kissing Castiel’s hand. The angel moaned at the sight, and started moving his hips to get some kind of friction, any kind of friction. Dean quickly obliged, but instead of doing something, he pulled away and laid down on his back again, spreading his legs and pulling Cas down by his arm.

“Take me Cas-” Dean breathed, his lips glistening with the angel’s oils and his chest heaving heavily with each breath. Castiel nodded, and instantly pushed in, lifting Dean’s hips to get a better angle. He wanted Dean to come first, desperately. He wanted to pleasure him before himself. Castiel stroke his own waist, gathering some of the slick oil that was dripping down further now and holding his fingers out for Dean. To his surprise, Dean took the fingers quickly into his mouth, starting to suckle on them harder than he had sucked anything else in his lifetime. 

“Dean- Yes- Oh Dean-” Castiel moaned, pushing his fingers into Dean’s mouth, watching them go past his plump red lips, licking his own as a response. “You look so gorgeous like this. So beautiful.” Castiel praised and Dean practically preened, his wings fluffing up and his eyes closing as he sucked in his cheeks around Cas’ fingers. “I’m- I’m getting close Dean but I need you to come first. I /want/ you to come first.” Castiel said and Dean nodded absentmindedly. He didn’t really care who came first, but if Castiel wanted it that way, he would do whatever the angel told him to do. Castiel pulled out his fingers, earning himself a whine as a response from Dean. Castiel shivered at the needy whine, tempted to push his fingers back into his mouth but now he had something else entirely on his mind.

He needed to find that spot deep inside of Dean that he knew would drive him wild, that he knew would drive him over the edge finally and reach his orgasm. Castiel gripped Dean’s hips, shifting around until he managed a well aimed thrust and Dean cried out in pleasure.

Dean’s wings spread out, and his hands tightened in the sheets. “Cas- Caaaas-” Dean dragged out the angel’s name, nodding quickly. “Again- Dammit again Cas-” Dean breathed and gritted his teeth. Castiel nodded, thrusting into the same spot again. And again. And again before also reaching down, wrapping his hand around Dean’s cock and starting to stroke him in tune with his thrusts.

Dean’s eyes closed and squeezed shut tightly, before opening and they were now bright blue, swirling with grace. “Cas I’m gonna- I’m gonna-” Dean stuttered through his haze, gasping up into the air desperately. Castiel looked down into Dean’s eyes, his own lighting up in response and the lights in the room started to flicker and spark lightly.

“Come for me Dean.” Castiel urged, continuing to stroke him and thrust into him with all that he had. Castiel didn’t remember last time he was this drenched in sweat, and now also the oils mixing in. Dean smelled amazing, and he wanted more but right now Dean was the one that needed everything he got. And soon enough, with a loud cry of Cas’ name, Dean’s hands twisting in the bedsheets, Dean came hard, making at least two of the lights in the room explode with his climax. Thick white ribbons of seed adorned Dean’s belly, chest and Cas’ hand as the angel continued to stroke him through his orgasm.

Castiel was completely taken with how gorgeous Dean looked, the power of Dean’s grace as he blew the lights out like he himself had done the very first time they had met, the way Dean’s oil made the room smell utterly amazing. Everything was so perfect.

Dean slowly began coming down from his high, another lightbulb burning out but not exploding, the grace too weak. Castiel could feel Dean’s hole clenching around his cock, and it made the sensations even better for himself. Dean smiled lazily up at Cas, snorting softly. “Your turn my angel.” Dean said without thinking, moving his hips slowly up and down to give Cas more friction. Castiel nodded, and it didn’t take many thrusts before he came with Dean’s name on his lips, more like a whisper rather than a loud moan. He had thrusted hard into Dean, his body taking the angel easily. Castiel had kept a firm grip on Dean’s hips, and now his own hips were stuttering as he filled Dean with his own cum, slowly but steadily. The last of the motel room lights had exploded with Castiel’s climax, but he couldn’t care less. He would pay for it tomorrow, and it was well worth it indeed.

Eventually Castiel nearly collapsed, but managed to hold himself up so that he didn’t crush Dean completely. He let out a breathy chuckle and cupped Dean’s cheek, kissing him slowly.

“/That was amazing, Dean./” Castiel whispered against the hunter’s lips, running his hand through his hair with a grin, making it a right mess. “Amazing…” Castiel repeated with a content sigh. Dean was having an equally lazy grin on his lips, and nodded softly, rubbing his nose against Cas’.

“Yeah, amazing.” Dean agreed and rubbed Castiel’s shoulder, slowly stroking his fingers through his wings. Castiel smiled. Dean felt more okay with the wings now, or at least, so it seemed. And Castiel felt relieved, but respectful. If Dean wished to have distance from them again after this, he would do nothing but follow Dean’s wishes to the best of his abilities. Dean smiled. “This is nice.” Dean said, referring to the cuddling they were doing right now. “Very nice. Like, the nicest after-sex-cuddles I’ve ever had.” Dean said and Castiel chuckled.

“Good, I’m happy you think so.” Castiel said proudly and fluffed up his feathers a bit. Dean grinned and ran his fingers through the new puffiness of Cas’ feathers.

“Uh, have I still got oil on my face?” Dean asked and Castiel couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Mmm, yes. You do. And other places as well. But it’s fine Dean.” Castiel nodded. “Unless you want me to go get something to clean you up with?” Castiel offered, but didn’t really want to pull out and pull away from Dean, not yet. Dean seemed to feel the same way, and quickly shook his head.

“Nah… It’s okay.” Dean said and cuddled closer. He pushed his ass down onto Castiel’s softened cock, blushing, not wanting him to slip out just yet either. Dean sighed fondly and closed his eyes a little, his wings flopped over behind his back, resting limply as well. “That was… The most special thing I’ve done with anyone I think…” Dean admitted quietly and blushed darker. Castiel blushed as well and nodded.

“I think it’s the most special thing I’ve done with someone as well, Dean.” The angel replied and stroke his hand gently through Dean’s wings. Dean smiled and opened his eyes again.

“I’m… I’m sorry too, you know? For giving you so many… Mixed signals about… About the wings and stuff…” Dean mumbled quietly. Castiel shook his head.

“Dean, I understand. It is a big thing for you, it’s something that overwhelms you easily, and that you are scared about. I don’t blame you, I don’t Dean, and you can feel however you want and you can let your feelings change however you want as well. Just know that I’ll always be there to support you, no matter if you don’t want the grace or the wings to exist at that point in time, or if you want me to cuddle and stroke them and nuzzle against your feathers and feel the grace burn between us. I’ll be there for whatever you want, and need.” Castiel said, always the kind soul, and Dean felt a bit guilty again over the things he had said about the angels and Castiel’s grace.

“Thank you, Cas…” Dean mumbled and bit his lip a little. “You’re too good to me you know?” Dean said and looked up at Cas shyly. Cas just smiled and shook his head.

“I don’t agree. Dean Winchester is a very special man, and he only deserves the very best.” Castiel said and wrapped his wings around Dean, cocooning them both in warmth and safety for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!!!  
> Thank you so so much for being patient with me!  
> I've finally gotten mostly settled in my new flat, and work has also started up again.  
> My computer completely broke down and I had to replace pretty much all the parts :(  
> BUT here's a new chapter that I've worked on little by little when I've had the time and energy to do so, and it became quite a long one! I hope you're alright with that ;)
> 
> Anyways, thank you for staying with me <3<3  
> Rock on... <3<3


	19. A hunter’s resting place

19\. A hunter’s resting place

Dean woke up lazily and quickly nuzzled against Cas’ warm skin. “Mmmmn… Mornin’.” Dean mumbled and pushed closer. Castiel smiled to himself and opened his eyes softly.

“Good morning.” He said back and stroke his hand through Dean’s hair. “How are you feeling?” Castiel asked, knowing last night had been overwhelming in many ways. Dean sighed a little.

“Well… I’m sore. Sitting down will be hell. But… The grace is uh, calmer, so that’s good.” Dean said and nodded, looking up at Cas shyly. “How are you feeling?” He asked back and Cas smiled.

“I’m very good. Not sore. But I suppose that’s not really something I should be…” Castiel hummed in thought, gently rubbing his hand on Dean’s lower back. Dean let out a grunt and a gasp.

“Careful-” He murmured and Castiel nodded.

“I’m sorry Dean.” He apologised, feeling guilty for Dean being sore. Dean shook his head and held up his hand.

“Don’t worry about it, and don’t apologise. I wanted this, we both did, this just happens afterwards. It’s all good.” Dean smiled tiredly and pushed his nose against Castiel’s chest. “/Lower./” He said with a soft purr, pushing his backside up closer towards Castiel’s hand. Cas chuckled.

“I thought you said you were sore?” Castiel asked with a raised eyebrow. Dean huffed.

“Mhm, but I haven’t learned my lesson yet, it seems.” Dean said with a cheeky smirk, his eyes closed and revelling in Cas’ touches as much as he could manage.

Though, the gentle touching was soon interrupted by Dean's phone ringing. Dean let out a deep grunt, trying to reach for his phone. He frowned and answered quickly.

“Sam? Everything okay?” Dean asked and rubbed his eyes. “Okay okay slow down. Slow down Sam- we'll be right there okay? Just calm down.” Dean said and quickly reached for his clothes. Castiel sat up.

“What's wrong? Is Sam alright?” Cas asked and began getting dressed as well. Dean shrugged quickly, pulling on his shoes.

“I don't know. He sounded like, spooked or something. Something is up. We need to get home. Quick.” Dean said and groaned as he stood up with his aching-after-hard-sex-body. He was worried though. Sam was incoherent and all over the place and he rarely heard his brother that flustered. “I’m worried Cas.” Dean said, not one to really say how he felt. Castiel nodded, pulling on his shirt.

“I know. I’m worried too. But we’ll be home soon enough. I- If you’re fine with leaving your car here I could teleport us?” Castiel suggested. Dean frowned.

“Do you have enough juice right now?” Dean asked, knowing Castiel was probably tired as well after their nightly activities. Cas nodded.

“I can handle it.” Castiel said and finished dressing. “I’ll go downstairs and ask if we can park the car here for a little while and pay him for the… Damage.” Castiel said, his eyes darting to the lamps before he rushed out the room and down the stairs.

It didn’t take long until he was back up to the room, Dean finished and heading for the door.

“Everything good?” He asked and Castiel nodded.

“Yes, he’ll look out for the car and I paid him for the damage. And he had this odd smile on his face that I couldn’t quite understand.” Castiel said and Dean rolled his eyes.

“It’s fine. Good. Alright let’s go.” Dean said and Castiel nodded, placing his hand firmly on Dean’s shoulder.

***

In the blink of an eye, they landed in the bunker, Dean gasping softly for air.

“Are you alright?” Castiel asked quickly and Dean nodded.

“Sam? Sammy?” Dean began calling out, his voice raspy but he didn’t care. “Sam?” He called again, heading for the library.

Suddenly Sam emerged, frowning, rushing up to Dean when he saw his hunched over position.

“Dean? Why are you home already? Is everything alright?” Sam asked, concerned, but… Something wasn’t right. Dean frowned.

“What do you mean ‘is everything alright’? You called me only minutes ago telling me that something was up here at the bunker?” Dean said and straightened up a little, Cas joining him by his side. Jack came rushing towards them, frowning as well.

“What’s going on?” Jack asked and Dean looked between the two of them.

“What the hell-” Dean muttered and looked over at Cas.

“Ah. I’m afraid not. Heaven is really the matter.” A voice was heard and they all spun around to see - Balthazar. Castiel saw red, and Dean looked frightened.

“What are you doing here Balthazar? How /dare/ you come back here after what you did to Dean?” Castiel growled as he rushed up to the angel. Balthazar took a step back, sighing.

“Look, I know you won’t trust me on this but I sincerely had no idea that that would happen to Dean. Newbie archangel here? I made a boo-boo, so sue me.” Balthazar said and shrugged. Castiel gripped him by his shoulders suddenly and shook him harshly.

“I’ve killed you before I’ll kill you again-” Castiel snapped and Sam rushed up to them.

“Cas.” Sam said softly and placed a hand on his shoulder. Balthazar swallowed thickly and cleared his throat as Cas slowly let go of him. He brushed off his suit jacket and sighed.

“I’m afraid I’ve run into some trouble upstairs.” Balthazar said and put his hands on his hips. “I came down here to request yours and Dean’s help, Castiel.” Balthazar said and Dean who had been mostly hiding, walked up behind Cas.

“What makes you think we would /ever/ help you after what you did?” Dean murmured and Balthazar rolled his eyes.

“God you really don’t listen do you? It was a mistake, Dean, you getting ill. I didn’t mean for it to happen. I didn’t-”

“Doesn’t matter. You still took /my/ Dean up to heaven /without me/ and /without my consent/.” Castiel interrupted the angel. “I don’t care if you’ve been newly promoted by our absent father, if you try something like that again, I wouldn’t even care if you were God himself.” Castiel hissed and glared into Balthazar’s eyes.

Balthazar did look a bit frightened at that, knowing very well that Castiel was indeed capable of killing him if he really wanted to.

“I’m sorry, Castiel.” He apologised once again, his eyes pleading. Sam huffed.

“Give me a break. You’re not sorry. To any of us. Nice job there, faking my voice, making Dean worried and scared yet again. I think you should leave. Now.” Sam said firmly and Balthazar looked up at Cas.

“Castiel, please, I really need your help please just hear me out.” Balthazar pleaded. Jack glared at him as well, and Balthazar caught his eyes. “Oh, you must be Lucifer’s son.” Balthazar said and Jack took a step forward.

“No. I am not his son. My father is Castiel.” Jack said firmly and Balthazar frowned before nodding.

“Oh. Right, right. Sensitive adopting matters, I understand.” Balthazar said and Castiel tilted his head and squinted with his eyes.

“What’s wrong up in heaven, Balthazar?” Dean said suddenly and both Cas and Sam looked back at him with shocked expressions. Balthazar sighed.

“Finally someone with common sense.” The angel said and crossed his arms. “Something, or someone is disturbing the peace. Different parts of heaven are being made… Less heaven-like.” Balthazar said and Dean frowned.

“Meaning?” Dean said and crossed his own arms over his chest.

“Meaning, someone is terrorizing peoples’ heavens. Making them not as wonderful as they are supposed to be. And I need help finding out what is causing this.” Balthazar said and Dean sighed, shifting a bit on the spot.

“Figure it out yourself.” Jack huffed and Sam nodded.

“I agree.” Sam added and Balthazar looked from them back to Castiel and Dean.

“Castiel, I know you still care about heaven, and I know you care if it is somehow getting harassed or even ruined. I need your help.” Balthazar pressed and looked at Cas softly. Castiel sighed, lowering his eyes to the floor. He knew it was a bad idea, nothing good could come from it and Dean- He couldn’t leave Dean here alone. But Balthazar had asked for the two of them and-

“Alright, we’ll do it.” Dean said and nodded. Cas’ eyes widened and he spun around to look at Dean.

“Dean- You don’t-” Castiel stuttered and Dean shrugged.

“I told you I would help you help heaven and that I trust you so, let’s go then.” Dean said to Cas and Balthazar began smiling.

“Ah! You have no idea how relieved that makes me feel!” Balthazar grinned and clapped his hands together. But Sam quickly grabbed Dean’s shoulder and held onto it tightly.

“Dean. Are you sure about this? This is a bad idea. Why would you go back to heaven after everything-” Sam clenched his lips shut tightly. Dean swallowed.

“Well I… I’m a protector now, I guess. I have the badge and all… I need to help Sam.” Dean said and even though Castiel was bursting with worry, he felt very proud and warm from everything Dean was saying right now.

“I’ll keep him safe, Sam.” Castiel said and Sam looked at him sceptically.

“Yeah? I’ll believe that when I see it.” Sam said with upset in his voice before turning to his heel and leaving them alone in the library. Jack looked at Castiel with an equally disappointed look, before following Sam out of the library as well.

Castiel sighed and lowered his head. Wonderful. Now Sam and Jack would resent him for making this choice, which was even Dean’s to begin with.

“Alright let’s quit stalling and let’s go.” Dean said and Balthazar nodded.

“Thank you. Really. Both of you. This means very much to me and… And I promise I’ll repay you somehow. Whenever you need me or my assistance.” Balthazar said and with a louder noise of flapping wings, the three of them were gone from the bunker.

***  
Dean wobbled on his feet and felt a bit sick from being teleported two times so close to each other.

“Give me a minute-” Dean said, holding up his hand. Castiel placed a hand on his back, looking up at Balthazar who nodded softly.

“Where has the disturbance been the worst?” Castiel asked and Balthazar sighed.

“Well, it appears to be a quite random pattern, at least to me. I was thinking perhaps you and Dean would have some thoughts on why only certain areas of heaven are being targeted.” Balthazar said and brought out what looked like a map, and Dean could barely believe his eyes.

“A /map/ of heaven? Now I’ve seen it all…” Dean muttered and hunched over the table to have a look.

Castiel’s eyes travelled from the map to Dean. He was concerned. He could feel Dean’s fear through their grace bond, and he knew Dean was anything but alright being here. But at least Castiel was with him. At least now they knew what was happening. Dean had been so brave, coming here… Castiel was impressed, and proud, and grateful. Castiel stroke his hand gently up and down Dean’s back, trying to reassure him.

Dean blushed. He felt like crap being up here again. He didn’t trust Balthazar, he didn’t want to be up in heaven, he didn’t even want to be looking a this stupid map. What if it made ‘none-angels’ sick just by looking at it? Dean wasn’t sure he could go through that again. But, he had agreed to help. He had agreed to help not only because he knew this was important to Castiel but-... Okay, he had agreed to help /only/ because it was important to Cas. Sure he cared about heaven, but he had a hard time viewing it as his own responsibility. But Castiel needed help. His… /Brother/ Balthazar needed their help.

“Alright so, what we’re looking at here is a pattern quite obvious to me but not so much angels. They were hunters. All of them. Or close family to hunters.” Dean said, pointing out the different spots on the map. “Mostly I recognize the names because… Bobby has spoken about them before. I don’t know why these particular hunters are targets though, I don’t know enough of their history to know that.” Dean said and shrugged, standing up a bit more. Castiel nodded and looked at Balthazar.

“Does that sound plausible?” Castiel asked Balthazar and the archangel nodded.

“I suppose so. But we still need to figure out who or what is doing this.” Balthazar said and rubbed his forehead a little. Dean sighed, hunching over the map again.

“Is this… Thing leaving any sort of clues after messing up their heavens?” Dean asked and Balthazar furrowed his brows in thought.

“Well I… Not anything specific… It’s quite a mess.... But… I suppose there are quite a lot of imagery that wasn’t there before that you could have a look at. I can open up one of the heavens for you. And you can do your little investigation bit.” Balthazar said and nodded with a smile. Dean frowned.

“Uh, /open it up/? Just… Entering another dude’s heaven like that that we don’t even know?” Dean said and Balthazar shrugged.

“Why not? It’s not like they own the place. We do. They’re just… Lending it. Like renting, but without having to pay. Aren’t we kind?” Balthazar said and began walking them over to one of the doors. Dean rolled his eyes, following him slowly.

“Dean, are you alright?” Castiel asked and Dean looked at him. Dean nodded quickly. What else could he say? Not the truth, yikes.

“Yeah yeah, I’m fine. Just… Want to get this solved so we can go home that’s all.” Dean said and shrugged. Castiel nodded.

“Well, you’re doing great, and I’m very proud of you.” Castiel smiled and Dean smiled back.

“Ah here we are.” Balthazar said and reached for the keys. “It should be pretty calm inside now. The storm has left, so to speak.” The archangel said and slowly unlocked the door.

Dean waited for Castiel to walk in first, before hesitantly poking his head inside, his eyes widening at the mess. He stayed close to Cas, walking up behind him. Castiel looked around with saddened eyes. It really was a mess. Paintings of families ruined, black fire blazing from the fireplace. Noises of anguish and tortured souls. The floors sizzled as they walked on them, and Dean swallowed thickly, closing his eyes. This reminded him too much of /hell/. Castiel turned around and looked at Dean.

“Dean, why don’t you wait outside? I can handle it.” Castiel said but Dean shook his head and opened his eyes.

“I’m fine.” Dean said and swallowed. “I’m… Fine.” Dean said, flinching as a roll of thunder went through the air. Balthazar sighed as he waltzed inside.

“As you can see, not a pretty sight.” Balthazar said and put his hands in his pockets. Dean nodded.

“Where’s the hunter?” Dean asked and Balthazar lowered his head.

“Well… As you can imagine, getting your resting place torn apart is quite… A fragile and horrific matter… We have the affected hunters in a separate part of heaven for protection at the moment. And rehabilitation.” Balthazar said and Dean nodded, looking around the room.

“This… This looks like hell in heaven, Balthazar.” Castiel said and Balthazar nodded.

“Yes. I’m aware. But what does it mean?” Balthazar said, watching as Dean began exploring what looked like the living room of a fairly rich household. Dean looked at the pictures, listened to the noises, closing his eyes. Castiel watched him with worry in his eyes, but stayed away to let Dean investigate undisturbed. Dean opened his eyes again and reached down for something that laid on the table. He frowned.

“A slingshot…” Dean murmured, looking at the peculiar object. It wasn’t like any other slingshot made of wood and a piece of rubber band. No, this one was heavy duty and- “Lyle…” Dean said and looked up at Cas and Balthazar. “His name was Lyle Richards, correct?” Dean said and Balthazar nodded. Dean let out a soft huff. “Yeah, I think I know why his place looks like this. Because he shouldn’t freaking be here.” Dean said and Castiel frowned.

“Be here? In heaven you mean?” Castiel said and Dean huffed.

“Yeah. How did he end up here?” Dean asked Balthazar who frowned.

“I’m not quite sure I follow…” Balthazar said, puzzled and Dean sighed.

“Lyle he… He was a well known hunter, but for all the wrong reasons.” Dean said and put down the slingshot. “He believed that… For example if in a family or a group of friends, one of them were a supernatural being - say a werewolf - he believed that the whole /group/ should be killed off. Ya know. Just in case.” Dean said with a disgusted expression. Castiel frowned.

“Even if the rest of them were… Humans?” Castiel asked and Dean nodded.

“Yep. Even if they were humans, even if they were the kindest souls you had ever met. They were on his list.” Dean shook his head with a sarcastic laugh. “Sometimes I think he just got the kicks out of killing people and he didn’t care what they were…” Dean murmured and walked back up to Cas and Balthazar. “So uh, guess we don’t have to worry about this one then. What else you’ve got?” Dean said and glanced up at Balthazar who looked quite appalled at how someone like that could’ve gotten into heaven. Castiel looked just as shocked and saddened by that fact. Balthazar cleared his throat.

“I… I need to find out how this happened. Why don’t you- Why don’t you take a seat in the big hall while I… I go and…” Balthazar hurried out of the room and down the hallway. Dean sighed and rubbed his hand over his face.

“Great. Now we’ve lost him.” He said and walked out of the small heaven room with Cas and closed the door behind himself. Castiel sighed softly. “You okay?” Dean asked and Castiel shook his head.

“I… I’m not sure. I don’t understand how this could’ve happened. It seems Lyle here did get what he deserved in the end, but what about everyone else? What if their heavens are ruined just as horribly but they didn’t deserve it?” Castiel asked but froze and spun around when he heard a female voice he sadly remembered all to well.

“Don’t worry, Castiel, they all deserved it. Hello Dean, long time no see.” Naomi said calmly. Dean’s expression changed from shocked, to afraid, to worried, to angry in a matter of seconds, and Castiel looked just as confused as well.

“Naomi. What are you doing here?” Castiel asked and took a step forwards. Dean quickly followed, reaching out for Cas but stopping midway. Naomi smiled.

“You know why I’m here Castiel. Do you think I would leave heaven in the hands of Balthazar? It doesn’t matter if God deemed him worthy, Balthazar is unreliable, a joke, not someone that can be trusted. And it shows, by him letting all these hunters up in heaven that shouldn’t be here. Seems he has a soft spot for hunters. I wonder where he’s gotten that from.” Naomi said and looked at Dean who stared back at her.

“So what? Now you’re correcting his faults behind the scenes, spooking the guy? Why can’t you just talk to him you know, like normal people?” Dean growled and Naomi smiled once again.

“Dean, we’re not /normal people/. And do you think Balthazar would really allow me to do what needed to be done? These hunters, they belong in hell. Not in heaven. They lived their life in a horrible way and made many poor decisions. They have to pay. Hunter or not.” Naomi said and clutched her hands together. She then tilted her head. “Dean. I’m surprised.” She said and Dean shrugged back a little.

“About what?” Dean asked and Naomi looked at Cas and then back at Dean.

“That you have allowed enough grace into yourself to be counted as one of us.” Naomi said and laughed a little. “You were the last person on earth, especially after Michael, that I would think would allow themselves to become this way.” She said and Dean couldn’t help but blush.

“Yeah what’s it to you then?” Dean snarled back but his voice was more uncertain now. Naomi continued smiling.

“Oh, nothing special, I was just… Curious. Castiel. Your grace, it’s very strong inside of him. You must be proud.” Naomi said and Castiel clenched his jaws, standing up straight.

“I am, unbelievably proud of Dean. I never thought that my grace would ever be shared with someone as strong, as courageous and as loving as Dean Winchester himself. I am honored, in fact, that I was chosen, that he chose /me/ to share this together with him. No matter the hardships we’ve faced, I will always be grateful.” Castiel finished and looked at Naomi firmly.

Dean was blushing even more now. When Castiel showed just how much this meant to him, he felt more guilty about the things he had said, and he got more of an understanding just how important this was to Cas. He knew Castiel would never say it to him personally, because the angel would be afraid of how he would react. But at times like these, it seems Castiel’s pride and gratitude had no end. Naomi lowered her head respectfully.

“I see. Well then, welcome to the family, Dean.” Naomi said and nodded at him. Dean frowned. Really? Dean cleared his throat and nodded.

“Uh… Thanks.” Dean said and smiled apprehensively. He looked at Cas, not sure what to make of this, but he calmed down slightly once he saw Cas was smiling just a little as well.

Suddenly, Balthazar came rushing down the hallway back to them.

“I- I have no idea how this happened- I mean they were hunters they were supposed to be- Oh. Naomi.” Balthazar stopped in his steps once he saw the angel standing there right in front of them. Surprisingly enough, Balthazar swooped in front of Dean and Castiel, almost in a protective stance. Dean frowned. Balthazar wanted to protect them? Naomi nodded.

“Hello Balthazar.” Naomi said and smiled at him. “It’s… Unfortunate that we had to meet this way. But I realise that perhaps I should explain myself to you before you tear down heaven yourself.” She said and Balthazar frowned.

“What on earth are you doing here Naomi?” Balthazar nearly hissed, and he wasn’t one for sounding threatening, but right now, he did. Naomi sighed.

“I am correcting your faults, Balthazar. Obviously, you are struggling with the souls here in heaven, and I came to help. Behind the curtains, of course. Because I knew that if you were aware, you would’ve shut me down before I would even get a chance to explain.” Naomi said and the archangel reached for his blade. Castiel quickly put a hand on Balthazar’s shoulder.

“Trust me, Balthazar, I don’t like her any more than you do, but, I think she might be helping here.” Castiel said, to Dean’s surprise as well.

“Cas, this isn’t helping. Hurting these people like this isn’t helping them.” Dean said quickly. Naomi frowned.

“They’re going to hell anyway, it’s better to prepare them, don’t you think?” Naomi said and Castiel looked back at Dean.

“I agree that the methods used here are not alright, Dean, but if these people have no right to be in heaven, they shouldn’t occupy the spot for someone righteous and kind that deserves to be here.” Castiel said and Dean bit his lip. Cas was right, but it was still a horrible way to do things.

“Fine. But, if you have to… Rearrange people, then can you at least do it without hurting their cherished memories of the good parts of their life?” Dean said and everyone tilted their heads in question. Must be an angel thing then. Dean sighed. “Look I realise they have been bad, and that they don’t deserve to be up here but… They have done some good too. They deserve their memories to be… Unsoiled by hell fire and sizzling floors. They deserve to keep those memories clean, even if they’re going to hell.” Dean said and slowly, Castiel nodded and placed a hand on Dean’s back.

“You are right, Dean.” Castiel said and smiled proudly. “You are right.” Castiel said and gripped Dean’s shoulder tightly. Dean smiled a little over at Cas, shuffling a bit closer. Naomi looked confused.

“I… I’m not sure I understand…” She said and Balthazar rolled his eyes with a sigh.

“Of course not. You’re still ‘daddy’s little soldier’. That’s why I’m… Willing to work together. If you keep your methods in check.” Balthazar said and put back his angel blade. “Deal?” Balthazar said and held out his hand to Naomi. Naomi furrowed her brows, but slowly extended her hand.

“Deal.” She agreed with a nod. “Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have work to do.” Naomi said with a look over at Castiel and Dean. Dean nodded.

“Great, can’t wait to get out of here…” Dean muttered and Naomi smiled.

“Charming as usual.” She said and clutched her hands together once again. “Good bye for now.” She said and Balthazar walked up to them both.

“Thank you for your help. Remember what I said. Call if you need me.” Balthazar said before touching both of their shoulders with a soft smile.

***

Dean nearly fell over when they landed in the bunker, and Castiel quickly swept him up into his arms, holding him up in a bridal carry.

“You did so well Dean, I’m so proud of you.” Castiel whispered, kissing Dean’s forehead softly. Dean blushed, but wrapped his arms around Castiel’s neck quickly.

“Thank you… My legs are jello…” Dean murmured and Castiel nodded, starting to carry him to the TV room, knowing there was a couch there and that Sam and Jack would most likely want to hear what happened.

Castiel gently sat down on the couch with Dean in his arms, just looking down at him with a soft smile, stroking his cheek lovingly with his thumb.

“My Dean.” Castiel breathed, the grace buzzing warm in his chest, knowing Dean could feel it too. Dean blushed and smiled a little.

“My Cas.” Dean replied but quickly looked up as he heard Sam and Jack storming into the room.

“Hey- Hey is everything alright?” Sam asked and rushed to the couch, sitting down on the coffee table in front of them. Dean blushed. Not really how he wanted his brother to find him, in the arms of his angel, but this would have to do.

“Yeah- Yeah everything’s fine Sammy.” Dean murmured and cleared his throat a little. “Just, all this angel teleportation made my legs feel like jelly that’s all.” Dean said and smiled crookedly at him. Sam nodded, smiling a little back.

“So… Everything is solved? Up in heaven?” Sam asked and Jack looked at the two intensely. Castiel nodded and smiled up at Sam.

“Everything is solved. Dean solved it all by himself.” Castiel said, the tone in his voice so filled with pride. Sam smiled, but frowned.

“Really? All by himself?” Sam said with a teasing wrinkle of his nose and Dean rolled his eyes.

“Shut up Sammy.” Dean muttered and Jack began smiling as well, sitting down on the coffee table as well beside Sam.

“So, what happened?” Jack asked curiously and Dean looked up at Cas before nodding, and they both began telling them what had went down in heaven, how they had solved it, and how Balthazar seemed true to his words about protecting them, judging by his reaction towards Naomi at first.

Castiel told Sam and Jack proudly about how Naomi had welcomed Dean to their family, and even though she had hurt them all in many ways, the words she had spoken had resonated with Cas either way. And he was proud. Dean really was a part of his family, just as much as Cas was a part of theirs. Dean was blushing, and Sam looked at him worried that Dean didn’t like the fact that he had been welcomed by the angels to their family specifically. But Dean didn’t look upset, or angry, he looked… Shy, but content. Sam felt relieved, and smiled at Dean before patting his shoulder.

“Family dinners will have a new meaning after this huh?” Sam asked with a cheeky smile and a teasing chuckle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wohoo! New chapter up already!  
> I really loved writing this one, can you tell?  
> That's why I finished it so quickly haha!  
> Hope you like it as much as I did!
> 
> Rock on!


	20. Recovery

20\. Recovery

Sam and Jack both went to the kitchen after making sure Dean and Cas were alright, and they set out to prepare some dinner for all of them. Dean had barely eaten all day and Sam knew he would feel better if he got some food in his belly.

Dean squirmed around a bit on Cas’ lap, but soon settled back against his chest. He sighed fondly and reached up to play with the buttons of Castiel’s shirt.

“M’ tired.” Dean complained, looking drowsy. He looked up at Cas with tired, lidded puppy eyes, meeting Castiel’s own worn expression. But the angel was smiling, and very big as well.

“I know. You’ll get to rest soon. You need to get something to eat first, Sam is right about that. And then I’ll tuck you in and you’ll rest.” Castiel said and moved his hand back up to stroke Dean’s forehead, down to his cheek, to his jaw… His chin… His lips… Dean’s cheeks flushed again at the soft touches, and Cas smiled. “My beautiful hunter. Clever as well. You solved it all by yourself, and the fact that you even considered and eventually went with me back to heaven it’s… It’s incredible, Dean. I’m so very proud of you. I really am.” Castiel murmured and Dean smiled crookedly.

“It’s… It’s nothing I… I promised you that I would help didn’t I? I at least try to stick to my words, always.” Dean said and shrugged a little but groaned as his muscles ached. Castiel quickly wrapped an arm around Dean’s shoulders, helping him support himself. Castiel shook his head.

“It is the bravest most considerate thing someone has ever done for me, Dean. You faced your fears to help me, and you did so brilliantly. It is much more than ‘nothing’, I promise you that.” Castiel whispered and pressed a soft kiss to Dean’s forehead. “My Dean…” Castiel whispered once again, leaning down and keeping his lips pressed against Dean’s forehead.

Dean’s eyes fell shut, and he relaxed against Castiel’s touches and soft whispers. He could stay like this all evening. It was wonderful, and right now, he didn’t even care that Sam had seen him like this, and he didn’t feel like moving so Sam would probably find him in the very same position when they came back with his food. God, he really was hungry. Dean’s stomach rumbled and Castiel snorted out a soft laugh. “Hmm… Someone needs a good meal…” Cas purred and ran his fingertips along Dean’s chest down to his stomach, gently placing his hand over it. “Sometimes I wish I could feel hunger again, only to be able to feel how satisfying food was and how it felt to be full again.” Castiel hummed and Dean smiled.

“Well, I don’t know, that’s a big price to pay only for feeling full. I kinda like you just like this Cas.” Dean hummed and Castiel suddenly began blushing. Dean… Preferred him as an angel to a human? Dean frowned a little at Cas’ shocked expression. “What? What did I do now?” Dean asked and Castiel quickly shook his head.

“No, nothing, you did nothing I’m just… Surprised. That you’d rather want me as an angel than… Human.” Cas said and Dean smiled a little.

“Guess I’m just a sucker for a strong man huh?” Dean said but then looked into Castiel’s eyes sincerely with a soft sigh. “I wouldn’t want to change you for the world Cas.” He said and reached up to cup Cas’ cheek. “What’s the point in that? You’re perfect just as you are.” Dean smiled and Castiel felt himself tear up. He didn’t know why it was so monumental for him to hear Dean say that, but it was, and it made his heart infinitely warm.

“Dean I- Thank you. Thank you so so much-” Castiel breathed and quickly wrapped Dean in a big hug. Dean smiled and hugged Castiel back.

“Hey there… Easy now with the bear hugs…“ Dean murmured, amazed at how this had affected Cas. The angel never stopped surprising him. Castiel just smiled widely and gave Dean another big squeeze before letting go slightly to just hold him him like before.

“I will never go easy on the bear hugs, Dean.” Castiel grinned with a cheeky chuckle. “What’s the point in that? I wouldn’t change them for the world.” He teased back and Dean rolled his eyes and chuckled softly before nuzzling against Castiel’s chest to rest a bit before the dinner would be ready.

“Just five minutes…” Dean murmured and was soon fast asleep in Cas’ arms, and Castiel sighed fondly.

***

It didn’t take long until Sam came back with a several bowls of pasta salad with some bacon crumbled on top in the hopes that Dean would actually eat it. It was the quickest meal he could make that was also nutritional enough for Dean to recover better. Castiel smiled and gently stroke Dean’s forehead with his fingertips.

“Dean… Dean it’s time to wake up, and have some dinner.” Cas said and smiled softly at Dean pressed against his chest, not minding that he had drooled just a little on him. Sam smiled at the two, and Jack did as well with his mouth full of the salad, always having a really good appetite. Dean stirred and grumbled softly.

“Five more minutes…” Dean muttered and Castiel chuckled.

“It’s been closer to half an hour Dean. Come on now…” Cas hummed and managed to maneuver Dean so that he sat up in his arms better. Dean rubbed his eyes and blinked, blushing a bit as he saw Sam and Jack looking over at him and he scooted back a bit so that he sat down on the sofa instead of Castiel’s lap but his legs still remained draped over him. He took the bowl but frowned when he looked into it.

“What the hell is this?” Dean huffed and Sam sighed.

“It’s pasta salad. Don’t worry, there’s mayonnaise and bacon in it, I think you’ll do just fine.” Sam said and Dean pushed the bowl away that Cas was still holding in his hands.

“I don’t want it.” Dean said almost like a stubborn child. Castiel frowned.

“You need to eat, Dean. And this is a perfectly put together meal that Sam has made. Eat.” Castiel said and pushed the bowl back against him. Dean huffed and pushed back. Castiel gave him a firm look and a raised eyebrow. “Dean.” Castiel said firmly, his voice sounding like he wasn’t having this at all. Dean squirmed a little and rolled his eyes silently, taking the bowl.

“Fine… But if it’s gross I won’t eat much of it.” Dean complained and dug in angrily. Castiel smiled and reached for his own bowl, taking a couple of bites. Flavours didn’t work the same way for him, of course, but he did know that this was tasty to him.

“It’s very good Sam. Thank you.” Cas said and Sam smiled. Dean chewed reluctantly, his face wrinkled together but at least he was still eating it.

“Don’t be such a child Dean.” Sam said and Dean muttered something beneath his breath and leaned against the sofa as he tried to finish as much from the bowl as he could manage.

***

When Dean had finished almost his whole bowl, he looked at Cas with tired eyes. He wanted him to take him to his bedroom, feeling like he wouldn’t be able to stand on his own two legs even if he tried. Castiel smiled and nodded, putting down his own bowl before standing up and bowing down, taking Dean into his arms and lifting him up.

“I think we’ll turn in for the night. Good night Sam, Jack.” Cas smiled and carried Dean off to his bedroom. Sam smiled to himself and continued eating, and Jack put his finished bowl down.

“I’m going to bed too, night Sam.” Jack smiled and hurried off to his bedroom.

Castiel gently laid Dean down on the bed, stroking his hair before going to his dresser to find some new clothes. He doubted Dean wanted to wear the sweaty ones to bed, and he rummaged through the drawers silently. Dean looked over at him with tired eyes and a soft smile.

“Hey, going through my stuff huh?” Dean murmured and Castiel smiled.

“Just finding something nice you can sleep in.” Castiel said and nodded, picking out an oversized t-shirt and some sweatpants. “Will these do?” He asked and Dean nodded.

“Looks good to me.” Dean said and exhaled slowly. “Hey… Do you think Naomi and Balthazar will be okay up there?” Dean asked worriedly. Castiel frowned.

“I… Believe so, yes, why do you ask?” Cas asked curiously and headed over to the bed with Dean’s pyjama wear. Dean shrugged.

“I don’t know… I just don’t want any hunters to be treated wrong, or for any other catastrophe to happen that we have to solve.” Dean murmured and Castiel nodded.

“I understand. I think Balthazar and Naomi will do just fine Dean, if not, I’m sure they’ll reach out to us for help.” Cas said and helped Dean pull off his shirt, handing him the new one. Dean pulled the shirt on and nodded a little.

“Yeah… Yeah I guess you’re right.” Dean sighed and began tugging off his trousers. Castiel smirked.

“I can do that.” Castiel said and gently reached forwards, unhooking Dean’s belt slowly and then working on his buttons while lazily kissing Dean’s lips. He knew Dean was too tired for anything this evening, and it was all fine of course. But there was nothing wrong with teasing just a little. Dean moaned lazily into the kiss and pushed his hips up as Castiel dragged the zipper slowly down to open his trousers fully.

Castiel moaned softly and pulled back from the kiss so he could remove Dean’s trousers before helping him on with the new ones. He smirked a little at the soft bulge that had already begun to form in Dean’s boxers, stroking his fingers over it just lightly when the trousers were up in place. “There. All done.” Castiel purred and Dean rolled his eyes.

“Thanks for that.” He muttered but Castiel only chuckled.

“Hmm? What was that?” He said teasingly and laid down beside Dean after stripping out of his own clothes swiftly and pulling one of Dean’s old t-shirts over his head.

“Yeah, teasing me like this when you know I can’t perform is just mean…” Dean murmured, but quickly cuddled up against Cas and pressed his semi-hard on onto Cas’ hip. Castiel hummed likingly and wrapped his hand around to cup Dean’s ass, holding it tightly in his hand.

“Mmm… I apologise… I just couldn’t resist.” Castiel said and looked at Dean with lidded eyes. Dean nodded and pressed his nose against Cas’ chest.

“It’s fine. Idiot.” Dean muttered quietly and settled down to sleep once again. “Tomorrow morning you owe me one.” Dean said and Castiel smirked.

“Deal.” The angel said and held Dean tight.

***

Dean woke up with a soft murmur, wrapping his arms around Castiel. Cas smiled, looking down at him. “Good morning, Dean. Did you sleep well?” Castiel asked and kissed his temple. Dean nodded.

“Mhm. Very good. Body feels less like jelly.” He said and smiled lazily up at Cas. “How are you feeling?” Dean asked and Castiel smiled.

“Perfect.” The angel grinned and chuckled softly. Dean smiled. He was happy that Cas looked so happy. It was a rare sight, really, but he liked it more than anything. Dean shifted closer, wrapping his leg around the angel. He gently moved his hand, pushing it up under Castiel’s t-shirt, stroking his belly and up to his chest. Castiel blushed a little, and his hand went up to stroke at the nape of Dean’s neck, playing with the hair there. “I seem to recall you said last night that I ‘owe you one’. Castiel hummed. “I haven’t forgotten about that, just so you know…” Castiel hummed softly. Dean chuckled softly.

“Mmm… Well, I mean, you still do but… I don’t know, feel like trying something else this morning…” Dean purred and pulled Castiel’s shirt up a bit more, lowering himself so he could kiss over Cas’ beautiful ribs. Castiel moaned softly and bit his lip.

“Something… Else?” Castiel questioned, unsure where Dean was going, but so far he liked the soft kisses to his torso very much. “As long as you don’t strain yourself, you know I worry-”

“Yeah yeah what else is new? You always worry about me Cas, just let me do this alright?” Dean muttered and Castiel smiled and nodded.

“Alright, I apologise, continue.” Castiel hummed and Dean nodded, continuing to kiss just where he was. Dean moved his tongue out, tracing it down towards Castiel’s belly button, moving lower and lower in bed. Castiel watched curiously, his brow raised, his hand gently resting on top of Dean’s hand, stroking it slowly. “Dean…” Cas moaned, his eyes going lidded just a little.

Dean smirked to himself, crawling so that his body was between Castiel’s legs, and his kisses moving around the belly button down to the beginning of Castiel’s hip bone. He pulled down Cas’ underwear and pants just a little so he could reach better, moving his tongue slowly over the sharp bone and moaning as he did so.

Castiel moaned deeper and bit his lip, not sure exactly what Dean was on his way to do but it didn’t matter, this was wonderfully pleasant either way. Castiel shivered as Dean’s stubble grazed his sensitive skin, and Dean moaned back softly. 

The hunter had no clue what he was doing, he had a goal in mind, of course, but he had never… Done it before. Given someone a blow job, more precisely. He had seen it in porn, obviously, and he’d received some, although very few, but he had never given one… Obviously. But apparently now was the time and he felt more than ready. He peeked up at Cas and hooked his finger in his boxers.

“Can I pull these down now?” Dean asked and Castiel looked down at him, nodding softly.

“Yes, please, it’s getting very uncomfortably tight.” Castiel said and licked his bottom lip slowly. Dean nodded and slowly pulled down the trousers first, smirking a little at the bulge in Castiel’s boxers. He blushed a little, realising what a compromising state he was in, so low down like that. But it soon felt a lot better when he felt Cas’ hand gently cup his cheek and stroke it softly. “I… Might be oblivious to some things, but I think I have a fairly good idea of what is going to happen. I just want to say that you should take your time, and I won’t be upset if you want to stop.” Castiel spoke slowly and carefully, not wanting to put any shame on Dean, only comfort and support. Dean blushed darker at that and nodded his head.

“Yeah- Yeah I know… I know you understand… And… Thanks… I just… Want to try you know? Can I?” Dean asked, realising he hadn’t asked Cas for permission even. Castiel nodded, his thumb gently rubbing over his cheekbone.

“Of course you can.” Castiel said and propped himself up a bit against a pillow. Honestly, he didn’t want to miss it for the world…

Dean nodded and gently moved down with his head, pressing his nose against the soft boxer fabric before running it over Castiel’s length, just rubbing against it with his nose before placing a very soft kiss on top of it. Castiel’s cock twitched eagerly, and it made Dean blush harder as it practically pushed itself back up to his lips. Dean bit his lip and moved down again, pressing another kiss before placing his tongue out onto the shaft, making a nice wet patch on the fabric.

Castiel tilted his head back, his hand moving up to the back of Dean’s head, holding it softly and stroking the soft hair. “Dean-....” Castiel moaned, looking back down as he felt the hunter start to tug at his boxers.

Dean licked his lips and couldn’t help the gasp that escaped his lips once Castiel’s cock sprung up from the tight boxer fabric.

“Fuck Cas-” Dean breathed lowly, stalling for a moment, just watching. Watching the gorgeous length lay straight up against the angel’s belly, and he had barely done anything to it yet. But whatever he had done, was enough to make Cas achingly hard. And it was so incredibly hot to watch.

Dean lowered his head again, and pressed a lingering kiss to the base of Castiel’s cock. The angel’s eyes widened slightly, and his hand stroke through Dean’s hair a bit harder.

“Dean- Dean Oh-” Cas groaned, his head tilting back again. The sounds. The sounds were beautiful to Dean and it only spurred him on further and he began kissing up the length until he placed the prettiest little kiss to the tip of Cas’ cock, licking the bead of pre-cum off his lips. Castiel was almost in a trance as he watched Dean do that, and he could feel his grace flare up inside of him, his eyes flickering for a moment with light. “Do that again.” Castiel nearly commanded and Dean felt shivers go up his spine.

He quickly moved back down, kissing all the way up before licking the length, from bottom to the top and then placed a pretty little kiss on the pink plump head after pulling the skin down and revealing it fully. Castiel let out a guttural moan. Dean was making this almost unbearable, and he needed more. “Dean- More-” Castiel begged and even the tips of Dean’s ears heated up in a bright pink colour at that.

He wasn’t used to Castiel taking such pleasure in things, and begging for more, just like this. And he was the one making the angel do this. Fuck yes. Dean felt proud of himself and thus he decided to be brave, and he slowly parted his lips and sucked in the entire tip, moaning and closing his eyes as he bobbed his head on it gently and pushing his tongue against it.

Castiel almost went wild with pleasure, arching up from the bed, his eyes sparkling with grace again and his hand gripped forcefully in Dean’s hair which made Dean moan eagerly. He pushed his head back against Castiel’s hand, urging him to grip tighter.

And he did. Castiel most certainly did and he grabbed a fistful of hair and held Dean in place, watching him as he moved delicately around the tip with his lips and his tongue. Dean groaned, the hand in his hair feeling fucking amazing and his lips tightened the grip around the head of Cas’ cock in response. Dean clawed at the sheets, needing more, but pulled off for a second to catch his breath.

Castiel got worried when he heard Dean panting, and released his grip of his hair in favour to cup his chin and tilt his head up.

“Are- Are you alright?” Castiel asked breathlessly and Dean nodded.

“I’m fucking amazing.” Dean breathed and chuckled with a smug smirk. “And I can tell you feel the same.” Dean smirked and pressed a kiss to the shaft which made Cas’ eyes flicker again and his hand go back up to Dean’s head.

“Y-Yes, I- I do it’s- Amazing just- Don’t hurt yourself Dean-” Castiel said and Dean rolled his eyes.

“I’m not hurting myself Cas, I’m good. But… I need more.” Dean admitted and Castiel nodded.

“Take more. Take however much you want.” Castiel whispered, his eyes going dark with lust. Dean’s cheeks flushed and he bowed down again with his head, this time not only taking the tip in but he pushed his head lower, taking more of the angel in which caused a delicious moan to fall off of Castiel’s lips. Castiel’s hand tightened in Dean’s hair again, and Dean shivered at that lovely sensation.

He began bobbing his head again, up and down, up and down, sucking in his cheeks, then letting go of the pressure. Pressing his lips tighter together, then making them more soft. His tongue worked Castiel’s cock fast and hard, and then he just let it lay flat as he tried to deep throat as much as possible.

Castiel almost cried out in pleasure, far too loud for anyone in the bunker to not take notice. He reached up and bit his own knuckle to try to lessen his sounds. How was Dean so incredible at this? For a moment, Castiel felt jealous, wondering if Dean had done this before. But then he realised that was highly unlikely and tried his best to reassure himself that that wasn’t true. Castiel pushed Dean’s head down just a little, and Dean keened at that, arching prettily off the bed and pushing himself down even more.

This was fucking incredible, Dean thought to himself, and he never wanted to stop. The warmth filling his mouth, feeling completely guided and held by Castiel’s hands, being able to pleasure Cas to the point that the angel almost completely lost it. He didn’t want it to end, not at all, but he knew that was inevitable, of course it was.

Suddenly the head of Castiel’s cock bumped into the back of his throat, and Dean let out a filthy moan, trying not to choke or gag. Castiel almost swore, the pleasure of that overwhelming and Dean decided to do that again. And again. And again.

“Dean- Dean I-” Castiel let out a strangled noise and Dean was pretty positive on what was about to happen. He had already made a deal with himself to swallow every little drop as prettily as he possibly could, and it didn’t take long until his deal was brought into action.

Castiel came hard with a soft cry, his hips bucking upwards and his cock pressing against Dean’s throat again, making Dean squeeze his eyes shut and breathe heavily through his nose. He suddenly felt the warmth of Cas’ seed filling his mouth, feeling it trickle down his throat slowly and he began to swallow. The movement of him swallowing nearly pushed Castiel too hard, being already very over sensitive but he loved every moment of it.

Castiel still held a fistful of Dean’s hair tightly in his hand, gripping it desperately as he came all into Dean’s mouth and down his throat. “Dean- Dean Dean Dean-” Castiel chanted, his head lulling back when he couldn’t keep it up anymore. Dean continued to swallow, the load bigger than he’d thought but he didn’t mind. Castiel tasted just right. Perfect. And he found himself getting more aroused as he handled all of it pretty well.

Castiel let out a deep moan, his fingers lessening their grip in Dean’s hair slowly, and Dean pulled off only when he was sure Cas was finished. He kept his mouth shut, and crawled up so his head was just about hovering over Cas’ chest. He grabbed Castiel’s hand and pushed it against his throat before swallowing the last bit, making sure Cas could feel it go down. Dean licked his lips with a smirk before biting his swollen bottom lip and suckling it clean. Castiel watched him do all that, almost in awe, his jaw slightly dropped. “Dean- You-” Cas stuttered, unable to form a sentence apparently. Dean chuckled a little.

“Mhm. I definitely just did that.” Dean smirked and moved up a bit closer. “Good?” Dean asked, suddenly feeling a bit self conscious. Castiel rolled his eyes.

“Yes, yes Dean. Of course it was good. It was incredible, Dean. Thank you. It was… Unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.” Castiel said with a grin and Dean smirked proudly.

“And you loved it. You nearly lost control completely there for a second.” Dean said cheekily and Castiel smiled down at him.

“Mmm, I nearly did. Good thing I managed to calm down… Slightly.” He said, knowing he had still pushed Dean right up to his limits a few times. Dean nodded and then laid against Castiel’s chest, flopping down and closing his eyes.

“That was so freaking hot…” Dean muttered and stroke Cas’ chest. Castiel chuckled quietly.

“Yes, that is one way to put it.” Castiel hummed, stroking Dean’s tousled hair back in place. “And you were so very good at it… I sincerely hope you’ve never done this before?” Castiel asked and Dean huffed.

“Are you kidding me? Of course not. I’m just… A natural.” Dean said but then wrinkled his nose, realising how that sounded. Castiel simply smiled.

“You’re a natural at many things, Dean.” The angel said, stroking down Dean’s neck to caress it gently. “A natural hunter, fighter, lover, boyfriend.” Castiel hummed and laid down against the pillow. “A natural angel.” Castiel dared to say quietly and Dean blushed. “You are good at everything Dean.” He said and kissed the top of Dean’s head. Dean shuffled up a bit more to lay beside Cas and pressed close.

“Yeah? You really think so?” Dean asked and Castiel nodded with a smile.

“I know so.” Castiel responded and tilted his head, looking into Dean’s impossibly green eyes. “I know you, Dean, and I know all the good things and I cherish them every day.” Castiel whispered and kissed Dean’s forehead. “My beautiful hunter. My loving Dean.” Castiel hummed quietly and stroke his cheek. “And my very good giver of oral sex.” Castiel said and Dean rolled his eyes and punched Castiel’s chest playfully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> I'm sorry this took a bit longer, work has begun and I'm still working on the flat.  
> I hit a bit of a dip in my mental health as well, still crawling out of the biggest dip slowly but I managed to finish this chapter at last!  
> I hope you are doing good, with whatever you are doing right now! And I hoped you liked this steamy chapter ;)
> 
> Rock on!


	21. Interlude

INTERLUDE

Such a simple word, with such a heavy meaning.  
Such a simple word, that would make the light stop gleaming.

Protecting the ones you love, is easier said than done.  
Protecting the ones you love, while staring down the barrel of a gun.

An unfair deal, with no appeal.  
An unfair deal, that I wish wasn't real.

Doing what you must, is breaking my trust.  
Doing what you must, fills me with disgust.

You say there is no other choice, without another thought.  
You say there is no other choice, but you are all I've got.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!  
> I'm sorry this is short and more of a poem, but it's supposed to be a foreshadowing of what's to come.
> 
> I will write a two part finale to the story, it is all planned out I just have to write it.
> 
> My mental health got worse, and right now I'm swamped with Comic Con while having a really bad cold.
> 
> Thanks for being patient with me, just wanted to give you and update <3
> 
> Rock on <3


	22. Darkness

Darkness.

“Dean! Dean, I’m here to protec- Protect you-” Balthazar called as he rushed down the halls of the bunker. He had promised. He had promised Castiel, and he had promised Dean. He would keep him safe, he would keep him-

Balthazar froze once he entered the library, seeing Sam, Jack, and Castiel laying on the floor, barely moving. “Oh god-” Balthazar breathed and hurried to Cas, kneeling beside him. “Castiel? Castiel? Come on, not like this, I- I hurried I- I’m sorry I wasn’t fast enough I-” he rambled, gently holding Castiel’s head up.

Castiel groaned, coughing up blood as he opened his eyes slowly. “I- I don’t understand-” Castiel stuttered. “Dean- Dean he- Michael-” he breathed and coughed again. Balthazar nodded.

“I know, I know Castiel and I wasn’t fast enough. I tried. I will find Dean and I will help him. I promise you Castiel,” Balthazar breathed out quickly before vanishing in the blink of an eye.

Sam suddenly dragged in a deep breath, wincing and groaning. Castiel had managed to get up on his hands and knees after Balthazar had left, and he crawled quickly over to Sam.

“Sam? Sam, Sam are you alright? How are you feeling? Sam?” Castiel rambled, reaching for the younger brother. Sam let out a soft noise, looking up at the angel with lidded eyes.

“How- Cas- This isn’t- This can’t be- Real-” Sam stuttered, looking over at Jack who now sat up as well, his face buried in his hands. Castiel looked at him with sadness in his eyes.

“Jack? He’ll be alright, we’ll fix this, we’ll-”

“No we won’t, Castiel, he’ll be gone forever now, you heard what Michael said,” Jack interrupted, his voice low and defeated.

***

It had all gone so fast. The blast of grace, the light, Michael, the blackmail, the deal he had forced upon Dean and the way Dean had just agreed without hesitation. Well, Michael did have all of them in the palm of his hand, ready to snap his fingers to kill everyone off at once unless Dean did as he was told.

So Dean had said yes, again, without thinking about it, again.

Castiel stood up slowly, bracing himself against the table. Right now, Balthazar was their only hope.

***

Say what you want about Balthazar. That he’s immature, that he’s selfish, that he likes shiny pretty things. But amongst all of those more juvenile and negative facts, lies the fact that Balthazar keeps his promises. Especially to the people that matter the most to him.

Balthazar had used all of his new power, able to track Michael back to heaven. Why on earth would he had gone up there? Balthazar ran through the white, spotless hallways, panting hard.

“Michael! Show yourself! Quit these games of yours! They’re no fun, not when I was a regular angel and not in my current position either!” Balthazar yelled through the hallways, trying to see any sign of Naomi as well. He breathed out in frustration when he didn’t find either of them.

He rushed down a few more hallways, trying to feel Dean, and the grace that he carried that was Castiel’s. But there was too much interference. Balthazar growled in frustration and gripped his hair tightly. Maybe this was all his fault, somehow. He had been the worst archangel in existence thus far, so perhaps this was all his wrongdoing as well.

***

The three of them sat quietly around the map table. There weren’t any words. No plans. No course of action. And Sam knew that, Castiel knew that, even Jack knew. Perhaps that was why the silence wasn’t as deafening as it used to be, only… Hopeless.

Jack squirmed and wiped his nose. “We have to do something,” Jack murmured and Sam shrugged.

“What? What could we possibly do? We don’t have any of the things we used when we pushed out Michael last time, and we don’t even know why he took Dean this time around in the first place. We have no place to start we have- Nothing,” Sam lowered his head again and sniffled softly.

Castiel looked at the two of them, his head sinking as well. He felt like he needed to do penance. He hadn’t been able to protect /his/ Dean. He had promised Dean, wholeheartedly that he would be safe, that he would be able to protect him. Yet… He had failed. Completely. Wholly. 

“I suppose that… All we can do is wait for Balthazar…” Castiel mumbled and Sam let out a laugh.

“Yeah right, Cas, he’s /useless/ and you know it. It took all of us plus Rowena to help Dean so how is he supposed to be able to do anything on his own?”

***

 

Balthazar blinked his eyes open, frowning. What happened? He looked around himself, realising he was sitting… In a chair… By his desk… In his own corner of heaven and-

“Hello Balthazar, long time no see. I see you have gotten a promotion as well. Good for you,” Michael hissed, standing in front of the desk.

Balthazar flinched, seeing Dean, like this, as Michael, made his blood boil and freeze at the same time.

“Hello, Michael. And yes. Promotion. Now, what on earth do you want?” Balt said, trying to keep calm and collected. He looked deep into Michael’s eyes, and he could’ve sworn he saw Dean through them. Scared, lonely. Michael stood up tall and nodded.

“I want to speak to our father. You know, God himself,” Michael said and nodded. “Don’t have much time, so if you want Dean back in one piece, cough the old man up,” Michael said and Balthazar frowned.

“I- You know he’s not here, Michael, and what do you need him for?” Balthazar said, confused. Michael chuckled menacingly.

“I need to have a discussion with him. See, I don’t want to be here. I want a new world of my own. To rule. To destroy. Earth is… Boring. If you hadn’t noticed. And I. Want. A new. Toy.” Michael said firmly, pouncing the table with his fist with each word he spoke. Balthazar swallowed thickly.

“Earth is quite boring, yes. Horrible films as well, have you seen the Titanic-”

Balthazar was cut off by another loud bang against the table.

“God. Here. Now.” Michael demanded and Balthazar cleared his throat. He looked into Dean’s green eyes, licking his lips nervously.

“Poughkeepsie,” Balty said and Michael chuckled.

“Oh don’t worry, Dean is fully aware of what is happening. No need to use his little code word.” Michael smirked. Balthazar growled in frustration and tried to shake free from his chair.

“The grace Dean! Use it!” Balthazar yelled and Michael frowned.

“What are you talking about? He can’t use /my/ grace? He doesn’t even know how grace works, Balthazar,” Michael hissed and Balthazar panted heavily.

Balthazar closed his eyes, shaking his head softly before he started laughing. Michael tilted his head. “What’s so funny?” He asked and Balty tilted his head back and continued to laugh.

“What’s so funny? Well… A lot has changed since you once inhabited Dean as a vessel. If you only knew…” Balthazar said, stalling for time. Michael moved closer, leaning over the desk.

“Enlighten me, then,” Michael nearly whispered and Balthazar grinned at him widely.

“Well, you see, Dean has his /own/ grace now, can’t you feel it?” Balthazar said and Michael frowned, tilting his head. Balthazar chuckled. “Of course not you always missed the details, big brother, but, let me make it a bit easier for you,” Balthazar said and with a quick chant of Enochian, he managed to release his right arm from Michael’s force hold and he reached into his blazer pocket.

He pulled out a vial of grace, and before Michael had time to react, Balthazar smashed it against the table. “Now Dean! Do it now!” Balthazar yelled and the grace rushed into Dean’s body through his nose and his mouth.

A shot of grace. And not just any grace. /Castiel’s grace/. Which Naomi had been storing away from a long long time ago.

“What the-” Was all Michael managed to say before he let out a deep groan and fell to the floor, cramping and crying out in pain. The release on Balthazar weakened, and the angel quickly stood up and rushed around the desk.

Michael fought against it, and cast Balthazar across the room. Balty cried out in pain and clutched his stomach. “Dean! You can do it! Push him out! You’re stronger than ever you’re-” 

Suddenly, Balthazar’s speech was muffled, his mouth having been sewn shut and Michael smirked evilly. “You talk too much!” Michael roared but the cried out in pain once again.

All the lights in heaven were going in and out, the power, the sheer force of grace was something unlike heaven had seen in a long long time.

Inside of Dean’s mind, things were different. While before, Michael had done everything and anything to keep Dean in the dark. But this time, he didn’t even bother. It was all dark. All black. Like the empty, and Dean, he was attacking the walls. He was attacking the darkness. He was screaming, crying, clawing at himself, at the walls, at the darkness.

Castiel’s grace was burning in his chest, and he tried to channel it, tried to use everything he had learned. He heard Balthazar call out for him, tell him that he was strong enough. But Dean, he had never been this terrified in his life.

“Come on! Show yourself!” Dean cried out, though with a lump in his throat that was almost blocking sound from escaping. “Are you too scared?! Huh!? Are you hiding in the shadows!?” Dean yelled and ripped at the walls and heard Michael scream out in pain.

Suddenly, Dean stopped, looking around himself. “No. No. No, no, no,” Dean stuttered, suddenly seeing images. Images of Sam, dead, Jack, dead, Cas-

“No!” Dean shouted, falling to his knees. “It’s lies- it’s all lies- we had a deal- we had a deal!” Dean rambled and cried, gripping his hair tightly.

He took a deep breath, and he focused his thoughts. The images were slowly replaced with images of Sam, smiling, showing him some stupid lore about some stupid case they had been on. Images of Jack forcing him to play his video game. But above all, images of Cas, his voice, telling him how proud he was, telling him-

“I love you, Dean,”

A pause. Darkness.

Dean tilted his head up and opened his eyes.

Grace. Pure. Raw grace. In it’s purest form.

Dean cried out and clawed at his chest, tearing it open.

And there was only grace.

And then there was only darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah... Hey there.  
> So, I've been to hell and back. And then back to hell again.  
> And right now I might be in limbo. Or purgatory. Or who knows.
> 
> But, I read through my story, because I still love it a lot but I needed fresh eyes and a fresh take of what I wanted the finale to be.  
> So, here's part one of the finale.
> 
> I hope you like it, after all this time. Thanks for sticking with me.  
> Next, Part two, left you at a cliffhanger, I know. But fresh eyes, I know where this is going so...
> 
> Rock on bitches <3

**Author's Note:**

> I also just want to add that I don't really want to go through a beta reader right now, and English is not my first language, so be patient with any faults you might see <3
> 
> Thank you for reading <3


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